Evelyn

@Shin You can get lucid dreams with those questions! Reminds me of when I had lucid dreams and I was unsure of whether I was dreaming or not, so I did a reality check to make sure I was dreaming, just before jumping off buildings... just in case .

@Jack River I think I see what you mean, to do self-inquiry you have to ask from the perspective of "I" who is asking, therefore perpetuating the "I". Something like another subtle trap you cannot notice easily.

@Jack River When I ask who am I or who is thinking my mind stops and I become aware, very aware and present. I think that is the purpose? Btw, after I realized I was in the ego observer trap and that being aware was such an effort because "I" was being aware, I calmed and relaxed quite a bit. My awareness is different somehow now, it feels more flowing and natural. And as with all things and coincidences today the Dhjedi master key from ArcturusRa arrived. It is a key mentioned by @AleksM, the forum member who wrote about continual breath awareness. As I put it on I felt subtle vibrations in my crown and heart chakra and as I meditated a bit I felt the root chakra heating... And I feel incredibly calm and centered, it's as if I took a tranquilizer . It is amazing, I feel so incredibly good, like it slowed down my hectic mind and I am able to be more aware. Did not expect to work so fast and so well...

@Outer I haven't really tried self-inquiry. Since some time my goal has been to become englightened, to know the truth, but yea, I guess it slipped my mind to even ask who wants to get enlightened . I just took this meditation method and run with it. I see the value of it, when I ask these questions my mind sort of stops on its tracks and hits a wall... Funny feeling . Thanks for the tip. Also, that map is amazing . @Leo Gura Reading your reply made me realize how ego-centered I actually am. Everythig in my life revolves around "me" and everything is about "me". I am doing this observation, I am aware, I am frustrated, I try, I get angry, I search for answers, I want to know etc... I think I have fallen into what is called ego obsever trap and did not even realize it. I read about it but of course I said nay nay nay , IIIIIIIIIII am deeply aware :)) I also noticed a subtle program or pattern of victimhood I did not see before. All this struggle and frustration creates a feeling of helplessness and I feel pity for myself and I search and ask for answers to make me feel better. All this creates and perpetuates the sense of I. I quite enjoy being the victim and sabotaging myself, which gives much fuel to the ego... @njuufa Yes, my mind chimed in and already wanted to grab the thing I cannot really grab. Indeed there is still much work to do. I don't have to give up, though I do think about giving up a lot of time, which is part of the behaviour mentioned earlier. I whine and complain and pity myself and then I try again and then I sabotage myself again and pity myself again. It's so subtle and I have been so identified with this behaviour that only now I see it. This is not the first time I see some behaviour I was totally identified with. I have to deconstruct what this "me, I and myself" is and in the end realize that there is no "I". Thanks a lot for the answers, made me realize a few things, I feel like this is what I needed to continue.