Anna

@sjonesartist You got it. Besides this stupid behavior, this shit made me physically and mentally ill. It's hard to restructure your mind when you finally realize this is just hypercritical bullshit.

Maybe a combination of meditation and finding your life purpose would help you. Meditation keeps you focussed and your life purpose motivated. Maybe this will help:

Good! Keep doing it. In my eyes 8-14 min are not enough at all. I've started with 20 minutes, now I'm at 40-60 min. I somehow need the first 20 minutes to calm my mind down (It's always quite chaotic there ) and especially for stop thinking. Be present, no thoughts on what you are going to do this day, no worries, no time for fantasy land, nothing but the present moment. ... but before I'm going to write a huge text here, maybe this video will help:

Good! Keep doing it. In my eyes 8-14 min are not enough at all. I've started with 20 minutes, now I'm at 40-60 min. I somehow need the first 20 minutes to calm my mind down (It's always quite chaotic there ) and especially for stop thinking. Be present, no thoughts on what you are going to do this day, no worries, no time for fantasy land, nothing but the present moment. ... but before I'm going to write a huge text here, maybe this video will help:

@Soumya

Maybe this will help:

@Annie You are already writing about a solution, don't you notice? You two should think about how to integrate some "couple-time". It's a complicated thing with two little kids, I understand, but I see a true necessity here. Yes, this spark fades after a certain amount of time, but that's normal. Maybe this problem will dissolve aswell if you two can spend more time together? Like strengthening your relationship even more and calming your mind (eleminating your worries!).

@zenny Look, @Soumya is finding her path. I guess, we did good here, didn't we?

Hey, finally found time to read the first entries of your journal! I'm glad you are into it. You are doing good and so are your thoughts! Is an important part, I guess. You should probably write it down separately and put it somewhere you can see it. I see extreme reactions towards your failures: Don't be so harsh on yourself! You are doing good and I also see realistic changes. I believe the schedules you set up are too tight and it's easy to fall off track. You panic when you fail, you blame yourself. You are not lazy! You're finding realistic solutions. Proof: Problem: Solution: Good one! Keep going, I will read your posts and will try to help you as good as I can.

I feel you. First of all: You have a wonderful husband! You seem to block your mind with all your thoughts. I believe you can't really let go of everything while having sex. You think about what happened to you in the past, feeling drained (energy) by your kids, worry he could leave you if you don't sleep with him... there is chaos and constant desperation in your head, isn't it? I have to admit my sex drive is quite high, but I notice significant downs when I think/worry too much about everything. Not specifically about sex, but like the daily things. When I stress myself, it's hard for me to free my mind while having sex. But it's still possible to focus, relax and let go. It really helps me to practice awareness and calming my mind through meditation. Stop thinking while having sex! No worries, no bad thoughts, NOTHING but the present moment. If you shut down random thoughts, sex can be pretty intense. And also: it's a good thing you two are talking so open about it! Do you even feel fulfilled? If not, what's missing? What do you need? I've always been open-minded towards guys when it came to sexual preferences. I noticed, the closer the whole act evolved into what I wanted, the more fulfilled I felt. My body is literally asking for repetition after a short period of time.

Maybe this will help: So you basically should stop to please other people. Be aware of what YOU really want. Do you deeply know what you wish for? Do you have problems with expressing it to your friends? Are you afraid of rejection?

@abrakamowse Yes it takes some time to let a simple action evolve into a routine. Had the same struggle with meditating in the morning. I set my alarm 30 minutes earlier than usual. What was the reaction of my mind/body? This: "Nooooo, come on. Let's continue to sleep, you can meditate in the evening." Bla bla bla, comfort zone. I didn't give up and now it's a daily routine. Wow that's impressive! I couldn't imagine to do the same, but I guess my "sports-behavior" is quite similar. I walk so much, go for a run and use the bike so often... my app never stops counting new kilometers.

@Falk You calculate as much as I do, haha but believe me this will backfire on you and eventually leads to OCD behavior some day. So please stop. I try to be flexible from Monday till Friday when it comes to things I can't integrate into a plan. My boyfriend is really spontaneous aswell. I also have fixed routines like running on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (sometimes Sunday) or meditating in the morning after my breakfast. Self-actualization has a high priority in my life that's why I spend nearly the whole Sunday writing my journal, watching Leo's latest video, doing yoga, meditation and everything what feels beneficial to me. I sometimes exaggerate with setting up plans and schedules and it freaks me out if I can't complete them. That's why I don't recommend it to you. Set priorities and include those things in your routines. Take your time.

Interesting view. I would say yes. It reminds me of what my boyfriend said to me: "You are the creator of the problem. There is nothing wrong, this situation is just uncomfortable for you and you don't know how to handle it, yet."

I can totally relate. Basically this is how my parents behaved too. It always made me feel like I'm never enough. Everything had to be perfect. Best example: Dad: "You have 98/100 points. Look what mistakes you've made!" Me: "Dad, I have the best mark I could achieve!" Dad: "Well, but you made mistakes..." Me: "" Everything got worse in puberty. Oh man... *facepalm* Finally it's over and I live in another city. I talked to my mum about the past and explained to her what could have been better. So the whole situation relaxed when I left their house and moved. As you can see I understand what's going on in your head, but stop blaming them. They still love you and did the best they could. You are aware of the aspects you don't like about their behavior, that's a good thing! You made some uncomfortable experiences, but use it and create a better behavior. I guess you are on a good track.

@Elton I always set up plans, schedules and mind maps. I freak out when I don't have one. It works really well for me!

@KeepPounding Leipzig

What the hell... made my day _____________________________________EDIT_____________________________________ @Argue So it's obviously not a joke, I'm going to edit my post. In my eyes it's rude of her freaking out like this. A woman shouldn't complain about the man if she didn't talk to him about her preferences. Even every man has his own way and experiences. But for me it's always the easy way: just talking about it. I seriously never had problems with a man. I won't tell everything on here, because it's somehow a private thing, but personally I don't like this romantic-constantly-kissing-bla-bla-shit. I like rough and dominant men, especially because I'm pretty dominant aswell. I'm not a cliché woman when it comes to my preferences. Also every woman has her own way she likes it, but they simply don't talk about it! It freaks me out how close minded women can be! *facepalm*

Biting my nails was kind of a starting point for me too, but I just stopped doing it. After some years it turned into cutting and beating myself. Just to relief sadness and other feelings I couldn't stand. It just makes everything worse, but it's an addiction. Hard to believe, I know. That's why I started running. I listened to my body/mind and whenever I felt pressure, anger, depression, sadness ... coming up I ran like crazy. It helped a lot and became a good habit and routine. It keeps me active and I never cut again. I didn't feel the urge aswell.

@FindingPeace This is what we suspect, but what does @Leo Gura say?

You should try to eat regularly. Give your body a routine/ a rhythm.

I don't believe you are ugly. You are more than your reflection and also: it doesn't matter what other people think of you. Be happy, accept yourself and especially learn to love yourself the way you are. You should start to think positively, because... negative thinking -> expecting bad comments on your appearance -> panic / nervousness -> comments come -> you refer everything to your appearance -> feeling sad, hopeless and depressed Do you know what I mean? Break out! This cycle is destructive. Maybe this will help:

@Zane Found it @SaynotoKlaus For your information: Leo answered: "Yes, I have plans to make a video about how to be more creative."

@Zane insert a link to your post, so Leo can find it more easily.

Work on your confidence and relax. Nothing bad will happen. @Sami Haha, nicely said