Julio martinez

Yes, jumping from 5 to 10 gr thinking that knowing will be deeper just make it more confuse. Was my mistake and I learn from it.

I will share my awakening story in other moment. Working with magic mush the last year on meditation took me thru is call kundalini awakening. The life energy, the serpent dormant on your root chakra. I was feeling the energy going up and down my entire body. One day kriyas (involuntary movements after meditation or relax state) appear. I was scare, but never to the point to keep my practice, my expansion of consciousness. after a couple weeks during deep meditation a realization appear. Kriyas just vanish because I realize that was my awareness taking place, moving ego to the side. My mind was quiet for the first time in my life, I was feeling like eckhart tolle. Able to answer any existence question. But, I keep pushing myself into more meditation. Now I understand concept like reality, duality, awareness, nothingness, free will...and more. Pressure on my head was the indication of the third eye open and going to blow into crown chakra. last meditation on 10 gr, I understand the meaning of enlightement, my body was ripped on parts and the feeling of I was dead overwhelmed. The "source" a warm amber place where I discover who I am on my first meditations was replaced for what I call "the white room" was like waking up from the illusion of life. Was the explanation and understanding that I'm consciousness and everything is consciousness (maybe we can called god or creator) the understanding on how consciousness in order to experience his own consiousness destroy itself into we call reality, the deep understanding of the illusion of time and space was downloaded on me. And the realization of what enlightement mean and how to reach that state. That we are one consciousness. The understanding of reencarnation enlightenment is trancendanse, the transformation to your highest level, going into pure consciousness.. we called dead, but to reach that state, you have to peel all the layers of the ego illusion on you, and need to be done before time and space illusion makes you come back as a new being (before getting old, and that is other kind of enlightement) i know, this is my reality, and after enlightement everything I know will be vanish. But, I'm holding tight on my left over ego is on me, I changed to much in a short time. is hard to swallow, but in a ruff way to reach enlightement is thru self destruction of the illusionary self the destruction of ego. And that is way monks, yogis and others practice. if you relate, please let me know what's coming, I don't want to keep going, I'm not ready for what's is on the end of the rabbit hole.

Thanks, I understand.