mmKay

Insane how heavy metal toxic I must be. My mental clarity is through the roof again but its day 2/3 and physically Im exhausted. Adrenals must be crashed. Alarm is ringing at night and it's getting exponentially more difficult to get out of bed. I want every single last drop of that shit out of my body.

- Feel free to comment, ask questions, give unasked advice, use this post for resources, etc. ( all under your own risk and judgement ) Basically, the idea is that I'll be documenting and sharing my journey of chelation. I'm a noob for now, but I expect to gather a decent chunk of understanding throughout this year. This has been on my to do list for over a year now, and I've been motivated recently by Leo dropping the long awaited episode on chelation released for my birthday ?. Sadly, the episode is not as detailed as I'd like it to be and I'm afraid he may have forgotten some crucial information. But if there is time to whine, there is time to roll up my digital sleeves and get to work and research. Let's hope my journal doesn't end up being a Brian Bander's Suicide note 2.0 (RIP)

Pretty cool concept. Exploring history visually with AI They have lots of shorts

Turns out either 100mg dmsa every 4 hours is too much or dosing every 4 hours is too long of a period. That first dose made me feel euphoric but it's been downhill from there. Fatigue and sloppy mind. But better than before starting the round so I'll take it. Ill change it to dosing every 3 hours for the remaining 2 days. You're not supposed to change dosing up mid round but I feel increasing dose by increasing the frequency of dosing isn't that terrible. Redistribution happens when you lower dose not when you increase it, as if my current understanding of the situation.

I mean what I described is way more hardcore than common disassociation given the context I've given. Just throwing it into that bucket doesn't make it justice. Plus stuff like disassociation, derealisation and depersonalisation is not even properly understood by psychologists since pretty much none have a proper epistemological and metaphysical understanding

Not to leak too much personal info, but I once I had a client with Diogenes Syndrome. She’s in her early 30s. She has 3 apartments full of stuff to the top. After 6 hours of conversation, turns out that she was sexually abused at birth, which she actually could remember. She told me she remembered that her consciousness withdrew into pure nothingness, and she observed what was happening to her “from the outside.”, like a 3rd person perspective. She completely detached from her body. So we concluded that what happened is that her mind then created a negative association with nothingness (that “place” she found herself in during that traumatic experience), which resulted in a fear of “nothingness” (look up “kenophobia or nihilophobia”), and then she got into the habit of compulsively filling out any kind of emptiness with “stuff,” to run away from “nothing.” She filled physical emptiness with objects (and every object had a special meaning or story her mind would hold onto, to escape the absence of meaning of the objects), contributing to the compulsive hoarding. She escaped loneliness (emptiness of company) with 8 simultaneous relationships. She filled her mind with consistent, endless thoughts (what she called “ADHD”). She filled silence in conversations with endless talking. So she had to do progressive desensitisation with nothingness, break the belief that “nothing” is bad (CBT type stuff , and embrace and love “nothingness.” Two decades of therapists couldn’t help her. To this day, the most fascinating client I’ve had. When you merge proper metaphysics and spirituality with psychology, everything clicks so beautifully. She’s also fully God-awake 24/7. She speaks about all the stuff Leo speaks about from direct experience (and so much more). Our first two sessions were 6½-hour long because of how fascinated I was and how much she was getting out of it. Pretty ridiculous looking back, actually. I’m actually going to meet her in person because of how unique she is. Leo would love to interview her lol Bonus; chech out Apeirophobia, the Fear of Infinity, Sigephobia, fear of Silence or Chronophobia, the fear of the passage of time.

I was about 4 years old if not less. I remember that I was crying and arguing with my dad because I wanted to stay at our pool and not go to the neighbours pool, and he didn't listen to me. I had a sudden experience of "observing this being" from a third person perpective, being angry and upset because of this situation, when deep down inside I knew that I don't actually mind, I was just role playing being angry and upset. Then most of my early life is a big blur until I started meditating at age 16. I randomly looked up " how to meditate" in youtube, because I saw " meditation" as an ability one of my pokemon had on my gameboy color. And that's how I found Actualized.org

Ok, this feels promising. I'm doing a dmsa only round. I took a single 100mg dmsa pill. I'll be dosing every 4 hours to make the round less intense. Immediately within one hour I started feeling an increase in energy and less brain fog, and a slight euphoria. It seems that a dmsa-only round can be a good way to overcome bad redistribution symptoms. Plan : 72 hours round( 3 days ) : 100 MG DMSA every 4 hours . 18 pills. Wait 1 week. 96 hour round ( 4 days ) : 100 MG DMSA + 25 MG ALA.Every 3 hours .32 pills of each Why? Because thats literally literally how many pills I have left lol. By chance it all adds up perfectly. So satisfying

I feel autistic these days. 180° flip from 2 weeks ago, when ai had limitless energy and mental focus. ALA only rounds haven't been to good for me. I'll try again when I have zeolite nanoparticles. For now DMSA + ALA and finishing by ending ala first and mopping up with dmsa works best for me. Ill start another 3 day round today as 3 days have passed since I finished my last round. I haven't fully recovered from the sleep debt but the redistribution side effects are pretty bad. Like I went from pretty much having breakthrough insight after breakthrough insight 2 weeks ago, to struggling with forming full sentences without going blank. Pretty scary. Also I had overcome that chronic dehydration thing for a month and now it's back full force for the last week

Leo's 27 traits of succesfull people video has a point on deliberate practice. There may also have been a blog post, but I don't rememember right now

Pretty messy round. Started dosing every 3h, then every 2h one day in, then accidentaly took a double dose, then cut it 8 hour short cause woke up 1 hour too late at night. I started having yellow feces which is a sign of the liver struggling and I don't have any liver suport around besides taurine, so I decided to cut the round short. Gotta say that at least right now I feel better off then when I started. Increasing dosis to every 2h and ascorbic acid every 2h was the right move.

I have very mixed feelings about this. Seems like a short-sighted move but IDK

24h in, feeling pretty sluggish. Sleep hasn't been refreshing. It's a 180º turn from last week where I'd wake up on 3 hour sleep super sharp and alert. I'll try dosing 100mg every 2 hours now. May be hit or miss. It may give me a more smooth chelation experience or the dose becomes too high ( more frequent dosing = higher overall dose )

3 doses in, not looking good. Was foggy in the morning, good after the run and now again pretty irritable, scattered and sluggish. Hope it gets better a few more doses in , as I start mega-dosing vitamin c more. I only had 4 days rest since finishing the last round, which is the very minimal amount of time off round

Sportswear. I mean running shoes I get but some people push it too far for sure.

Started another ALA Only round. The timing is not ideal since I'll be going to Madrid for a few days soon and I don't want to cope with redistribution as I'm there... but I wanna see if I can snap myself out of this sluggishness. Ill try 100mg every 2 hours maybe. I'll see how I feel. Dosing every 3h rn. Still no adrenal cortex extract or Zeolite nanoparticles. I may just bring some from Philly come back in March

Going out for new years

I went to bed 8PM woke up 4:30 AM to work like a bik boi Going out for new years is conformity

PayPal mafia back at it again

Keep in mind that the ratio of action to theory has to be 10:1 for you to actually improve and get results. Becoming a theory junkie can actually set you back at a certain point. Just go out, "be yourself", and troubleshoot with theory when you face sticking points. Trouble starting interactions? Look that up. Running out of things to say? look that up. Don't know how to flirt? look that up. Don't know how to pull? look that up. Do not consume more content than you need. Have a basic model of game from start to close in your mind and refine it over time.

ah man that last week I felt like I was on cloud 9. Last few days I've been feeling pretty sluggish, tired and scattered. If it's redistribution, it's scary how long the effects take to kick in. Finishing DMSA before ALA may have screwed me up pretty bad. That or, I'm not used to finishing rounds without having Zeolite Nanoparticles at hand to mop up together with DMSA. EDIT: Gotta say there is absolutely nothing like a good run to cut through physical and mental fatigue. Even 2km or 20 min running, or HIIT makes a very clear difference within an hour.

If life is consistently a grind, you're doing something wrong

Part 3: Honey is the devil disguised as a browser extension. My fave comment so far : MegaLag is the worst thing that happened to Honey since Winnie-the-Pooh. 😂

Pff, having thoughts slip my mind and going blank thinking here and there. Redistribution is so annoying.