Davekay

Well two minutes concentration on the sensation in finger and thumb before just meditating and definitely there was a vast improvement on staying with moments of no mind.Just realising the state of being was experienced for much longer which ultimately led to seeing that it wasnt experienced....it was me

I meditate on a night time just before bed then listen to non duality,spiritual stuff till I fall asleep.last night at some point there is awareness of some kind of swirling feeling that was sucking away what seemed like everything I knew about my self...this swirling got faster and faster and I can remember thinking that this was a good thing and what I'd been after for a few years now. But as this whatever it was kept going on it got so intense that I felt that I bottled it and couldn't surrender then I somehow made myself wake up..Does anyone think anything was actually shifting in me or was it just a dream.

@Olly something like that happens to me when I'm meditating or doing self enquiry.its like I get to a certain point where I'm close to not knowing who I am then a massive fear takes over all my thoughts and body.its a bit off putting but I'm guessing its just thatcego afraid of the unknown

Am I on the right track with this.trying to see through the illusion that I am not really only a thought.why does when coming so close to realizing this does the thoughts go crazy..like I should be stopping what I'm doing

Yeah but the true me is not a thought.I understand I am aware of thoughts so why when it comes to that fact becoming so solid does the panic set in

A couple of times now during sitting doing self enquiry,I'm guessing the ego defense mechanism has kicked in and made it come to an end.the feeling of that I really don't know who I am really starts to be a possibility and it feels like my awareness is really expanding then that stupid voice comes in with shit like what if you turn out to be some nutcase murderer or something along them lines.really throws me off track.should I just sit through it and see where it goes?starts to make me panic a bit.

Just been pondering this and came up with all thought,language and communication seem to be either making a statement or asking a question.therefore is there any real meaning or worth behind any of it.

I've been meditating on a night time just before bed.although I can still really focus and still have insights I find by morning they have all seemed to go.like I forgot them all in my sleep..I've tried twice first thing in a morning and it seems that it is so much easier to carry through the day what you have got to in meditation..one question I'm still not sure in though I'd eyes open or closed

@walt thank you for sharing.the understanding is to this then that are going to be no quick fix.only the practice of self enquiry and daily meditation are going to be the way forward to raise awareness.

Sometimes it feels like I'm asleep for a large part of the day and I do see that.getting sucked into thoughts and situations but with retrospect it's clear what's going on.how to keep so aware of it in the moment is something that needs to improve

@Davekay Thanks..just feels like during daily life especially at work the whole day seems to be run by thoughts..And I stop seeing them as just thoughts that I understand them to be.

Just wondered if anyone had any thoughts on how to sort of carry on with what goes on through the time during meditation and self enquiry into the actual working day..it feels like I get some real insights and understanding about truth while I'm deep in contemplation but when it comes back to say going to work or been with the family it seems to just take a back seat.any ideas please