milosmajlo

He needs to stop watching porn as soon as possible because on the long run it will damage both of you. He won't be able to get aroused by you because his brain will be installed and attached to those scenes, girls, sex, and all other fake stuff that is in the porn, and when he gets in contact with a reality he will be confused and you will be frustrated, I think that you must find some way to let him know about this problem and believe me, if he really loves you he will understand this and will take some responsibility for the sake of you both

I would really like to master this thing, it seems like a great habit that anyone who is in a pursuit of self - actualization should master it. So can you share some tips or methods that are really working, and how are your results from your experience?

@MIA.RIVEL Guys cheat from many reasons but the most common ones are that they do so because they don't really love their girls, or they do have some affection they care and are connected but they want to get the best out of life, they don't want to kinda get stuck especially if they are young, so they want to explore and find themselves. I don't know your case well enough but I think that you lack a good communication with him, because that's on of the most important things in a relationship.

You never cheat nor get interested in other man if you really love someone. But somehow what has happened to you is a good thing, as the time goes by your will realize that you've done something that was right for you not what other people want and expect. We as human beings are on a journey, the whole point is to find out who you are and what do you want. Your example shows that you were the leader and he was the follower in your relationship and that right there is a gender roles shift which can't last on the long run.

@Ayla Give me an example. Let's say I say something about someone along the line "Look at him, he's lazy, he is only watching TV series all day, eating junk food, playing video games throughout the whole evening until the sunrise, what a miserable life he lives" So with this comment what have I done? Do I want to say that I'm better than him, or that I would never live a life like that therefore putting a boundaries between me and him? Can you explain it to me what judgments do to my life? How do they reflect my personality?

This characteristic of non-judgement is fascinating to me. Doing a little of retrospection I've noticed that in my previous years I've judged a lot, and doing both consciously and unconsciously judges, from a few words to a long judgmental conversations. The bottom line is that this is a very bad thing. In my last months I've improved a lot but there are some times where I haven't said anything about someone bad therefore making a picture that I am this open-minded guy but in my head I've dropped some mean comments. Is it possible to eliminate this characteristic of judging everything once and for all?

@MonikaBcn You didn't get my point, I never said that women are cars and we as a men should treat them that way. I was just giving an example for what does it mean to be valuable vs invaluable according to my perspective.

@Navyissuedwife That's one of the best things that you can do, to invest in yourself and never settle, always to have that thought that tomorrow you will be much better person than yesterday, and you know there is always a good thing in all seemingly disasters, imagine this same scenario but you are 35 to 40 years old, in your situation you have a lot of options in front of you, but let them be based on your own intuition and doing what's right for you, not what other people say

Marriage is not necessarily a bad thing. But here's the thing that you would not like to hear. This issues is your fault as much as his. You haven't taken a full 100% responsibility for your actions, you are blaming and pointing a finger at your husband, but in this situation my personal opinion is that he is someone to be blamed more because he is not a leader, he is fragile, hasn't been studying relationships and doesn't act like a real stable man, but on the other hand you are to blame to some degree because you entered into a marriage without knowing who you are and what do you won't from life but hey, you are only 23 it's never too late to regain the control of your life because you will find a way only if you are seeking it.

Recap: Guys have this so-called “approach anxiety” so when someone is not affected by anxiety and approaches girls in a very confident way therefore attracting a high number of them (dating, sex, etc) than he is perceived as Womanizer and is more VALUABLE around the men in society. Girls have “filter mechanism” and if that mechanism is weak, if they are not able to filter which guys are right for them, if they don’t know their own standards or worse (they don’ have any) then they end up sleeping with a lot of partners, as a result they are perceived as whores, and are less valuable. This is it. This applies to everything, almost every “street bum” can afford 2004 Chevrolet because it’s like 3K dollars, that car is not valuable, on the other hand not everyone can buy a Ferrari, that’s 200K+ dollars, you have to work hard for it, really earn it, that car is valuable, only a few can have it, not everyone can “ride” it. I personally try not to judge woman subjectively, but at least we all man should create our own standards, what do we want in women? What do we tolerate? How do we allow girls to interact towards us? What are our own true values?