Nichts

Glad to hear it helped. Wish you all the best!

Hey Eric, I recognize some of these tendencies in me too, although less severe. What you're describing fits a lot of the checkboxes of the avoidant attachment style (avoiding closeness and intimacy, not relying on others for support) I'll attach a checklist here so you can check to what extent it fits your experience: I took it from this website which I highly recommend reading: https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/ I used to struggle a lot (and still do to some extent) with connecting with other people, socially and romantically. I tried many different things to work with this (Radical Honesty, Nonviolent Communication, Pick-up, psychedelics, visualization, meditation, etc.) and they all helped a little bit but I felt they didn't quite address the underlying issue. What really changed things around for me was learning about my attachment style, and what's behind my tendencies to pull away from others. What I realized about myself is that I actually was afraid of closeness because I expected that if I let anybody close to me, they would hurt and abandon me. I was basically putting on a band-aid before I could even get hurt; rejecting others before they could reject me. That's my experience. I don't know if that is what's going on for you. To get more clarity on what your individual sticking-points are, it might help to take a quick test to get clear on your attachment style: https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/ . Although online tests are of course not super accurate, but it's better than nothing. What I do practically to work on this is the Ideal Parent Figure protocol developed by Daniel P Brown. It's been a life-saver for me; maybe you'll find it useful too. I'll attach some links here: Introduction to the exercises: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMtS8DUmdwM The actual exercises: https://www.integralsomaticawakening.com/resources Lastly, be kind to yourself. Even though it might be hard to see it now, there are VERY god reasons for your behavior, and beating yourself up for it is just going to make everything worse. Hope that helps.

In the last few weeks, I've had this underlying longing for crying. It's not that I'm particularly sad about anything, it's just that I would like to feel the whole palette of human emotions. And I've heard from some people that they had some powerful emotional releases after watching particular movies. So I'm curious: Which movies habe you seen that touched you deeply and triggered an emotional response in you?

Hey guys and girls, For about the last 6 months, I'm having problems with going deep when taking DMT. It all started when I had my first (and til now only) breakthrough experience 6 months ago. I was overwhelmed by it and had a strong ego backlash: Thinking that I kind of "broke" something in my psyche and being scared that I would never be able to return back to "normal". Since then, every time I'm smoking DMT, I have this resistance that keeps me from going deep. Whereas before my breakthrough I could just relax into the experience and let it take me where it wanted me to go, now always fears come up and I try to cling to my "normal state". I would so love to have this ease again that I had before my breakthrough, just being able to relax and go deep. Has anybody gone through something similar and has any tips for dealing with this resistance?

@Dand Thank you. I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone. And yes, time will heal. I just want it to happen more quickly. I've had about a dozen smaller doses since then, and a few powerful experiences since then, and the fear is still there. Thanks for the tip with journalling. I might try it out. @electroBeam You're right. I don't think the experience was "bad" in any way, and it is more normal than my "normal" state. And still, that doesn't change the fact that I have a giant fear of ever going there again. @Member I think the scariest thing was how irreversible it felt. If you use the analogy of a video game: It felt like I somehow glitched my way out of that video game called life, and then accidentally broke the computer. And that the game (my life, all of existence) would be forever broken and glitchy.

Let me introduce Travel Bum. I've stumbled over this guy a few months ago and I'm just amazed by how present and loving he seems. He combines nondual teachings and shadow work with seduction. I think this is some next level stuff. Far beyond regular pick-up and even beyond the "natural schools". A lot of his teaching still goes over my head but it makes intuitive sense to me. Often, you might have to watch his videos a few times to get the point. A few years back, he had a very popular series called the travel bum show where he traveled around the world and dated women along the way. Not that many profound teachings in there but very beautiful to watch.

I'm a bit confused. In Leo's latest blog post, he writes that 20% of severe cases are people between 20 and 44. This is the first time I'm hearing this info. What I've heard before is that Corona is mostly dangerous for old people and that most young people just get flu-like symptoms. Any thoughts on this? Do you know some sources that I don't know which share these numbers?

You might have a point there. Still, I can't imagine that the media or scientists would hide or fail to report such an important fact. Why is every credible media source saying that it's not as lethal if you're young? There must be some other factor that we're not seeing here.

@electroBeam This might be a factor that plays into it. And I don't think it's the only one. You saying that age effect is a small factor is speculation. I'm pretty sure that scientists take things like this into account when they calculate a death rate.

Where did you get this information? This site which takes their numbers from the WHO, says otherwise: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-age-sex-demographics/ @Leo Gura I read the article. Couldn't find anything about it being that dangerous for young people. This site right here speaks of 5% severe or critical cases.

Yeah, I know that. I was surprised that exactly this number was this high. I thought that out of the people with the virus, the portion of people with severe symptoms would be smaller. Especially for young people. Because that's what I'm told from all sides: "You will most likely survive the virus but stay inside to protect the old and vulnerable"

Hey everyone, I'm about to make a decision about a big sum of money and could really use some second opinions. So, I've found this 3- day Daygame/Pick up boot camp in a city near me which starts a few months from now. I'm very excited about it and would very much like to go there. The thing that got me thinking though, is the fact that it costs $3000. Right now, I am 19 years old and studying. I have a decent amount of savings (the price for the boot camp is about 15% of my savings), so I could pay for the boot camp if I wanted to. It still is a hell lot of money and I don't know if it is worth it. And yet, I can think of a lot of reasons for why attending the boot camp might be a very good idea: I just really want to make progress in that area of my life. Flirting and also social skills in general have always been a weak spot for me and I would really like to fix that. I know that I can also make progress in dating through others means than the boot camp but I am scared that this might take a long time and that I'll be bothered with doing pick-up for the next few years with only slowly making progress. For example, my new year's resolution for this year was to get better with girls and do lots of cold approaches. And in the end, I ended up doing only around 20 (!) approaches during the entire year til now. It's really frustrating to not live up to my expectations and I am scared of having a few more years like this one, where I tell myself that I will make progress, but in the end, I barely do. I'd like to get this area of my life handled as quickly as possible so I can move on to more meaningful things like life purpose, committed relationships, or spirituality. I'm actually already becoming sick of that pick-up stuff, and at the same time, I think that this is a phase that you have to go through in order to go further. Right now, even though I would like to be in a serious relationship, I imagine that I'm not ready for that yet. I think that I first need to date a decent amount of girls to get to know myself better, see what kinds of girls I like, what's important to me in a relationship, and to get more comfortable with my own sexuality. I think that the earlier I get this area of my life handled, the more benefits I will get in the long term. Almost like a compound effect. My life purpose involves, among other things, Nonviolent Communication (NVC). This will most likely be my domain of mastery. And one of the best ways to practice NVC is by being in a relationship. So, I imagine it to be like this: The earlier I get into a committed relationship, the earlier I'll be mastering NVC, therefore the earlier I can actualize my life purpose. It's still a LOT of money Do any of you guys have experience with dating boot camps? Would you say it was worth it for you? I've also considered doing an only course instead but I'm worried that I might just not take enough action if I don't have somebody in person pushing me. Also, on a boot camp, you get feed-back from your coaches which I think can save you a lot of time and effort. What's your experience with online courses? (How much) Did you benefit from them?

Thanks for all of you guys' answers. I decided against doing the bootcamp.

@Spiral thank you! What do you mean with "PD" online course?

I had the same problem. Felt stressed at every driving lesson and seriously doubted my abilities. I think I needed like 60 hours til I got my driver's license. So, compared to me, you're still doing well Meditation can help with stress and anxiety but I suppose you already know that. People are not equally talented at everything. Just because you're having difficulties learning to drive doesn't mean you're stupid. It might just mean that you need more time than the average person. That's ok! Don't beat yourself up for it. See it as a growth opportunity. This is a great exercise in mindfulness and managing your emotions. See your driving lessons as a mental workout. If you keep working on it deliberately you will succeed eventually.

Hey guys and girls, I am struggling with the following problem: I don't seem to need any less sleep, even though I meditate two hours every day. I've been practicing vipassana meditation as taught be S.N. Goenka for almost 5 months now. I meditate every day for two hours. One hour in the morning and one in the evening. In the discourses during the retreats, the teacher said that you need less sleep when you meditate daily. He said that if you meditate for two hours a day continuously, you'll need about one hour less sleep. However, this doesn't seem to be the case for me. I still need my eight hours*, no matter how long I meditated the day before. This wasn't such a big issue until now because in the last few months I didn't have many responsibilities. But now, uni has started and I've got much less free time. So right now, I am basically spending 10 hours a day doing nothing and I don't know if I can keep this up. My sleep quality is pretty good, by the way. I tracked it with the Dreem 2 EEG headband and according to them, my sleep quality is above average in my age group. I also don't drink or do any other kinds of drugs (apart from psychedelics every now and then). I eat very healthy, do a good amount of sports, and try to go to bed at the same time every day (which doesn't always work out). I also use blue-light filters for both my computer and my phone. So I have no clue why I still need eight hours of sleep. Has anyone here an idea? Could it be because I'm still young (19 y/o) and my brain just needs that amount of sleep to properly develop? Or might I be doing something wrong with my meditation practice? * If I don't have an alarm in the morning, I usually tend wake up naturally after 8 hours

@Odysseus I wasn't talking about the left specifically here. I meant both sides. However, I agree with you that logical arguments probably are not the most useful thing. That was probably the "orange me" speaking. "Facts" would be a better term.

Hi everyone, I have almost completed the Life Purpose Course and, after four months finally think that I’ve figured out my Life Purpose. Although I am pretty sure that it goes in the right direction, there are certain points I’m not entirely sure about. I think having some other perspectives and opinions on this could help me out a lot. In short, my Life Purpose is as follows: “Taking on and combining different perspectives to help people to understand each other's views” So, this is gonna take me a while to explain because I think I need to explain some background information to accurately explain my life purpose and the intentions behind it. I hope that, if you choose to read this whole post, it won’t completely waste your time and you’ll maybe also take one or two insights from it. I already kind of knew what impact I wanted to have on the world, even before I took the course. Although I kind of repressed it because I was (and still am) scared of it. While taking the course it came into my awareness again and it became more and more clear to me that this is what I need to do in life. About two months ago though, I had a series of realizations which reframed and changed my view on it. But more on that later. So, before this realization two months ago, my impact statement looked something like this: “To raise attention about the dangers of mass migration into Europe and eventually find a way to stop it”. I guess this is going to offend some people, so, before I go on, let me explain why I think this way. If you disagree with me on this: I understand you. Two years ago, I probably had the same opinion as you. It was a long and painful process for me to change my opinion on this. I will now explain my political journey and opinion in detail. This is gonna be pretty long because I’m worried that people might misunderstand me. If you consider this too long, I also wrote a TL;DR below, you might wanna skip forward to that. As many of you probably know , in 2015 the German chancellor Angela Merkel opened the borders and let over a million asylum seekers in. Around that time I was still pretty left politically. I saw (and still see) myself as a citizen of the world and viewed it as our duty as Germans to help those who had to escape from their home countries. I did not at all understand right wing movements like PEGIDA (Patriotic Europeans against the Islamisation of the Occident) or Generation Identity or right-wing parties like the AfD (Alternative for Germany). I saw them as xenophobic Nazis who are just selfish, racist and evil. However, as more and more people started to vote for the AfD I started wondering. I just couldn’t believe that over ten percent of German people should be racists. So I decided to them a chance and actually looked at the arguments they were making. And to my surprise those arguments actually made sense to me. I realized how different cultures can be. I looked into surveys who were asking Muslims in different cultures about their views on women’s rights, gay rights and political and religious freedom. You can have a look at them yourselves: http://www.pewforum.org/2013/04/30/the-worlds-muslims-religion-politics-society-beliefs-about-sharia/ http://www.pewforum.org/2013/04/30/the-worlds-muslims-religion-politics-society-women-in-society/ And I am very very worried that in a few decades people with such opinions will be the majority in many European countries. And yes, this could actually happen. Families with a migration background have a much higher birthrate than families in almost all of European countries. And in many German cities, children with a migration background are already the majority. All by itself this wouldn’t be a problem for me. I don’t consider myself a patriot at all. What worries me are, as stated above, the political opinions of the majority of Muslims in Europe. And those opinions don’t seem to change very much over generations. And I am genuinely scared that the many rights and liberties we enjoy in Europe , which people fought for centuries to attain, could vanish if a majority of people vote against them. I could go on and on with arguments. For example how on average, people with a migration background commit significantly more crimes, especially when it comes to instances of homicide, mayhem, rape and sexual assault. But I do not want this post to become more political than it needs to be. If you’d like to discuss this more deeply with me, feel free to send me a DM. I would actually be very happy if you changed my mind on this topic because my whole family and almost all of my friends disagree with me on this and I am very worried that this might damage many of my relationships. TL;DR: In a nutshell I now believe that it would be much better for everybody if those refugees didn’t go all the way to Europe to seek asylum but rather receive help in their neighboring countries which in turn receive financial aid from the countries in Europe. This would not only be cheaper, which means more people could receive help. It would also be safer for the refugees who would not have to go on a dangerous journey over thousands of miles and they also could get home much more easily once there is peace again in their home countries. Also I think letting so many people with completely different views on human rights, democracy and religious freedom into Europe would pose a big threat to the people in Europe. Alright, with all that being said, we can continue to the important part of this post. While researching and contemplating on how to solve this problem, I realized that most of the people who are against this policy of open borders (at least in Germany; I’m not entirely sure how it is in other European countries) are conservative SD stage blue/orange type of people. Because of that, I realized two things: 1. They terrible at convincing (mostly stage green) people who have the opposite opinion because they don’t speak their “language”. Stage blue and orange arguments just don’t resonate with green people. And vice versa. 2. Blue/Orange have their limits. So even if the AfD* gets a majority of votes (which is nearly impossible imo because they don’t appeal to the many green people in Germany), they might stop mass migration but apart from that their policy is not up to date imo and won’t be able to solve many of today’s problems. At the same time I think that the majority of stage green people in Germany didn’t integrate some really important and healthy aspects of blue and orange. For example, it might be true that no culture is “better” than any other and that there are a lot of dangers to a view like that (and as you could imagine, Germans are very well aware of those dangers). But there are cultures which are more liberal and more tolerant than others and it is very important to keep that in mind. Another example: People who criticize the current migration policy or point out its dangers are almost always described as Nazis by most politicians, mainstream media and most people who are not AfD voters. There are even people who lost their jobs because they voted for the AfD. And even though the AfD has its problems and certainly has some questionable members, accusing them of being Nazis just adds to a toxic climate which makes peaceful and constructive discussions even more difficult in my opinion. So, in short, I think right-wing people in Germany need to realize the limits of their own thinking and start seeing that stage green, when embodied in a healthy manner, is not just toxic neo-marxism. At the same time green left-wing people in Germany need to realize the importance of fully embodying orange and blue and see that most right-wing people are not nazis but normal humans with needs and fears, some of them justified. And finally, both sides need to stop demonizing each other and start talking to each other like adults. So that’s what I want to do with my life: I want to mediate between those two sides and eventually help them rising up the spiral. So that’s my mission statement: “Helping people to understand each other’s views”. What I’d like to ask you now is: Which skills do you think are important to learn for having this kind of impact in the world? I’ve already come up with a few myself: · Getting a profound understanding of spiral dynamics; becoming a “spiral wizard” · Becoming really good in persuading other people · nonviolent communication Lastly, I’d like to hear your opinions on this life purpose. If you consider this to be total bullshit, PLEASE tell me. I really could use some second opinions on this because I know I can’t really be 100% objective when thinking about this stuff and I certainly still have many delusions my ego clings to. Alright. Thank you very much for taking the time and reading all of this! *The AfD is a right-wing conservative party in Germany. In my opinion you could compare them to the Republicans in the US. They are pretty much the only party which supports strict immigration laws and closed borders.

@Emerald Hi Emerald, thanks for your answer. I agree with you that this fight between “left” and “right” is a symptom of a deeper problem which needs a systemic approach. I also think that part of this deeper problem is the corruption in politics which caused the war. But I think that this is not the only reason. I think that my country “being naïve” is actually also a big reason why things happened the way they happened. When it comes to migration there are almost always push- and pull-factors. Push factors meaning reasons to leave your country like war, oppressive government, discrimination, or bad economy. Pull factors are the reasons why you migrate to certain countries. This includes safety, a liberal and tolerant culture, individual freedom, democracy, social welfare, a good economic situation and the possibility of getting a good education or a well payed job. In this particular instance, the push factors are, of course, the war in countries like syria, iraq or somalia, but also the overcrouded refugee camps in countries like Jordan. The pull factors that motivate people to go to countries like Germany, Austria and Sweden inlcude more or less all of the things I listed above. I think you can make a big change, not only in Europe, but also in the countries the refugees came from by calming down the political climate in Germany. If you decrease the benefits of going to Europe and, at the same time, better the reasons to stay in nearby countries like Jordan by funding the refugee camps there, a lot could be changed. I don’t want to make my Life Purpose about making half-ass compromises where everybody loses to a certain degree. I want to help people to understand the other side and stop demonizing them. At this time, at least in my opinion, political discussions in Germany (and basically in the whole world) are not about debating certain topics and letting the better argument decide. It’s about making the other side look as evil as possible. Logical arguments are mostly secondary. I think if left and right acually talked to each other without trying to “destroy” each other with arguments, they would realize that their actual needs and goals are not that different and that they only have different strategies for achieving them. I think that then, people would agree that it is better for everybody to instead of luring people to Europe and thereby destabilizing their countries, to actually help them at places which are fairly near to their homes so that they can build build their countries back up. I think that my Life Purpose goes in the right direction but thanks to your post I became conscious that it could be more yellow. To me right now this Life Purpose seems like the most important thing I could do with my abilities. But I’m sure it’s going to evolve and change over time as I move up the spiral. So, again, thanks for the advice J

Hi @Odysseus , thanks for your answer and thanks for challenging my views. You might have a point in that I might be too involved in victim mentality. I definitely see that a lot in right-wing or just migration-critical groups. It’s possible that I’m guilty of that too to a certain degree. But there are a few points which I’d like to make clear. I am not afraid of Muslims. But I understand how one could think that after reading my post. Some of my closest friends are Muslims. That’s one of the reasons why it took so long for me to change my opinion on this. I always thought: “Well, that’s the evidence that integration really works”. But what I didn’t realize at that time was that I was kind of biased because I went to a “high” Highschool*. I guess the Muslims who go to those schools (for the most part) come from families which are already integrated pretty well into society. So I only came into contact with Muslims who were integrated pretty well and didn’t have many extreme views. But there are many people who are not integrated in this society at all**. The problem is, you don’t meet them very often exactly because they are not integrated and almost only interact from people in their own culture. I’m not saying this to judge or condemn them in them any way. I think this is normal human behavior. If I moved to another country and there was a rather big German minority there, I would also tend to move to a neighborhood where many Germans are living. I don't think that green people have those views because they didn't properly integrate orange and blue. I think those are perfectly valid and healthy stage green opinions. And I share all of them. When I'm talking about revisiting blue and orange, I mean realizing stuff like that you can criticize certain beliefs prevalent in other cultures without demonizing and completely condemning those cultures, for example. Or that saying that a culture or group of people is less evolved (in terms of spiral dynamics for example) doesn't mean that the other group/culture is worse, anymore than saying that a 18-year-old is more evolved than a 12-year-old means that 12-year-olds are worse than 18-year-olds. (In my opinion it just makes a massive difference if a culture has gone through 500 years of Reformation, 300 years of Enlightenment and 100 years of Feminism or not. And I think it is extremely difficult to teach people this through a bunch of integration courses). But this was the kind of black-and-white- thinking I had at that time. I basically thought that all cultures were the same and anyone who criticizes other cultures is just racist. And I see this kind of thinking in many stage green people in Germany (of course it comes in degrees. I don't wanna make a straw man argument here). When I looked more deeply into stage orange and blue material I had a lot of realizations similar to the one I just talked about. I became a lot more open minded, politically grounded and less judgmental. In retrospect it kind of felt like entering a completely new stage of spiral dynamics (even though at that time I wasn't really familiar with that concept). I might have been not hard enough on right-wing views in my post. I agree that many right-wing people oversimplify things and easily condemn entire cultures, religions and groups of people. And in my opinion that also won’t get us anywhere. I also don’t like the idea of borders. In my opinion borders are just imaginary lines on maps and they become more and more obsolete. And I doubt that just closing the borders and letting nobody in is going to solve any problems. The only way I can think of for really solving those problems is supporting refugee camps in neighboring countries. Because, not only wouldn’t there be such a “culture shock” with all the problems that would bring with it. But also more people could be helped with less money because the costs of living are much higher in Europe than in Jordan for example. This means actual lives could be saved this way. I think that this is also more humane than motivating millions of people to go on a very dangerous journey which could potentially kill them (for example people drowning in the Mediterranean) and destabilizing the countries those refugees came from (only middle and upper class people have enough money to even afford going to Europe; the really poor people are the ones who will have to build their country back up alone). One of the central causes of the refugee crisis in 2015 was actually a massive cut in funding for refugee camps in Jordan which then forced millions of people to pack their stuff and travel to Europe. * In Germany we have three kinds of highschool which differ in difficulty. There’s the “Hauptschule” (least difficult), the “Realschule” (medium difficult) and the “Gymnasium” (most difficult). I went to a “Gymnasium”. **you can see this for example in the referendum started by the Turkish president Erdogan (it was basically about granting him much more power and essentially paving the way for a dictatorship) where German Turks (those who had a double-passport) were allowed to vote to. What I find scary, is that 63% of them voted for those changes. That’s even more than in Turkey itself where only 51% of people voted that way. It’s also important to consider that many of those German Turks already lived in Germany in the second or third generation. @Leo Gura Thank you very much for the advice, Leo. I never really thought about it that way. I guess I’ll need to contemplate this a lot.

Hey, For about one or two weeks now, every time I do Maha Mudra, I experience headache. It happens right after bending forward, when I direct the energy back down. The headache starts at Medulla and then spreads out until it permeates my entire head. I've been practicing Maha Mudra for more than a month now and at the beginning it all went smoothly. Has anybody else also experienced this? Is this normal? Or might I do something wrong?

I think it would be more helpful if you formulated it positively. E.g. "I'm self-actualizing because i genuinely want to have an amazing life" instead of "I'm self-actualizing because I am scared of not living fully". It's a small distinction but in my experience, acting out of fear can lead to self-destructive behavior. Also, from my personal experience, I can say that acting out of positive desire also leads to more fulfillment, more motivation and less self-judgement.

As a general rule of thumb, try to eat real food. Eat more natural and less processed food. Also you really don't need that much meat. One or two times a week should be enough. There are many plant based sources you could get your protein from which are way healthier (like nuts or pumpkin/sunflower seeds). Have you seen Leo's video about his vegetable soup? I've found it very convenient to just replace one meal every one or two days with this soup. You also might consider taking various vitamin supplements (vitamin D3 and k2 are very important) since the food we eat these days doesn't contain many of the vitamins that our bodies need.

Nuremberg, Germany

Hi, I'm currently stuck at the negative values release in the Life Purpose Course. I was able to sort out three negatives themes in my thinking. My problem is that with one of them, I wasn't able to determine any specific traumatic event which caused that theme. In fact, I don't think that there even is a specific event. So, for basically all my life, I have had this need for approval/low self esteem which is still leading me to seek approval from other people by being very agreeable, avoiding confrontation and just having a big fear of rejection. I think that a significant part of that has to do with my dad. When I was a child (from age 5 on) he really wanted me to play the piano and the violin. So he basically forced me to practice daily. Now, I am thankful that he did that because I'm pretty good at playing the piano now. But at the time, I hated it. So, my theory is that I practiced the piano to please my dad and therefore receive his approval and love. And because he didn't show his love that much more often, that was one of the only ways to get it from him. So I think, this paradigm: "Do what other people want from you and you will get their approval" sank into my subconscious mind over the years. And I really can't remember a specific traumatic event in that context. Of course we were sometimes fighting about it and multiple times I was on the brink of stopping playing the piano/violin. But every time, depending on my age, my dad either talked me out of it or simply didn't allow me stop. But I don't really see these fights as anything traumatic. I rather think that the sheer amount of instances led to this belief. So, I don't know how to eradicate this negative theme by using the negative values release because, as I said, I don't think there is any particular traumatic event attached to it. Should I just take one of the many fights/discussions me and my dad had and use this as a substitute for this traumatic event? Or is the negative values release just the wrong technique for dealing with that kind of stuff?