In 2008, I believed I was trapped in an abusive relationship. Believed the only way out was suicide. My third attempt was successful, clinically died. NDE brought me back, my life became mine. Reincarnation is a man made concept to help cope with death in my perspective. However, it is also true that all that can be imagined is permitted so your perspective can coincide and contradict while both are true and false...lol. You created your answers when created your questions.
It's your ego that wants the answers right away, so if you kill your body...you kill your ego. And never get answers. lol
Are you suffering? Are you able to see suffering while suffering without judging it? I know it can be hard to let go of suicidal ideations when they take hold, that energy is ancient. Be mindful and breathe, know you are safe, your are loved, all is well if your mind tells you otherwise.
From suffering comes immense peace is your not afraid to curiously look in real-time experience. Take care, friend! XOXO