uriel india

I think im too harsh with others especially because im working on myself. But also maybe because i grew up to a violent father and i got used to "catching" him failing by getting angry and violent. For some reason i'm always waiting for that moment where i "catch" other side saying: "Ha! you see what you do??!?! You fucked up!!" So yes, I might be right when i point out a mistake done by another person, But am i right to respond to it in the levels that i do? Where does compassion come into the game? Why can't i look at the other person and be more forgiving/patient/still when he/she makes that so called 'mistake'. You see... i consider myself highly intelligent, so usually im not 'wrong' when i point out a miss-behavior of another person, but because i respond to it from old habits and old wounds, I actually make it harder for people around me to work on themselves as i always show them that i see every little mistake they make. Can anyone share with me your thoughts? What is the root of all this? How can i actually try to change the way i respond to other people? Thanks.

So i was surprised when I wanted to write about my addiction to smoking both tobacco and pot, When I realized that "addiction" is listed under the "serious emotional problems" category in the forum. OK, so maybe i need to start realizing that my addiction is infact a serious emotional problem. So i smoke many cigarettes and at least 3-4 joints every day. The last year has been extra hard, had financial stress, a roller-coaster relationship, and a lot of depression, stress, and the beginning of recognizing the victim mentality that I have and taking first steps in trying to put some order into my life. So in the last year I tried several times to stop smoking and I keep stopping and then getting back to it after 2-3 weeks. It's amazing to see how I feel after a week of non-smoking... I can feel extremely dizzy, I feel anger rising inside of me over little day-by-day things, and I never seem to pass 3-4 weeks before I take one here and one there and before i know it I have a cigarette in my mouth 15 minutes after i wake up and sometimes a joint by 11am. I think I made some steps as for self-improvement but it's only my very-very-very beginning and I think that on one hand i'm committed to some new things like never before, on the other hand I think that i need to beware not to cling to those new additions to by life hoping that they are enough. In other words, It's a nice start that I've been meditating 20 minutes a day, a daily work-out, and practicing my guitar for an average of 2 hours a day..it's truly nice and it's the first time in my life that i'm making all those small commitments and i've been keeping it up for 2-3 months, but lets just say that i'm not there yet. So i broke up with my girlfriend after a year together, and that was a month ago, I started smoking 3 days later and been smoking since. I don't want the smoking to be covering deeper emotional issues that are trying to elevate up to the surface... (if that's even the truth). Sometimes i tell myself that tomorrow i'll stop, then I survive for 2-3 hours max. it's interesting to see that i used my relationship for trying to stop, and now that i'm alone- I feel like... weaker... like there will be no one there for me when it's going to start to get hard, but i know i'm not thinking right, and i know that I want to continue climbing up this self-actualization mountain and not to be a slave of addictions. Ideas? Thank a lot Uriel