Barry J

Indeed, half-baked enlightenment is a good description. It’s a nihilistic trap.

Ego acts in fear and an ego deals with fear by running away or with aggression. Watch how you feel when you act. Note when ego is acting to protect or to attack. You will eventually see how to act in the natural flow of life. When the ego is seen through and the non-dual is realised the question will be resolved but until then, follow the societal rules and conventions you feel that you resonate with. Deep down you know what is right and proper so act that way and get on with life and out of the intellectual games that are stealing your liberation.

@Anton Rogachevski Until you are fully realised, do what the ego least wants to do

@winterknight very nice. I like the description of the Gateless gate, I had not realised that I am practicing that way currently. Remembering to come back over and over and over again

@ardacigin I wasn’t ready for it. It didn’t stick for long and I dismissed it almost instantly. I have had more dramatic shifts since then though.

@Inliytened1 ok sure. I don’t have any issues with it in that context.

Spiral dynamics does not help and can hinder. It’s an elaborate and sophisticated thought system. That’s all.

Thanks Winternight, Agree with all of that. It seems there a direct correlation with the amount of letting go that can happen depending on how hard you are striving before you let go. In other words if you put in great energy into your practice to the point of bursting then it is easier to let go and the letting go is deeper. Crisis can be a great catalyst also. It is like running away from a villain and getting cornered in an alley way and seeing that there is no escape through action. You just give in and wait for the death. And then something interesting happens...

I try to mediate through the day and sit formally when I can for 30 minutes, 1 or 2 times per day. The most helpful thing for getting better at concentrating is to keep coming back to the mediation object ALL DAY between your tasks. Try to get to the point where you are not forgetting to check in to your mediation object for more than a few minutes. At the beginning it will be a matter of hours or many minutes but eventually you can train the mind to remember to check in. Do this over and over and your meditation will improve quickly. Then it becomes effortless until big feelings arise and after they resolve you can go back to checking in. Note that the ability to mediate well will often come in go in waves as past memories and conditions arise as a feeling of tension and anxiety that distracts your meditation. Be gentle during this period and allow the feelings to resolve themselves. Just watch them and accept them fully. Once they are resolved, which may be hours or weeks or months even, go back to the object and start again. It is a long and non-linear process. Rinse and repeat...

I had only a couple of months of mediation experience, had no idea what I thought realisation was and yet 6 days into the 10 day course the self vanished. It was precipated by a crisis including the pain of meditation and a feeling of hopelessness that came along with it. So in fact the devastation was the catalyst for the realisation. Note that it wasn’t the end but the beginning of a long process that is still unfolding

Overanalysis will lead to paralysis

It’s fun to play in the dream world. Why not?

@Arkandeus have you seen a doctor? Are you taking any medications for the anxiety?

@Shin less creativity is better. Your ego is already creating constantly, creating the “world”. Yes to Faith. Faith in normality and THIS There is nothing “beyond” THIS I hope that makes sense?

@Pure Imagination it is normal to feel the tension, it will pass. Keep going as you are and accept whatever arises