Consilience

Going off to the mountain and taking a dive into altered states of consciousness are equivalent in this example. Just more activity. So in this case Im talking about an enlightened being who feels an authentic call to go exploring but not into the mountains, but into the mind. Yeah you’re right, it’s 100% my ego but so is all activity. Every single action is a manipulation of survival and ego. Even meditation or camping. So that point is kind of irrelevant to what Im talking about. I was simply trying to point out that these altered states have their place. Treating them as sacred explorations into the inner workings of infinite intelligence and consciousness and facing whatever comes up, heaven or hell, with surrender and love is very different than the three listed points. There is an irreplaceable wisdom gained through those explorations that’s difficult to describe.

I agree. I also think there’s a biological component. Also it’s just straight up hard to approach hence why so few men do it, let alone women. What I disagree with is the passive approach being a viable option if you’re a single man wanting a relationship.

A great way to remain single. Women don’t approach.

Wrong. There is most certainly a personality type which is driven by the excitement of exploration, beings who are curious about the unimaginable ways in which consciousness can manifest and want to experience these manifestations for the joy of it no different than how an awakened individual may go on a camping trip in some far out forest or mountain. And just to clarify, at times the exploring can be quite painful and arduous. Exploring collective realms of suffering has nothing to do with pleasure states, although the fact of the exploring can be quite joyful.

Super interesting thread. Is there a difference between the practice/art of manifestation and loa? This is something Ive never been clear on. Also, if someone isn’t 100% nailed down on what it is they’re desiring, can they really tap into loa? Or could someone use the loa by patiently waiting for inspiration? Like the desire to discover one’s purpose or next steps on their journey.

Reading all of these excuses on a personal development forum makes me realize just how powerfully a man positions himself by cold approaching... and how rare it really is. If you can become fearless and confident with cold approaches, you’ve suddenly shifted into the top percentile of men.

@fridjonk Thank you. Yes I actually watched that video for the first time recently. When he first released it I felt like the information wouldn't be very helpful. After finally watching it, I reluctantly admitted to being in the first phase of these chapters and coming to peace with it. This letting go has felt like an integration and acceptance of this first phase. Thank you for sharing @Hans That's awesome dude and thank you. Good luck on your journey as well.

Day 1 - I give up trying to do this with only my own internal accountability. Ever since this LSD Trip I have felt in my bones that I need to quit my PMO habit. I've essentially eliminated weed and caffeine from my daily intake (very infrequent use), both of which have been quite problematic. I've implemented a daily yoga practice in addition to the 1 hour per day of meditation. I've changed my exercise routine to be less focused on lifting and instead a mixture between light cardio + resistance training which overall has been great. My nutrition is really starting to get dialed in. My life purpose feels like its building subtle momentum and I'm just being patient with myself and my own creative muse. So far the patience has been paying off. All in all, COVID has been great for self actualization work. Unfortunately, the one fucking behavior I haven't been able to change is jacking off to porn. Just to speak bluntly, the girls in these videos are fucking hot. I hate to sound like such a guy, but it's the truth. And as a guy who is very sexually attracted to females I feel an extremely strong compulsion to pmo. Yet when I'm being 100% honest, I DO feel a difference when I abstain vs. when I'm pmo'ing, even if once a week. Despite this compulsive pull and strong attraction, there is a very strong calling to quit. I see a vision of what kind of relationship is possible without the unspoken shadow of me masturbating to other women other than my partner. The subtle incongruency with my attraction for a real woman, real sex and not pixels on a screen in fake acted scenes. As someone who's had plenty of real sex and plenty of real pmo sessions, real sex is WAY more powerful and satisfying than pmo. PMO is a complete waste and does nothing to help me in any way. It's pretty much the epitome of hedonism and short term pleasure ignoring long term consequences. Benefits I've observed from abstinence: More energy Calmer around women I find attractive More motivation to pursue life purpose More Physically Attracted to more women Less monkey mind in meditation More eye contact with women in public More comfortable with eye contact in general My "aura" feels more aligned (I'm aware this sounds new age as fuck) Harder erections Higher sex drive Better workouts More creativity More focus and motivation Less anxiety or nervous around strangers Overall more pleasurable sober state Current longest streak is 22 days which is pretty pitiful tbh. This has turned into one of those high leverage techniques that I can no longer brush of the benefits as being placebo. I've relapse enough and observed very carefully to know these benefits are not placebo for me. One of the interactions with large amounts of meditation, yoga, and porn is that as the awareness of the mind and body has grown, the effects correlated with certain behaviors are seen more clearly and consciously. I've tried to justify porn use and pmo based on some of the other opinions on this forum, but for me there is a significant difference in conscious state when I've accumulated about a week's worth of vital energy from not PMO'ing. This observation can no longer be denied. Moreover, I trust that this intuitive pull I've felt both while tripping on psychedelics as well as just contemplating the habit sober is from a place of self-honesty and growth. The truth is I don't want to be addicted to porn. I'm tired of the addiction. I'm tired of feeling like an addict and failing to reach the 90 day milestone. Benefits or not, this addiction is coming from a place in my mind that lacks awareness. I'm tired of feeling its shadow, but being unable to understand where the lack is coming from. I'm sick of the unconsciousness. I'm tired of my integrity being broken once a week as I fight to change. I'm tired of indulging in a habit that feeds into an awful industry that mistreats and preys upon both women and men. I'm tired of supporting the of trauma being produced by this industry. I'm tired of hiding amongst the collective consumption and acceptance of this shit. I have no desire to contribute to such systems. The truth is I want to change. I'm starting this journey as a way to document my steps to recovery. Clearly my own internal integrity is not powerful enough to quit which is disappointing. Yet what else is there to do other than to finally admit and accept it. I hope that by being public with these struggles and vision that I'll be able to finally commit. I will be updating this journal daily for the next 90 days. No clue if I'll keep going after that point, but for now, this is day 1. The content of this journal will be spontaneous and whatever I feel like sharing, pmo related or not, but what will remain consistent is checking in and counting the days up to reach the 90 day threshold. Overall the most important part is checking in for accountability purposes.

If we truly realize there is no self, then we would truly understand there is a self. If this statement were experienced directly, we would be enlightened. The whole world is an illusion. There is literally nothing here. We are just an energetic, quantum field that's popping into and out of experience moment to moment and even that is saying WAY too much about the substrate of reality. If we look deeply, we'll eventually discover our direct experience is an infinite field of nothing. When we think of this fact in the context of self-actualization, we eventually will also see that the utter emptiness of this experience is precisely what provides us the space for our most self-actualized individuality. To merge with this emptiness, to face and embody it completely would be to be living your most authentic, free, fearless, and powerful self. So quite interestingly and paradoxically, to be with nothing is to be with your little, illusory self. This unity is facilitated by an absolute surrender of will to the flow of life. The most authentic expression of who we are as individuals comes from the complete annihilation of our separation with Nothing, Truth, God, or perhaps most accurately, Love.

This! Do it man!

holy shit that's funny. I recently went 30 days no fap. While I felt a shit load of energy, I actually started becoming manic with the excess energy. Until someone has a clearly defined purpose, and vision, all of that excess energy is useless. If you're trying to determine your life long vision, I don't think having no fap energy is a good thing. I actually think more clearly and effectively without a shitload of sexual energy constantly tugging at me to be released. That all being said, good luck OP. I wish you all the best if this is the path you're committed to.

+1

Im glad it resonated ?

I resonate with both of these yeah... Even though I definitely “get it” to some degree, it’s a work in progress for sure. It’s amazing how much there is to let go of, and how unconscious we are of all the things we’re still attached to. And then even once we see the attachments, actually surrendering them is another beast. However, the fact that the surrendering/letting go is seen at all is a powerful step towards authenticity ime.

? @Javfly33 the degree to which you can let go is the degree to which god will deliver. Worth noting, letting go doesn't mean you stop contemplating or stop exerting an intention to become conscious.

I feel a release of tension and emotions in my heart. This was powerful, thank you ??

Agree 100%. The more Ive tripped, the more sensitive Ive become to a quality of experience I can only refer to as “the energy body.” It feels like an aura or something... Ive had this intuitive pull to slow down with the tripping and focus more on integration and grounding using manual practices such as hatha yoga, a little qi gong, spending time in nature, and of course normal meditation. This slowing down and larger focus on manual practices has seemed to smooth out and settle my energy body. At the very least Ive felt more grounded and embodied in the body, as well as feeling more in touch and integrated with my rather aggressive tripping when I first started using psychs. While I believe no other technique beats psychedelics in its ability to facilitate insight, they also must be used carefully and responsibly to get the most out of them.

Thoughts are quite literally true and false simultaneously. This is what is observed in my experience. I'm speaking about the concept of "Anekantavada" in Jainism which Leo brings up in his Relativity part 1 video. (Where is part 2??) Essentially, yes some thoughts can be more or less true than others, but only relative to a certain context of axioms. I don't know how to point this out in your experience other than to say quite definitively that it is there, while also acknowledging that this is a false statement as well. Why what I'm saying is false is because again, all thoughts can only be true relative to a context of meaning. This is incredibly complex, strange loopy, and paradoxical by all sense of the word. All I can say is we're both communicating about equally true and false aspects of reality.

From my pov, trying to label thoughts true or false is actually to label thoughts to thoughts. Thoughts can be true only relative to other thoughts, or false relative to other thoughts. In philosophy these are called axioms. The actuality, the “is’ness”, the being of thoughts, cannot be false. It is just what is. @Farnaby There seems to be a difference between trying to witness “the witness” and then the witnessing which is always taking place. “The witness” I find to be a thought, the actuality of witnessing is just... what is haha.

@The0Self yep +1 to The Mind Illuminated. Was enormous for getting momentum with meditation. Ive found Jhana states to be very psychedelic but with a distinctive clarity and stability Ive yet to feel while tripping. There’s a groundedness I havent felt with psychedelics that only ‘Being’ in my ‘natural’ state has provided. It’s like psychedelics are too energetically active to really feel grounded and at peace. However, the insights, states, and experiences accessed have also played a pivotal role with meditation. It’s as though the meditation allows for an energetic integration of these absurdly powerful experiences. I can actually embody and live what the psychedelic shows rather than it being a fading memory. Interestingly, I feel that my psychedelic trips go deeper because of my meditation practice. Somehow being able to stay mindful and present during the journey helps with going deeper.

Awakening using psychedelics only is like farming using Monsanto soil practices. There are some key skills *and* effects meditation develops which helps with integrating and embodying these peak experiences. One without the other loses out on their massive synergetic benefits.

+1 I can see how the video may be hitting at stage coral for sure. It's a very powerful piece of art.

Hey everyone - Due to personal reasons, I will be discontinuing this journal. There are a couple of reasons for this, but the primary one is this - ultimately this journey is a journey of surrender and lately I've felt a very powerful pull to continue to just let the Fuck go. I'm not really sure why, or where it's leading me. Lately it's felt like I'm regressing in all major areas of life. It's like I just can't think or see clearly and no amount of meditation, solitude or introspection is helping. It's as if there's this vast fog covering the future. All the plans and ambitions I had pre-covid feel decimated. Yet despite this whirlwind of confusion and deep deep deep unsettlement, the one thing I've felt is the need to just let go. I just have to trust this intuition and be patient, and trust that when I'm ready to start building the next phase of life, the path will be revealed, the people I need to meet will come into my life, and the struggle I'm feeling now will click into place. These streaks, while effective from a certain pov, have served their purpose for this time. I will continue to pursue consciousness, personal development, and keep doing the inner work, but just on my own for now. Maybe I'll start another journal again, maybe not.

Thank you. I think this is a good, practical way to start. Less resistance to the work I'm doing now, more concentration and thus satisfaction. This is really powerful advice. Yeah actually more impulse and less strategy is what I seem to be lacking.... I guess the issue is I don't even see what my next move is, but perhaps that's not really the point. The point is to get more in touch with my gut and impulse. You're spot on. All of this is mind, it's just like... in such a powerful state right now. Even when I am in a state of no mind during meditation, I seem to lack any connection with that impulsion. However hearing you specifically call it out... and point blank describe the dynamics of mind here. This is very helpful. Thank you. No standard state university in the USA. It was the biggest state university though and thus the most expensive. I guess I make that equation because the 9-5 I have right now I got through a very very unusual set of circumstances. I don't think I would be able to land another job like this with as many benefits or security. It has been one of the biggest breaks, streaks of "luck" I've gotten from the universe since the diagnosis. To give it up in pursuit of a business feels like I'd be giving up a huge blessing. You make a fair point though. Business would probably be the fastest way to pay off the loans. Really appreciate you taking the time to link this exercise. Thank you again.

Exactly what the title says… I am at a total loss guys and gals. I feel really trapped and cut off from my masculine core. It feels like there is a deep rooted sense of fear related to not following a typical 9-5 job with health benefits, like I'm gun shy from really living on the edge of life, skating that abyss of failure that's always possible when going into business or living your dreams. It's as though growing up in the society and with my younger self's poor financial decisions has created a wound in the part of me that wants to go out and penetrate the world with my energy. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 2 years ago, 6 months after discovering Actualized.org as well as the pursuit of consciousness work, but also after nearly finishing a 4 year degree and taking out $100,000 dollars in student loans. The last month of my 4 years in University is when I was diagnosed. I believe my illness manifested in response to the unconscious dread, regret, and confusion centered around my loans. I remember at 18 being really lost in life, unsure about what to do. I ended up going to a big 4 year university because it was where my girlfriend was going and it was where my dad went to school, so it felt like it would make him happy. I was also really good at school (not as good at standardized tests hence no scholarship money + parents made too much money to get government financial aid) so it felt like a natural next step in life. But if I'm being completely honest, I think I also went because it felt like the 'safe' thing to do somehow. Despite the decision looking logisitically horrible on paper, I'd been subconsciously drilled since childhood that a University degree was the only way to be successful in life. Despite this lack of rational thinking, strategic planning, and emotional self awareness as an 18 year old, I now am living a life based on these past actions while also managing a chronic illness which requires daily constant awareness and attention. This situation also means I need enough monthly income to pay off my loans as well as pay for expensive medication and health insurance. Being 100% transparent, there's a part of me that's terrified of trying to make it out in the world of business because I fear that failure could mean my health declining as well as being unable to afford to pay back the ridiculous amount of my student loans. Yet it feels like this is also a threshold guardian on the Hero's Journey, a limiting belief that can only be overcome by just taking a leap. The difference between my leaping and an otherwise healthy human without crippling debt feels momentous though. I truly do not know how to act from a space of pure fearlessness. It feels such a state is demanded of me if I am to really pursue a life of passion and life purpose. It feels like the ability to even vision is wounded and scattered because of these two variables. I also am living with my parents and can without a doubt feel their unconsciousness having an affect on my mind. I am not blaming them for my failures, nor am I trying to shirk responsibility, however I would be lying if I said their influence wasn't felt. I want that fearlessness. I want to somehow be able to look at the possibility of failure, the possibility of my health's painful decline, or slow accumulation of loan interest and shrug in response, knowing that there's nothing to pursue in life other than to chase one's passion and purpose, even if it means death. That is what it means to be a truly actualized human. To be yourself without fear. If anyone on this forum has any input or anything to share, I would be very grateful. Thank you, ~ Consilience