Consilience

1) 4 years 2) maybe 40-50. Meditation has become much more powerful/productive than frequent tripping. Will most likely still use, but in a much more sacred, reverent, medicinal context. 3) Daily. Used to be 1 hour per day. Now 2 hours per day usually. Also have been going to lots of meditation retreats. 4 in the last 14 months, about to attend another 8 day retreat. 4) Dramatically, indescribably better. But also a work in progress. 5) Wherever you are on the path is an expression of absolute perfection. It‘s difficult to describe if one feels they’re still a beginner or before one has really seen the nature of self. But if I could go back, Id want to travel with more compassion, patience, and relaxation, knowing exactly where I am is an equal expression of the divine as where Im going as a result of this work. Second insight - Eventually the work happens on its own, purely spontaneously. If you quit, or ramp up intensity, both are derived from Truth. However, I would recommend keep going, keep going, keep going. Full buddhahood… the world is in desperate need of “buddhas” and though everything is perfect, the compassion it takes to see our own perfection may also be applied towards all sentient beings. If for no other reason than to alleviate the suffering of others and this planet while we’re in the dream, keep going. This work has a harmonizing effect not only on yourself, but towards all lives you interact with. It is precisely because there is no one at all and our infinite interconnectivity that the work is able to radiate out externally. (By work I really mean meditation.)

Im not suggesting that necessarily, no. Im simply saying that if one is seeking from the orientation that they are a separate self, it is not actually the nature of seeking. Seeking energy happens utterly spontaneously, without a self, and as a function of the whole. Im also suggesting that it is only after the nature of seeking is realized that the real work of “seeking” begins. At that point it is like surrendering or “letting go” as it’s seen there is no one to hold onto or act. As @Fearless_Bum mentioned in the OP, we simply relax into the flow of how things are. And if seeking energy persists as the relaxation is recognized, that’s what Im referring to as having your cake and eating it too. As for next steps… what worked in my experience was just an obsessive amount of contemplation, meditation, and psychedelic usage. On a meditation retreat I basically hit what in Buddhism is called stream entry and life has been radically recontextualized since then. Some teachers swear effortful, deliberate meditation and seeking is not only useless, but reinforces a sense of self. This claim, however, was not my experience. My experience was the opposite. The pressure of seeking eventually popped and I saw the nature of self and world. Id say follow your heart and the desire for truth and the compassion to alleviate your personal suffering not just for your sake, but for the sake of all beings. Between these, your intuition on what to do pretty much can’t fail you. Id also suggest though when in doubt, practice more, find a way to he happy with nothing but your own being, ie meditation. Hopefully this response helps in some way.

@OneIntoOne Fair enough. Good day to you as well. ??

@Shambhu Thank you, sincerely. And I actually appreciate you using technical yoga language. A few questions that come to mind 1) What do you think drew you to this form of yoga vs. a more buddhist oriented path? 2) What you’re describing with the kriyas I interpret as massive amounts of purification taking place. Im curious, are you sympathetic to the teachers/teachings that say all of the purification is not needed, what is true is already true right now and therefore requires nothing but the realization. It’s interesting your original guru worked with Charles Berner. Peter Ralston also worked directly with Berner, but is very much in the position that enlightenment is not process oriented whatsoever. You either get it, or you don’t. If I tried to make a case for purification, he’d probably laugh at me and brush it off. So yeah just curious what you’re thoughts on this topic are. 3) From your report and response, it sounds like your main meditation technique at this point is full on surrender. It sounds very similar to shikantaza, from the soto zen tradition. Would this be an accurate interpretation of your “technique”, or am I wildly off the mark…

It’s all ego dude. This post was one big ego flex. Especially the whole “Ive realized it! But not gonna share… “ attitude. If you want to help the forum, help. These kinds of posts and spiritual dick measuring contests without the dick pick are pretty… dickish, unhelpful, imo at least. I say all this with metta though. May you be free from suffering and truly happy man.

Tbh man Im not sure what this has to do with my post. I wonder if you’d believe me if I said Ive experienced telepathy on an absurdly high dose mushroom trip…

It’s not the state itself that is anymore valid or not valid. It’s the obliteration of the ego mind’s interpretative mechanisms that allows one to see direct experience in a new way. Yes the content of direct experience is radically augmented on DMT, but specifically, one’s relationship to direct experience also shifts. Such a radical shift in one’s relationship to experience creates the possibility of insight into the nature of experience typically unavailable due to the highly biased, conceptually marred and tangled mess that is the ego mind. From this new space of direct observation (rather than biased ego mind interpretation), whether from a high dose DMT trip or rigorous meditation, insights into the nature of life or death can arise. One may see that nothing is actually dying upon physical death and just as profound, nothing was actually born to give rise to “life.” “Life” is nothing but an enormous, interconnected flow of experience; to believe this flow is somehow contingent upon the physical body is a misperception of direct experience originating from the faulty perceptions of ego mind. This ego mind being highly biased due to the fear of death and pain, addictions to pleasure of various kinds, and essentially addicted to the web of conceptual activity giving rise to suffering. The extent of this conceptual bias is unimaginably enormous, often not taken seriously until one has it ripped away either through psychedelics or high level meditation. Once the biased conceptual activity is released, one begins to observe direct experience more objectively. Through such objectivity, the actuality of what models of reincarnation point towards become increasingly clear. To reiterate, this objective observation is not about changing the content of one’s experience (“how is a DMT trip more valid?” is a misunderstanding of the true value of DMT trips), but the context in which experience is experienced. Such recontextualizations provided by DMT are completely independent of the contents of DMT. Until such objective observation of direct experience is seen, it is unlikely reincarnation will make sense, even conceptually. The real treasure, as it has always been, is the experience, or the truth.

This is an extremely interesting journal. I've been meditating 2 hours per day for the past year as well as having gone on 4 meditation retreats, 9, 11, 8, and 14 day retreat and it's been an absolutely absurd and wild journey. In some ways, very similar to some of the things you're describing and in other ways, very different. I read in another forum post you said this in reference to your meditation practice: I'm curious if you'd be willing to share how things are different now, how your practice is going, etc. Either way, thank you for sharing these reports. Really cool to see another serious practitioner on this forum.

It actually isn't about a self being preserved in a soul and leaving the body. It's about the actuality of one's direct experience, which is that experience rises and falls moment by moment by moment. Moreover, this rising and falling exists independently of the physical body which can be verified by 1) observing there is no physical body through extremely high levels of mindfulness, 2) observing the arising and passing of experiences in dream states where there is no body, or 3) taking psychedelics in which all experiential evidence of the body ceases. In any event, experience arises independently of the physical body and there is no separate self. Reincarnation, therefore, would simply be the continuation of this arising and falling of experience, moment by moment, within a seemingly new set of conditions. Yet even the distinction between sets of conditions that would give rise to the illusion of one self dying and a new self being born through the continuation of some kind of "soul" is itself empty. The idea that incarnation is a one and done deal is actually more aligned to the false perception of a separate self, however this relationship is so deeply hard-wired, most will not see it, even those that buy into the idea of reincarnation or those who have seen the illusion of self.

I would gently suggest this is a misperception of direct experience. When it's recognized there is no one seeking, the seeking can then happen on autopilot, purely spontaneously and without the need for any specific answers, conclusions, or progress as a result of such seeking. Counter intuitively, this lack of attachment out of the clear seeing of a lack of self is the most powerful space for seeking to occur and "spiritual progress" to emerge. At this point, all progress is meaningless, just reality dancing with itself, like a flower spontaneously blooming into its highest beauty for no reason at all, yet there is a blooming and there is an emergence of the flower's "actualization." The art of seeking without seeking should be every serious sage's goal, it just demands the dropping of all goals to truly grock lol.

Do you recognize that the idea that there isn't reincarnation takes just as much, if not more inference than the idea of reincarnation? Again, "incarnation" is already proved to have happened once. Seriously inquire, why wouldn't it happen again? If we know it can happen (your life is living proof of the possibility of incarnation), what possible reasoning could you use to assert it won't happen again? In many ways, reincarnation takes less faith or inference than the idea that physical death is the permanent end.

Confused because part of the assessment is about parental upbringing. But if we’ve healed our relationship with parents even though we felt insecure *as children* these answers are contributing to a non-secure attachment style.

I learned how to relax into my existential curiosity, and seeking. I learned how the intense movement of rigorous meditation, contemplation, and “progress” on the path was non other than relaxation. I literally get to have my cake and eat it too. Incredible.

? It's utterly insane how deep the path actually goes and just what is possible without any psychedelic intervention and instead, with enormous personal practice. One thing Leo's completely misunderstood about meditation is that its results are non-linear in nature. The first 5 years of one's practice will look radically different than one's last 5 years of practicing, assuming equal amounts of practice are taking place. At some point in one's path, there is a seemingly exponential take off in meditation's results. Once true exponential take off has happened, yeah DMT levels of consciousness without DMT are entirely possible. Of course that's blasphemy around these parts.

At the most basic level, if a dream popped up once, why couldn't it happen again? I mean seriously... What is more likely, the 0.00000000(to infinity)1% chance that you managed to spring into existence and it's a one and done deal, or that the same mechanism where you spontaneously appeared could happen again? There's also apparently objective data giving authority to the idea of reincarnation - children recalling specific details of past lives, or how their last life ended and the researchers being able to verify that information. Overall, my thinking is why wouldn't it happen again if it already happened once? At a higher level, there is no reincarnation. The flow of experience just flows. To suggest there was ever a "life" that was "incarnated" to begin with is a misperception of perception. Therefore, when the physical body dies, this says nothing about the flow of experience already present and the fact that this flow of experience is utterly independent of the physical body. Nothing actually dies, just changes.

Can vouch. This is the most potent form of vipassana I've ever found. It's extremely simple and extremely effective, especially when practiced in a retreat setting.

Unfortunately, this forum seems to in general dismiss the importance of embodiment. Once you have all the intellectual answers or even experienced the answers on psychedelics, there’s literally nothing else to do except integrate, embody, and bask in the understanding through living life. In my view anyways.

This perspective can be skillfully balanced with learning how to investigate and see the same fundamental truth even in a state of extreme fatigue. During my first vipassana retreat, there was an all night sitting phase called “Yaza” Around 8 hours of sitting throughout the night and into the morning. It fundamentally transformed my relationship with meditating through fatigue. Turns out, when one can apply enough mindfulness to the sensations of sleepiness, the sleepiness transforms into a flowing spaciousness. More accurately stated, sleepiness is experienced without the pushing and pulling of craving and aversion, which allows one to investigate its true nature. However, for a novice meditator this probably isn't a good strategy. Learning how to amp up mindfulness or “conscious power” to dispel the sleepiness is a very powerful skill. For an advanced meditator, learning how to work with sleepiness without manipulating it away is even more powerful. Sometimes life will present us conditions where we have no choice but to experience extreme fatigue, whether because of life events demanding sleep deprivation, physical illness, or as we age and our mind’s naturally dull, fatigue is an inescapable phenomena of nature. Can we still find peace, happiness, and truth within the fatigue, as the fatigue, exactly as it’s appearing? We can, but it requires we investigate these perceptions directly.

You’re lost brother. Truth is actuality, not excluding pain or pleasure, sorrow or happiness, gain or loss… Find the truth in all experience and recognize pain does not equal suffering. If you’re only thinking and conceptualizing over spirituality, yes complete nonsense. If you’re actually applying the concepts of Actualized.org through practice, completely different. Spirituality is not about using techniques to destroy the mind’s ability to feel negative emotions. Not sure where you’re getting this false idea. Most likely a misrepresentation, an unconscious projection and criticism from a lack of serious direct experience. Spirituality at the deepest level is about penetrating into the truth of phenomena, all appearance including negative emotions. Further, negative emotions are vital teachers, and sources of introspective awareness into the unconscious movements of mind and misalignments with one’s most authentic alignment. Considering where you’re at though, stick with just realizing negative emotions and positive emotions are held in existential equilibrium when true spirituality is practiced. “Maybe there is only hedonism and all truth and meaning is a lie” To the one lost in concept, samsara, and seduced by Mara, yes 100%. Complete and utter delusion nonetheless.

What energetic practices have you done alongside semen retention?

What a high quality post!

Agreed but the problem with weed is that the after effects are quite bad. It blurs and dis-harmonizes the mind. I used to be a daily user as well and it was only until I went on my first meditation retreat did I see the subtle damage it creates. At this point for myself, the lows are generally not worth the high. Ive still occasionally used and of those occasional uses, very few sessions are ultimately satisfying because of the dulling, after effects.

To directly address the title’s question - It has helped, immensely. I was diagnosed with a pretty vicious autoimmune disease about 6 months after I learned about enlightenment and sort of held that I could, in fact, become enlightened myself. The disease routinely causes physical and mental pain, but through a very dedicated meditation practice and all the other activities (psychedelics, contemplation, reading, youtube, some yoga, etc) Ive completely transformed my relationship with it and hold it as a gift. Moreover, spirituality has made life so much more beautiful and fulfilling. Ive also really busted my ass with meditation though to a degree I rarely see others attempt. I believe this has played a critical role. Is life perfect? No. Am I always emotionally experiencing happiness? No. But these conditions are not the true fruits of the path anyways. A radical recontextualization is what we’re after. I like Shinzen's explanation of how mindfulness increases happiness in the long term: F - Fulfillment of the senses. When we have a ‘complete’ experience of pleasure and pain, both befome fulfilling. In this sense, mindfulness is the practice of having a complete experience of whatever is arising in experience. I - Insight into the nature of self. As we continue to practice, we come to experientially understand what we are at deeper and deeper levels. We also come to see the perfection of this moment as it is. There is a place for cultivated improvement (slowly increase mindfulness, or “consciousness state increases”) while also recognizing the primordial perfection of reality. Holding both truths as complimentary rather than contradictory is the true spiritual path. R - Relief from suffering. Turns out, when we apply mindfulness to our apparent suffering, the suffering dissolves or is seen to have never actually existed. We untangle perception until we see the truth of perception. if pain x resistance = suffering then (pain x resistance)/mindfulness = relief M - Mastery. When we apply the skills we’re building through meditation towards our lives, we begin to approach life more masterfully. This applies both broadly, and specifically for skills we’re attempting to buikd such as programming, public speaking, making music, writing, etc. S - A spirit of service. We learn that when we work on ourselves, we work on the word. When we help the world, we help ourselves. Experiencing this actuality rather than a fluffy philosophy are radically distinct.

I never said otherwise and even highlighted the importance of recognizing alternative motivations such as excitement, curiosity, desire, etc. Craving is the real beast. If you think I’m advocating the inability to enjoy altered states, please re-read what I wrote. I don’t feel I’m projecting anything, just sharing my perspective as someone with a lot of experience with casual psychedelic drug use and altered states.

Chronically or no, the potential for using a casual approach as a means of escape seems high. You’re your own best authority so it’s your call, of course. These matters of the underlying mechanisms behind behavior are incredibly subtle, delicate, and often difficult to discern. Perhaps casual use is driven by a pure excitement and curiosity, perhaps it’s from an underlying dissatisfaction with sobriety, or maybe both? No matter what, rock on man. I wish you fulfilling and sacred travels. ??