Mu_

It may be part depression and part retraction from your spiritual work. you just may be in a phase. I can relate to some of this stuff in my past. I dont know if this helps, but instead of looking at having to change yourself in some grand way or fix a problem, just stop your self from doing shitty things, like junk food, weed, drinking, cigarettes, prostitutes. I mean if you don't really feel like doing anything, then don't, its your life, but dont do things that are destructive instead, unless you feel like doing those and if you do then ask yourself why those things? If you keep questioning in this manner you may reveal a destructive desire, and thats something you can work with. Thats a place you can maybe make some new changes, if you want, if not, its up to you. But dont let it be a strange mystery of why your doing it to yourself/its happening by itself. Maybe you'll need to take some more steps at this point, but atleast find out whats going on inside.

Sounds like just energy movement and release, nothing to worry about. Unless it gets extreme and painful, it should be fine.

@Jack River Also are you on this forum learning still, teaching, a little of both? How would you say your quality of life has changed as a result of these understandings. Would you say you've become a kinder person and more connected with people?

These observations are of a enlightened mind and if being lived, is from everything I've read and experienced is what is referred to as Freedom, real freedom. If you have read nothing and came to this somehow, consider yourself lucky....I guess lol, or fortunate, although all just is Self we rest within and as.... Would you say that within any of your awakening God/Self/Creation understanding has been sparked? Like something consumes you in a way that is undeniable and its pure love.... Not to sound esoteric, but its the best analogy I can think of. Peoples awakenings and differences fascinate me.

Ya we seem to have fundamental differences in word selection. At times you seem to be speaking about almost the exact same thing I am, and at others perhaps a little different.

I think emanyalpsid is pointing to something I was trying to point to as well (again disclaimer, if your happy remain, but if your interested in stretching understanding, keep eyes and ears open). The notion you tell yourself that your seeing from unconditioned awareness is still an idea you believe. To let go of this is I guess to be more in the unknown. For a while when I let this in it opened another layer of being free, because there is less that was being upheld, controlled within. This letting go lead to more letting go and the recognition you shared in a post above that you can't really ever claim to be anywhere, fixed/not fixed, so to claim enlightenment is kinda silly (only reason I ever said I was in 1 post ever was because seomeone asked and I hoped that saying yes would help others trust more, but its a double edge sword to make a claim with that word, you repel people to, and honestly my awakening process is not going to be the same for others, everyone needs life, other teachers, self inquiry, time, no-time). Then for what ever reason I can't explain, one day, boom I woke up to who I really was and who we really all are, Self/God and its remained, wasn't expecting it, didn't believe it was ultimately real prior. Seemed like after 18 years of seeking, facing death, tons of self idea's, observations, connecting with spiritual teachers and hearing them and feeling their presence, connecting with spirits, drug experiences, and a culmination of the last few months, the last thing that seemed to be the final step was waking up to a knowing/memory of my original source, like the literal experience we can all relate to, one moment we dont know where our keys are that were placed somewhere, and then all the sudden you go oh ya they were right here, in my pocket, how silly, AND the memory of doing it is there with it. It was like remembering being Self/God before birth.

@Aquarius Thank you for sharing. Ya relationships can be like that. Both parties have unresolved emotional stuff that always complicates, but this is not a negative, its the potential for both parties to grow. If your into actualizing and he's not, and you guys are in constant on again off again, maybe its best just to recognize that and move on, no blame to either party. There's probably someone out there who is also looking to grow as well, and may be a better match for you, I dont know. This is your heart, not mine. You can still make efforts to take responsibility for your emotional stuff even if your partner doesn't but thats really hard, really really hard.

In this incarnation, no. But I could see the potential thrill of it in testing ones self out in a due or die situation, or a challenge to one self. I use to be vegitarian for 3-4 years + vegan for almost 2 years. Now I 25% meat and 75% vegitarianism, sourced from humanely raised.

the mind-body is effected by its environment. Often what happens when awakening happens or progress towards awakening (although this is a illusion of sorts) what your pointing to as the mind-body is effected since awaking up is the same as environmental change, like moving from a violent ghetto to a more tranquil suburb in america. Psychological effects are going to natural happen, since "environmental" triggers/threats have disappeared. So awakening to Self is from a mind-body standpoint a moving to a new location. You see, generally environment is interpreted by mind-body as you use it in a "I'm here", and theres an internal environment to me and an external one called outside (tree's, birds, humans, etc). Awakening turns this on its head and distinctions are blurred, stripped and one can see ultimately there is no outer/inner (along with this awakening there is generally new truths and understanding that strip away psychological suffering as well, generally cultivated through spiritual practice/inquiry). All these factors are a radical moving to a new environment from the Mind-Body stand point. This new environment has new qualities or "new residents" called bliss, expansiveness, calm, thrill, freedom, ease, love, joy. The Mind-Body (personality) then in this apparent new environment are often effected as a result.

Theres more then enough room in the Self for everyone to have their opinion on this.

All of the above and then some.

Often not.

Maybe you get it, maybe you don't, maybe you want to get it, maybe you don't, either way its fine, theres no "out there requirement" you have to, but as a seeker of truth, I imagine its what your trying to understand, or maybe I've misunderstood. And maybe its not my place, so I'll leave it at that.

As much as I've been able to follow, its in line with many of the same understandings I've encountered as well. But I do admit some of your usages of words/metaphors and analogies you've shared, I have a hard time following sometimes. Its no fault, I get told the same thing sometimes. I guess as a soul recognizing a soul searching for and trying to understand this whole thing called "....." I've been trying to highlight a particular nuance to you that maybe is not my place to.. There is only 1 thing and your nonthing and my idea's and all our idea's on this forum and realizations are "It".

So are you actually a surfer? Your dudes, brah's, profile picture and other use of language makes me think of stereo typical surfer.

I'm in the same boat.

Not that its that big of a deal, because if you truely are where you describe it can be pretty perfect, nothing needs to change. However in the pursuit of truth and who and what you are. The place your referring to as ultimate is only 1 vantage point of all the infinities views, it is not itself the ultimate. I dont think its possible to have a view that is simultaneously experiencing the infinity of all views from their vantage point at all times with all knowledge and all past and all destiny included. This is what I referee to as Gods view and its unreachable and unknowable. Self understanding of this I believe can free you as the "i" and into understanding i-I and letting go of pointing to a state/location/idea of god/infinity/awareness/nonduality and into a continuous recognition that God is never not the case.

Am'ness is still a quality

Neti Neti, even more then what your pointing to.

Yes, well said. And the totality of what you are sharing is you as well. There was never a moment or event in which it was not you.

@SOUL "Contemplate your own experience, couldn't it be said that the deepest and clearest insights come from those moments when the clarity of the unattached awareness is perceiving reality without the veil of self identity obscuring it? How can we have genuine and clear insight with the conditioned self identity filtering our perception? So it seems that attachment doesn't lead to insight but it is liberation, unattached perception, that leads to insight." Definitely moments where that happened. But also ones in which there was confusion happening simultaneously from what I believe your referring to as the self identity. Waking up isn't bound to any particular set of circumstances, emotional, though, feeling of "I" or its cessation, bliss happening, calm happening, love happening, oneness feeling. These all can be metaphorical pointers to the remembrance and understanding of what you are.

@SOUL Ya I may have not seen that you touched upon multiple means of enlightenment, if I recall you were stressing the importance of the whole point of liberation being the actual freeing from suffering. I think your awakening experience you shared is great and the insight you had was powerful, that the path itself can be a distraction. I even made a video on that. However and I go back and forth on this, the path/path/religion may serve up to a point to where that recognition is useful. Because honestly if you like cutting away all the bullshit and unnecessities of waking up, even the idea that there is existential yearning that cuts away peace and contentment can be a barrier or prevention. One can still get caught up in the seeking of finding peace and contentment. Realization is not that.

I loled, at "be closed, I dont give a shit, I just want you to get you." This is the first I've heard of this guy.

@Viking Happy for you man, honestly. My wife deals with the same thing, I've dealt with it, its very human. It may keep coming back energetically now that you've realized this, but don't let that mean you don't understand whats going on and let it prevent you. It can help to have some positive affirmations at this time like, when your feeling this way again, you go oh ya, thats the old habit and belief, I'm much better then that, I'm gonna stick with this new thing I'm doing and see what comes about a little longer. Don't let old habits/beliefs hold you down, because like I'm saying they will most likely come back and fight for your attention, dont fight them with struggle, just understand its old/though/emotional energy and you are bigger than that, and continue forward with strength in that conviction (meditation is good to here because hopefully it can ground you in a place in which you can see these thoughts/energys of lack of self of steam for what they are, and not be swept into the conviction they are true).

The biggest obstacle for most people in achieving spiritual freedom is the motherfucking bouncer at the door. Everytime you read a new perspective on how to change something about yourself, or get a new understanding of what the bigger picture looks like, this bouncer either goes nope, can't come in, or yep I know this, or sometimes this guy tries to imitate verbatim what was said and misses the point all together. It's about understanding something and letting it go and then letting the remainder of what takes place in the dropping after understanding that is freedom. Its about letting organic maturation take place in the honesty of you realizing you dont know nearly as much as you assume you do. Now how do you deal with this bouncer, well thats the million dollar question, but hopefully just reading this brings this motherfucker into the limelight. At that point then hopefully something in you will go, oh, ah ya, fuck, ok theres more going on then I realized. Hopefully one can ride this humility organically maturing so that the bouncer loses its grip.