Mu_

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Everything posted by Mu_

  1. This sounds like a koan, I love koans. That which remains when it feels as though nothing should remain is commonly referred to as "ego", but even this is energy is god/"something"/infinity upon further awakening.
  2. It felt like a "sense of self" that saw itself flicker in and out of existence, except that when the flickering out happened, there was still "something".
  3. Just for the fun of conversation, does your experience encompass the actual truth? For instance, it didn't happen to you and a few others you observed, so its the case now? But it did happen to me, and those I know and a number of awakened teachers from books they wrote or talks that gave. So theres evidence that it doesn't just happen to "noobs". Also I think if your honest with yourself, you really can't say for certain how you will respond to the yet to be created future and what life with mold you as and throw at "you".
  4. The cusp of insanity is sometimes a very healthy place to be if your desire is real freedom from the mind. Now I dont know your exact situation, but for me when I reached a similar point, I came to the realization that I could not control any of this, I could not prevent death, I could not prevent the mind from just falling apart and what ever the sense of self of being from one moment the next is, from just disappearing. I literally just accepted my death both physically and mentally, and let it go. This came with a profound sense of peace and freedom and eventually lead to the understanding of who and what we are, truely. There was also a respect for the fact that somehow this whole thing called, life, with a "me" and a "you" body/mind happening some how, that worked from one second to the next didnt just blow away in the wind. Because literally any second this happening could just pfffffffff......................................... and yet it hasn't yet, and that was a source of a new happiness.
  5. For your own sake I sure hope you don't eat your own words, but let me tell you, it has nothing with being a noob, lol. Insanity or the cusp ofi is talked about by a number of awakened teachers, many of which were not "noobs" at the point in which it happened. Trust me you will change your toon real quick if life puts you in such a situation in your now beyond noobness.
  6. Ya it sounds like you should listen to your sense that looking into this negative "being bad" could be helpful. And your right about it maybe making you temporarily "depressed". This can happen when we face structures like this in ourselves. But when this happens remind yourself that this is what can happen and its temporary and things will improve when you see through the things you are facing. Often what happens for people is they start looking into something like this, start to feel bad, doubful, less of themselves, that theres a bigger problem then there is (any number of things can happen in ones mind/experience) and they contract back in avoiding the issue they wanted to face. Of course if things get really out of control and unsafe, then you may want to back off and reassess and perhaps get help from others that can help you through these challenging times/issues (which if it ever comes up, you can message me and I'll try and help you through with my experience). Out of curiosity do you feel like you have long term negative mind states from your psychedelic/spiritual experiences? As for me I had a traumatic spiritual awakening years ago in which I felt everything I knew myself to be changed radically fast and I felt forced to do/act in ways that didn't make sense to me. I became WAAAAY to sensitive to any amount of suffering or potential danger and over compensating by almost being OCD. This lasted in various ways off and on for years. A few years ago this all came to a head in a series of spiritual awakenings,facing some real potential dangers and a few encounters with angels/spirits that healed something in my heart as well as helping me face the reality of death and danger as a inherent Truth in life. While i can't tell you how it turned out in the end, since I'm still alive its radically better and in the process of the whole thing, I have become awakened to my true nature and all sorts of unexpected Truths I had only read about and wanted to understand at one point, but for what ever reason was unable to see in my earlier years.
  7. Is there a reason you can't handle criticism? You may find some gems of understanding in here. Also imagine what it may be like to not be effected by criticism, not as in a action you do to pump yourself up and deflect, push away or avoid your feelings that arise, but to be at rest within these emotions and beliefs that come up. If that sounds interesting, you may be interested in trying meditation and looking into the nature of thought and emotion itself.
  8. Your welcome. When ever you feel this way again, keep coming back to what you learned here.
  9. Nadosa, it really sounds like your have a very hard time with the shift of consciousness that is happening, so much so that your in constant panic and your mind is racing to protect itself and find the cause of this new source of confusion and suffering. Again I'm willing to try and help you, just let me know. (Im not sure if you saw my previous message here in this post.
  10. Your welcome, that is a profound insight you had. Can I ask though, did it uplift you, leave you depressed and confused or neither?
  11. Your going through some big time ego backlash by the sound of it. It really can be scary and ununderstandble since you have no context for the shift that your going through. I think I can help. You have the ability to chat or vid chat? Let me know, I"m open to helping you (for free if your wondering).
  12. Leave it at a loss for words and let it sink in as long as you can. Also something jack rivers said that is very profound and you should contemplate and get confused by as well is you don’t need to focus on awareness to wake up. its most likely just an idea of something then your true self.
  13. To me this question comes down to what are you referring to by nothing. If your just pointing to empty space then it’s pretty likely u just don’t have an instrument fine enough to see what’s in that space. But if your refering to nothing as in that which underlie everything then nothing is all there is. However if you want to know if there is literally nothing as in the abscence of anything. Then that is false. There are no absent places for there will always be that which always is and is everywhere.
  14. I get you, but to really not know, is just what it is, its not an idea. Unless you've seen through this, into the realization that You are IT (but even still there is a great deal of not knowing that is inherent in life), but this doesn't sound like the case. Thats great, you sound like you've been inquiring and trying your best to find the truth. Me? I was on the path for 18+ years and since waking up I've been offering my help for free on the subject for others to find themselves. I think this one may be of interest to you.
  15. Interesting view, but I feel like I'd get a bit depressed if I believed it as inherently true. On a basic level I think a lot of employers are just people like you and I who have an idea, some money (borrowed or saved) and they create it into the world. This leads to needing employees who they themselves need a job so they can live (everyone needs work, or how to survive in the wild). Now I'm not sure if your saying this, but I dont think its an evil plan of some sort that bosses are keeping going and not telling anyone else about (like a shadow government). This is just how bartering is taking place these days. Since people dont have goods they make themselves to trade they work for someone who produces goods and pays them. This "money" allows for people to buy and sell/barter through labor put in.
  16. Maybe try again, but do half as much as you were trying to do before and see if that works. Allow yourself to watch some movies and learn something new. Sometimes rigid learning fails. Respect your desires and interests to, but remind yourself that you do want to make progress in the new learning direction and stick to it. If you fail on your commitment for a day or two, dont panic beat up on yourself and throw it all away, just remind yourself that change is hard (AND IT CAN BE) and just get back to where you left off sooner than later. After doing this for a period you will feel more empowered and do a little more. Then you probably will retract to your old ways, but again just remind yourself of the above, and rinse and repeat.
  17. Who are you trying to impress? Yourself or others? Do you need to prove to yourself or others something in particular? Perhaps looking into this will yield something interesting.
  18. Well said. And yet I do still wonder if "spiritual" practice makes you more enlightenment prone, but just not doing it with this particular desire for it. Perhaps better safe then sorry.
  19. haha, Ive been down that road as well. Perhaps you just need to be honest with yourself at this point, and admit, you dont know who or what you are, but 'something" appears to be happening. What does that feel like to do, just admit you dont know..... What got you on this quest to answer this question to begin with? Perhaps I can help you more from there.
  20. Sometimes a good hot bath with epsom salts can help. Its good at clearing energy. maybe listen to some relaxing music at the same time. Another good thing that has helped me is a reminder that this shall pass and its only happening now, not every minute, things will return to normal, and have faith in that, even appreciate that.
  21. Is your brother preventing you physically from getting your life together? I get that he can be emotionally a drag or hard to be around. I also understand due to his/your hard life I imagine it would be very hard on him for you to up and leave. But do you think you can find a balance where you can achieve your best outcome and you can also be strong enough to help your brother, either through tolerance or by being a positive influence in his life and perhaps a reminder of how he can maybe better his life. Of course if he rejects this and makes him worse, you want to back off, but still achieve what you need to. Does that make sense, do you think its possible for you to do?
  22. Welcome to the world, young 14 year old. Don't stress to much, honestly your normal and have frustrations like everyone. Maybe you just need to give yourself a little more time for you and something your less frustrated with doing such as meditating or contemplating a question for 2 hours. Its great that your interested in developing, but what are you developing towards and why? What is it about life and you that you feel you need to develop within it? Are you trying to solve a problem in the world, or a problem you think you have? Sometimes people on a "spiritual" path tie them selfs in knots and cause their own suffering thinking they are fixing something that doesn't need to be fixed, or repenting for something they believe is inherently wrong to begin with. Maybe I can help you help yourself.
  23. @Tistepiste My answer will require you to really role play for a moment. Let in as an absolute fact for as long as you can that there is no “wrong” decision you can make. Now after doing this, is there really a problem in not knowing what decision to make? Or can you at least see the possibility? Now another date try this one. Jonnybravo did a good job of giving a perspective on this as well. Can you accept the absolute worst that may happen in a situation and the best? If not really go into why. You’ll probably find out a lot about yourself. And with this you can work at accepting these possibilities that can happen and making the choice you feel best about despite or because of your reasons.