Mu_

Sounds like you got a lot of frustration with being told what to do. You may even feel like these "these teachers" may be right and you want to defend your actions (which don't need to be defended in the first place) since again you don't want to be told what to do, yet there may still be a little part of you looking for what your supposed to be doing and how your supposed to do it. You may even feel like if you can prove them wrong you'll feel ok about what your choosing to do.

Is this something you feel like is happening to you? If so can you elaborate?

There’s always more to learn experience and go through. It’s a good attitude to have in my opinion. It’s not a should or a must. But keeps one modest and open. But really it’s always the beginning and the end. The total is in all places and in all views. There isn’t a spot and there isn’t a spot where everything is not fully there. In regards if there is emotional mastery or permentant bliss embodiments, I don’t see why not. Anything’s possible. But if you go out seeking and always frustrated that this has not been reached, your in for some unsatisfaction along that destination most likely.

To your first paragraph. Yes. Whats funny about your second question and I’ve been thinking about this lately is that even your “ego/mind” thinking it is the nothingness is actually not actually incorrect either because what the ego/mind is actually made of is god as well. Haha haha ? it’s justnot realized how does that make you feel?

It's accepted fully but I will also defend myself or community if trying to be killed or targeted in genocide, I dont adhere to a code of pacifism. Again feelings still arise about making smart decisions not to just walk into a street and sadness still arises about the loss of friends or family, my humanness remains. If I were to die tomorrow? hahahaha, how would I feel? Not sure, I'll try and let you know if it happens.......somehow?? Hahahaha. But no the body dying does not disturb me, I'm actually more excited about whats behind the doors of that moment when it does happen then afraid to go. But if someone tortures me up until that moment, I will feel pain if thats on your mind.

Sounds like your following @winterknight Instructions and I would stick with it longer since it’s important to stay to true to a method for a while to get benifits from it (then maybe in a year try some other stuff and learn from that or maybe even stay with that if it blooms fruit) Don’t overhwhelm yourself with to many instructions and approaches. What your going through sounds very familiar and was hard for me to acclimate to but it was an important piece I feel non the less, even though in the end I had to drop the approach since I felt to detached at a certain point and needed to just drop everything fora while.

I really like music, its one of those things that can instantly change a mood for the better. If you want to realize oneness its a whole different matter then that being one with music kinda thing (which is a great state to be able to offer others through your art). Its not something I've given a lot of thought to nor have a lot of experience with, so I'd suggest looking into the hearts and views of musicians, producers, dancers and anyone else that has spent their time in that field. Read a biography, watch some documentaries, really try to get in the mind of those people. I think you'll find a lot of answers and inspiration that route.

What exactly are you asking? Why not put some time into each and see what they offer?

I Like what your saying and think it’s helpful for Aakash.

How does that feel to see this.

Lifes fairly similar then "before" awakening, even though "before" isn't really a difference in "time". God "IS", so leaving it to or not leaving it, is a impossibility. "I" and "feel" arise, but not in belief of being such.

I agree with the gist that all black or white has its issues however when one full goes through a phase like that they are learning one side emerssively even though partial. One can have a life time in this extreme or for some it’s a few years. So long as it’s not just a accepted belief system and an actual embodiment of living and experiencing first hand there is growth in my opinion. That said there is internal and external AND It’s all One/Self/God Leo has eluded to this paradox as well as many other teachers ?‍?.

I agree with the gist that all black or white has its issues however when one full goes through a phase like that they are learning one side emerssively even though partial. One can have a life time in this extreme or for some it’s a few years. So long as it’s not just a accepted belief system and an actual embodiment of living and experiencing first hand there is growth in my opinion. That said there is internal and external AND It’s all One/Self/God Leo has eluded to this paradox as well as many other teachers ?‍?.

HOWEVER you will miss a lot if you blow off form because you feel like its now unimportant or a illusion since its all One and that is whats important now. There is no this or that.

If by nothing you mean a literal nothing, then it doesn't exist. If by something = form as its generally called in science and nothing as a recognition/inherent seeing and knowing of voidness/emptiness/no-thingness then there is no distinction they are the same, but this is something your going to have to see for yourself and taking my word for it is not going to settle the question.

Theres only ever been something. See if you can find it inside what you call yourself.

Are you asking this because your hesitant to trust something you don't understand and that knowledge will give you more reason to put your faith in it?

Ultimate Self.

Hey Jkris, I made a video on this, perhaps it may help you.

maybe stop trying to stop the thoughts and still your mind. This can be like alan watts says "Try flattening out a ripple in water with your hand, you'll only create more".

Well this comment was in relation to the original question asked, about that specific time in life where it seemed to be part of waking up, even if its not how I fully see things now. But to elaborate, "I" was seen as a particular someone who had choice and a control to do this or that. I wasn't ready at that moment to just believe that it was false, but I couldn't prove that "I" was real, real as it seemed, or actually had any control. So you could say, I drop the conviction that it was inherently true (which is how we all generally live as people) and let it be open as a possibility that I don't have control or that I don't have nearly as much control as I think I did. This lead to seeing that I don't control what desires, thoughts, interests and feelings come up, opening up self-realization that my previous beliefs were not as they seemed. This seeing continued and repeated over and over until a momentum and concrete change happened where this notion of "I" just wasn't grasped or held onto anymore. But yet a "remaining" happened. Existing, seeing, sensing, knowledge, understanding, experience didn't just vanish, it became a new unfolding of its own kind.

My wife and a friend have participated in this relatively free organization to improve and overcome some of these issues your speaking about. https://www.toastmasters.org/ Also no one cares if you have a big nose with a slight bend, its only you. If someone is childish enough to say something to you about it, its not worth your time to listen. If you really look at people, everyone has some imperfections to be found if you really want to find them.

I replied to someone else on another question and its connected to yours, so I thought you may want to see it. 5 hours ago, zambize said: What helped this experience stick instead of just being an enlightenment experience and coming back down? Ive thought a lot about this since and I'm afraid its impossible to nail down exactly. The biggest issues that were faced in the end was the complete acceptance that I can't avoid death and danger to me or my loved ones. That "I" can't be proven or dis-proven, choice and the arising of desire appear on their own, and God is All. There was years of meditation before this, years of contemplation and exposure to various perspectives on consciousness, thought, science, synchronicitys, speaking with spirits and angels, multiple mushroom and lsd experiences, many great adventures and travels, and many many many challenges of having to bear my own mind, emotions, and disintegration. My advice to you is if your interested in this "waking up" stuff, accept it as the biggest challenge of your life and that you may have to go through things you do not like and doesn't feel good, but at the same time, don't take it to seriously. Be consistent with your practice, but don't become to rigid that you feel guilty for dropping it some days. Ego backlash will happen and if I've learned anything, its important to respect those periods sometimes and just take a little break, do something fun or restful and non harming to yourself and others. This "awakening" thing isn't a race, the universe has been around for billions of years and if you've been doing a lot of personal work or implementing a lot of new changes (sometimes even just a little), this can challenge you at your deepest levels, re-calibrating the body, mind and spirit, and require some needed rest from from the process your putting yourself through. Meditation did wonders in cultivating a stance to be able to see the movement of thought and stories that we are believing without knowing it. Looking into these stories and understanding what attached me helped me let go of coming from those places. As stories fell away, emptiness, unbrokenness and new perspective slowly emerged. The mind and some of the many tricks and its core desires became more obvious. Wanting to feel important over other humans, feeling entitled to everything, the belief of being in control, that life is out to get you or against you, needing to be right and prove others wrong, and many many more, many of which are specific to this incarnation. Being open, and ready for the possibility that anything can change that your convinced is just the way it is, is just you, always has been and always will be. If this isn't confronted, chances are you will remain stuck, in the hundreds of ways this can happen in a life. Really finding it in you through investigation that ANYTHING is possible even if it seems scientificly so or rationally. Again, just the mindset will allow for your life, mind and body to do what you couldn't imagine. Trusting that life is worth living and inherently good and that most people mean well, is important, it will keep you grounded and sane, help steer you away from a lot of unneeded conflict with others, help with inner doubt, and apprehension on letting go of your trauma's, and pains you will face. Theres a lot more, but these are really important in my opinion no matter what path you feel drawn to.

Ive thought a lot about this since and I'm afraid its impossible to nail down exactly. The biggest issues that were faced in the end was the complete acceptance that I can't avoid death and danger to me or my loved ones. That "I" can't be proven or dis-proven, choice and the arising of desire appear on their own, and God is All. There was years of meditation before this, years of contemplation and exposure to various perspectives on consciousness, thought, science, synchronicitys, speaking with spirits and angels, multiple mushroom and lsd experiences, many great adventures and travels, and many many many challenges of having to bear my own mind, emotions, and disintegration. My advice to you is if your interested in this "waking up" stuff, accept it as the biggest challenge of your life and that you may have to go through things you do not like and doesn't feel good, but at the same time, don't take it to seriously. Be consistent with your practice, but don't become to rigid that you feel guilty for dropping it some days. Ego backlash will happen and if I've learned anything, its important to respect those periods sometimes and just take a little break, do something fun or restful and non harming to yourself and others. This "awakening" thing isn't a race, the universe has been around for billions of years and if you've been doing a lot of personal work or implementing a lot of new changes (sometimes even just a little), this can challenge you at your deepest levels, re-calibrating the body, mind and spirit, and require some needed rest from from the process your putting yourself through. Meditation did wonders in cultivating a stance to be able to see the movement of thought and stories that we are believing without knowing it. Looking into these stories and understanding what attached me helped me let go of coming from those places. As stories fell away, emptiness, unbrokenness and new perspective slowly emerged. The mind and some of the many tricks and its core desires became more obvious. Wanting to feel important over other humans, feeling entitled to everything, the belief of being in control, that life is out to get you or against you, needing to be right and prove others wrong, and many many more, many of which are specific to this incarnation. Being open, and ready for the possibility that anything can change that your convinced is just the way it is, is just you, always has been and always will be. If this isn't confronted, chances are you will remain stuck, in the hundreds of ways this can happen in a life. Really finding it in you through investigation that ANYTHING is possible even if it seems scientificly so or rationally. Again, just the mindset will allow for your life, mind and body to do what you couldn't imagine. Trusting that life is worth living and inherently good and that most people mean well, is important, it will keep you grounded and sane, help steer you away from a lot of unneeded conflict with others, help with inner doubt, and apprehension on letting go of your trauma's, and pains you will face. Theres a lot more, but these are really important in my opinion no matter what path you feel drawn to.

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