Mu_

I really can't honestly answer the "who are you" question because generally a question requires the knowledge of what the asker is asking, and I don't know what you mean. Like when the body was born and the name given? What are my tendencies? Do I see myself as god because I understand what we all are? What first thought arises when you ask the question? (honestly the question created the thought, what do you mean....) Elaborate a little....

Lisa Cairns spoke around this issue and was deeply healing at one point to understand. There's waking up to what you are and knowing that which can have its own side psychological healing effects on ones self AND then theres the persistence of habit/body/trauma/brain-nervous system stuff which there are methods and things that can be done/learned/time put into that will heal those things which leads to less suffering, more natural states of bliss. And yes there are HUGE, lol, awakenings that can happen that heal everything in one go, and everything in between these two paragraphs (but you can't try this or any type of awakening to happen like this). To "do" or put effort in either of these forms of discovery does not equate suffering either. And yes there are those that will be very fulfilled, still have arisals of discomfort/trauma and what not and have no interest in changing and be fufilled/not-at odds with the choice. This is a really good question and more spiritual people should really understand these subtitles because many spiritual ego's are stuck as a result of this question since a lot of "ego's" are about abiding by certain rules and if its not obeyed, they are wrong or others are wrong and this generally equates to a type of contraction and suffering.

I was listening to a chillstep mix yesterday and alan watts was on it and said something pertaining to your question that is really interesting. He said people love things that look difficult or are advertised as powerful or secret, it makes the individual think it must be more effective, and that the stuff that is simple isn't as effective or will yield less results (the person can also feel really special in relation to another that they are doing this powerful techniques as well and this just creates more idea's of the individual and feelings of superiority). Thought this may be of use to consider. My thoughts are don't get caught up in "powerful" techniques and just do what your drawn to and find is helpful in working through what is causing suffering in your life or to others. Sometimes you will have to stick with something for a bit before you see results. But in my opinion, if you don't see any results of any kind or get any feeling from your heart or intuition that things are useful in 1-1.5 months, then just drop it and try something else.

@Serotoninluv Did someone say cowbell....

Sounds like you got a lot of frustration with being told what to do. You may even feel like these "these teachers" may be right and you want to defend your actions (which don't need to be defended in the first place) since again you don't want to be told what to do, yet there may still be a little part of you looking for what your supposed to be doing and how your supposed to do it. You may even feel like if you can prove them wrong you'll feel ok about what your choosing to do.

Is this something you feel like is happening to you? If so can you elaborate?

There’s always more to learn experience and go through. It’s a good attitude to have in my opinion. It’s not a should or a must. But keeps one modest and open. But really it’s always the beginning and the end. The total is in all places and in all views. There isn’t a spot and there isn’t a spot where everything is not fully there. In regards if there is emotional mastery or permentant bliss embodiments, I don’t see why not. Anything’s possible. But if you go out seeking and always frustrated that this has not been reached, your in for some unsatisfaction along that destination most likely.

To your first paragraph. Yes. Whats funny about your second question and I’ve been thinking about this lately is that even your “ego/mind” thinking it is the nothingness is actually not actually incorrect either because what the ego/mind is actually made of is god as well. Haha haha ? it’s justnot realized how does that make you feel?

It's accepted fully but I will also defend myself or community if trying to be killed or targeted in genocide, I dont adhere to a code of pacifism. Again feelings still arise about making smart decisions not to just walk into a street and sadness still arises about the loss of friends or family, my humanness remains. If I were to die tomorrow? hahahaha, how would I feel? Not sure, I'll try and let you know if it happens.......somehow?? Hahahaha. But no the body dying does not disturb me, I'm actually more excited about whats behind the doors of that moment when it does happen then afraid to go. But if someone tortures me up until that moment, I will feel pain if thats on your mind.

Sounds like your following @winterknight Instructions and I would stick with it longer since it’s important to stay to true to a method for a while to get benifits from it (then maybe in a year try some other stuff and learn from that or maybe even stay with that if it blooms fruit) Don’t overhwhelm yourself with to many instructions and approaches. What your going through sounds very familiar and was hard for me to acclimate to but it was an important piece I feel non the less, even though in the end I had to drop the approach since I felt to detached at a certain point and needed to just drop everything fora while.

I really like music, its one of those things that can instantly change a mood for the better. If you want to realize oneness its a whole different matter then that being one with music kinda thing (which is a great state to be able to offer others through your art). Its not something I've given a lot of thought to nor have a lot of experience with, so I'd suggest looking into the hearts and views of musicians, producers, dancers and anyone else that has spent their time in that field. Read a biography, watch some documentaries, really try to get in the mind of those people. I think you'll find a lot of answers and inspiration that route.

What exactly are you asking? Why not put some time into each and see what they offer?

I Like what your saying and think it’s helpful for Aakash.

How does that feel to see this.

Lifes fairly similar then "before" awakening, even though "before" isn't really a difference in "time". God "IS", so leaving it to or not leaving it, is a impossibility. "I" and "feel" arise, but not in belief of being such.

I agree with the gist that all black or white has its issues however when one full goes through a phase like that they are learning one side emerssively even though partial. One can have a life time in this extreme or for some it’s a few years. So long as it’s not just a accepted belief system and an actual embodiment of living and experiencing first hand there is growth in my opinion. That said there is internal and external AND It’s all One/Self/God Leo has eluded to this paradox as well as many other teachers ?‍?.

I agree with the gist that all black or white has its issues however when one full goes through a phase like that they are learning one side emerssively even though partial. One can have a life time in this extreme or for some it’s a few years. So long as it’s not just a accepted belief system and an actual embodiment of living and experiencing first hand there is growth in my opinion. That said there is internal and external AND It’s all One/Self/God Leo has eluded to this paradox as well as many other teachers ?‍?.

HOWEVER you will miss a lot if you blow off form because you feel like its now unimportant or a illusion since its all One and that is whats important now. There is no this or that.

If by nothing you mean a literal nothing, then it doesn't exist. If by something = form as its generally called in science and nothing as a recognition/inherent seeing and knowing of voidness/emptiness/no-thingness then there is no distinction they are the same, but this is something your going to have to see for yourself and taking my word for it is not going to settle the question.

Theres only ever been something. See if you can find it inside what you call yourself.

Are you asking this because your hesitant to trust something you don't understand and that knowledge will give you more reason to put your faith in it?

Ultimate Self.

Hey Jkris, I made a video on this, perhaps it may help you.

maybe stop trying to stop the thoughts and still your mind. This can be like alan watts says "Try flattening out a ripple in water with your hand, you'll only create more".

Well this comment was in relation to the original question asked, about that specific time in life where it seemed to be part of waking up, even if its not how I fully see things now. But to elaborate, "I" was seen as a particular someone who had choice and a control to do this or that. I wasn't ready at that moment to just believe that it was false, but I couldn't prove that "I" was real, real as it seemed, or actually had any control. So you could say, I drop the conviction that it was inherently true (which is how we all generally live as people) and let it be open as a possibility that I don't have control or that I don't have nearly as much control as I think I did. This lead to seeing that I don't control what desires, thoughts, interests and feelings come up, opening up self-realization that my previous beliefs were not as they seemed. This seeing continued and repeated over and over until a momentum and concrete change happened where this notion of "I" just wasn't grasped or held onto anymore. But yet a "remaining" happened. Existing, seeing, sensing, knowledge, understanding, experience didn't just vanish, it became a new unfolding of its own kind.