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@Raptorsin7 Just take steps, now, doesnt matter what you feel or think. You won't want to do it, but you can still run, eat less shitty stuff and lift weights even when you don't feel like it or think you want to. Just do the action. If you wait for the feeling or thought to do it, or for that resistant voice to go away before you take action, you could be waiting the rest of your life, sometimes you just gotta act despite all those things.

Sorry bud, but you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself and take some steps, hell do it while feeling sorry for yourself. Also from what I've gathered from friends who have degrees that dont hire a lot of people, is some companies will hire for jobs that people dont have a degree in as long as they have a degree of some sort, it just shows that you can learn. Just look at the qualifications of a job you may like or a field you want to get into, sometimes its just learning some extra skills +proving you've gone through a 4 year degree to land a job. But ya, work on yourself dude, I believe ya.

@meow_meow and yes, your free to get in touch with me if you like.

Sounds rough man, I feel for ya. That said, I think your in a better spot then you realize, at least you know this instead of it just being a mystery and being thrown around by forces you just dont understand. I believe the first step in this process is to stop blaming your parents, its just not going to help or get anywhere, you could spend your whole life doing so and it would only make you feel either justified the way you are or infinitely resentful and still no closer to being what you want to be. Next start taking smaller steps choosing 1-2 things you want to work on or towards and just commit and do them, this may mean working out 2-3 times a week to start and then maybe maxing out at 4, taking your time to reach that over the course of a 2-3 months. Gradual over doing as much as you can humanly muster, but don't just half ass and do a few minutes here and there and just flake and pig out and disconnect on games (sure you can still do some of this, just keep it as a reward for times after you accomplished your new goals). I'd start with (diet, sleep and exercise) as 1 block, because you'll get the biggest feel good results, and 2. I'd work on maybe freshening up your job skills or taking some classes if you need to. What kind of work are you looking for and what qualifications or schooling have you done so far? Its really this simple on a certain level, and the sooner you just start the easier it will be, it may require you to call your own shit sometimes (dont be a raging asshole to yourself) and suck up some "I dont want to do it now" feelings and thoughts, but generally when you get started and keep with it, the thoughts become less heavy (not always, and sometimes you just have to go through this).

@meow_meow Mahmoud already commented on what I was partially going to say but ya drop trying to deprecate things during meditation. And stop looking and identifying what the observer is and is not. Wouldnt you say without looking for or looking for such an observer, awareness is already taking place in the process of looking and not looking. It’s so obvious it’s not even funny. I’m not talking about a supposed god consciousness with unique qualities, just the fact that it’s obvious reading this sentence right now is taking place.

@BlackMaze reread what I said and keep coming back to it to remind yourself on perhaps a daily basis. Let it sink in. It’s not a logical thing to learn, it happen when it does, just like seeing or hearing, it’s just something that happens. I’m guessing something about what I said struck you deeply somehow and you want to get it or make sure you don’t lose it. Again just keep coming back to it. Reflect on it, remind yourself of what I said in moments in which you find yourself in the situations i spoke about and it’s happening to you. In time something will hopefully click. Hey

Its all ok man, its not insanity, just part of the course for some on this pathless path. Not to scare you, but what you've shared for some is like a normal walk in the park, nothing unusual about it, but understandably for you its new. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and its not steering you of course internally and the limited communication I've had with you tells me your on the right path..... If it gets to overwhelming, its alright to just back off on your practices for a bit and just do something else, like play a game or have a few drinks with some buddies and chill out for a few days. If it sounds interesting to you, if your feeling like the meditation your doing is getting kinda stale, instead of approaching it from the angle of watching your thoughts, instead just close your eye's and let experience, which includes sounds, feelings, touch sensations, thoughts, emotions, "everything", just come up as it doesn and pass as it does, and to do so for 30-40 mins. No goal, no intention, just be.... And then maybe after a few weeks of doing so, just reflect on the difference and I'd be curious what it is.....

@Revolutionary Think @BlackMaze Ya isn't funny how life works this way. not all disasters are bad, not all circumstances are the same thing for each person, not all bodily, financial or monetary outward stuff means the same thing to each person. Letting this in can free your life deeply. If you can really see this perhaps this can help you let go of what "other" people thing, so or believe about you. This is true wether your in the room with the person or people, or over the internet. AND most importantly to notice and perhaps let in, is the voices in your head that tell you what "you" think the other person thinks or believes about "you" and how these images impact your moment to moment experience in negative ways (sure there are positive ways these can impact you but no need to do anything about those since they are positive), and to find the power or confidence to see through this or just let the voice say what they say and not be impacted.

Who says your not grateful enough? Do you agree? What would you do to be more grateful? if that sounds good to you, do it, if not, move on.

Just mediate in a inclined position of about 130 degree's give or take, and make sure your decently comfortable. This is a ideal angle to distribute weight in such a way that its not coming straight down. As you feel more empowered, centered, strong, flexible and resilient try meditating in this way if you choose, otherwise it may just be more distracting and not great on your body until so.

Easier said than done until you find out the theater and the audience are one.

@Someone here After reading more of the thread another good question to maybe start with at this point is, why do you see the problems you do with your body? Like why are the things you find bothersome, bothersome, why do you relate in a burdensome way when others apparently don't (dont get me wrong, your not alone, others relate the same way so to say)? Why continue if you feel like you have control? If you come to the answer, I don't feel like I have control? Well then what more is there to say? But again if you do feel like you have control either look into the truth of what that means and ultimately find out if you do or not, or maybe "now" just make a choice to stop complaining about what you do since it bothers you so much....

@Someone here Well first of all congratulations to have the courage to be open in wanting to find out more, a big step in the right direction. Now my advice may seem indirect and it may not just magically open you up to the glory you envision (it may ), but its basically as follows. First set of questions to ponder and take time with, with no rush to get a final answer and claim as known or yours.... 1. "What" is this process/movement/arising/magical happening that states or is experienced as "I'm my soul and wants to be in bliss freedom" and "doesn't want to have body and all the negative feelings/thoughts/process about it". 2. Is the body, the feelings, the thoughts, the soul, and that which is aware of the "two", separate? 3. Do they arise in experience simultaneously? 4. What do "they all" apparently arise within? No right answers, just what is found or not....... Ok a whole new set of questions once again to take minutes, days, hours, years to just be curious about..... 1. What makes something at a objective level "a body"? If you can define this then theres more to go deeper into. 2. Next question, what makes it "my body" If theres an answer, theres more still to uncover. 3. Who or what is the "my" in which a body supposedly belongs to? 4. Is there a possession of "this"? Or a being as such.... or neither or it just can't be said..... Again no right or wrong answers, just feel into what is revealed and let what happens or doesn't.............

@ALPHA907 Ya focus on learning and experiencing, maybe do some yoga just find out what its like, meditate to see what its like, treat people fairly and with kindness, and get through the school process. If your passionate about something, put time into it. Friends will come when they come, sometimes it can take time to meet and make new ones, but there are lots of opportunities in school that happen out of no where with no planning. Sometimes when talking with new people, it can feel scary or awkward the first few minutes, but once you get a few common understandings it can become easier and interesting. No rush, your really young in terms of human life span.

Ya death is something that is worth looking into for some, since so much of ones choices and limitations can hinge on the idea's around it.

@lmfao Dont be so hard on yourself and others. Its possible to give the benefit of the doubt now, and not wait for a lsd experience. Sure we all have a mixture of stuff and expressions so to say, but its in your hands how you judge that. Does a sinner need to be hated or lashed out at or pointed to and shunned, or can this one be acknowledged and still be treated with a heart and respect? If people were truely as sinner as you say you see them as, we would of never made it this far in evolution, let in that your not seeing the whole picture and let that new information come in. Also stop being a liar and manipulator and in doing so you'll find others who are doing the same, you'll also probably find out that theres a lot more good then your currently seeing.

@Someone here Congrats! What changed? Your mood seems better then when I first met ya. Feels like a layer of protection has dropped. Again congrats.

Ya, one message i liked from a guy who claimed enlightenment was if you feel like you have choice, use it. If it seems to yield something, why believe someone else saying its not real. Yet if you listen to the words of some of these messages in the attempt to see if what they are saying yields something, like the effort to surrender, and then surrender becomes its own effortless state, then why not try it out if your open to experimenting and seeing for yourself. If choice seems to have disappeared, then thats that, why make a religion out of it.

There was a short period where I could intend vaguely to dream something and when going into the dream I could feel myself creating what I imagined while also experiencing the joy of the dream. This didn't last long, but there are often times where I do notice I can make choices in dreams and do so. But since making the intention to read or meditate in dreaming, I can't.

Report back if your able to meditate in your dream, I've been trying for years. One of my goals was trying to read something and learn in my dream, or meditate,...... still can't manage, lol.

Here's my take on the two positions. Neither one is correct or total so to say. Each position is useful for the right one hearing it at the right time. For some hearing the message of Neo-Adviata will help drop contraction/mind beliefs that separate them from their original memory who and what they are, and for others it will reinforce a laziness inside them to do nothing and remain attached to the memories of the current life. And on the otherside of the coin, the do something approach can help a person break free of consistent patterns to regain the original memory that some claim comes about when you drop the activity that your so closely attached to/believing in this life. This takes forms in future/past worries, anger attachments, fear attachments/beliefs, gluttony, money obsessions, etc...... But the again the downside of this could be it reinforces a person to get lost in the doing of activities to accomplish something particular forever clouding the original memory of who and what they are. One little thing neo-advita even though its my favorite message atm I don't think I've met or heard a neo-advita teacher or someone claiming do nothing that didn't at one point dedicate YEARS of meditation and practice of various sorts before they had their do nothing awakening.

To me this is a great and rare example of someone who is..... how do I put it, living his life in a way that could easily be judged as off course from what is healthy, but is doing what he's doing because he wants to and isn't ready to stop yet. I was in his shoes, I'd binge out on drugs but deep down knew I could stop when I wanted. I liked the escape and freedom that drugs gave and because i was in a society that saw this type of behavior in their own unique lens, saw me as in need of help or off course, hell there was a part of society in me/mind that was giving me these judgements as well. All the power to him, when he's ready he'll get off, but for now let him enjoy his life path and the risks that it has. No path is without risks even the so called 9-5, get a degree, married and hope for the best route, lol. All that said, if you've proven to yourself that your addicted and can't control you actions and that your drug or item of choice leads and pulls you and you can't help it, then overcome this and find a way to maintain your inner freedom.

@Happy Jay My mom did take benzo's for a period of time and it was needed for her to sleep for her short term, since he had heart pounding panic attacks in the middle of the night that would wake her out of her sleep and keep her awake. There may of been an alternative that could of worked but she got these over the counter while living in mexico and didn't know the risks. It was scary and rough for her coming of them and seemed to tweak her personality while she was on them. i'd strongly suggest going with another medication and seeing if that works since it can have major addictive risks, and she's now been taking a small-moderate dose of SRI's and its making a difference. Look into the pro's and con's of what is being prescribed to you before you make your decision, in general Benzo's should be a major no. My only other suggestion is to do these with the mindset that its only in conjunction with therapy and self helping yourself and that they are not something that you will want or need to take past a year or less (give or take some for certain people).

Just want to let you know, you didn't do anything wrong in sharing the truth of whats happening in your situation, it is what it was and now you want to change. Unfortunately your going to face the reactions you did since not everyone is going to be able to handle such truth being shared, so understand that and don't let it make you shy away from changing, getting help and moving forward. Did you read or try any of the advice I gave you? I know it may be hard to let in, but your not alone in your pain, there are people who understand and have even been through worse. Focus on your growth, your needs, and don't let others opinions sway you. @Preety_India @Keyhole Dont take what Im about to say as a disciplinary action or blaming, just my thoughts and opinions, I know both of you are only being yourself and speaking your mind and maybe felt like you were helping, but it doesn't always means its going to be helpful. In my opinion if we basically just say your a monster and one should never do this and what is wrong with you or just go get mental help, how is this supposed to help anyone who is actually struggling in a really bad situation and being honest with who they are at that time, would you prefer they not admit it and keep it to themselves, because they can't take back what they've done, so why shame them for wanting to come clean? Should we throw them/him in jail for his confession? This is the serious emotional problem section, so please let in the fact that some people are in really bad spots, dont know what to do, lacking love and understanding when responding.

Ya, this is a true channel. Its got love in it. Even though I have no idea what my inner child is or what an inner child is period, its got a familiar deep source love connection. Its a mystery really how this universe works and that channel or stuff like this can magically do something.