Mu_

@soos_mite_ah Yah I totally get where your coming from, for years I agonized over this thought and feelings around it. In the end, I feel you really can't say what road would of lead to what road, since ultimately you are the road and on the road so to say. I say no need for regrets and what ifs, you are here now and who knows it could be so much worse, and perhaps even much more worse if you had taken another road

@Eren Eeager Man all these posts and 1 recommendation? Geez. Check out Tony Robbins, he's more highly motivational and gots lots of depth in him, and does really care for helping people out of suffering. This documentary changed a lot of judgements I had on him. https://core.tonyrobbins.com/documentary/

@Stephen I mean if it’s something you enjoy why not do it. Why wait for the universe to tell you it’s ok? I get what you mean the universe is one and it’s all of us fundamentally, but that realization is not saying you can’t enjoy doing good as you see it. You could spend the rest of your life in your head thinking about the realization and if it means you should do this or do that or not this or not that or you can just go live now and do you so to say. And if that falls into some universal defined way, then so be it, how could it be otherwise? You think you could act in a way the universe didn’t intend or allow? That would be like saying the universe created a way that can’t happen yet does happen. Or that it created a way not to happen, that when it does happen it will displease it and it will then blame that which it created and allowed to act as its able to or not able to?

Well it may help to get to Absolute Consciouness before speculating about it. I had similar fears and they didn't turn out.

@molosku Ram Dass, hes my fav. And hes got a great sense of humor, or atleast I think so

@Shin Look what the cat dragged in.

oh my god, I never thought I'd hear you say these words, lol. Did my multiple paragraphs or others finally open something up in which you see the difference now?

See how he reacts to this. Isn't it true that he is understanding "there is nothing to understand" and based upon this understanding he's going about with this new belief system, way of thinking and way of life? Really doing "there is nothing to understand" so to say, is not even doing or understanding "there is nothing to understand", its not a Way in which someone figures out how to do it but a Way in which is unfolding already.

And what if one hasn't accomplished any of these "things?", or only some, what would be the problem with that?

@roopepa Thanks man, appreciate it.

@EntheogenTruthSeeker You sure you were not high and eating fried wantons, and a piece of one just fell on your leg? Sometimes we space out or do stupid stuff and think its a sign from god, lol.

Ya I've felt similar stuff under similar conditions. Its normal in my book, but if its not normal in yours, I'd imagined it would bring concern. Nothing to worry about if you ask me.

I like you and all but it seems to me you have a habit of making posts that are kinda like questions, but then they are also just about you having an idea that you want to stick to. I get what your saying why do you assume I don't?, but it doesn't seem like there is anything in you open to learning anything other then what you think is 100% true. If your not confused and your all good why the threads? Leave it at that, no need to ask any questions right?, and no need to teach anyone here. Again, my sense of you, is you discovered in your experience that the idea's that you thought you were, were not true, which is a great realization, and then you said this is no-self, which is as good as any word. You then made some conclusion about what this means and one of those ideas is its not possible to make a choice to change which you say was based on your observations of awareness. And these are good observations. Still all good, however its not the be all end all of "totality". What if no-self has a sort of conscious intention to it or an ability to go hey I'm in pain here and my beliefs that I'm aware of about my body seem to be connected to this pain, maybe this means something and perhaps in looking at this something can change (kinda like the observations you made when you looked and saw that a package of thoughts and beliefs wasn't you, but something other that was aware of them). Does this make sense? If not, and its not important, and your all good, and there's nothing you need or can learn, then leave the forum at peace and keep being. Again, come back to the forum when you feel like there's something missing, until then, it just seems like your convinced and "happy?" and not open to more, which again is fine.

You see the problem here. You claim that you focused awareness upon itself and realized no one is there and never was and that choice isn’t real, but yet you claim your not there. So what’s going on then.

What is no-self if there isn’t anyone or anything there to recognize anything or make a claim that there is no choice? Careful of what you believe, don’t believe and claim is absolute, it may seal your fate to suffering that could of been related to in other ways, hadn’t such rigid beliefs been let be.

@Someone here I’m pretty sure if I pulled a gun on you and said you make one more post and I’ll shoot you and your family, a miracle of a choice in you will arise and you’ll magically seem to make that choice to not do so. What does his mean, lol....... well it’s not as clear. I think what is important here is keeping this question with in the context of what you want because otherwise it gets to abstract. From past posts it seems like what you have begun to realize and want to be different is in relation to how it feels to be in a body and all the ideas tied to this pain/uncomfortable happening. A saying I like a lot is pain is a wonderful push or creator of new solutions and approaches. What this means for you is perhaps you haven’t suffered enough for a solution to arise, one of which I’ve asked you to be open to, that perhaps there is something that resembles choice which you’ve claimed is a illusion or not real. Something that if seen would allow you to go hey I’m done believing these ideas of the body and open to new ideas or no ideas about ‘the body’. Until then suffering will remain with you claiming I can’t do anything about it, which is just as much a lie that your holding as truth.

@Raptorsin7 Just take steps, now, doesnt matter what you feel or think. You won't want to do it, but you can still run, eat less shitty stuff and lift weights even when you don't feel like it or think you want to. Just do the action. If you wait for the feeling or thought to do it, or for that resistant voice to go away before you take action, you could be waiting the rest of your life, sometimes you just gotta act despite all those things.

Sorry bud, but you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself and take some steps, hell do it while feeling sorry for yourself. Also from what I've gathered from friends who have degrees that dont hire a lot of people, is some companies will hire for jobs that people dont have a degree in as long as they have a degree of some sort, it just shows that you can learn. Just look at the qualifications of a job you may like or a field you want to get into, sometimes its just learning some extra skills +proving you've gone through a 4 year degree to land a job. But ya, work on yourself dude, I believe ya.

@meow_meow and yes, your free to get in touch with me if you like.

Sounds rough man, I feel for ya. That said, I think your in a better spot then you realize, at least you know this instead of it just being a mystery and being thrown around by forces you just dont understand. I believe the first step in this process is to stop blaming your parents, its just not going to help or get anywhere, you could spend your whole life doing so and it would only make you feel either justified the way you are or infinitely resentful and still no closer to being what you want to be. Next start taking smaller steps choosing 1-2 things you want to work on or towards and just commit and do them, this may mean working out 2-3 times a week to start and then maybe maxing out at 4, taking your time to reach that over the course of a 2-3 months. Gradual over doing as much as you can humanly muster, but don't just half ass and do a few minutes here and there and just flake and pig out and disconnect on games (sure you can still do some of this, just keep it as a reward for times after you accomplished your new goals). I'd start with (diet, sleep and exercise) as 1 block, because you'll get the biggest feel good results, and 2. I'd work on maybe freshening up your job skills or taking some classes if you need to. What kind of work are you looking for and what qualifications or schooling have you done so far? Its really this simple on a certain level, and the sooner you just start the easier it will be, it may require you to call your own shit sometimes (dont be a raging asshole to yourself) and suck up some "I dont want to do it now" feelings and thoughts, but generally when you get started and keep with it, the thoughts become less heavy (not always, and sometimes you just have to go through this).

@meow_meow Mahmoud already commented on what I was partially going to say but ya drop trying to deprecate things during meditation. And stop looking and identifying what the observer is and is not. Wouldnt you say without looking for or looking for such an observer, awareness is already taking place in the process of looking and not looking. It’s so obvious it’s not even funny. I’m not talking about a supposed god consciousness with unique qualities, just the fact that it’s obvious reading this sentence right now is taking place.

@BlackMaze reread what I said and keep coming back to it to remind yourself on perhaps a daily basis. Let it sink in. It’s not a logical thing to learn, it happen when it does, just like seeing or hearing, it’s just something that happens. I’m guessing something about what I said struck you deeply somehow and you want to get it or make sure you don’t lose it. Again just keep coming back to it. Reflect on it, remind yourself of what I said in moments in which you find yourself in the situations i spoke about and it’s happening to you. In time something will hopefully click. Hey

Its all ok man, its not insanity, just part of the course for some on this pathless path. Not to scare you, but what you've shared for some is like a normal walk in the park, nothing unusual about it, but understandably for you its new. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and its not steering you of course internally and the limited communication I've had with you tells me your on the right path..... If it gets to overwhelming, its alright to just back off on your practices for a bit and just do something else, like play a game or have a few drinks with some buddies and chill out for a few days. If it sounds interesting to you, if your feeling like the meditation your doing is getting kinda stale, instead of approaching it from the angle of watching your thoughts, instead just close your eye's and let experience, which includes sounds, feelings, touch sensations, thoughts, emotions, "everything", just come up as it doesn and pass as it does, and to do so for 30-40 mins. No goal, no intention, just be.... And then maybe after a few weeks of doing so, just reflect on the difference and I'd be curious what it is.....

@Revolutionary Think @BlackMaze Ya isn't funny how life works this way. not all disasters are bad, not all circumstances are the same thing for each person, not all bodily, financial or monetary outward stuff means the same thing to each person. Letting this in can free your life deeply. If you can really see this perhaps this can help you let go of what "other" people thing, so or believe about you. This is true wether your in the room with the person or people, or over the internet. AND most importantly to notice and perhaps let in, is the voices in your head that tell you what "you" think the other person thinks or believes about "you" and how these images impact your moment to moment experience in negative ways (sure there are positive ways these can impact you but no need to do anything about those since they are positive), and to find the power or confidence to see through this or just let the voice say what they say and not be impacted.

Who says your not grateful enough? Do you agree? What would you do to be more grateful? if that sounds good to you, do it, if not, move on.