Mu_

@Someone here all very enlightening. But who are you talking to so frustratedly?

@Javfly33 I don't know if I or anyone can answer the question your asking with certainty, but perhaps this shift of perspective can help create some ease in your pursuit and day to day. It sounds like you may be looking at your awakenings and path from the lens that You are and the ego is not that and its supposed to go away or shouldn't be there. If this resonates, how about instead of something like that, looking at it like, "You woke up to MORE of what you are, and this thing you label as Ego is apart of that and not an enemy to destroy or should of never been there or should go away". "Something" is obviously there that your calling Ego, just let it exist and focus your attention on how you want to be or what choices are you making that are not serving you well, and changing those or learning to relax into just being that way. Because often a lot of what we dont like about ourselves and call Ego, isn't really that much of a problem to anyone else, its just in our own idea that we think its not good or shouldn't be that way. Any of this make sense? If not, feel free to ask for clarification. Also this does not mean you can't explore into depths that require perhaps surrender, none-trying, meditation, psychedelics or pushing with effort, but again, when those things "happen" its MORE of the infinite dimension of possibility and depth of what You are, not EXACTLY what You are.

@soos_mite_ah lots of good advice here. I to was going to point out what pretty India and the other user said about stability. Hmmmm speaking from my own experience, something similar happened and brought me to question stability to, and in doing so I saw that since life is change and chaos of sorts, the only real stability is in accepting change and chaos. It is stability when you accept no stability as the natural foundation. When I let this deeply in, it automatically shifted things, and change was less a problem and instead I was put face to face with the old emotion and thought patterns of wanting stability and an exact comfy experience I was hoping for. This of course brought on a new stage you could say, one in which took a level of courage and inner reminder and acceptance that life is change and to relax and not seek out/surrender these old wants and wishes. Ego backlash is another way of phrasing it. Another thing maybe to try and may be useful is to stop labeling yourself as ego and not ego. And instead of trying to get rid of ‘ego’ just change what is about your negative habits or patterns that influence your life. Make sure your doing it because you see and understand why it’s effecting you and not because you read some interpretation of what ego or enlightenment I and what your supposed to do to make that happen (most of this shit is just silly ideas and interpretations). But if you just change what isn’t working for you, it makes it so much more simple and in line with you and your life, not someone else’s spiritual dogma and beliefs.

@xxxx you can never really know. I’d say make an assessment, make a decision, and live with the outcome.

You seem to understand enough. Even in uncertainty, you seem know such and In this sense you always know. Unless upon realizing this your not sure ? if you could be certain of uncertain or certain ?

I sometimes like to call it organic origination. It can be incredibly freeing for some because it just cuts through the game of trying to be a "non-doer" or gives back permission to a part of "actuality" to function freely. Sometimes when one goes down the rabbit hole of constantly trying to keep this false idea going that they are not the doer and all the lingo that comes with it and all the things it means about them (usually feeling like they are now more enlightened and if they were to face they are not, it would bring them crashing back down to being an EGO, lol or some other word, and face to face with the feelings around the idea's of being a doer). Another aspect of this is one found great freedom in understanding an aspect of non-doership and unconsciously adopted a new dogma in which if they were to question it would ruin what they felt they gained by understanding "nondoership".

Ya if your still open to this practice stick with it for a period, and let me know what comes up. Its really healthy to look at whats scary about behind "doership", such as responsibility, pressure, feeling responsible and thus perhaps obligated to suffer for getting "doership" wrong or right.... Also its really helpful to realize that doership doesnt conflict with chaos, surrender, nondoership. But none of this will make sense if one just clings to non-doership, particularly if its done when they are just hiding from the idea's behind what they think it means. Let me know if this makes sense.... you could almost say what I'm saying is "doership" and "nondoership" are just mind idea's. There's a healthy functioning of happening that is not either, but experiences arise that "feel" like either. hahahaha......

First of all sorry for the suffering, it sounds like a shit show and must be visceral. I know Ive been down that road of the mind going wild and reality really seeming that way. That said and since your open to new perspectives, the only thing that stood out in your writing is you talked about yourself in 3rd person and labeled yourself as the ego. Why not trying to just let in and say I felt this way, I believed this, and perhaps in the future "I" can remind myself next time something of this nature happens, that "I" can remind myself and safely assume, "I'm" just freaking out. Id be curious how this feels and you react to this. It may be a radical shift, it may bring up some fundamental ideas that are in conflict with eachother. It may bring up judgements and assumptions and internal turmoil, that "you" can feel see and understand and perhaps organically relax and accept, creating greater self-Self-Love and understanding and no-inner/outer fighting/fear.

What is confusing in this that you didn't get? Sounds like you understood some.

@EmptyVase but what does putting it on a scale or making a claim about one or the other have to do with if those things exist or not. Do you think the scale and ideas of these activities makes the other go away or less desired? Or do both so to say exist and scales or thoughts about them make no difference. Maybe they will ‘be’ there wether or not we feel they are higher better lower or encouraged towards one Hope that makes sense. Food for thought. P.S. don’t get me wrong I advocate for kindness and environmentalism is part of that, but higher or lower, objectively better/worse is what I’m pointing to. From the point of each embodied organism or conscious entity better or worse is relative to them and may not be great for you or I but for them.

Absolutely love this meditation Bentinho just released. Deeping ones own connection with the infinite is a never ending possibility and this meditation is perfect to approach something that you may do already or feel like you've outgrown, new again.

Fondue?

By letting go of the ideas and hate or unfounded opinions on it. Then in that remainder something can newly emerge. Think of all those as a type of soil that’s been in the ground all these years. When you remove those ingredients the soil will grow something new.

@EmptyVase does perspective need to be on a scale? What if it’s not. Does it really matter?

Awesome thanks for sharing. One of those guys has done a lot of interviews with non dual teachers who has a interesting youtube channel

@whatthefucksgoinon from my experience and everything I’ve read the answer would appear to be more likely. There may be times of more thoughts but one thing that can be realized is thoughts aren’t heavy or disturbing in and of themselves. So for some awakenings thought doesn’t have to change for freedom and peace to be achieved, since thought has no intrinsically negative attributes.

I'm just an American from the West coast, living in on the East Coast for the last 18 years.

He has a slightly different hierarchy when talking about consciousness, he actually puts god one level after Infinite consciousness. Not sure I follow or agree, but its how he breaks down "This" into different ways of articulation.

@Sahil Pandit Pretty cool thanks for sharing. Got a special place in my heart for games, esports and the scene. I use to work for LucasArts, was a top 15-20 player in quake 2, placed in top 16 of the first 2 professional gaming league tournaments for quake 2. Good luck with your dreams, more then ever you can make a life playing games, lol, still blows my mind we've come to this possibility in the world (and not in a negative way).

Let me know what you think. I know a lot of you guys at this point based upon being exposed to a lot of questions challenges and confusions I see commonly posted on this forum, and while there are some of you who have a good thing going in terms of understanding metaphysical pointers and how they are useful for creating positive change in your life, there's a lot of you who need something more down to earth and more relatable and obvious to stabilize and grow from. While it doesn't give you a how to, like a manual on how to lift weights effectively, the knowledge and letting in of a new perspective has its own transformative benefits, so long as your open and keep reminding yourself of it perspective, and especially when you catch yourself falling into old habits of thinking and feeling about yourself or how the world "statically" is (like its a negative place, or life is a negative place or happening). Let me know what you think or if you have any questions...

Thanks for sharing, thats very sweet.

Thanks man. Ya my cat is amazing our bond and love has increased each year for 6 years now. Same with his sister. I catch them going into sahmadhi states like myself when just chilling in the living room. I think they’ve felt some of the things I’ve accessed in meditation and fall into it themselves now.

This was actually the point I was kinda making. Imagine even letting go of relative and non dual notions. It’s a very different experience then strict argumentative distinctions of either or both together. Metaphorically you could say it’s almost like going from solipsism to a non dual shift. The further and deeper you go on this path the more subtle you could say it becomes.

@soos_mite_ah maybe you need less forms of help and more forms of just getting out and having fun ?

@Nahm what gave you the idea I was writing off something. Then maybe I could answer. Obviously if your pointing to “something” called experience then it would be silly for me to absolutely say it’s not there/happening since obviously “something” is happening, just not sure I’d limit it to symbols and meanings given to “experience”. Nor would I limit it to nondual, absolute or relative. Nor even limit It to inclusion of all those and Everything.