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Or another interesting way to put it. Is there is a notion of the world you have or is experienced. In this there is generally a what is okay and what isn’t okay or just a what something is. Theres me a body or or a what ever and a other thing out there or a car or money. Then spiritual people tend to go through a process of labeling externals such a s money fame sex as dualities and internal wisdom truths, and experience and knowledge as Truth, Real, not the illusion dualism world. However this duality or dualism split is just labels of mind and can even create new what’s good and what s bad and what’s important and not important, what’s real and what’s not real. and ya even calling it mind that does this is saying to much and kinda wrong.

Well now days, you can meditate in a cave for 24 hrs while streaming. At the same time someone can be sucking your dick/sex, youd be gaining fame online, and receiving donations/money with magical internet buttons. . So there you go, lol. But a more serious response maybe that to just notice that extreme dualities are in mind/definitions/language/beliefs. When some degree of understanding settles in from this, there can be less needing or activity of pushing/pulling/defending such ideas and activities When living within the world.

Thanks for sharing man. Ya I totally understand and can relate. If I were in your shoes I'd really look at your beliefs around the notions that you are responsible for your thoughts and mind. I'd also look into the idea that certain thoughts and states of mind are any more good or evil then another. Perhaps thoughts are just thoughts no matter how grotesque or sexual or flowery and sunny. They are just thoughts and don't mean good or bad about you or anyone, just energy perhaps. I'd also look into the notion that you are responsible for the thoughts that occur. Do you control what thoughts you have any more then you control your hair growing, or the feeling of sun striking your skin? And if not, then why would you hold yourself to blame. Here's a little video from Alan Watts on the subject....

Thanks for share, I love Lisa, she had a big influence on me at one point.

Ya the little of Matt kahn I know, I see him highlighting the positive as the central message. It may of subconsciously influenced me and my style so to say at one point, along with a few others. The energy behind the words is most important, I remember I spent the at least a year, almost two before I had a very large awakening that I listened to hours of teachers but didn't pay attention to the words. Every once and a while a saying would sink in or create a ahah, but it was the energy that left the biggest impression. My thoughts on the whole ego thing is that while it may have its merits, along with the illusion message, it has its confusions in the mind as well. All messages though may have this inherent possibility of confusion in them.

Sounds like your seeing what you use to call yourself from a distance within the awareness that you are. This can be a very strange and hard process to go through. Not sure if this will help, but look a little more closely. There's a lot more then you just thinking. Notice there is thinking, and colors, and warm stuff and cold stuff and round stuff, and various densities and softnessess of stuff, theres gradations of emotion and pleasures and roughness and varies gradations of uncomfortablnesses. Look into this, it may help you out of this stuck thinking of being just thinking and a false me and not real. Again all these notions arise in a vastness of gradations of experience.

Your welcome, out of curiosity anything in particular stood out for you? I have a feeling this is something a lot of serious seekers go through in themselves at some point looking for Truth.

I found this in another forum. I thought some of you might find it interesting. I have found interesting the two recent newsletters that Jeff Foster has sent to his followers, about his challenge to serious health problems. I leave here both links in case anyone is interested or knows something or wants to comment: 1) "I WASN’T PREPARED FOR THIS” — ILLNESS AND THE ACHE OF NOW (5th April 2021): http://r.lifewithoutacentre.com/acg5x5bbedt7e.html?t=1617644519 2) “I WRITE BOOKS ABOUT ACCEPTANCE... BUT I JUST CANNOT ACCEPT THIS”. — A Confession. (1st May 2021): http://r.lifewithoutacentre.com/mk/mr/nKauvvrCJ8OLrBhtl3_WWyJhPiPX3Omt8ZvYdn2aMIsAbIIeMNT6HxbCcWBe46RBt9Zc3B5snE0RnjhXoAMtjt83H5vcXnYPM_qAtAX1eCIJOeeC

I can see the resemblance. Not a bad look to have at that age.

@Brandon Nankivell You never know, but at a certain point, it may become unimportant one way or the other, but this is a high level of surrender.

Sounds like you may be approaching this from the point of view that if you do certain things, like "the power of letting go" or remaining conscious and aware of them they will shift/integrate/move/change. And while this may appear to work for some, it may not do anything or even make things stick around longer approaching it this way. Ask yourself what are some positives that have come from this approach, say thank you and try a new approach. This one may be one to try out, maybe I'll make a video and post it here. basically its about "you become more of what you focus on". For example, if you start to feel and experience these uncomfortable things you do during these times you describe, instead of focusing on them/remaining fully conscious of them/figuring out why they are there or how they got there, shift your attention. You see from a certain perspective you are actually magnifying them like a magnifier glass just by the nature of your interest/attention. So what do I mean by shift or how do you do it. Well I bet the next time you are going through one of the above mention discomfort, if your are honest and slightly scanning or aware, you will notice in that moment there is a VAST variety of subtle experiences going on at the same time that unpleasantness is happening, and not all of them are uncomfortable. Some might be warm, some might be bright, some might be soothing, some might be blurry, some might pleasant, some might be odd, some might be happy and yes some might even be more unpleasant.. Now once you can see this for yourself, your half way there. Now with this attention you seem to have, focus it on any one of the experiences in your awareness/magnifier glass and just hold it there. I'd recommend focusing on a more pleasant one then the one that has been bothering you so much. Now don't put to much attention of though on this process, just focus on the new sensation and what you may find starts to happen is your systemic experience may start to shift and match the experience your awareness is focusing. You will start to become more pleasant. This is going to take practice, but like a muscle and soon muscle memory, you will be able to do this freely/it will start to happen on its own. Now one temptation that will arise in the mind is, "hey what about those old experiences that are uncomfortable, are they still happening", resist this temptation, following them will literally recreate them and they will appear and magnify again. This is the simplistic description, but it did wonders for me. yes there will be days where it won't work, it may feel like you failed since things got good/great for a while but then the old stuff came back, but keep coming back to the new practice, its all part of the process. Ego backlash is real and does happen, so just don't linger/focus on it, just shift your attention to something positive. This can also work by instead of focusing on the negative, just smile. Some questions that may come up or try to take you away from the practice, such as "hey, aren't I avoiding my emotions or whats going on". Nope, your just focusing on something else going on in your own experience, whether or not the old stuff is there or what it means is not of concern, it never actually was "inherently, written in a bible" important, you just happen to find yourself in it and focusing on it.

He had a big heart and encouraged others to embrace pain and struggle as part of life. He’s worth listening to.

In a few basic examples I'm going to explain why an experience of oneness/sameness/connected is not even a crazy notion, it actually makes more sense than believing being separate. Most people with some basic degree of analytical skills, can make a few distinctions that would reveal that the most obvious thing going on on earth is contentedness/sameness/oneness. Just by asking what am I made of, a kid could trace back on google a few answers to this question. Where do animal's a plants come from = the earth What do animals and plants share in common to grow, live and be what they are = water Where does water come from = clouds and earth/bodies of water What do people eat to grow = water, plants, animals Oh what do we breath = tree's = water, sun/energy, other earth particles Now you could take this another step further and understand the basic structures that make up water, plants and animals and you'd find out its energy, protons and electrons and various other particles = everything is those. Now with this knowledge wouldn't an experience that you are One/Same/Connected actually make more sense than one that you are separate?

I'm happy to hear that, sometimes a glimpse is all we need to believe first hand a look a little deeper....

The body is like a mold of clay thats shaped a particular way, just as a orange is the same clay shaped a different way, its all still clay.....

You can basically understand the contentedness of this planet by just brain storming what comes from what..... Planet earth gives rise/birth to people, people come from various sources of organic matter from earth, water from various sources, air from various plants, plants the require clouds and rain, animal that people eat come from same sources. Tree's and rocks come from earth and various processes that took place on earth and from space. All this is connected/same material/interdependent. Now wouldn't it make more sense that you felt connected to it all as it literally being you, then it would to feel as though your separate for it, since it would actually line up with whats actually true? The experience of being separate is literally the opposite experience of whats true.

I think your on to something. I like something about the way you phrased this. I can relate to this more then a traditional view or idea of enlightenment sometimes thrown around, although I can relate to both. That said, I know there's more to it and have disappeared into stuff that goes beyond language or means I can express as well.

Its what I made them for, hope they can help others.

@OneIntoOne What do you mean, not believing the mind? From that, I'd more likely be able to give a technique.

Your valuable. Hope you let that in. Really, you reading this, don't brush it off....

Thanks man, right back at you, you've got a good heart.

I feel ya, some issues still arise and are aggravating if I'm being honest. That said, it helps to recognize that there is stuff in life that I am grateful for and that there's always someone out there that has it worse. Somehow that can help shift aggravating stuff. Honestly though, it sounds like your putting in the effort and work, and for that I'm proud of ya, sorry nothing has clicked yet, its not easy to go through this type of long lasting pain. I made some video's that share some perspectives on suffering that may be helpful. If not, keep open and inquiring and trying, eventually something will click, don't give up on yourself. Also magic bullet solutions are rare, often it takes daily reminders to keep your heart open and not folding under life challenges and health problems that seem to arise and be common in life.

@Zion Sounds like you may be in a what do I want to do with my time/life phase weighing the pro's and con's of your next choices. This is a good thing. Are you content now, are things good enough? If so, why seek something more, just explore your interests and what you like to do. Enlightenment wont necessarily give you happiness or ever lasting fulfillment. I honestly wouldn't pursue enlightenment until you feel like it pulls you towards the drive, from your heart. I definatly wouldn't pursue it if you feel like your supposed to because thats what it says in a book or video you watched. And god forbid if you didn't your bound to suffer living life any other way.

@RedLine How does it feel when you can just let them be there in some form, not resisting or judging or wanting them to change? From your response I can maybe help further. Is what I'm asking something that makes sense first of all?

This is Not a be all end all communication of such on the matter nor is any communication but it is a pretty simple pointer that appears to work for some. Enjoy.