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I feel ya, some issues still arise and are aggravating if I'm being honest. That said, it helps to recognize that there is stuff in life that I am grateful for and that there's always someone out there that has it worse. Somehow that can help shift aggravating stuff. Honestly though, it sounds like your putting in the effort and work, and for that I'm proud of ya, sorry nothing has clicked yet, its not easy to go through this type of long lasting pain. I made some video's that share some perspectives on suffering that may be helpful. If not, keep open and inquiring and trying, eventually something will click, don't give up on yourself. Also magic bullet solutions are rare, often it takes daily reminders to keep your heart open and not folding under life challenges and health problems that seem to arise and be common in life.

@Zion Sounds like you may be in a what do I want to do with my time/life phase weighing the pro's and con's of your next choices. This is a good thing. Are you content now, are things good enough? If so, why seek something more, just explore your interests and what you like to do. Enlightenment wont necessarily give you happiness or ever lasting fulfillment. I honestly wouldn't pursue enlightenment until you feel like it pulls you towards the drive, from your heart. I definatly wouldn't pursue it if you feel like your supposed to because thats what it says in a book or video you watched. And god forbid if you didn't your bound to suffer living life any other way.

@RedLine How does it feel when you can just let them be there in some form, not resisting or judging or wanting them to change? From your response I can maybe help further. Is what I'm asking something that makes sense first of all?

This is Not a be all end all communication of such on the matter nor is any communication but it is a pretty simple pointer that appears to work for some. Enjoy.

This is oddly satisfying.

@GoobyBooby There is no such "thing" as alone. One/Not Two is not alone and thus lonely. This is not the case.

If your interested in shifting your perspective this video takes you step by step through a way of seeing and understanding that is generally not considered or thought about. Most people are not able to make the leap to its all god or love or infinity or a mystery that can't be said. This video helps take common assumptions and stretches them to perhaps open up for new possibility and understanding.

Yes and no. Sometimes by using the apparent conceptual frame work to expand it, till it reaches a point in which a transition from it can occur is equally useful. Lets say your native language is English. Its like trying to get you to understand Russian, without using English in relation to it. Most likely you won't ever do so, or it will take you a very long time. But by using English, you eventually start to make connections and become fluent. The only subtle difference here, is at a certain point, something other than English and Russian will be seen, and from that you no longer are coming from either.

Well what is complex? Isn't the implication of the word only "real" in relation its opposite, less complex/simple. just words really, but the notions behind them only make sense in relation to one another. One can not exist with out the contrast of the other. Yin/yang symbol can't be understood with only yang.... Yang only makes sense with Yin. Same with capable. More capable only exists with the understanding of its counterpart, less capable. I can drive, jump, and swim. You can drive and jump. It is what it is. But then you can say, I'm more capable, because I'm able to do more things. Which only means anything in relation to its counter part "less things". You could also say the statement I"m more capable, because I'm able to do more things, is only true because you and other who agree believe it to be. Which is true in its own way. But so is the statement I dont believe it is true.... Not sure if this last part is confusing.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if your looking for advice on understanding or perhaps feeling "yellow/Turquoise". Let go of the spiral, and its supposed merits and negatives in relation to supposed higher and lower rungs of colors. Just eliminate the idea of something higher, more complex, more inclusive, more of something in relation to a supposed lower color. Connect on humanness and similarities of being human. What does everyone share? Struggles, families/responsibilities/feelings for, survival, all enjoy pleasures and feeling good in some way, good days, bad days...... Look into this from a different angle. Is a beaver more important then a human? Such question requires value judgments and criteria unique to each person hearing the question. Answer from each are all equally relative. Look into similarieties and likeness of sharedness. Even notions of complex and more capable are relative.... This may get you a little closer to what your looking for.

Really good video mate. Ive become a big fan of chill-step video's with wisdom teachers telling short knowledge bombs.

Your right, its a very confusing word for some, heck I didn't use it for the first 16 years on the "path" so to say, but then something changed, perhaps the word had more weight for me since I never used it. Perhaps its the worst word to use in general, I've thought about this. That said, I'm using the word god in some subtle ways which maybe you've not considered. Sometimes everything/everywhere/you still brings up notions of a "something-other" thats IN everything or everywhere or is you. God in the way used here is the Subject with no other parts that form it or are in included in it, nor were there ever. There is no everywhere, or things in which a god could be in or a you in which are a part of something called god. Just The Only.

Its not a he or a she, its not a thing, its not a wanter or a none wanter and has relation to everything. This very reading that is happening now, is god in action with an experience of a voice most likely going, I'm not god, this isn't god, I'm reading.

@WonderSeeker Just god playing around.

You may find this article interesting, as it shows how brain metaphors and metaphors in general have effected thinking and beliefs. It goes over how metaphors of different time periods influenced how we spoke about and understood the brain (this is true for many aspects we hold as true with each body part, the way the world works, what its about, what its called). https://www.wired.com/beyond-the-beyond/2016/05/since-brains-not-computer/ After reading this, ask yourself is "organic" actually so, or is it a way of seeing/thinking/talking. Same for "brain". Same for "physical".

@Kalo Mmm What do you mean The god and its all god? If we want to approach this from a logical vantage point, which isn't the only way to approach this, What material or energy would god use to create stuff, if there is only god to begin with? It could only use itself. If its not only God to begin with, where did supposedly stuff begin, to form God so that it could create stuff and Us?. Nothingness or mysterious processes? Okay, so those processes are Prime, create god, which creates us, which is ultimately the same. We are all Prime, or original procesess which have no name and have always been the original. Or... Do you think there is God, and then stuff that God creates supposedly us with, like material hanging around IT to make stuff? If so, then where would this material come from. If not, what would god do or use to create us? Intention, thought, magical God motions/sounds/uncomprehensible stuff? And where does this come from. God?

@Spiral Wizard Congrats, a much needed message for those at an apparent bottom or just getting started. A lot of what you said sounds a lot like my own journey. Keep it up.

@Unemployed It gets interesting that there is no illusion to begin with to get sucked back into. The literal thing you call awake and then going back to illusion is the same. Same is true for the you you think you are.

@Holygrail How do you prove the world is finite?

@Blackhawk So why let your own words or beliefs apply to yourself. Best thing that helped me when I was in the same situation, was not to listen to myself and beliefs either and all the negative confused talk that went on in the head. A lot of just sitting quitly, listening to music, walks, bike rides, bilinuar beats, some occasional psychodelics and let life work its silent magic on ya.

@Jacob Morres I'd say trust, but many more could probably work as well.

@BlurryBoi If you still feel like you have will and control and stoicism works for you, then continue to do so. If and when its naturally seen that control was never needed nor was able, then it will be so, and such questions as this won't be asked. Trying to not be in control, will only tie you in knots of believing your not there or in control and likely won't serve you. Side note: neither experience is better, worse or more true than the other, but don't dwell to much on what this means if it doesn't click, its not important.

@Endangered-EGO keep trying other ways, one will eventually click. You can try this one if you like. Assuming you feel like there is an inner an and outer world/experience. While you meditate Try and focus the attention on one, and then gently on the other. Keep doing this back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Slower and slower and slower. Keeping keen attention on that infinitesimally small moment of space/experience between when the outer becomes the inner and the inner becomes the outer.. Whats there going from one to the other, keep feeling, keep questioning. whats inner, whats outer, is there a transition between one to the other, like a line, or is this line imagination. Does this make sense? A meditation like this may be done for any amount of time, but I'd try at least 20 minutes, perhaps with some relaxing music in the background to keep the mind engaged, while you just pay attention to this sense of reality

@Flyboy If the word impermanence and what its signifying is keeping you locked in a debate if even that is true and if so, can someone prove it, my advice to you would be to let it go, its ultimately not important. The flavor of the soup that Buddhism and awakening is pointing is whats important, not the ques, words and pointers used to help the mind drop such desires such as attachment or wanting to keep something longer then is physically possible. Again, the words are just meant to awaken that magical Aha. If you get to focused and combative around it, its lost its usefulness.

You sure about that?