Mu_

Yes it is very difficult to tell where the ego begins and ends, in fact it may not even be there. How do you know there is an ego? Does something in you have a sign on it telling you its ego? Honest question. Not trying to be hard on you. But its worth a look and consideration if your interested in Truth. If you don't know, good, thats the first step in being up to Truth. Not know if there is a ego is a much more honest place then believing there is a false ego, or creating all sorts of stories in your mind of what is and isn't ego.

Nothing =/= indifferent, thats worth contemplating if your interested in Truth. Its a trap for many minds to believe non-ego is indifferent. That indifference and how it feels and means to you, is a interpretation and a projection you may then act from. This is very subtle and most never see past this point.

Sounds like to me you may be ready to tell fear, fuck you. Fear happens to you, you do not happen to fear. Fuck what it says. Live what you want and walk forward with fear if it cares to come with you. Fear is your bitch, you are not fears bitch. Feel free to visit my site or send me a message, I may be able to help if you want to talk more about this. If not, it may be wise to talk to someone professionally about this.

This may sound weird, but just be a little depressed and sad for a while, while taking care of what you need to in your life to survive. Maybe you may even need to tell people you usually hang out with you just need to process some stuff and that you'll see them in a few weeks. Just a little you time. Sleep more if you need, be alone more if you need, treat yourself more then you usually would, and cry a lot about those you've lost and the loving memories and appreciation you have of them. Play music that helps you connect with feelings if that feels good. Be mad and sad at life and god if necessary. Be confused if that happens. Then in a few weeks just check in and see if your ok and if you'd like to get back to how things were before this happened living how ever it was you did before along with any lessons you learned along the way (may happen sooner). I'd be curious to hear from you in a few weeks and hear how that worked for you.

Do you have a notepad of Jim Newman and Tony Parsons quotes you look to for answers to each of these questions? Or are you actually Jim, pretending to be VeganAwake? Poke Poke

Hi kras, How old are you? Are you in school, work, hobbies? Is there some sort of goal your working towards or things you like or are good at?

Sounds like your in a "strangeloop". Sorry for the pun, but I've noticed a lot of user names match how people see themselves or the quality of life they have. I'm not sure how to exactly help you, but I have been down my own depressive road before and wanted to die, and deeply thought about and almost went through suicide. First thing I'd get to the bottom of is if you had a choice between relaxing or going through what you are, would you choose to relax? If so, what are some things that relax you? Maybe do some more of that, and if this negative voice comes up, just say hey, lets just relax, thats what we want. This may only work if you deeply get to the truth if you'd rather suffer or relax. Sometimes a good bit of self care can help you unwind just enough to get your wits back and then maybe make some progress to getting some abs back

Are there any others judging you besides you? I mean do they tell you to your face and put you down? If not, it must just be in your belief that its going on or you feel this way some how. One thing that helped me get over my anxiety of judgement from others is realizing, I was making most of the judgements of what I thought other people thought and felt. I just believed they thought and felt this way, I didn't actually know. Also it helped to realize that most people are wrapped up in their own world thinking about what they want and run by their own desires, conditioning (this isn't a negative, just a way to explain one having an individual life experience) and most could care less to spend much time thinking about you in a negative way (sure it happens), but even then its easily seen and understood that they may have been raised that way or are impressioned by societal views about beauty, wealth, and worth. Why let your self be run by their trauma and conditioning. Basically its not personal, they are just being run by their own programming. Find empathy and understanding and let actual verbal judgments go, sure they may momentarily sting. If you still think they are true, ask yourself why, and see if its good enough a reason to dislike yourself.

What's completely indifferent whether your mother drowns or not? Non-ego? Non-ego says its indifferent whether your mother drowns or not? Or when no ones around, some statement magically arises that says its indifferent whether a mother drowns or not? Hmmm......

If there is choice and it feels like it, why not act like it? And if you don't know if there is choice, but it feels like it, why not act like? And if it doesn't feel like there is choice, but you can make what feels like a choice when needed, why not act like it? And if there actually isn't choice, but you seem to make choices, why think about it?

Just by looking at bleach you won't know if it will kill you if you drink it, there's no direct experience telling you this, yet its something you heard that I'd advice listening to. Making the argument that there is no evidence of "other" being conscious is kinda the same. Chances are there is a point of view and experience happening even if you can't feel it yourself, so be mindful and considerate maybe? What I'm saying does not go against Oneness is the case in which is being lived as all point of views.

Also don't hold to tightly to these answers/metaphors, they are not the actuality itself, hopefully pointers for you to experience what is pointed or later prepare you and not be scared shitless when it does, since you now are told of such possibilities.

Hey Leo, Since your wanting critiques of how to perhaps take a healthier step moving forward and improve how your work is understood, I'll put two things forward even if you are already attempting or doing these in some degree, and I know you are the little I've seen over the few years I've been here. 1. How do you want your work to be interpreted? And are you doing your best to do that in regards to the average emotional and spiritual development of your audience (perhaps thats not your goal and while you've made mention of this in your video's over the last 2? years, everyone still going to have their own idea of how advance they are and are going to listen/believe anyways). Can your average audience digest this stuff and if not, how are the words you choose and message your trying to get across going to be registered as. And by knowing this or getting a feel for this, how would you maybe rephrase some aspects or spend more time explaining this stuff or choose different words. 2. You seem to have a clear understanding of who you are as a person and how you come off, and acknowledge how a great deal of this is your own authenticity with some additional enjoyment of being perhaps a little provocative. You also have a good heart and care a lot. That said, lots of people like to emulate those they regard as their teacher or look up to. Do you want those emulations which are easy to outwardly replicate, but not rooted in compassion and wisdom that you have gained over the years. Like a member trying to be stern and blunt, without an actual heart underneath it. I'd guess some of the way people relate with one another here is partially happening through emulation.

I think a lot of the "criticism" is natural, I'm not trying to defend Leo what so ever, he's not my guru and honestly I have a lot of different views of things then him, and am even surprised I'm a mod on his forum. I'm just putting information out there as well as highlighting its not always easy to place a cause or "blame" on something. I get it, you feel strongly, it was a tragic thing that happened. Maybe step back for a few days, feel out what happened, ask yourself if your coming at this with your own biases. Right now you seem dead convinced of your view being objective and are coming at this rather intensely with what seems to be a blame.

@Leo Gura Its not in your direct experience that drinking bleach will kill you, but I'd advice against it. There's so much more subtly that your not fully grasping yet and should watch more of his content to round out this simplisticness.

Not from your living experience, but there are beings of awareness that do experience a much broader understanding and experience which includes more then just a single "human" view. That said, just live your life in a way that is kind and not looking to hurt others and it will go pretty smooth in terms of wondering how you should act or be.

Is it foolish for Christianity to be around and have caused (according to your reasoning) the suicide of tens of thousands of people, along with perhaps wars and cleansing in the millions. Same could be said of Buddhism in which there are wars fought from people who hold some of the more esoteric beliefs of the religion. Same goes for the Koran and I'm sure many faiths and scriptures people fight over or are motivated by and sculpt their supposed character. Or how about main stream idea's that the world is a unsafe place, or atheists who hold hard line emotional beliefs that the world is a cruel cruel place and do so with "facts" and "data" and spread this and down the road there is all these depressed people or suicidal people. Leo ain't perfect, nor is it even possible, I'm not even sure we would get that much along in real life, although I'm sure we could shoot the shit and have a good meal and be respectful to one another (who knows maybe we could), but I respect him for some of his teachings and for being honest about who he is and not really trying to be anything other for the most part. I get that this was a horrible thing and its easy to point a finger of blame on someone. I'm also pretty sure Leo's gonna be a little more mindful with words and this event will shape him differently, but to hold him "responsible" or say things like this was bound to happen is on you man....

No that includes not just "you" right here right now, but everything right here right now. Your looking at this from the point of view that "you" are the only now. Now is the only Now, and the window of experience you call "you" is thinking its just it and nothing else.

Thats pretty amazing, never heard anything like this outside of my own experience of something similar with my wife. I had this moment a few years ago were I could feel a enormous presence trying all around and it was trying to communicate, it was as though I could feel and hear it through reality itself. I wanted more verification and a little while later my wife was smoking some weed, I wasn't, and she came in and I could feel this presence as her/in her. Without talking I asked some questions in my mind such as can you hear me, do you want to communicate with me, and I did this with no indication I was doing this towards her. Each time I did this mentally, she smiled and nodded and looked at me as though she heard me, loved me and was answering as this presence. It was surreal, the most mind blowing experience ever. Theres maybe been equally mind shattering stuff since then, but to have this loving presence commentate through another person like that, my wife in fact, who had not much experience with his kinda stuff was just, lol wtf.....

The best way I can answer this for you is if I were to cut off your penis would it hurt, would you be left with the pain and difficulty of what that means your life from that point on?

And only if you'd realize some of that is your own possible projection and we live in a somewhat mysterious place in which "what is" is not exactly easy to claim as certainly as we see, feel, think and like That said you "may" have some points.... and sometimes that is the best we can say.

@Someone here If you got 25 mins these might help with some of the questions you are wondering..... Also a number of teachers such as Frank Yang, bentinho massaro, and I believe a few famous Indian mystics make the claim that its only when you fully let go of what you know, does the flame of Truth reveal itself and give rise to true wisdom. This was my experience it seemed as well. It wasn't a comfortable place to be in since its hard to go against the forces of ones own mind so to say, but again each person may have a different experience of going through this. It also seems that in the empty mind and a place of not know, the activity of being arises when needed, although not always perfect or ideal sometimes lol, but still a wisdom and a free flow of character that is a mystery. Its hard to put words though, what I just described has disappeared as well for the most part as an experience..... Its really a mystery and that is part of Truth in my opinion, but so is everything else, lol. I know often on this forum, this God awakening thing is seen as coming to a place of high knowing, but in every way except to know its Only itself exists, thats hardly what awakening has shown me.... oh and love and compassion and wisdom seem to just pour out of no where, lol. Honestly though, its not for everyone, and yet it is everyone, not all are or need to awaken to this Truth, Truth is doing much more then awakening to itself through a human view point.

100%, my comment was more coming from the response you gave in which you shared a loopty loop idea that one just gets back to something supposedly that was real to begin with and from such an idea repeats only to get enlightened again. I've been down this line of thinking and it had a kinda bondage nihilisticness to it, was only trying to help... If that wasn't true for you, lets just carry on and dance.....

Hahahaha and where would that "right back where you began" be? What was that "where you began or supposedly someone else began"? \ STOP Those images that came up when asked the above questions, are/were they true, are/were they accurate? Or just imagination? hmmmm not so easy to know or not know "what is or supposedly was"........

Hmm seems like you just did the same thing you were talking about of Leo and Frank.