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Ya pretty much, perhaps with a few caviets that seem to come from different individuals, flavors if you will, but all intrinsically the same stuff.

You want to know what Truth-realization looks like. Go look in a mirror. Go outside and look around. Its never not happening. If your waiting to be able to sit in peace while a fire burns you to a crisp and a 10 foot dildo is up your ass, your only going to be left with a melted dildo. Don't wait that long

The funny thing is though at at least from my highest realization, is there is no difference in being happy from a belief in the actual as you say, and knowing it through direct experience. The happiness is theoretically the same but not always, and the supposed separate self that is happy as a result of this true belief, is ultimately the same as one who has seen through this supposed separate self and theoretically both could lead to contentment. There's no guarantee with this stuff. Its almost fucking laughable, god damn fucking hilarous, especially being one of those that put in supposedly so much work to see this. Most serious and respected teachers however I think would have some disagreance with this.

Ya pretty much. However, it isn't "just experience", THIS is it.........

I can relate to this chain of events you've expressed in this thread, its still something in my karma that goes through this bodily system and its not easy sometimes, but its just gonna do what its gonna do, like a drug pulsing through the veins and no way to stop what it feels and seems like. However notice that without trying or thinking or wanting anything about the moment the arising of that moment just happens. This you that seems so real and failed and tried is just part of this passing moment and has no ultimate reality. Is this you that failed really YOU? Or is it the universe expressing and being just that in that moment. If you don't connect with this, then try below. When was the last time you felt pretty good and grounded? Perhaps connect with what that was like and dont be so hard on yourself. Try to find small ways just to feel pleasant, don't let your emotions and mind ramp up around this subject thats pissing you off and making you feel so much like you wasted so much time and its all meaningless. Let it be uncomfortable as well, don't fight it, but don't propogate it. Its true on some level you seem to know its meaningless, so why let this meaningless be meaningfully bothersome to you. if it truely was nothing and not anything, why would it be experessed with frustration and anger? Do you get what I'm meaning??

This kinda a question is a question that makes sense from certain seeming presumptions. One being that there is "someone" who could be anything at all. If that is seen or considered, you may realize the question of selfish or not, does not make sense, since there is no one to be selfish or unselfish. . This is similar to what @Vincent S I think was getting to, by removing a duality line. This kinda aha can also be seen when looking at such notions of what makes anything what it is? Is something a something inherently with properties that are somehow inherently imbued, like God made an apple an apple, or words, or matter, or energy or all or neither. Or is it something only by it given an opinion by a supposed "someone/something" that calls what they sense "apples, names, matter, energy". Now of course, many critical thinkers can quickly see that if it comes from a someone/something then its not inherent, and thus what ever is being referred to as a "real thing" itself is just opinion perhaps from ones senses. But if you then say ok, no this real something is inherent, then the hard question to tackle and prove is by who or what, and of course you have lots of people with "gods/or opinions" of what god thinks or made a particular something as or what makes this good and that bad, or this selfish and that unselfish (this also brings up the question, if god said its so, and it seems also gave other someone/somebodies the ability to also do the same, which is correct, is gods opinion the correct one?) But of course if your honest, or atleast feel so, the question that may arise is, how do I solve this..... Which of course if your clever, you may realize that this loop is unsolvable, since from your vantage point you don't know if there is a God to define inherent actuality, nor do you know if reality comes from senses or opinions. maybe as your reading this, you don't even know if there is anyone making up questions or not, or if its just all happening like movie running and part of that running is experiencing it...... Again what makes anything anything?

amen. Im just amazed sometimes that I even wake up some days, that somehow eyelids seem to shut, then something called a dream, and then a waking up and a still functioning organism that can stand, remember names, feel anything, amazed that from one moment to the seeming next, there is a sense of anything, seemingly consistent, sometimes random, non of it adding up or needing to add up, but then it somehow seems to and even makes sense.... what ever sense is, lol. And at others, its just laughably stupid, aggravating and then amazing again somehow....

@aetheroar If all thoughts and desires have subsided, then what is this question called god and wondering where it is? I've found when it is let go, then within this unknown that, this curious wondering about god, finds you. When you want to wake up to yourself, IT WILL, and the adventure will seem like the current you finds god and learns that it is YOU.

Ya I agree with the advice given so far, just let such questions go for now, and let life unfold. In time the questions still lingering may or may not be answered, or may become irrelevant, either way, your not missing out. Right now is always eternal and total, it could never not be. Maybe this short video can both energetically point to such and logically make a understandble connection....

What kind of question is this, lol..... as a a guy with a moderator hat on, can you elaborate on why your asking this....It seems so left field, its hilarious. Its like if I told you I'm a master swimmer, and you asked if anal the night before, helps me perform better during race day.

no, I'm just asking you a direct question on what you mean.....

Whats being referenced here? Stuff that is actually nothing? or, Something called nothing that is everything?

Ya mystery is a good word for this stuff, its an element that I feel is often lacking in spiritual inquiry and understanding. You may find value in this video, it points to a lot of what I'm talking about and what I think your wondering about. I also think since you've had a lot of experience in these matters, the video may offer some subtlety you may appreciate.

From my experience with this stuff, at a certain point it becomes impossible and irrelevant to make distinctions, since none of them were ever there in a sense, and still aren't, lol. But to see this, I'm not sure I could describe, nor could it be described, but i'll try none the less for fun. The ability to make a distinction insinuates a someone there making distinctions of this or that, jahna this jahna that. However this supposed character is under no direct control, nor an accurate determiner of any such matters, and to see this, is to see the inability to know something (this understanding can be gotten in many apparent ways, and logical connections, but none the less, it will eventually be seen that "......". It can be a real bummer experience, because this sense of self/Self that felt it knew stuff and knew things, can become real depressed and bummed to realize it could never know and never knew anything, and what it felt like it knew, was just essentially "....." This can happen pleasantly, or what feels like a long drawn out fight of self-independence. This self will argue that it knows, since its thinking and feeling it knows, however the only real truth if inquired into this idea is that there is only something happening, not necessarily the narrative this self voice believes. self experience, voice, thought, feeling, sense, experiences, spirituality, "god word", jahna's, meditation, enlightenment, only prove existence; the labels themselves aren't actually there or connected to what they feel and seem to. The problem with language and typing is generally it comes across that each of these words "experience", "voice", "thought", "feeling", "sense", "god", "enlightenment", are actually things, or phenomena or non-states or non-selfs, that are objectively and independently real, but there really isnt such, the overall happening is literally "....mystery....", and yet intuitively an understanding of such comes and goes.....

I don't know if any of us are going to match exactly want with our bodies or lifes, exactly, its just the way it is, we won't get everything we want. And understanding this, can help. Oh well, my face will always look this, my dick will always be this size, discomfort of some sort will always be somewhere in experience, or eventually. Even the voice in your head that hears this and goes, oh man that sucks, will probably always be there as well..... but hopefully you can let go into something just a little deeper that is there while and when all this is happening, that is unconcerned about such matters and at peace or atleast closer to it then a complaint And like a muscle, the more you can drop into that and come back to that, it becomes rewired or just natural, or grows (all useful metaphors).

Cravings and discomfort of various sorts are probably going to be around in some form for the rest of life. So that said, how do you want to relate to a normal part of life. Fight, anger, frustration, victimization, fear? Or maybe something more positive and relaxed? Worth looking into....

Was it fatalisticly determined that such a body/mind/machine would learn about this so called proof and information that the body/mind/neurons are fixed and cant change and as a result would then become depressed about the information? Not all body/mind/neuron machines that learn about this information get depressed about it, some can feel more relaxed and at ease that there is no control so to say. Is it possible in this moment now, that you can possibly see that your reacting to this information in your own unique way, and that possibly you can also see that if there is no control, then its equally possible everything could become amazing in any second and all idea's of the problems that are thought of as problems and issues that are thought of as stressful, and experiences that are not felt as good or enjoyable all could become something positive and new?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think this experience is gonna challenge your sense of self. The affirmation video you linked seems to open up energy in the chest and neck chakra area's. This energy that released in you, has opened up a voice that is not natural to you...... yet. It may even change back. I've had my voice change doing energy work, but usually it only lasts a day or so. IT's a bewildering experience. Just dont panic. Reversing it, may be a waste of energy. Look into your ideas of what a deep voice means, or a man that has such a voice. There may be judgements that are creating rejection of this in you. You even said this doesn't fit the image of what you wanted to be or become nor does it match what you think a voice like this looks like in the body like yours. The suddenness of it also seems to be triggering in your concern and that something is fundamentally wrong and that you may of screwed something up in yourself, which again is fear idea's. It will be okay, try and relax in this process and exploration. Ultimately you can't do any harm, but don't use this as a license to do so

Thats a very broad question, care to narrow it down to your particular life?

ya enjoy it, but how much free will do you have in your interest, passion and thus obsession of free will? Its an interesting snake eating its tail.

I'd say lifting some weights and putting on some muscle will deter most fragile, surface level assholes, doing martial arts or boxing (which I think will make you more able to defend yourself faster) can build confidence in your self and healthy discipline, and doing 15-20 min meditation a couple times a week for mental clarity and sanity.

How do you see martial arts changing your friends from "abusing" you. Abuse is a strong word, do you mean, verbally taunt with a touch of humor, or physically rough house in ways that you may not always like or connect with. There is something to be said in gaining some muscle and having some physical defense skills, it can in a sense prevent some degree of that, since the other may see it less desirable due to the risk of your retaliation.

What do you mean, surrounded by people who abuse you? Like at school they pick on you? Can you clarify? I'm trying to figure out will martial arts actually help you or not. That said, meditation can be done for like 15-20 mins a day. So I'm sure you can include both.

This is a interesting topic. My first precaution would be at least first to see if its actually not just a real physical issue before going down the road of acceptance. That said, I've discovered or at least played around with certain ways of looking at and approaching pain that seem to help accept and or transcend. Now I don't know how much you've looked into what pain is, but here's some food for thought. When pain seems to arise, is it actually "real" (this can be its own worthwhile inquirey, to find out what real is to you in general, and worth 10-10,000 hrs of contemplation)? I'm sure you've at least once or twice in your life, believed, felt or saw something that seemed to be what it seemed to be, only to find out that it wasn't, or not even close to what you were certain and sure of. If you can really let this in, then when pain arises, you can leave room or space to ask the honest question, is this "what I think and feel as pain" actually as it seems. You see, felt pain, is so certain and true, that to even ask this question for many seems crazy and would never be considered. However, if you've seen time and time again, that just because its felt and seen that way as your experience, doesn't mean its actually the way it seems to be. This one insight, in my opinion has lead to a number of breakthroughs in non-reaction to thought, emotions, pain, others, life circumstances. And it can be taken to such extremes that ya, the being on fire like the monk, may just be a passing background something or other. Now of course, this will most likely not all happen suddenly, it will probably take a tremendous amount of what feels like will power, commitment and practice, and sometimes will lead to stupid results, because sometimes its best to just go to the doctors and get something for a parasite infection, but if you've looked into your issue and no one seems to be able to figure out whats going on, then, yea this path can be a god send and can create the willingness of mind and strength to practice, since your going to be in "pain" anyways with the issue

I agree, God/Existence is more than just infinite combinations of finite things, because there are actually no finite things, lol. It gets into area's/experience that is not possible to understand or relate to as a "human" awakening to God realization. But it really doesn't matter that this is so.