Santiago Ram

Enough theorizing, @Leo Gura is right. We addicts are Hurt 🤕. I'm working with a clairvoyant to feel the Pain in my life history and damn, it Hurts. Reminds me of this Dune scene. Read the Sedona Method. Letting go of the Hurt seems like Forgiveness.

What is your opinion on the following insight: God, whenever I become angry, allow me to be Kind. And whenever I get angrier, allow me to be Kinder. Because my sobriety. My rehabilitation. And my inner Peace depends on this. So be it.

Yesterday I had a session with Martin Ball. When I had the vision of The Kingdom of Heaven, the word Conflict popped up as what could turn Heaven into Earth Here are some of his insights. What is conflict? Energy is very real. Now, we can label certain energies of, Oh, I didn't like that, so that one's bad. Then this energy over here, I like that, so that one's good. Then when we get into questions of truth or honesty and lies and deceptions, then really what we're getting at is not something it's not necessarily metaphysical, it's more energetic in the sense of, do the words match reality or not? If they don't match reality, and if it's intentional, then it's a lie. Okay. It has an energy of truth. It has an energy of harmony. It has an energy of peace. It has an energy of love. And you're seeing these complex geometric structures that, as you say, you're seeing angels, but they're geometric structures. You're also noticing some of them seem to be more important than others. There is is the way that it all harmonizes together, all the pieces fit together. And then, like with this conflict, you see a disruption within the energetic construct. So That's your answer. Conflict is disruption of the harmony. It doesn't mean it's good, it doesn't mean it's bad. It just means it's disruption of the harmony in some way. In this context, we can see that the concept of conflict is presenting itself to you, Santiago, through the medium of the divine imagination of this visionary experience in which there is a subject, an object, This is the way that you are interfacing with the greater mind, which I would call God. It is presenting these concepts that come with these energies of feelings and sensations as well. It's representing that to you. It's giving you something for your mind to concretize it like, Oh, that's This is heaven. This is what heaven is. This is what harmony in heaven is. This is how conflict or disruption enters into this system. Here with this experience, there's nothing within the experience that somebody might also experience in a psychedelic visionary state. The same content that we can get. It is a representation and an appearance within the divine imagination. Is it fundamentally true? Well, it's a representation of truth, but in and of itself, it's still a representation. How you are able to receive it and feel it in your body is part of how you're able to process it. Then the appearance of the devil and the trickster and lies and delusions and evil, that that becomes another representation of as we contemplate the question, what is evil? What are lies? What does it do? How does it work? It creates disharmony. There's a trickster. It goes back to what I was saying that a lie is when the energy of what is being shared is intentionally given in a way that does not coincide with energetic reality. That is a lie versus just being wrong. If somebody says, If you ask somebody, did you feed the dog before you left? They say, Oh, yeah, I fed the dog. Then you get home and you realize, Oh, they didn't feed the dog? Well, then it's a question. Well, did this person lie to me? Were they trying to deceive me? ..... Okay. Well, harmony See, even there, that's nice. Harmonie is nice, but sometimes dissonance is really awesome. If we consider the spectrum of music, yeah, most of the time when we're listening to music, we want nice harmonies. But sometimes you insert the right dissonance into it, and that makes it a more interesting piece of music. Now, Does that make it more interesting in some metaphysical or cosmological sense? No, not really. Maybe in a mathematical sense, it might make it more interesting. But even there, really, it's a subjective thing. Like, whoa, what What defines what is interesting? Because, again, according to whom? According to whom is something interesting or not interesting? Sometimes we want all the instruments to work together. Sometimes when they don't all work together, there's a desire for that. It's good in a practical sense to say, Oh, I want to live a more harmonious life. But sometimes, this is one of my critiques of the monastic approach is, well, that's just seeking inner harmony by avoiding everything else. I'm going to go live as a monk up on the mountain. I'm not going to interact with anyone. I'm not going to I'm not going to deal with life. I'm just going to sit here and meditate. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So maybe you're finding harmony, but then you're also not living. If we look at the natural world, there's conflict all the time. Animals are chasing each other all over the place, eating each other. And that there's all kinds of beautiful harmonies that exist within nature. And then there's also volcanic eruptions and there's asteroid impacts. There's all kinds of shit that happens. Just like these visions of heaven and hell, it actually takes both of those to create a meaningful existent reality. So if we're only If we're only going for harmony, it's like... Because, again, these are both representations of God. These are both representations of reality and being. If we're choosing like, Oh, I don't want to be on one side of this, well, then you are choosing to limit yourself according to some ideal, but that's not necessarily living in reality. That's living within a chosen spectrum of reality. ...... Well, what it means is whatever you take it to mean. That meaning is a construct of the human mind. Right. There, I would... Rather than ask the meaning, I would go back to, Well, how did it make you feel? Great. Okay. Why do you need more meaning than that? Amazing. Okay. Yeah. That's the energy. The energy is, I felt great. That felt amazing. That's the truest essence of it, that it's a projected reflection that helps you feel amazing. Then you, as an individuated unit, an expression of God, you get to decide, Okay, well, if I like that, what can I actively do to create more of that? It sounds like that's what you did for a time in the clinic, where you were trying to be this role model or be this inspiration to act in a certain way and to increase the betterment of other people's experience. That's great. That's the value of it, is that it can inspire you and it can give you a model of what it ever is that you're going to do. In some ways, I'm reminded of this vision that I had on ayahuasca once, where the vision started, it was just pure black. Nothing there. Then there was this really bright light, right in the middle, it was like, bing, like a a star, a really bright star. I saw that and I was like, Oh, it's me for whatever reason. Then that lit up and then more stars light up around it. It's like, Oh. If I just let myself really just shine as brightly as I want to, then that can help inspire others to shine as brightly. Then once those other ones lit up, then more lit up around each one. Then And by the end, it was this perfect geometric grid of this connection of light everywhere. So what I took it to mean was, Okay, it's up to me to be my most authentic self. And that can then help and inspire others to be their most authentic selves, and that will help others to be their most authentic selves. And that will help others to be their most authentic selves. And then we can more objectively live in harmony if people are being the light that they are, and it made me feel inspired, but I don't ask the question, What does it mean beyond that? It was an appearance, and it was me interacting with myself and showing myself things. And this was you showing yourself things.

@Leo GuraHow do I awaken to this? I ve had solipsistic awakenings but never the full realization. Anyone have ideas? "Edit, Solipsism is always there, but how do I permanently awaken to this?"

@Beans Yup.

God make of me a Worthwhile Man Give me the strength to stand for right When other folks have left the fight. Give me the courage of the man who knows That if he will, he can. Teach me to see, in every face, the good, the kind and not the base. Make me sincere in word and deed Blot out from me all shame and greed Help me to guard my troubled soul By constant active self control. Clean up my thoughts, my speech, my play and keep me pure from day to day. Oh make of me a worthwhile man.

@VeganAwake https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-132 Leo is spot on.

@MsNobody I wrote this in another thread, but I really do believe it is the essence of addiction. This is Kindness, the final saying I will start each meeting daily: Basing myself on the following speech in The Sermon of The Mount about Murder. I am convinced this is the core of Recovery: 21-22“You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. 23-24“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God. Anger = Addiction. Amends = Sobriety.

This is Kindness, the final saying I will start each meeting daily: Basing myself on the following speech in The Sermon of The Mount about Murder. I am convinced this is the core of recovery, service and Kindness: 21-22“You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. 23-24“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God. Anger = Addiction. Amends = Sobriety.

@OBEler I think what made it click was focusing on my Being and recognizing this Self as the Only Truth. I am The Truth. The Only Truth. Like it is feeling my being as the Only True thing there is. Like not just saying it, but recognizing it.

Lol

@MsNobody The point is to improve human connection. The people who recover are those with more meaningful connections. That is the point of Amends. I've seen this work. People who are angry and resented usually relapse.

@OBElerThat's harsh. Yes, we are full of Hurt, and have Hurted others quite a bit but that doesnt make us non-human. Many people do recover.

@MsNobody I have 2 years of sobriety and I worked a year as staff in an NA clinic, I am willing to offer any help you need

Also you could ask: Are you willing to stop hurting others? How will that benefit you? What makes you lose your temper? How will you react in these situations? See, the point of these moral questions is to start having more meaningful relationships and feel better, sometimes it is just loneliness and toxic, angering relationships which lead people to abuse The 4 recommendations: Do not visit places where you abused Cut ties with the friendships with whom you used. Do not have a romantic or sexual relationship for a year (yup, pretty hard but important, not of my invention btw) Believe in a Higher Power

Whenever someone says: Oh Thank God! Reply: Awwww. You're welcome.

@MsNobody Some questions you could ask: Do you believe you have lost the battle with Ketamine? Do you believe in awakening or having a spiritual experience sober? Would that make the effort worthwile? How have you hurt others? Who have you hurt? How can you repair the damage? Will doing that eliminate the damage or create more? Are you willing to meditate, do self-inquiry or service to others? Once you have achieved time sober, are you willing to lead others and share your message?

Of course evil stems from ignorance and fear. I'm not claiming you or even the sponsor to be Evil, but their ignorance does create self-deception which is evil. Have you worked with these mentally disturbed folks? For how long? How many of them do you know? How do you know they do what they do for "attention"? Do you struggle with mental illness or addiction yourself?

Right now I got it! What led me to this was: Repeating I am The Only Truth with eyes open and others around you. Wow.

I would like to make a Solipsism Soundtrack. Any songs that remind you of existential loneliness, oneness or being The Only Mind? I only have one: DJ Khaled - I'm The One ft. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper, Lil Wayne I heard this song while on a Solipsistic Awakening at a Supermarket. Id like to hear more.

@VeganAwake Evil lies about everything. What makes you surprised it could lie about it's own existence?

@VeganAwake Evil uses many tactics to persuade it doesn't exist and keep it's lies alive. One of the most effective is Narcissism which makes worldly authority seem solid and not as a simple projection of consciousness. One of the ways Narcissists operate is by mockery as it is effective in invalidating logic and lazy in itself. I've seen the workings of mockery lead to depression of many clinic patients who later relapsed and one killed himself because of constant mockery, bullying maltreatment from the Sponsor. Such mockery is not accidental, it is a skillful tool of Evil and a proof of its existence.

@VeganAwake I recognize I am extremely lucky. Not many make it this far. I ve seen people die by suicide because of this. Serious mental illness and substance abuse is not something you can just joke around with. I am lucky because I have been able to help others. But people relapse and die because of such comments. Why not better search for Truth? The Devil is a Liar. God is Honesty, Truth. It is that simple.

What I refer to as Evil is different, just lies

Serious mental illness for me is a very highly functional psychosis that enables me to have insights, awakenings and heal. But why call that Evil?