Misagh

When it comes to realization, there are levels and those words are meant to denote them. In the model I find to be most accurate it goes from Awakening > self-realization > god consciousness > enlightenment > moksha (true liberation).

@mkrksms The point i am trying to communicate is that self-realization is as easy as choosing to set all of THAT aside.

@Artaemis If this is the case and you can already see through them then you are very close. Inquire into the nature of the "I" and "who" is doing the seeing and you are there.

@mkrksms @PsiloPutty Neither of you to are serious about enlightenment, which is of course absolutely fine. Self-realization is by its nature easy. If you are facing complications such as what you have mentioned, they stem from a desire to NOT self-realize. Of course you already know this

@StephenK It is a misconception that the ego will be gone the moment you self-realize. This is not the case, so there's really nothing to fear in that sense. Also, what will be left is already fully present in you, so its not something foreign, scary, or unknown.

@Serotoninluv All you need to realize is that the "I" is also a thought. Diligently asking yourself "Who am I?" will quiet the mind and ground you in the self. Self-realization is quiescence of the mind and peace.

@Mu_ @Outer Of course the truth is that you are already self-realized. But how many seekers actually accept this? Ultimately it is this very truth that brings salvation to the ignorant, however it is not always a practical advice. They first have to realize the nature of the mind which is thought, and the quiet the mind by grounding themselves through some means. Then statements such as these could be useful to them.

@Ingit It's a total waste of energy alright. But if you are talking about spirituality, one should first be able to harness the energy for spiritual/energetic purposes to begin with for it to matter.

@NoSelfSelf You feel this way after self-realization?

@Tony 845 While definitely a legit teacher, I personally find it much easier to follow Jan Esman's teaching than Craig's.

@Tony 845 I was once in that camp as well. Although take my advice and treat Kundalini with a lot of respect

@Tony 845 I don't know much about American gurus but there is Craig Holiday in Colorado area.

@Tony 845 Yes I completely understand what are you talking about. I'd have to tell you that this can get much worse. Kundalini is a harsh mistress. Perhaps seek out the guidance of a qualified master, like Jan Esman.

@Tony 845 This is a symptom of detaching from the body. It's is very good progress and you shouldn't be afraid of it at all. Also these types of experiences most likely happen with an active Kundalini as far as I know.

<3

When one is asked to take out the trash, one doesn't sift through the bag, looking at each individual piece. He throws out the trash. So it is with the ego's antics.

This is not a self-improvement journal. It is some simple reflection. I actually remember the exact moment I chose to inhabit this vessel. It is my very first memory associated with my current form. I am looking at this human infant in one moment, who I now know to be Misagh, and in the next, darkness. I forget myself. I had always been curious about God. The question, "Who is God?" has always been on my mind. I would always ask myself question like, "Who was I before i was born?" or "Where do we go after we die?" Mind you, I was 6 or 7 at the time, and I simply couldn't realize that the answer was right there in front of me as soon as I asked these questions. Now I know better. My whole life has been one giant, unconscious seeking. That is why I can claim that I have not mediated at all and yet managed to self-realize. I was brought up God-fearing. The "God-the-bearded-man-in-heaven" type of God-fearing. I was terrified for many years of being a bad boy. As I entered college, I became an atheist. I utterly shattered this image of God which my society had implemented in my head. Thank you Richard Dawkins. But then I realized I was lost. I began to search for personal meaning in the material world. I worked out religiously. I fucked analytically. And I read self-help books as if they were written down by God himself. I was depressed. Suicidal. I remember laying face-down in my bed, so miserable that I could barely move a muscle. I was drowning in darkness. One day, I made a friend, and through him I had my first trip with LSD (I've been smoking weed recreationaly for a while, but never considered myself a true stoner.) The LSD experience was mystical but nothing mind-shattering. I do believe that it prepared my mind to be more receptive towards spirituality somewhat, but never considered the drug to be that significant to my self-realization. What it did though, was making me interested in Alan Watts. And that was when I got introduced to the Tao. I read his book "The Way of Zen" religiously. I think I read that book once every night, cover-to-cover, for a month. Alan Watts, I thank you. But I didn't realize the self yet. From Watts, I went to Adyashanti, from him to Leo, from Leo to Shunyamurti, and eventually to Jan Esman, who gave me shaktipat through a YouTube video. I haven't had the chance to meet any of these gurus in my life, but I plan to. Specially Jan Esman whom I owe tremendous gratitude for what he did for me. About this time I began pranayama. I practiced it on and off for about a month. I'd say in number of hours, I have actively meditated for 170hr. I've only recently self-realized, and that has been thanks to Sri Ramana Maharshi and Mark Wilburg (both of whom so eloquently convinced me that I am already self-realized - which is the real obstacle). Looking back at all this, I realize the wisdom of Adyashanti: That everything in your past, has been preparing you for this moment.

@Devil Remember that 'Nihilism' is a thought/concept, and just like any thought it will bring you suffering if you are attached to it.

@NoSelfSelf So you mean you are constantly angry at people without being attached to the anger?

"What is Normal?" A thought.

"Is the pursuit of enlightenment escapism?" No. This is an argument the ego produces to defend its position once it begins to realizes how shaky it is. All it's really doing is trying to convince itself that it is useful. That without it, this tough character that is able to withstand the injustice of (what it thinks is a) mechanical world, all hell would break loose.

For those of you who know what I'm talking about: I experience very intense pressure in the head. Before it was at the ajna chakra and now it has moved up to the Sahasrar (while still present to a smaller extend in the forehead). Do you have a particular method of managing these symptoms? I have no issue with just letting them be, but I realize how they change in quality and flow as I work with the energies. Sadly I lack a good Kundalini teacher to ask them these questions. Was just wondering if you guys have any experience with this.

@SageModeAustin No. They come and go at first, and become more permanent as time goes on. I can tell you that the ego has no control over kundalini whatsoever. No power to activate or stop the kundalini-shakti. More likely you have been exposed to shaktipat from some source and just don't know/remember where. I recommend you start reading about the Kundalini and its nature. Do not refer to new-agey websites for this info, go to the source in tantra such as Vijnanabhairava. People like Adyashanti and Shunyamurti, all have very good understanding of Kundalini, but often don't focus/talk on it simply because it's not within the experience of the majority of people. As for gurus who I know to be legitimate and who do focus extensively on Kundalini, Jan Esman and Craig Holiday come to mind. I personally found Jan Esman to be the most reliable. I actually received shaktipat from him. Edit - Forgot to mention Shri Anandi Ma

@Haumea2018 This is also something one of my teachers, Jan Esman said might happen; that exact thing you described.

@SageModeAustin That is 100% Kundalini. Welcome to the life my friend