Leona

@Pure Imagination word. Of course I'm not expecting a permanent peak after 3 trips but still I'm expecting a lot in little time, I guess. I feel that my system is working really hard already, on conscious and unconscious levels. I'm just a little impatient because these experiences were ...no words. Beyond any expectations I'm just curious how it affects other people, because I don't know a lot of people who took 5 meo, and especially very conscious people who took it more than 3-4 times.

I took bufo (which is basically the natural form of 5meo) a couple of times and it was unimaginable. Absolutely beyond explanation. I observed my mind coming back and the experience melting away each time. I gained profound insights and incredible amounts of love each time. But to me it feels like a teaser that doesn't last and I was wondering if there are examples, other than Martin Ball, where people stayed in that peak state? @Leo Gura did taking 5meo dmt a couple of times in a row during your retreat change your perception long term? I mean obviously it is infinitely enriching, but on a day to day level, did it really make a change for you?

@fabriciom I totally feel you. The mind seems to be the obstacle and surely it is. But there is one fact that I became conscious of, and it may seem obvious, but it's a totally different thing to know about it in theory vs to experience it: Your mind is the one telling you to remove your mind first, before you can be free. This is twisted. Your mind tells you to remove itself which can not be done if you cling to the idea of removing it. So in practice, it means that you can let the mind talk, even when it thinks it found the solution. Because this solution is another idea seperating yourself from the moment...

@Feel Good that exactly what I feel. But if you're already acting within the spectrum of what you call authentic - between two possible reactions there is still the "wiser"/more authentic one. And to figure out which one it is, that's tricky sometimes. But in that case I guess I just really have to let go of the notion of right or wrong.

@NoSelfSelf technically we are always authentic anyways But still it feels like there is a "free" me and a "limited" me, kind of domesticated by thought. And I'm striving to embody the free me, because it feels better. But I'm seeing that there is no answer to this question, which one is the free me. Because actually there is no difference between free and not free, haha. Puh, so difficult to let that idea go. You are totally right, there are many "me"s, even a "domesticated-by-thought-me" and it's okay

@Caterpillar this is nice. There is no personality and no right or wrong. It's one thing to know that conceptually, but it's a whole nother thing to embody it. Do you think it is even possible without enlightenment?

@Leo Gura I've seen the video. Also thanks for your common place video btw, that helped me a LOT! But this is more about these situations where the solution can not be derived from thought, from a concept. I just realize that I look for an answer where there is no answer... I guess sometimes I just don't KNOW and the "trick" is, to be cool with that. ...this right here is my contemplation I guess

In some situations I can't tell, if I'm being authentic or not. Or rather, which reaction out of 2 major reactions would be more authentic: Either acceptance of the situation OR acceptance of the fact, that the situation is untenable and I need to change it. I always know, that what I happen to do in the end, will be right. But I'm finding myself in that thought-circle, where I can't tell which thoughts are genuwine and which ones are egoic. It's like being stuck in a loop without any tool to escape. @Leo Gura, I was wondering if you know this and what you think about it.