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Everything posted by graded24
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Hey Leo, and others Have you looked in IFS, which is the latest, most formalized version of Shadow Work? I feel a lot of people involved here can benefit from this framework. It's as close as psychotherapy can come to nonduality and still be practically useful. It'd be great to get your perspective on it.
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graded24 replied to graded24's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Calm down. You don't know anything about where I am coming from or my critical thinking skills. It's a wild guess I am making. That's all. It doesn't matter. -
It's most apparent in his solipsism video. Deeper than Buddha, Ramana or Jesus for sure. Hey Leo, if you're reading this, could you post a video on confusion caused by the "multiple gods" conflicting with absolute solipsism? Thanks Edit: some clarification. It's clear that Leo is implying that this waking world might as well be multiple godheads creating a shared world, which, in essence, undoes everything he did in the solipsism video. I understand the metaphysical subtlety involved but at the end the implication is that the other "avatars" could be having their own experiences even if that's outside of my solipsistic bubble.
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Yes I think the words are self explanatory. Inquiry can refer to inquiry into any part or aspect of experience. For example I definitely the first year or so inquiry the world in my direct experience. It was not self inquiry. Self inquiry is a very specific inquiry; it's the inquiry into 'I', or the inquirer itself. In that way it is a meta inquiry. It is easier said than done and leads to a lot of confusion. So it is often useful to have a guide to who you can specific questions.
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Around Nov/Dec last year, I had read, watched (including Leo's excellent videos, which have impacted my metaphysics deeply) and contemplated Nonduality long enough for it to start breaking down old structures apart. There was an earth shattering realization about my work in science: science isn't probably going to answer the questions I wanted answered. To make matter worse, something inside me had realized this well in advance and I found that I had hit a huge wall of procrastination (though I didn't understand it at the time). My work life was suffering and at the same time, though I had zeroed in on self-inquiry in my Nondual exploration, I had no idea how to actually do it. There were multiple points of confusion: 1) How to exactly self inquire? 2) How to integrate it with the rest of my life 3) What is the guiding principle to orient my actions in the relative world, and what relation it has to Nonduality? Around that time, I came across this megathread started by Akilesh/@winterknight: I was quite impressed with his answers and, like many of you, I had a sense that they were coming from an authentic place. I started talking to him one on one and finally I opted for weekly phone conversations for a guidance fee. I also read his book, How to find what isnt lost, in the process. As our personal interaction started, things started to unravel and settle down in coming weeks and months. First and foremost, he helped my understand my own procrastination. He guided me through multiple 'hitting the wall' moments of self-inquiry, resolved many existential doubts, and helped me avoid many of the subtle traps of a spiritual path. He explained my many doubts about Advaitan metaphysics and how exactly it related to self-inquiry. I finally reached a point where things were integrated enough for life and self-inquiry to be self-sustainable. There is a harmonious life now, well integrated with a background spiritual inquiry, that comes to foreground multiple times on a given day. There is content and peace and, equally importantly, a healthy engagement with the relative world. I can honestly say that this transition wouldn't have been possible, or at least would have taken much longer, it it weren't for Akilesh's personalized help. My orientation to nonduality is Truth, so I really appreciated that he did not sugarcoat his statements. He was brutally honest at times, and he did what many teachers don't do: accepted at points that enlightenment doesn't mean you know answer to every question. In fact there are many important questions on which there are speculations, but no definite answer. No one knows. This really helped my mind settle down into unknowingness. How to find what isn't lost was an excellent concise instructional book on modern perspective on Advaita and, more importantly, how to actually practice self inquiry. Most books on self inquiry are those claiming to be by Ramana Maharshi; but they are actually not written by him. It's always compiled and translated by someone else and is in Q&A format, and it is very hard to extract the exact instructions of the practice, especially for a beginner. So if you are interested in self-inquiry, you must give it a try. I am writing it here so in case you relate to the place I was at, you can give what worked for me a try as well.
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graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@winterknight What is the difference between mental objects and physical objects? Most people have an intuition that you can f*k around with stuff in the mental space, but as soon as it has an effect on things out in the 'actual physical world' , the shit just got real! There is a feeling that mental space fluctuates more, is reversible, private and mostly benign. The physical world on the other hand is irreversible. Once something happens there, there is no going back. But on the other hand I can also see that there are no clear lines between where the mental space ends and physical world begins. Can you speak to this distinction and what to make of it? -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I see. I can relate. I didn't 'see' it though probably it was right in front in the first two years of exploring nonduality.. I just wasn't ready for it. I can see that I am identified with the seeker/nondual-student-me. It is more subtle than feeling being behind the eyes. I dont know exactly how to 'locate' it and disidentify from it.. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Got it. Thanks. Self-inquiry seems to be such a direct, no BS, path toward enlightenment. Why isn't it more popular? Why shave the head, wear a robe? Why worship a guru with exotic retreats to India? Why all this embellishment around nonduality? It only keeps the people distracted. Why do you think it is not that well known? -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Hmm.. I dont know. Can there be a problem without someone who has the problem? Sorry I am not playing word games with you. Just trying to understand the experience -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Your answers often suggest that any negative emotion always arises TO some false sense of I. Can it be that there is irritation but no one who is irritated? After all I do experience it with perception. There is seeing but no one who is seeing. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@winterknight And when I do try to do it on the side.. it becomes like trying to attend to two things at the same time.. like working with a distraction As a result, the mind grows restless and a feeling of irritation arises.. not of peace. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@winterknight When I try to self-inquire WHILE doing intellectual work.. more often than not, I get involved in the work and forget the inquiry altogether.. until I remember it back again after a while. I am not sure in this period of forgetting whether or not there is an I because my attention is simply not there.. I am thinking the work-thoughts. Should i put efforts to keep inquiring on the side and not enter this forgetting-inquiry state? Or only inquire when the question arise? -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@winterknight From Nondual perspective, there are no separate people really. The people are a collection of forms (thoughts, body etc) which are experienced by the Self. What does compassion mean then? When I am talking to someone, am I just talking to a thought? Why should I care about a thought then? -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Thanks. Thats make sense. What is the state of 'flow' in relation to all this? When i play a computer game and am totally engrossed in it.. i only have thoughts relating to the game. I seem to totally forget not only the surrounding but also the 'me' . I am not sure what the i-thought is in that situation. It seems like there is no I-thought there. BUt then how is it different from the no-self we are trying to get at in spirituality? ( I am making things simplistic, but you know what i am asking about ..) Sometimes i feel good after such a flow state (like with work) but sometimes i also feel worse afterward (like with computer games). So I dont how they fit in with the picture. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Beware of anyone who talks of science +spirituality =magic. In my experience, they usually don't genuinely understand either science or spirituality. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@winterknight After self-inquiring for several minutes sometimes it feels that the whole panorama of experience (thoughts+sensation+visual+auditory) is being 'awared of' simultaneously and there is no localized 'I' anywhere. Though 'I' pops up here and there, it is seen through immediately with the 'rule' of the self inquiry. There is a feeling/understanding that all of it is objective.. that is, there is nothing in it that can be called the 'I', the subject. Sometimes it comes with a noticeable change of consciousness (a noticeable spaciousness and centerlessness) but often no significant transformation seem to have taken place.. consciousness feels the same, albeit may be a little more 'lighter' and peaceful. There is a little bit of spaciousness may be but i am not sure. What to do in this state? When the spaciousness and centerlessness is not very noticeable, should I conclude that the false 'I' is still hiding somewhere as something in the present experience and is not being seen through? -
graded24 replied to Goutam nimmakayala's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
An Indian here. To understand General Relativity one doesn't have to learn about Germany, or Jewish culture, because Einstein was Jewish and German. Same applies to non-dual knowledge. Calling it "indian-Nonduality" is the most unfortunate kind of oxymoron. If you understood nonduality such petty discriminations of east and west wont have any place in your psyche. And FYI, most indians dont meditate and they have no idea about nonduality. Most are involved in the bhakti-Hinduism which is no different from any other paganism. Sure there is whip of non-duality here and there but it is more like the relics of once great culture. So dont talk about how one has to learn indian culture to really understand Nonduality. Nothing can be farther from the truth. I lived in india for long, right in the cultural center, and all i saw was religion as usual. Religious gurus nothing different from western televangicals and religion nothing different from a set of rules to be followed with harry-potter-for-adults mythology. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@winterknight How much background do you have in the physical sciences? What do you make of the fact that as per the scientific worldview what we experience has little to do with the 'actual physical reality' out there, which is much vaster and infinitely more complex .. but most importantly, extremely consistent, stable and predictable.. as opposed to subjective experience which is unstable, not very consistent and unpredictable? Like, right now, me sitting in the room.. all i see is some colors and hear some sounds. But according to physics, there are many many electromagnetic waves right in front of my eyes that do not appear in my experience. Lets take a concrete example: when i press the button of the TV remote, the TV turns on. That's all i experience. But according to physics, a radio wave originated at the remote and went to the TV that did not appear in my experience. I can see indirect evidences of such a wave existing, like reflection from a mirror to turn on the TV etc. The question is, does that radio wave 'exist'? Or is it that only what i experienced exists and the rest is just a 'model' , a mental tool, including the the radio wave, to predict what will happen if i did different things with the remote? -
I know the feeling. I'd give you the following advice. For a while do not listen to any more nondual stuff. No more metaphysical model and theories. Those may or may not be a "cult", you never know. Just try to actually 'practice' and verify things in your direct experience. Ground your 'understanding' in your own direct experience. Once you have don that you'd know whether or not you have joined a cult. Having said that, every way of life is a cult. Some are bigger than others, that's all.
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graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
hmm I see what you're saying. I do plan to do ayahuasca trips at some point in the future. At the point it is well beyond my means and resources. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Got it! Thank you for your patience and answers man. I really appreciate it! -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Well, you brought up another thing I have previously gone over with The Mind Illuminated (I am starting to see parallels).. dullness vs awake quietness. Not being able to distinguish the two reliable is definitely one of the key practical problems I am facing in my practice. For long I did meditations with eyes open and it was less of a problem then. But with eyes closed you can slip into dull mind and mistake it for a peaceful one. It is further complicated by the fact that 'I-I' is also supposed to feel peaceful and clear. Can you please talk about how one can distinguish the two in the moment? What is the the difference between a clear,quiet but awake mind and a dull mind. And how to move from dullness to awake quietness when it comes during a sitting practice? -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Great! So, to be precise, their contribution to self-inquiry is through quietening the mind.. that is, it is the quiet mind which is needed, and psychological unification is not necessary by itself. So a corollary would be, for example, if ones mind is quiet, regardless of whether or not their mind is unified, there is no need for the psychological work, right? Is this the general rule that I can orient my actions/decisions by? That is, as a general rule, i should prefer decisions and actions that lead to a quieter mind. So, for example, with regards to actions, sometimes quieter mind can come about by actually doing a task that a thought was bugging me about, and other times it can come about by analyzing the thought rather than fulfilling it. -
graded24 replied to winterknight's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
What do you make of what sages say about 'spiritual experiences' ? That, they are great and very important but they are still experiences. They show that you are that which can manifest in ways completely different from the normal human experience .. so no time, no space, extremely expansive, something a mind cannot even imagine.. but the manifestation is still form at the end of it. And it is a mistake to confuse it with realizing the Self in the way @winterknight or traditional paths talk about. SOrry I am not trying to downplay your experience and transformation. I say to people who have never tried any psychedelics exactly what you are saying. I am just exploring their relation to the true spirituality. I have always seen sages caution against confusing psychedelic experience with realizing ones true nature, since the true nature is what always is,. in the simplest of experiences.