aklacor727

@mrPixel Definitely top of my list. I'd say kindness slightly above honesty usually because I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but if theres a way for me to communicate kindly and honestly at the same time that's definitely what I strive for. Usually if I dont feel like I can do that i won't say much at all, unless I'm dealing with a stubborn person then my honesty might come out more than the kindness lol. Sometimes I think the stubborn ones are the ones that need to open their mind the most. But again, I do realize they are at where they are at based on their experiences and all I can do is share my perspective, not change their mind.

@Leo Gura I meant when I approach them from my perspective/stage for the sake of authenticity, growth, etc, there is more clashing.... I would love a further opinion on this post if you had any input/ thoughts I would greatly appreciate hearing your view! Do you tend to meet people at their stage, or just be yourself, share your thoughts, and dont worry about it really? Say this is someone you see regularly?

@mrPixel I will definitely watch that, thanks! I understand they are at their own point in life based on their experiences, but when I am in someone's life I do have control over how I approach the conversations, hence making this post. (These are people that are in my life on a day to day basis). Also, I see why that may have come off as me thinking I am superior, but the nature of this thread is about the spiral stages so a specific example that relates to my question I thought would be helpful for input. Thanks for responding!

@Alec84 I agree with you, would be much easier. Alot of the reason I stayed "friends" was because he didn't necessarily do anything wrong, it was just my feelings weren't there in that way anymore and I felt bad, it was one of those breakups where it was very gradual and the final end wasnt like a fight or anything. I dont think I will be doing his haircuts anymore though for sure....sucks too though because I'm pretty close with his mom still and hes brought up here and there which I don't mind, just don't want to hear anything about his love life which I will tell her if that is brought up. @RendHeaven I think there is some truth to this. @intotheblack ok good, glad I'm not just crazy lol. Usually with any negative feeling that's what I try to do, just feel it n be with it .. Thanks guys

Was in a relationship with someone, (long term) it didn't work out but we stayed friends (very casually). I do his haircuts for him still as well. This person starts dating again. I don't know if its "jealousy" necessarily but I feel a weird and off, like I don't really want to know or hear about that stuff. I don't have a desire to be with him, I know us together just doesn't work. So why does it make me feel off?? Lol. I didn't think there were any feelings there. Anyone else not have feelings for an ex but still feel weird about when they have moved on? ? *confused why I don't feel neutral about it* is this common/normal?

I recently ordered the Larq water bottle that self cleans and purifies with UV light...check it out!

I have to say, of all of the personal development work I've done, I haven't had such a noticeable fast result. I am normally a pretty shy person, and have struggled with social anxiety. I have effortlessly been much more comfortable, talkative, and open. I'm literally amazed. I've taken them 3 times now and the 2nd trip was the one that did it. Not sure if this made the difference, but during my trip I lost my ecig, phone died, basically didn't have any source of distraction. I could've plugged in my phone and searched for my ecig harder but I decided to just go without them, knowing the theory behind distractions thanks to Leo and just laid in my bed for hours letting all the feelings arise and just fully feel them. It brought me to different visions and experiences that I believe allowed me to release pain and trauma that has been within myself. After a while of that I was just so peaceful and content being with the present moment. I have never been so fully focused and present in my life. Will continue doing shrooms every few weeks and eventually get the courage to try other psychedelics. ?

Just want to give an update! I still cannot believe how much that experience changed things for me! I truly believe leaving out my usual distractions during the trip and just delving into the feelings in my body completely gave me a huge release that I needed. I HIGHLY recommend doing this (the longer the better) with or without shrooms, to release whatever needs to be released in you to give you more ease and joy in your life! Ive been living with SO much more joy confidence authenticity and peace. I will say though I had a horrible shrooms experience after that, and was having experiences/awakenings to the groundlessness of reality which was absolutely terrifying and turned me off to shrooms and even listening to leo's spiritual for a good while. Looking back i was pretty depressed for a while there. Thankfully the depression has passed, and I am feeling back to my normal self but just better. Very much loving feeling what it feels like to live with that weight off of me. ?

I've been back and forth for a while on whether I want children. Being a 33 year old female, I feel I should get more clear on this! I am not in a relationship, content with that, but if I decide I do want children, finding a relationship would become higher on my priority list. I realized recently that a big part of my indecision because I am not a natural leader, which makes me insecure about whether I would be an ideal parent. I am very compassionate, loving, and caring, which is important for having children. But I want to feel confident that I can be a good leader in raising them to where they can grow up to be independent, self sufficient, responsible, all that good stuff. I wouldn't want to half ass parenting if I decided I wanted to go that route. I would want them to have happy fulfilling lives, and show them how they can do that. My mom was SUCH a kind caring sweet woman. But I dont feel I got an example of what strong leadership looks like. So not having experienced it first hand it is harder for me to envision myself being the parent I would want to be. I really cannot wait for @Leo Gura to release a leadership video! In the meantime, can anyone help me with this? I need a vision on what it would look like to be a great leader to my possible future children! I know this may not be the easiest question to answer in a forum but it is worth a shot to ask.

@Moksha I think another main reason why I am questioning having children is because one of my top values is peace of mind.. Its nice having a life without stress and worry. But I think alot of the reason that has been a high value is because I had many tough years where things were chaotic and I was unable to have peace of mind. But it has been a few years now I've been able to enjoy it and being past that chaotic time. So I think I am ok now with having more on my plate to challenge me emotionally, like what having children would do. The tradeoffs could be worth it ..and I love the idea of unconditional love ?

Me personally, if I smoke weed too often it does nothing spiritually and actually sets back my consciousness and personal growth. But I've noticed if I have it occasionally those times when I do, i am much more spiritually insightful and contemplation tend to come to me effortlessly. This is not if I am doing something low conscious while I smoke like just laying there watching Tv of course. Usually I'll take a bath or something along the lines of quiet relaxation. Also I notice the feeling of Love is amplified within me. I do notice my ability to focus/remember however is decreased. So at times I'll have these insights and things will make so much sense but I have to write it down right away before my mind goes off to the next thing

My shrooms trip last night was a terrifying one, realizing the groundlessness of everything. I just wanted to be ignorant again lol Hopefully my next trip is a better one.

Hi guys! So, one thing I've noticed about myself is I am not the greatest at sustaining new habits into my lifestyle. Some of the littler/easier things have stuck but there are a couple that require more self discipline that I really want to make work this time around and be a lifelong thing. Looking back I can see where I went wrong -- adding too many new aspects into my daily life too soon -- I was off work for months bc of the pandemic and I was really excited to have the time to work on my personal development and I think definitely got ahead of myself! Another aspect that I feel brings about a little more of a challenge for me is my work schedule is very inconsistent; the habit has to be at different times each day based on when I am working. Regardless, here is my game plan for this time around: 1) only focus on ONE THING for a minimum of 3 months (maybe even 6 just to make sure) before adding anything else! 2) I will have a calendar set up on my wall next to my bed where I will track when I have completed the habit. I am going to use color coded stickers and utilize something that I have heard of called Elastic Habits -- the idea is that every day I need to do the habit, but there are 3 different levels of difficulty/time spent I can choose from based on how much energy and time I have that day. That way even if I just choose the easy category for that day, I still get the satisfaction of getting my sticker and the routine of starting up the activity still helps to molds my subconscious, helping the habit to eventually become effortless! But it is less overwhelming and requires far less self discipline not having to put so much time in every day, if I don't want to. 3) Patience! This is about all the strategy I have going for me but if there are any other tips or suggestions you have for me, I would love it! Wish me luck!!!

@Ry4n yes! I still cant believe how much it TRULY helps evolve through all the past BS @roopepa I am always cautious lol. The guy I get them from has fresh shrooms as well as dried, I've been starting with the dried since they're not as potent. Once I move up to the fresh I will take probably half of the amount he recommends just to be sure and work up from there. But I will be even more cautious hearing this! Was it from shrooms or something else? @Demeter it was 1/8th I believe, and unsure of the kind but I can ask him next time I see him. Also I smoked weed during the trip and I think that made a difference too. Unsure what kind on that as well but can probably figure that out too if u like!

@kag101 didn't even see this until now! For example with working out, that is the habit I am incorporating next. Me personally yoga is what I enjoy most. But depending how I feel that day I have options. Easy day: just stretching Moderate day: 20 minute yoga session Advanced day: 20 minute yoga session PLUS say 20 minutes on the treadmill. Having the option to just stretch if I like takes away alot of the pressure!

One of my clients that I see every few weeks grows them and I trade my service for them. So I do feel lucky about that! Lol. Well eventually I am excited for you to try them out

Look up comfortable headphones, I got one that's like a soft headband because I sleep to my side too

Michael Sealey on YouTube is great. Alot of them are sleep hypnosis videos. I got a pair of comfy sleep headphones to do these with

For the best life align your actions with Truth to the best of your ability. This is why I like actualized.org so much...part of the purpose of his work was to discover truth and teach it. Therefore I take leo's advice on how to ace life, lol and different philosophical questions like that But what each person needs is a completely relative to many things. Many peoples idea of "best life" could be utterly completely different from Leo's version. To discover whats true for you, because your truth will drive your actions and the next steps to take, get in touch with your feelings and you will know what to do

Pondering what a healthy way to go about conflicting needs in a relationship. You desire and need one thing. Your partners desire/need directly conflict with that. How can both people be authentic/true to themselves about their feelings when this occurs? It seems to me the only way is if one of the people need to be willing to have acceptance and let go of that need, at least temporarily until the other person gets to the same place. What I don't want to do is cause my partner to suppress or repress their need having it become part of their shadow. Or would you say temporary suppression is ok/healthy/normal? Just looking for some insight further into this. Has anyone dealt with this?

@flowboy A combination of both. I can understand why you would say that and I ask myself the same question sometimes and think it may be easier to just start fresh with someone else. I think the main reason why I am giving it a chance is because in the past he failed to self reflect and didn't have the desire to grow and better himself as a person which in turn would have bettered our relationship. Throughout our time apart he very much did that, and I feel like the foundation of our relationship now is a healthy one, though it is definitely not perfect. There are other positive now that werent there before either. So in a way I feel as though I am practicing self love by giving the relationship the chance that I otherwise may have regretted. But I also need to make sure to keep in touch with my emotions and be aware of how they progress or fail to progress, in a way that I need in order to have a happy sustainable future with this person.. We will see as time goes by. I know this is not the typical happy romantic love story, where everything is just perfect from the get go but as of now I am willing to see how things progress - on both our ends because I dont know how his patience will be throughout this. That has been a bit of a struggle recently. As far as our conflicting needs that I talked about in the beginning

I've been reading "the body keeps the score" - brain mind and body on the healing of trauma. Very in depth book, I recommend ?

@Farnaby that is true, thank you it's always helpful to hear from another perspective especially from someone that's gone through it. It's a nice reminder to hear that I can't control his reactions, because through all of this I know what's best for me but I've been wanting to make sure I do my best by him too. I'll just have to be sure to continue to be open with my communication. I'm really hoping this book helps. I also discovered something called bioenergetics, body exercises to help the body release trauma. Therapy even if only just for myself would definitely not hurt. I have been without health insurance but finally got it for this upcoming year, so I feel good about that

This is important and what I think I need to figure out how to make him feel secure but in an authentic way to how I'm feeling. The truth is I care for him but he caused alot of trauma in my past and while I have forgiven him on a mental level, trauma gets stored in the body and I am reading a book on different techniques to move the trauma through physically. I am hoping eventually this takes away the guard that I feel is up towards him. He is supportive and asks about what I'm learning in the book, etc. Luckily our communication through all this is open and honest. But right now when he asks if I think it will work I said I don't know I will have to see. The damage may be done. It is honestly how I feel but at the same time i can see how it could cause him to feel as @Eph75 said, a bystander waiting for the unknown. But at the same time I'm open with about what he can do on his end to help me get there including not pressuring sex, and keep doing what hes doing in regards to continue showing me the growth hes made since the past when our relationship was traumatic. We were in an on/off relationship for a long time and were off this past time for almost 3 years until reconnecting 7 months ago. He has truly come a long long way. I am seeing if I can get there again emotionally but it is taking a long time.

@Eph75 @SamC @Farnaby@aurum Thank you for responding. My need is to have space and not feel pressure whatsoever regards to sex until I get to a certain place emotionally. To feel authentic in my actions and not ignore my feelings. His desires conflict with that. I understand of course that sex is a fundamental need and I want to be able to get to that place. He has been somewhat accepting and patient but it affects him. We have a complicated past, but without going into the nuances of all of that, I need this time to be able to get to a certain place emotionally to where we can have a sustainable long term future. My hopes is that I can there but in the meantime I want to handle things in the best way in regards to his side of things.