aklacor727

Good for you for doing you, loving your natural self and not caring what others think! ?

For a while I've been reading mostly non fiction but I want to start getting into more fiction, inspirational type books. Biographical books work too if they're really good. Any suggestions are appreciated and if you add in why you love it that's even better ? thanks!!

I think its both as well, but yeah it can be hard to distinguish between the two. Are the synchronicities you're seeing every day based around the same sort of things that you feel the universe is pointing you to one big decision that maybe you're afraid of acting on? or are they different? It happens to me sometimes when they are completely random and out of the blue to where I'm more inclined to believe it's an actual synchronicity rather than confirmation bias. But there was a time I was having a lot of them about the same thing, they had to do with a relationship I was really struggling with and at the time I dont think I really wanted to be in. So with that it could've just been me looking for excuses or justifications to get out. Who knows it could've been actual signs from the universe trying to point me in the path of not being with him or it could've been confirmation bias. So hard to tell! I'm with you though on having struggles following my intuition

@preventingdiabetes I enjoyed leo's episode on ego backlash because it recontextualized things for me, I would be feeling down and self critical for not being perfect, struggling with consistency, etc but its part of the process and completely normal to be up and down with your progress. If you look at things from a big picture, think of how far you've come as a person relative to when you first started self development and be proud of yourself for that, accept and love yourself for where you are, but at the same you can have consistency be a goal just curious but is your goal to be more consistent to avoid wage slavery as well then? Try focusing your attention on the positive side of things more often, I feel like a lot of it is just mindset and how you are looking at things. Dont make it about what you're avoiding and the negatives, but about what you desire and love about life, what interests you, brings you the feeling of excitement, the life you see making for yourself. Leo's life purpose course could be very inspiring for you if you haven't taken it yet theres a whole section on releasing limiting beliefs and values that dont serve you, etc on top of that helping you to find your passion of course if you're still looking for that (which it seems like you are, based on what you said about only being negatively motivated). I feel like consistency will be hard if theres not something you are passionately working towards, but you could always start small as well and do research on habit formation I watched an episode recently on YT by andrew huberman he gives a lot of good info in his videos

That may have happened because of the persons reaction when you told them, even if it was a subtle through body language, their level of interest or excitement about your plan, etc. Studies in psychology show that if others believe you will succeed, it is more likely to happen and vice versa, because of how they subtly treat you and react to you. (self fulfilling prophecy, and because belief -- either belief about yourself or others belief about you -- impacts identity, and identity impacts behavior and action) That's why its important to keep away from negative people, (or even just any random person that probably wont react to your plans with genuine excitement or interest). Only share with people that you know are positive and supportive, and that tend to be authentically excited for you and the plans that you have in your life. People that believe you can and will achieve anything you set your mind to.

One thing ive realized lately, is while I'm aware of the different spiral dynamics stages in people and how that translates into their worldview, values, etc, I do not tend to "meet them where they are at", and I speak from my spiral dynamics stage perspective during discussions and disagreements. That got me thinking about what the benefit of meeting them would be and what that would look like. I can see the benefit of connection, maybe even influence but I value authenticity and growth more which are more the benefits of speaking to them from my own stages perspectives. If I am higher on the spiral, my perspectives could contribute to their growth ultimately by opening their mind and helping to make them aware. It does cause more clashing and tension in the discussion of course, but wouldnt that be more beneficial ultimately for sake of growth? For example, say the person I am conversing with has a lot of blue absolutist type thinking, and I am much more relativistic. With the gap of two stages, would things just go over their head? And in that case I could see the benefit of meeting them at their stage.. or maybe even jumping into orange thinking since that's the next stage they would progress to. I guess also I am weary of reinforcing their thinking when I am aware of the limits to it. How would you/do you approach this?

@itachi uchiha true that. But I will always come across people in different walks of life, plus family members that are in different stages, etc. So I think its helpful and interesting to think about the best way to approach things with that in mind

@itachi uchiha I dont, it's just something I keep in mind. I agree people having similar interests would be ideal.

@DocWatts I love your nuanced response and self awareness with what you said about the red stage ? Thinking about it, I dont feel I have much of a shadow around any of the stages probably because I didn't grow up with parents or a community where there was a lot of strong opinions, shaping my worldview, sense of self, etc. Was pretty neutral until I became an adult and started seeking things out for myself. That being said, it's not that I get triggered by the other stages perspectives really its more now that I am just seeking for answers on when/ if I should try to meet them at their stage and what the value to doing so would even be. That's a good point what you said about having a shared context to ground the discussion. This way we can both stay at our stages but have a nice bridge between them.

@mw711 @Leo Gura Yeah its seeming like it just varies from situation to situation... So you feel like if someone seems open minded you share your authentic thoughts? If the person starts to get defensive then maybe that's a sign to pull back? I think I am just not seeing much value to meeting people at their stage, other than the sake of connection and peace. I think I would rather be myself and if the connection drifts because we can't relate, then that's just what it is. Unless there is some other value to it im missing ?

@mrPixel Definitely top of my list. I'd say kindness slightly above honesty usually because I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but if theres a way for me to communicate kindly and honestly at the same time that's definitely what I strive for. Usually if I dont feel like I can do that i won't say much at all, unless I'm dealing with a stubborn person then my honesty might come out more than the kindness lol. Sometimes I think the stubborn ones are the ones that need to open their mind the most. But again, I do realize they are at where they are at based on their experiences and all I can do is share my perspective, not change their mind.

@Leo Gura I meant when I approach them from my perspective/stage for the sake of authenticity, growth, etc, there is more clashing.... I would love a further opinion on this post if you had any input/ thoughts I would greatly appreciate hearing your view! Do you tend to meet people at their stage, or just be yourself, share your thoughts, and dont worry about it really? Say this is someone you see regularly?

@mrPixel I will definitely watch that, thanks! I understand they are at their own point in life based on their experiences, but when I am in someone's life I do have control over how I approach the conversations, hence making this post. (These are people that are in my life on a day to day basis). Also, I see why that may have come off as me thinking I am superior, but the nature of this thread is about the spiral stages so a specific example that relates to my question I thought would be helpful for input. Thanks for responding!

@Alec84 I agree with you, would be much easier. Alot of the reason I stayed "friends" was because he didn't necessarily do anything wrong, it was just my feelings weren't there in that way anymore and I felt bad, it was one of those breakups where it was very gradual and the final end wasnt like a fight or anything. I dont think I will be doing his haircuts anymore though for sure....sucks too though because I'm pretty close with his mom still and hes brought up here and there which I don't mind, just don't want to hear anything about his love life which I will tell her if that is brought up. @RendHeaven I think there is some truth to this. @intotheblack ok good, glad I'm not just crazy lol. Usually with any negative feeling that's what I try to do, just feel it n be with it .. Thanks guys

Was in a relationship with someone, (long term) it didn't work out but we stayed friends (very casually). I do his haircuts for him still as well. This person starts dating again. I don't know if its "jealousy" necessarily but I feel a weird and off, like I don't really want to know or hear about that stuff. I don't have a desire to be with him, I know us together just doesn't work. So why does it make me feel off?? Lol. I didn't think there were any feelings there. Anyone else not have feelings for an ex but still feel weird about when they have moved on? ? *confused why I don't feel neutral about it* is this common/normal?

I recently ordered the Larq water bottle that self cleans and purifies with UV light...check it out!

I have to say, of all of the personal development work I've done, I haven't had such a noticeable fast result. I am normally a pretty shy person, and have struggled with social anxiety. I have effortlessly been much more comfortable, talkative, and open. I'm literally amazed. I've taken them 3 times now and the 2nd trip was the one that did it. Not sure if this made the difference, but during my trip I lost my ecig, phone died, basically didn't have any source of distraction. I could've plugged in my phone and searched for my ecig harder but I decided to just go without them, knowing the theory behind distractions thanks to Leo and just laid in my bed for hours letting all the feelings arise and just fully feel them. It brought me to different visions and experiences that I believe allowed me to release pain and trauma that has been within myself. After a while of that I was just so peaceful and content being with the present moment. I have never been so fully focused and present in my life. Will continue doing shrooms every few weeks and eventually get the courage to try other psychedelics. ?

Just want to give an update! I still cannot believe how much that experience changed things for me! I truly believe leaving out my usual distractions during the trip and just delving into the feelings in my body completely gave me a huge release that I needed. I HIGHLY recommend doing this (the longer the better) with or without shrooms, to release whatever needs to be released in you to give you more ease and joy in your life! Ive been living with SO much more joy confidence authenticity and peace. I will say though I had a horrible shrooms experience after that, and was having experiences/awakenings to the groundlessness of reality which was absolutely terrifying and turned me off to shrooms and even listening to leo's spiritual for a good while. Looking back i was pretty depressed for a while there. Thankfully the depression has passed, and I am feeling back to my normal self but just better. Very much loving feeling what it feels like to live with that weight off of me. ?

I've been back and forth for a while on whether I want children. Being a 33 year old female, I feel I should get more clear on this! I am not in a relationship, content with that, but if I decide I do want children, finding a relationship would become higher on my priority list. I realized recently that a big part of my indecision because I am not a natural leader, which makes me insecure about whether I would be an ideal parent. I am very compassionate, loving, and caring, which is important for having children. But I want to feel confident that I can be a good leader in raising them to where they can grow up to be independent, self sufficient, responsible, all that good stuff. I wouldn't want to half ass parenting if I decided I wanted to go that route. I would want them to have happy fulfilling lives, and show them how they can do that. My mom was SUCH a kind caring sweet woman. But I dont feel I got an example of what strong leadership looks like. So not having experienced it first hand it is harder for me to envision myself being the parent I would want to be. I really cannot wait for @Leo Gura to release a leadership video! In the meantime, can anyone help me with this? I need a vision on what it would look like to be a great leader to my possible future children! I know this may not be the easiest question to answer in a forum but it is worth a shot to ask.

@Moksha I think another main reason why I am questioning having children is because one of my top values is peace of mind.. Its nice having a life without stress and worry. But I think alot of the reason that has been a high value is because I had many tough years where things were chaotic and I was unable to have peace of mind. But it has been a few years now I've been able to enjoy it and being past that chaotic time. So I think I am ok now with having more on my plate to challenge me emotionally, like what having children would do. The tradeoffs could be worth it ..and I love the idea of unconditional love ?

Me personally, if I smoke weed too often it does nothing spiritually and actually sets back my consciousness and personal growth. But I've noticed if I have it occasionally those times when I do, i am much more spiritually insightful and contemplation tend to come to me effortlessly. This is not if I am doing something low conscious while I smoke like just laying there watching Tv of course. Usually I'll take a bath or something along the lines of quiet relaxation. Also I notice the feeling of Love is amplified within me. I do notice my ability to focus/remember however is decreased. So at times I'll have these insights and things will make so much sense but I have to write it down right away before my mind goes off to the next thing

My shrooms trip last night was a terrifying one, realizing the groundlessness of everything. I just wanted to be ignorant again lol Hopefully my next trip is a better one.

Hi guys! So, one thing I've noticed about myself is I am not the greatest at sustaining new habits into my lifestyle. Some of the littler/easier things have stuck but there are a couple that require more self discipline that I really want to make work this time around and be a lifelong thing. Looking back I can see where I went wrong -- adding too many new aspects into my daily life too soon -- I was off work for months bc of the pandemic and I was really excited to have the time to work on my personal development and I think definitely got ahead of myself! Another aspect that I feel brings about a little more of a challenge for me is my work schedule is very inconsistent; the habit has to be at different times each day based on when I am working. Regardless, here is my game plan for this time around: 1) only focus on ONE THING for a minimum of 3 months (maybe even 6 just to make sure) before adding anything else! 2) I will have a calendar set up on my wall next to my bed where I will track when I have completed the habit. I am going to use color coded stickers and utilize something that I have heard of called Elastic Habits -- the idea is that every day I need to do the habit, but there are 3 different levels of difficulty/time spent I can choose from based on how much energy and time I have that day. That way even if I just choose the easy category for that day, I still get the satisfaction of getting my sticker and the routine of starting up the activity still helps to molds my subconscious, helping the habit to eventually become effortless! But it is less overwhelming and requires far less self discipline not having to put so much time in every day, if I don't want to. 3) Patience! This is about all the strategy I have going for me but if there are any other tips or suggestions you have for me, I would love it! Wish me luck!!!

@Ry4n yes! I still cant believe how much it TRULY helps evolve through all the past BS @roopepa I am always cautious lol. The guy I get them from has fresh shrooms as well as dried, I've been starting with the dried since they're not as potent. Once I move up to the fresh I will take probably half of the amount he recommends just to be sure and work up from there. But I will be even more cautious hearing this! Was it from shrooms or something else? @Demeter it was 1/8th I believe, and unsure of the kind but I can ask him next time I see him. Also I smoked weed during the trip and I think that made a difference too. Unsure what kind on that as well but can probably figure that out too if u like!

@kag101 didn't even see this until now! For example with working out, that is the habit I am incorporating next. Me personally yoga is what I enjoy most. But depending how I feel that day I have options. Easy day: just stretching Moderate day: 20 minute yoga session Advanced day: 20 minute yoga session PLUS say 20 minutes on the treadmill. Having the option to just stretch if I like takes away alot of the pressure!