bejapuskas

Hey everyone. Nowadays, I have been doing so many things on my own or with friends outside family. I used to call my grandma almost everyday, but now we have no common ground. My mum has the same problem. They also want me to go to church, but I don't really value their kind of faith. They always ask me about school and how I feel, but I hate talking about school and people can usually see how I feel when they see my face. I am also not really interested in simple conversations like this, they are just meaningless for me. When I was a kid and I played video games, they also weren't interested, now it's the exact same thing with Spiral Dynamics etc., I don't understand, what do they want to discuss. They think that I don't love them and want me to express my feelings more, but I just don't feel like talking almost ever. (if people have no interesting theme to talk about with me) I sound and feel very selfish about my behavior, but I don't feel any guilt and my mum hates it, she literally wishes for me to suffer from it, she said it out loud. I don't know what to do. I feel compassion for my grandma and I will be calling her more, but my mum just turned into a very bossy person, since my brother started going to grammar school (harder than his previous school), she is just obsessed about what his teachers think of him and she always tells him to learn for like 4 hours a day. I tried to help her solve these problems, but she isn't interested, she thinks that I am going insane, just as my dad does. I also think that I am going insane sometimes, but it usually goes away quickly and then I feel amazing for the other part of the day. Can anyone please explain to me, what is happening?

@Dan Arnautu Where can I learn how to read the test? My scores are: Open-mindedness: 94 Conscientiousness: 10 (holy crap, I need to work on this) Extraversion: 79 Agreeableness: 86 Negative emotionality: 7 I notice that different tests have different definitions for these personality traits... I usually get very high assertiveness, positive emotions and openness, but conscientiousness used to be quite high... It probably depends on the task. Extraversion depends on the people that are around at the moment, but I usually warm up quickly, even with adults and teachers... Do you guys have any more insights?

You are a machiavellian, stop seeing so much shit in other people, stop judging them and stop being so affraid of their intentions, it is no good for you. You can absolutely be good with girls, just in a different way, you will also get different (probably better) type of girls. You are probably not authentic enough, you have just accepted some dogmas about relationships from others, it's not the real you Get over it!

@Shin I have heard that yoga helps with focusing Maybe you can try it

For me, the key was to focus on presence and start making progress NOW.

I tried it yesterday for the first time, but after 8 minutes I felt intense pain in my arteries around my elbows, so I stopped. Is it normal for this to happen or was it correct to stop doing the exercise? I want to get back to it after a week.

@Roman Edouard Oh sorry.

@LiakosN Yes, actually physically dangerous, but I don't know, if it's true or not... I mean, anything is physically dangerous if you do too much of it, right, but some things should be especially taken care of. What do you think @Leo Gura ?

@okulele That's interesting. I feel like I am running away from these problems. I usually do my own thing, then they ask me to come, but I am too lazy to come, and when I come they usually argue, shout or discuss meaningless topics, that they don't even understand. I should probably take the responsibility onto myself.

I actually heard from my friend who tried it and did a bit of research on it, that it can be a bit dangerous, is that right or just a hoax?

@brugluiz Go watch some David Goggins and then try to whine Suffering to growth is a good and exciting way to develop yourself After you discover the helplessness of the ego, you will find that discipline and pain feel 100 times better than laziness and boredom.

Your arguments are still based on assumptions, you cannot see a star infinitely far away, just as you cannot see a sign that is 50 km away from you, it's too far, basic physics. Black is not a visual mistake. You see black if there is no light basically. I fell that you include more emotion in this than I do, observe yourself. If we were 1 thousand years ago in the past, I could say that the fact, that the Earth is flat, is an educated guess, now I would look like an idiot, you never know, when science could be wrong.

@okulele It's a nice idea, I like it, but I cannot imagine, that my parents and brother won't discuss these points after the discussion... They just care TOO much about what others think. They give up their emotional health for their quality of life easily... Can this make the problem even worse or do you think that it can solve it?

@Ali123 Try it and see

Your arguments stand on assumptions, you cannot know

Who said that the Universe is covered in stars? Even if it wasn't, there could be an area without stars... The stars could also be so far away, that the light that is coming to you hasn't yet arrived...

@okulele That's a great idea, but it will be hard to make it work. I actually don't feel like talking with them at all, but it is probably worth to try at least once... Maybe I don't enjoy their company because they have always been there and I take them for granted? It just popped up in my mind... What exactly do you talk about? Do you ever say what you dislike about the others? Do you discuss the problems? Are you trying to be 100% honest and direct in the conversation and say everything you think?

Try doing 14 cold showers a week

@Eric Tarpall You actually care so much, but you are resisting it, you don't face your fear. What resists, persists. Try journaling.

I started journalling today and I am pulling up all this dark shit from myself. Thanks for advice, I am just a liar.

@Sahil Pandit That's probably quite accurate. Well, I need to solve my own shit first... Is there a way for me to get what I want without making them feel like bad parents?

Why would you want to surpass them?

@Michael569 Hm... I see. Maybe I am still not completely healthy. My doctor prescribed me the stool testing by the way, so I will get more insight about my guts. My blood testing went really well, there are probably almost no other problems in my body.

But striving for perfection is also a trap. You can become excellent at your field, contribute society, but by craving perfection, you will go mad, there is always someone, who is better than you at something.

@Michael569 I started eating less sugar and I immediately started feeling better, I am probably almost healthy by now I will still see the nutritionist and do the testing if necessary, but it's getting good again quickly