bejapuskas

@Eric Tarpall You actually triggered a thought in me... Stop identifying yourself with the future. Can you do anything in the future? No, you can't, there is only now. By thinking, that somewhere in the future will appear a sudden shift, that makes you a chick magnet... man that's not gonna happen. Do the best that you can now, there is no other time to practice than now

By opening yourself up, you become a better man

I think I understood what you all meant correctly, no need to explain yourselves

@Simke Also, don't set any limits for yourself in terms of relationships, love is not rational. I actually have a group of friends who are excellent physicists, but they have never had a girlfriend in their life and they don't know what love is about... By choosing your girlfriend according to some logical reasoning, man... it will suck I actually remember a story, where a girl in my class was making a decision between me and another boy and she chose him, because he had a better phone Then they broke up and I started dating her lol. (we were 9 yo)

@Mu_ This is so true wow... Thanks

@Simke Try watching some Katie Byron. In my case, it feels stupid to have any problems with others, because if I write the problem down on paper (so it doesn't remain slippery in the mind) and I go deep enough, while being 100% honest with myself, I have the exact same problem, sometimes only in different area. It's like when Ron wanted to cure Malfoy in the movie you know... What do you talk about with the girls? Telling people what to do is not a good approach. Very few people enjoy complicated topics as well, because they don't bring many emotions to the surface... Now. Get a paper and a pen, write down: Girls that I like have a very low consciousness. And try to find in yourself - Where am I not conscious enough? Where am I getting self-decepted?

@Elysian Thanks so much for the effort you are putting into this. I will dm you.

@Pilgrim I actually hate physics, chemistry etc., but I like seeng the big picture, the map, where I can go. I am probably not suffering too much, my mental health is getting better and better But this spiral thing, when I see other people knowing so much about it, I always feel like a beginner and I also want to explore all this things, but I feel like I cannot even trust my mind at this point, because I got self-decepted so many times in my life. When I think about it, finding these problems in my life is kind of easy, it only takes me to grab a pen and start writing down my thoughts, then it gets much more clear.

@Elysian I am even more lost now, but this is getting really interesting

@Pilgrim So spending more time with my female friends and not talking about self-development for a while might help, right... @Elysian Ah, this is too advanced for me now haha. Thanks to Leo, I am well educated about all these things, so maybe part of me is yellow. I've always been spending time with people, who are older than me, when I was 7, my friends would be 12. When I played with them, I began to understand so many things, that other kids in my age didn't. So I am an effective learner, I am good at attracting people who push me forward, but maybe this need to know is starting to get limiting... But how do you grow then, is it just pure practice? What is growth actually?

They need to read some Deida

@Pilgrim It doesn't sound silly at all! I am not having any resistance with expressing my feelings or being compassionate, I am also drawing regularly all my life. @Serotoninluv I am probably open to cultural relativism, I speak multiple languages and I have no problem dealing with someone who comes from the opposite side of the globe... My family members often ask me how come I have so many friends on facebook that come from countries like Japan, Turkey, Brazil etc... Could you say what do you mean by cultural relativism and full relativism? I don't think that I am stage orange in all areas of my life, I am most likely stage green in most of them, in fact, my friends didn't trust me when I told them, that I probably have some orange areas The problem isn't really expressing emotions, being closed off or not compassionate enough... It's more like that I am trying to analyze many things and understand them through some models like SD... I mean, it's painful to think like that all the time, trying to understand stuff. Maybe this problem goes a bit deeper?

good job

@brugluiz Maybe focusing on breath doesn't do the job for you, because you are still living in the past/future. Become conscious of your body, the present moment and all the thoughts and stop trying to control them, stop running away You cannot start actualizing yourself tomorrow, tomorrow doesn't exist, there is only now. Here is how I discovered the helplessness of ego: I watched some Goggins, then I had a super motivated day, I did so much work, I went for a walk by myself, I focused on the present moment almost the whole day... It was just awesome. And then the other day, I had a massive backlash, I didn't even feel like getting up from my bed. But I said no to this and did the exact same thing as yesterday. It felt even more awesome! Realize, that all the negative thoughts, laziness, regrets... They don't even make sense, why would you ever pay attention to them?

@1x0 You can add Mother Theresa to the list

@zambize @kieranperez I feel like one has to master all the stages. A person can think like a yellow individual, but that doesn't mean that he has mastered the discipline of blue and marketing skills from orange for example... Correct me if I am wrong.

@Consept Intelligent orange can easily be mistaken for yellow from my experience But I don't watch their content so... I don't know well enough.

@Dan Arnautu I see, didn't know that about Julien. Tyler always seemed like the „mature“ one among the RSD guys The things that Gandhi and Mandela accomplished seem too big, it's hard to believe that they were green, but maybe it was like that When I read Leo's comments about SD, I realize how little I know haha... Is Naruto a viable stage green role model? He is super inspirational... Also Goggins' principals work well in higher colours too, not just orange imo

@d0ornokey I feel you totally. If you stop caring, expect the best from them, be warm, funny, compassionate, sometimes serious if needed... People will like you more, you need to provide value and not worry so much If you stop worrying, you won't have to worry basically.

@Dan Arnautu Awesome! By the way, how are Tyler and Julien in green instead of orange, I don't get it... Maybe I misunderstand them or not know their content enough... @Leo Gura More Spiral dynamics videos please! Purple and red would be awesome, especially their integrations. Maybe the healthy aspects of beige include understanding your instincts, mastering your physiology, exercise... So we can continue from there @Dan Arnautu Was Gandhi actually turquoise or green? Where is Nelson Mandela on the spiral, is he mostly green, or above?

@MM1988 Go read some Osho, he can give you a different kind of perspective on sexuality, if you know what I mean I am reading his Book about the ego and he talks there about this specific problem with relationships and intimacy...

@Ampresus I am dealing with that problem myself, so maybe I can help. I think that humbleness isn't just about religion and bowing. Try letting others talk more, stop taking anything personally, not even compliments, as they can make you think that you have only little to learn, which is never true, you can try to be more compassionate, there are just so many things that are connected with humbleness.

@CreamCat Maybe you are just having some ego backlashes? I have these too when I realize something profound They prevent you from going mad, don't judge yourself, it will fade away, breath

Hey everyone. Nowadays, I have been doing so many things on my own or with friends outside family. I used to call my grandma almost everyday, but now we have no common ground. My mum has the same problem. They also want me to go to church, but I don't really value their kind of faith. They always ask me about school and how I feel, but I hate talking about school and people can usually see how I feel when they see my face. I am also not really interested in simple conversations like this, they are just meaningless for me. When I was a kid and I played video games, they also weren't interested, now it's the exact same thing with Spiral Dynamics etc., I don't understand, what do they want to discuss. They think that I don't love them and want me to express my feelings more, but I just don't feel like talking almost ever. (if people have no interesting theme to talk about with me) I sound and feel very selfish about my behavior, but I don't feel any guilt and my mum hates it, she literally wishes for me to suffer from it, she said it out loud. I don't know what to do. I feel compassion for my grandma and I will be calling her more, but my mum just turned into a very bossy person, since my brother started going to grammar school (harder than his previous school), she is just obsessed about what his teachers think of him and she always tells him to learn for like 4 hours a day. I tried to help her solve these problems, but she isn't interested, she thinks that I am going insane, just as my dad does. I also think that I am going insane sometimes, but it usually goes away quickly and then I feel amazing for the other part of the day. Can anyone please explain to me, what is happening?

@Dan Arnautu Where can I learn how to read the test? My scores are: Open-mindedness: 94 Conscientiousness: 10 (holy crap, I need to work on this) Extraversion: 79 Agreeableness: 86 Negative emotionality: 7 I notice that different tests have different definitions for these personality traits... I usually get very high assertiveness, positive emotions and openness, but conscientiousness used to be quite high... It probably depends on the task. Extraversion depends on the people that are around at the moment, but I usually warm up quickly, even with adults and teachers... Do you guys have any more insights?