bejapuskas

Ime people with harder boundaries are still vulnerable inside and they sympathize when others react sensitively. Sensitive responses can help with supporting others who feel the same and to call out low consciousness people. I think to some extent one needs to dettach themselves, but you are ok if somebody offends you directly and you get mad. Rather than thinking about how not to subjugate yourself to some mean person, think about how you can behave better than them.

LSD gave me headache for some time period, I was worried for my brain. Fortunately it went away. Do not use psychedelics without understanding them please.

@PurpleTree I think what you talk about here goes much deeper than just making people uncomfortable by walking pass them. Maybe that is mostly you overthinking that people think about you so much? But then more serious damage can happen when you make assumptions and judgements against groups of people as a whole in my opinion, as it creates fear.

Have you heard about the hijab ban?

@PurpleTree What are you not feeling?

@PurpleTree Do not get defensive when you offend somebody. Try to sense whether it is right to apologize or no. Do not rationalize what you did while apologizing, even if you did not wanna do it. You can do really bad things unwantedly, it does not cancel the damage. When apologizing, it is the other person that matters, not you. Make sure that when you speak, your views are clearly not discriminatory, any mistake can trigger. (Think how easily straight people get sad when somebody mentions they cannot be proud of being straight, even though it does not even put them in danger) Educate yourself on as many topics as possible, so you can also understand intersectionality. Understand that one's identity is not too complex. You already spent so much time learning about the cisgender heterosexual amatonormative - you remember how things were not clear when you were a child and new to gender? Do not call somebody's identity a product of trauma. People who do this do not understand queer joy. Using the world black is not offensive, it depends on what it is combined with. Colour blindness does not see racism, so do not be racist, but do not assume somebody feels safe in a space, just because you "do not see their skin", which you do anyways. Be open minded. Some identities that are oppressed receive less recognition than others, or they might seem like they are not oppressed at first glance. (Non-binary trans, asexual, aromantic, caste, skin tone/colour...)

And please do not underestimate the influence a therapist can have. There might be all sorts of stigmas and judgements like the therapist is not developed enough etc. But to counter balance that perspective, I suggest that there are many good therapists who you can have an interesting conversation with and who can help you understand yourself better. Do not be ashamed to get some help.

Psychedelics every week is too much, even every month in my experience. I did them like maybe twice a year and even that was slightly too much. The afterglow does not even wear off in a week for me. Chill out, take it slow. I cannot imagine what kind of state she must be in after so much usage, but hopefully time will help her to be able to express and talk about these things more. I think she should try therapy, maybe she can find online bad trip integration therapist in some other country if that is not possible where she is from. Her moods might calm down in waves, gradually. How many weeks has it been?

@vladorion Racist remarks are not harsh truths. Harsh truths is to admit that one judges their own race unfairly.

@happyhappy why is that so ridiculous? @vladorion your warning probably will not be taken down at this rate. I have already taken one down because I had a genuine conversation with a member.

I second this, I also know girls who unfortunately learned this way.

@Thestarguitarist14 Lol ok we will see about that. Do you let your sisters read what you write here? I was also speaking hypothetically, not mentioning anything specific you did.

@Thought Art I suppose you have less context about this thread not having read through it many times, its fine. I think maybe you understand better now? I dont want to create a space where white people cannot speak, but at the same time, maybe they should in general listen more and let the people of colour speak more and teach their perspectives. @Raptorsin7 Just me, others did not issue warning.

I understand why you would react that way, I am not gonna give you a warning for what has happened on this thread. But you are aware that I would give you a warning for misogyny etc, right? Do you feel like I am having you as my favorite as a mod here? Maybe we can try using tones in this thread, like I did not mean the above message to be aggressive tone.

@Thought Art I found his initial post to not be purely critical. He mentioned both good and bad sides of Joe etc. I also like Joe, but he is like doing some problematic things, like misinforming people about a lot of things. I am happy we can calm down, but others are different from you. Others said things such as "I say the n-word many times every day, cancel me" or "Yes I am seriously racist" etc. I did the mistake of giving warnings even to people who deserved them less, I will learn from that. (They still got less points, even zero points) If everyone was like you and this thread did not start with people neglecting racism and saying it is not a worthwhile issue to try and solve, this thread would not go to shit.

I think the notion of a warning is kind of inflated. This is just a self-development forum, if you get a warning, not a big deal. People regularly get their warning points taken back. I am willing to discuss stuff with you and explain.

@PurpleTree He has a lot of warning points, trust me, I have my eyes on him. But I wanted to be more tolerant, because he got such a push back from everyone after bringing up racism. That is enough to ruin a person's day, I don't necessarily wanna give warnings for that.

@Thestarguitarist14 Please stop with the personal attacks, just ignore the people and report them. Verbal attacks do receive warnings, including your personal attacks. I understand sometimes one gets triggered if somebody is racist, but please do not overdo it, or you will be banned. Also, I was the only mod who gave warnings on this thread. Perhaps I made some mistakes and treated certain cases too harshly, but still, even mods do not consider racism warning worthy, but instead as just something that one agrees with or does not agree with. How do we create a space where black people do not feel singled out, as in they can see that racism is dealt with and taken seriously, while also educating ignorant people? I don't know if talking things through is an adequate trigger for somebody to change, I am willing to take warnings down if somebody seriously improves, as in they acknowledge that this forum is racist and transphobic and misogynistic etc., because I understand that ignorance is kind of innocent. But bad things can be done and damage can be caused even if one is ignorant. How do we deal with this then, any suggestions? So far, I don't think racism gets enough attention here.

@PurpleTree I did not use the word "special" as "all-inslucive" or "amazing", just special in the way that it is specific to white people. The same things you mentioned can happen to black people too. I am not saying drug addicts and homeless kids do not suffer, but they do not experience racism, if they are white. It is a different issue, there are many issues and many types of issues.

@PurpleTree People on this thread are not here to learn about racism, only a couple of those. Most people here are just saying "not all white people", and they do not take any effort to understand the OP, what he means or anything. The entire world treats white as if they were under special protection. There are white people who suffer and I am not denying their suffering, but systemic racism does not affect them, maybe prejudice. (And that is also horrible) No amount of preparation will save a black person from getting called police on for no reason. Sure, we can prepare them, they can get the talk about race, but then it still keeps happening. What you are receiving on this thread is what blacks receive daily. I am not positively biased in favor of the OP, I have previously warned him about his misogyny. I just dont understand why I should tolerate ignorance on a forum where people are supposed to question biases.

@Tim Ho I did not mean to offend you, just protect a user who is experiencing constant denial of his problems on multiple because of racism. If we are to take racism seriously here, action needs to be taken. I could message all of the users and talk to them for ages and maybe persuade one of them that what they said was very ignorant, but that would take so much time. In this group environment, they would most likely support each other in their biases as we can all see. How do you think this makes blacks feel? You guys only got a warning, it is no big deal, I can always take it down. You are not close to being banned or anything. This guy experiences a lot of ignorance of black issues here. If you see some racism against the Vietnamese or South East Asians specifically, you can always approach me.

The man complained about discrimination and you post this.

Indeed, Mod will show their power. If I ever see a thread like this again, ya'll will be in a serious trouble.

@Raze Maybe in the West, but not in other parts of the world. Non-boys are still deprived of education opportunities.

@lxlichael Having disgust in this way can even be towards oneself. Internalized transphobia sucks, especially if one is questioning or non-gender-conforming. It is good that you are aware of that and questioning that.