bejapuskas

You can find like minded people at events you feel drawn to, like psychedelic festivals, vegan food workshops, yoga classes etc...

This subjective experience happens quite frequently among meditators, for example Dalai Lama recognized Eduard Tomas when they met once. I don't know what it means, but it's not like something similar hasn't happened before.

@Eren Eeager Shinzo o sasageyo! (anime reference the op probably knows)

This sounds like impossible reality for me but maybe I know what you mean actually. I guess it depends on what you want out of your life, whether video games keep you from doing the things you value more than them. Also some people cannot get any intellectual stimulation because of having bad teachers, bad education methodology or whatever which kills their curiosity so they go into video games and use a lot of their mental capacity there in order to fulfill this need of learning something, and video games have a very high learning curve but they can also be very addictive.

One of the best ways to have something to talk about is to have meaningful experiences related to the position you are applying for.

You are inevitably changing something. But it is very easy to overestimate the speed at which you can make a change in the direction you want it to be changed in.

@evgn About OCD, you can talk to me. I think I am able to guess what you are going through right now. Also feel free to create your own thread about your issues so that the OP and you don't get too confused about two people's problems being discussed in one place

@INIT I am glad that you are still here to reply to us. From what you are saying it seems like your existence by itself is an unpleasant thing, why do you think that? You say that you have no idea what you are or what anyone else is, but you also say that if you would've committed suicide your body would not be there. Does that mean you would not be there also, or does that just mean that the body would not be there? Is that body yours, is it you, or what is that body? Maybe you wouldn't be insane for not knowing who you are, who is there to judge? The others that you also do not know who the hell they are? You say that 'if this is not insane, I have no idea what is'. So does that mean this is a limited concept and outside of the concept 'this', there are also concepts that are not insane? Or are all concepts insane? Could you live without concepts, could there just be no concepts? For there to be a concept of 'I', there does not have to be an actual 'I'. There can be a concept of a monster under the bed without there being a monster under the bed. But the concepts can make you turn off the lights and sprint to bed asap. What makes 'you' different from the 'monster under the bed' idea? Again, who is there to judge? You are talking as if 'you being' was a bad thing. Maybe you cannot unsee that, maybe you can, have you tried? When people call you crazy, does that immediately suggest that they cannot relate? Have you actually gave them the chance to relate in the first place? In order for someone to relate to someone else, there has to be a certain someone, right, and someone else to relate to. But what if there could be a believed thought of a 'false I' and overlooked 'true I', whatever that is, what would that mean? Would that for example bring up the possibility that someone could act as if they were not themselves and then if someone wanted to relate to them, they would just be missing the target by relating to the false I of the other person? Do you think it is possible that this is what is happening? You really don't need to understand anything, it's a matter of choice. One does not have to seek understanding if they don't want to.

@Don Wei That's cool that you got that handled. And I guess yeh judging these people is just a waste of time. I was thinking you might have had this idea that like when you get to this school, all your troubles will fall away and something magical will happen, that's obviously and expectation that will make you suffer. Life doesn't change with things like this for anyone in this sense. But yeh don't worry about it too much, you will get better, just stay honest to yourself

@Don Wei You might be very highly conscious, but that doesn't mean you don't need to organize your schedule, manage your time, study efficiently, do all the work necessary, build practical skills etc... You still have 24 hours and 7 days a week, just like everyone else. Be easy on yourself, you are in this limited human condition in this life and you need to go with that. Don't rush anything, the beginnings might be very hard to adapt to, so take it one step at a time, your problems are solvable, but don't focus at all of them at once, that would just be even more overwhelming for you. Maybe start with managing your schedule and then when everything is taken care of related to your academics, move to going to gym, then meditation etc... Patience. Be careful with building this sort of successful mask and trying to show it to others. A successful mask can get you valuable contact information, it can get you invitations to nice events, it can get you money and fame, but it won't get you self-acceptance. If you think you are a successful person who studies at their dream school in the Netherlands or that you are a highly conscious person who meditates twice a day and writes a book, you will immediately start going against that. I don't know what happened earlier in your life, maybe in Suriname, maybe it was related to this lack of opportunities, but you literally cannot be accepted if you show others your false self, it's like trying, but for someone else. You need to throw away these concepts about your identity and what you are to be able to be authentic and feel accepted. You might be feeling that this bad feeling will always follow you, because it is actually a pointer that is pointing, that this problem is rooted in this identity, which indeed follows you everywhere you go. I get the sense that you just need to break out from the illusion of being perfect and go back to work. Don't be afraid of hard work, it can feel good as well, it might actually feel worse if you try to run away and procrastinate. And yes, life can be better, you are missing connection with what you are and what you want.

By that logic, @zeroISinfinity would be the most awakened person on this forum. Jokes aside, can you be more specific, what do you usually talk about that others don't get?

@Adam M This is an interesting suggestion, just throwing out this question for anyone to answer: do you think one can be coached on how to be creative? I mean, creativity means, that you create something new, if there is intervention from someone else, then what is supposed to be creativity becomes reinventing, don't you think? Do you think that the best way to be a 'creativity coach' is to just be an artist and inspire without pushing anything?

If you are worried that you cannot find a girlfriend with a past like this then you really shouldn't worry

In how many things that you do can you use your creative capabilities? Do you limit yourself to using it only sometimes or can you actually use it more in many different things in different ways?

@Dany Balan Yeh people usually don't do what you tell them to do. Living by example is the perfect symbiosis.

This forum is about philo vs. sophy

@Javfly33 Whether that is a problem or not is an interpretation. Some people just don't want to become more conscious and there is nothing you can do with it.

@Dany Balan You can still pursue higher way of living even if others are leaving your country, it's not that big of a problem. Work on yourself and your limiting beliefs rather than try to blame others and complain.

Maybe the kick in the balls is not an illusion, maybe it is actually real, how can you know whether it is real, by someone telling you? Is God the problem or are you the problem, what is the difference between God and you? What is false and what is real? What does God awaken to and where does God fall back into? Can there be sense of self without there being a self? I am not sure whether you understand the words you are using in your sentences, or whether you know how to use them.

I think you might be deluding yourself by thinking that doctors, lawyers, engineers are the only happily living people. Happy living is what you want right, being a miserable doctor doesn't sound so good, does it. Go and watch some of Leo's videos on limiting beliefs and victim mindset, there are many lessons to be learnt for you there. In today's world there are so many opportunities for people even from less developed countries. Currently I am studying at an international school and I have classmates from Syria, Irak, Iran, Niger, countries like that, these people receive one of the best educations there is available for them and they will definitely not struggle in the future with finding a job. This is just one example, there are definitely many more, just look around yourself and see them, do some research.

@Javfly33 Maybe it is not about the states, have you thought about that too? It definitely isn't a given.

@ShardMare Yes, sometimes after a long time, sometimes the next day.

I second this, only talk to the people you are interested in and dream big. You can email psychedelic researchers, TEDx talkers, different youtubers that you find cool, just listing a few examples, but they will usually reply. You can use your age as a means to manipulate them into thinking that you are a poor child and they should help you

Op has shared some very vulnerable things for them here and it is clear that they want to change and don't have any dangerous intentions. People can do many things when they feel at the absolute lowest and this section of this forum is to help them climb up from there. And that is not always done by simply telling them that they are wrong or that they are monsters, it might sound scary, but people are almost never going to do what you tell them, even if you think your words are good or true. No need to remove anything. There are people who can understand you and telling them about what you've been through does not change their views on you at all, I hope you know that.

Literally all of these can be changed. You can see this clearly in that - your personality was different when you were a kid, there are so many Vietnamese living in the place I live and some of them are really high conscious accepting individuals worth befriending (they changed their location), the circle of people that surrounds you keeps on changing all the time since you were born... It's a matter of whether you can love yourself even when all of these things are happening, love destroys the notion of good and bad, you will be fine. Feel free to DM me about this, we can talk some more.