bejapuskas

Your life is a trip. Have you done psychedelics?

@Igor82 Do you think the girls on this thread have shown understanding of the male perspective from reading the first 18 pages? @integral Stop saying stage blue bullcrap. What you contribute to this thread is causing so much trauma to get triggered, it's disgusting you are still continuing to do this. You are only saying the obvious and giving advice to women that does not work. Mivafofa literally does martial arts as her life purpose and it does not help her. Education is the way and yes, in 1 on 1 relationships (where rape can also happen for your information) it makes a huge difference.

@soos_mite_ah Preach. There is this thread about toxic green where a user describes how they are triggered by toxic green without giving examples of toxic green. And many people except a few (for example Leo) just reply in a way that assumes they all agree on what toxic green is. It was kind of concerning for me to read that thread. I don't think people here understand Green. This forum is definitely Orange centered, people care about being right, social status, how others perceive them, proving themselves right... If we instead used the cultural diversity, considering each other's feelings and traumas, looked at things with more patience and non-judgemental mindset... And you are totally right about looking at things in a systemic way. One might say they believe in the equality of the sexes but they might simultaneously have an irrational racial preference that is not supported by any life expeience and is left unquestioned in their minds. Then one is not really a feminist because they do not perceive all women as equal. (I just don't believe in racial preference being a thing, it is nonsense) I get hit on by gay men a lot and I thought a lot about gender in the past and I think my reaction to when a gay man approaches me even though I am straight is not by any means a reaction of disgust. But like I don't see people reflecting on things like that here and connecting the dots. There is so much stage Blue xenophobia here. Questioning your biases does not just mean "becoming somehow enlightened", but it also means practical stuff, questioning the biases that kill people on the systemic level (such as homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny...) in one self.

@Gesundheit2 I think this forum has some sort of stage Blue and stage Green shadow. I mean Leo says in his videos like everything is relative, take 100% responsibility, good = evil etc... And that's all nice, but one can certainly misinterpret what Leo is communicating and take it to the extreme, which is what people are doing. It's annoying how there are still some topics that are taboo, like people do not talk about sex in school as much. Like the topic is so important, but they spend more time explaining fucking atoms. That's hilarious, their value hierarchy is ridiculously stupid. Information about atoms is something most people will never need, but everyone needs to be educated about romance, intimacy, sex, gender... You just cannot possibly avoid these topics. As well as many other things like politics, race, emotional intelligence etc... I mean if everything is relative, then like the only thing that matters in terms of morality is getting what you want, except that idea sounds morbid. I guess people need to have this collective sense of self in order to really feel this.

I mean it is disturbing to me, that we are talking about toxic green without giving specific examples here on a forum with such a huge green shadow and yet people act like they know what toxic green is.

@Windappreciator I think we agree. I thought I might have misunderstood you. I know very well what intrusive thoughts are like. But I take it as my responsibility to make the women around me feel safe and also to act in a way that does not exploit this feeling. @Gesundheit2 Yeh I mean, it's fine. It is very hard to step outside of the box while you are still inside it. It is sad to me that we have such high cultural diversity here and we pay so little attention to it. It can be utilized to enhance learning but we do not do it. I also live in one of the safest countries in the world. But I guess the women here were not exaggerating and as far as I know, Emerald, mivafofa and Etherial Cat also live in the first world, yet they are victims of multiple rape / sexual assault occasions. It's really sad man. Stage Green is so demonized here.

@Vagos I am still curious about the toxic stage green examples. Green is still very revolutional. If the world becomes Green centered in my life time, I would be very pleasantly surprised. Why fight against Green in time where Green can in fact solve so many issues? Trying to jump to Yellow seems like the path of more resistance. I notice there is a lot of triggering happening on this forum and in the world around Green opinions and I don't know how much of this is about the kind of triggering that came with every spiral shift in the history of humans and how much of it is about Green being somehow wrong or invalid or unhelpful.

@Windappreciator What you are saying is just ridiculous. Should they just accept that they can be raped at any point? I mean, should they not speak out and fight for awareness and change of behavior? @Preety_India Thank you for talking about your cultural context here. I think it is crucial for these guys to understand what you post about. The West-centric perspective is dangerous. But that does not mean that rape only happens in the third world countries, it happens in every single country, women are not safe from rape anywhere. Not even at home. @kai0 I am glad you understand that rape is never alright. The reason why girls wear clothes like this is often exactly because they are slut shamed by their environments. They want to rebel against that by what they wear. Have you never rebelled? Isn't it kind of natural to rebel? @Gesundheit2 @integral I understand why you guys would write the things you are writing, but like women already get these points. You are not being profound saying things like this. You are not opening anyone's mind from ignorance by stating the obvious. There is no need to "show women the dark reality" when they live it. They understand it better than you. What's needed is to bring awareness. Of course, it is beneficial to show other people different perspectives on things, but like sometimes it is also too much and it needs to be made clear that a perspective is not OK. Please don't undermine people's efforts to bring awareness to the table, I don't think you mean it, but just stop. You can't have immediate change, but that they also already know. This has been an issue since humanity started, it is so obvious that immediate change is not obvious. Nobody is denying that men can also be raped, but like there is some sort of inequality about the way people are aware of this. That means that both sides are privileged and disadvantaged in different ways. Some incels might victim-blame male rape victims by telling them that a man cannot be raped because they would enjoy it. That's wrong and horrible. I am willing to ban anyone who does this on this forum. But women are also victim blamed, slut shamed. Your sexuality is OK. You can have desires. Maybe at this point in time there is nobody who is willing to give you, or maybe there is, but make sure you satisfy your desires in a morally acceptable way. When you have a girlfriend, she might be horny less often than you. It might be frustrating for you. But understand that when you are feeling sick for example, her seducing you might be annoying even though normally it is not. It is OK to say something like "Baby, I am sorry for being so horny all the time, I guess I should find other things to do with my life instead of trying to escape, corona virus is affecting my in this way negatively. Sorry." And just masturbate on it to have some relief. Wait for her to get turned on. Or learn about female pleasure and communicate with her about what she wants to make her more turned on by you. That might also be an issue/solution.

Welcome to everybody's world This is what most people feel. If you understand that, it might help. What do you mean by toxic Green, can you give us examples?

@Windappreciator She already knows. And it does not justify action nor does it count as consent.

Women know very well about urges. But it is just not sexy to act on them when they do not feel like it. If anybody here denies that men can be raped, then I will give them a warning, but so far that has not happened, in fact, many of these female users here have shown understanding of the "male perspective". It's chill, nobody is denying your reality here. I know maybe people have done that to you in the past and you might be hurt, but please don't be. We are different people from those who have denied your reality, yeh?

@integral It is kinda stupid when somebody talks about a problem they have and you say "oh, but it is not my fault, I never did this". Do you realize how inconsiderate that is? Imagine a friend comes to you and says: "I need to tell you something, I am seeing things, hearing things, I have schizophrenia, I am afraid to tell my parents because I think they would judge me or send me to a psychiatrist. I feel so bad because what is happening to me is not in my control." And you answer like: "Yeah, but why are you saying this to me, I did not cause your condition..? Sure, some guys can potentially put bunch of LSD into your drink and cause some sort of hallucinations to awaken in a person, but not me!" - Here, you missed the point. Do you see what I am pointing at? That's not a good relationship advice. You better communicate with your partner. You never know, so many girls have been fingered in their sleep and you might just assume after having sex with them 20 times that they would love this. And you do it and they wake up and their traumatic reaction is triggered. Also not all men have strong urges, there are also people who don't want sex. Men can certainly get sexually abused. In fact, some members on this forum have and they have shared their stories. But I guess the number of women who deny this is lower than that of men denying women get raped this often... You get my point, no? But of course, if a guy gets raped by a girl, it is equally horrible.

@Parththakkar12 Do you by any chance believe the story of yourself not being able to get better because the girls who rejected you in the past did not give you feedback? Do you think there is no way to improve without feedback? Your mind can do amazing things. Girls also get rejected, don't think they don't. They also get assaulted, abused, cheated on, stalked after rejecting someone... Things you probably don't get. (Please don't say guys would enjoy rape) Some of them are so fed up by these toxic people that they are too tired to be nice to you. Understand that in this case also it might not be you. Thinking everything is about you and taking it personally and blaming a large group of people for it sounds kind of selfish.

@Loving Radiance The stories that people imagine, it is absolutely amazing to hear.

I actually kind of agree with you, more than half of world marriages in the world are arranged, which smells patriarchy.

@Loving Radiance You can pay attention and ask question to get a more complete story no? Isn't that interesting.

@Etherial Cat Yeh I got you x) @MatteO22 Only when he says "maybe homo" and puts his homie's hand in his hand. @Peter Miklis XDDD

@Lucas-fgm I don't want to argue with somebody about something they have not experienced, I am not trying to invalidate anyone, that's your projection.

No man, I am not denying compatibility, I think it is important. But I don't think most divorces happen because the woman wants to gain something. Good point. No. But it is not contradictory to it. Yeh like if there is more gender equality in a country and women are not shamed for divorcing their partners, of course, they will be less afraid to divorce and the statistics will be more. You know, in these countries you named, there is so much patriarchy. Sometimes these statistics are also skewed and they tell you nothing if you don't look at the context of the country, you can't look at Iran, Kenya and Turkey through western lense and see it just like you see US or Norway. In India, divorce rate is 2 %, but like 95 % marriages are arranged and most people have trauma from their parents and the relationships often end up going terribly wrong... It can work but like marrying willingly is better.

@soos_mite_ah Yeh so like receiving validation is not a passive process, right. If you tell an Incel they can get a girl to like them, they will not trust you because of their mindset. Similar with your situation, if you actually become able to receive compliments from people, not feel resistance towards them and feel good about what they say and belive that it is true, that's actually a sign of immense growth on the inside. It is not that you are avoiding the work you know?

@Harlen Kelly Instead of learning about what makes a happy relationship you decide to escape, that's victim mindset. If 52 % of marriages end in divorce and 80 % of the time it is initiated by a women who benefit from it... Do you mean like most guys are sugar daddies and their wives married them only for money? Do you think that's the most common reason for divorce? Sure I mean when it comes to kids, women are in an advantage, but man, it is not just numbers sometimes. Most people are not honest enough to handle anything serious.

Don't blame yourself so much. I mean Leo often talks about this 100% responsibility and not blaming anybody else, but then some things just really are not your fault you know? And some people just need a little guidance before they can take off and fly freely. It is very hard to do inner work with bunch of trauma and other people can help with trauma. Of course inner work helps also but like don't blame yourself for looking for being understood in the wrong places and normalizing toxic behaviors that have hurt you, yeh.

@Harlen Kelly Similar number of women also do not frequently orgasm or like never orgasm at all. So many guys are toxic. Women also. I am not surprised. Consent, female pleasure, honest communication is not taught in sex ed at all. These results are what is to be expected in such conditions. As if people were the endangered species here. This really should not worry you. People who decide not to have kids are heroes these days.

Sometimes the solution is easy, you don't need to create space, it is already there for you. Just don't speak, ask question and then listen. You will get better at catching interesting things to ask about with more practice. You seem to be reflective so I trust you on that. By speaking you are not learning much, unless the reaction to you not giving space points out to you the thought that creates suffering, but that seems to have already happened to you.

@Parththakkar12 Find a girlfriend who is not afraid to give you stuff sexually and then apply what Leo taught you about female orgasm. That way you are already so much better of than so many guys around your place. Like some guys don't even know clit exists so a girl might be surprised if you find it first time. (It's easy, you can do it while blindfolded) I understand covid in India is crazy and you might need to stand inside for some time now. But like if a girl does no want to give you it is either that she does not feel safe in which case you listen to her more, or that she is just scared. (Likely for some legitimate reasons like trauma from assault etc.)