Darlisto

Hey Vision. Thanks for your post, appreciate your vulnerability, your openness and your willingness to experience a positive shift in your life. Here's my advice to what you've mentioned. First of all, the problems you are experiencing with your parents are a inherent part of your path. They will have some conservative and out-dated expectations and desires of you that are not in your best interest, or that are simply not harmonious for you. It is your task to reclaim your full autonomy over what you find meaningful, important and 'right', so to speak. This might create some conflict and friction in your home situation, but this is all part of it. Open, honest and courageous communication around this is key, as this will make your parents aware that your perspectives and outlooks on life are not the same, which will not only create a new mutual understanding, but will also increase your autonomy over your life. Over time those expectations, opinions and desires of your parents will change with your behavior and gradually no longer hinder you to do your own thing and they will understand, hopefully loosening the manipulative behavior. This new sense of autonomy and courage, might also reflect in how you see yourself, your self-esteem how you approach your goals and dreams and how you assert yourself in relationships and life generally, which might help you in advancing with making close connections. I believe that you can only have intimate connections in life, if you have an intimate connection with yourself first. As mmKay mentioned, Self-love is key. It's a very abstract term and it can sound very airy fairy, but approaching your problems and struggles through a compassionate and self-loving perspective does help. The english word courage holds 'coeur', which translated in French literally means heart. In the end, it is your inner child that is dealing with all this controversy, hurt and loneliness. It might be anxious around taking responsibility for all of this, being social and being vulnerable, so taking the time to be gentle with your emotions and understanding them helps a lot, as from what I can read you are a bit more conscious and emphatic in contrast with the people around you. I can relate to this, but remember that there may be a lot of people just like you in a very similar situation which you are simply not aware of. Stay open-minded and be careful not to make preassumptions about people, something I believe we all fall for way too often. By the way, could you explain what you mean with purple shadow? The last thing I want to mention in regards to friends, something from my own experience, is that you may have a friend that is not a perfect match on all domains, interests and passions, but can still fill certain relational needs and joys. For example, I have a friend with whom I can play, laugh and joke around with, but the relationship is not really fulfilling on the higher, more conscious domains and topics such as creating meaning, self-development and life purpose. At first I was like, he doesn't understand me fully, I feel misunderstood, I feel like we're two worlds apart, but once I started to simply accept that we are not the same person, it was possible for me to simply enjoy that aspect of our friendship. I can talk about those other domains with maybe another friend, or one of my parents, or even find satisfaction in a mentor or person on YouTube. Another person may have similar interests and perspectives on life purpose. Another friend may have the same emotional issues etc. Not being too picky, and seeing yourself as your best friend, number one so to speak, is key, because the more you keep focusing on your path, your needs, your soul's desires, your most blissfull dreams and gently taking responsibility for all those, the more friends, lovers and harmonious people will magically appear into your life. Hope this helps, feel free to shoot any questions you may have!

First of all thank you for sharing so openly and vulnerably. I can truly sense your intention to turn things around and make a positive shift in your life. From what I sense from your message is that you have a very strong negative relationship with your inner child. You say that you hate yourself and your life, but I feel it's important that this pain, frustration and overall suffering you are experiencing is stemming from childhood conditioning. The more you say you hate yourself, the more you deny those subtle emotional signals from your inner child and past, creating a stronger gap between your current conscious experience and your past. Try to approach the situation from a loving, compassionate perspective and see that your inner child has certain needs and may truly be anxious about certain things. Definition of anxiety: feeling or showing worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Anxiety is okay. Life is inherently uncertain, chaotic and unpredictable and it can be scary at times. Trying to acknowledge those fears, being specific where they really stem from and then transmuting those step by step always worked for me. Life and self-actualization is not measurable in months, years or even lifetimes. It's an eternal journey so you better embrace it and make the best of it. Balance life, seriousness, work and 'self-actualization' with play, joy, finding meaning and humor in the juxtapositions and details of life and I'll think you'll do just great, because you strike me as a responsible, successful and wise person. Lastly, about the mind being disarray. Yes, I can truly relate to this, also due to the fact that we are deeply conditioned. This conditioning of our mind is our prison from the perspective of a victim, or your School of Life from the perspective of a warrior. The choice is yours. The subtle message from your intuitive knowing and impulses from your higher self are often much stronger and much more harmonious than the endless black and white thinking of your analytical mind, trying to figure life out. Trust your response, trust your inner child, trust to play and surrender to the magical surprises that life has in store for you once you start to trust, love and have faith in the endless powers and potentials of your brave, creative and ingenious inner child.

First of all, thank you for sharing your experience and being so open and vulnerable in that. I can really sense that you're doing beautifully on your path and that you're serious about your self-actualization progress. This in itself already makes you a warrior in my eyes. I'm at a point where I am 29 now, and I've smoked for a long time. I no longer smoke, and I can see the downsides, but I can also definitely see the upsides. The increased perspective, the higher insights, the physical relaxation. I'm not saying that there aren't any downsides because they are obviously there, but try to be honest with yourself. Are you in an upwards movement in your life energetically? Do you feel you need more understanding, more insight, a higher perspective, more connection to the world of 'Spirit' and insight? Do you need inspiration for your life? (Feminine Pole) Or Are you ready to ground yourself? Do you feel you need social interaction, physical intimacy, the manifestation of your dreams and putting your inspiration into action? (Masculine Pole) In the last case, I would advise you to really see why you want to stop smoking, how smoking really stands in between you and your most fulfilling dreams, your most abundant service and your most blissful potential. This will make the process much easier. The craving for weeds goes away once you start to channel that addictive energy into your dreams, your creativity and your physical strength, vibrancy and well-being. The first days seem impossible but after a few nights the worst part is over. P.S.: One last word of advise I would give to you and my 22-year-old self: don't be too hard on yourself for smoking and try to do your best to approach the act of smoking from the compassionate and loving perspective that your deepest inner child has certain anxieties, fears and emotional confrontations that may be hard to handle. The illusion or maya of life can be confusing and the responsibilities can be hard. Sometimes we need to focus on self-actualizing, improving ourselves and being strict, but don't forget that the other half is simply being, enjoying, playing and relaxing in the wondrous gardens of Life's beauty. Be honest with yourself where your needs lie, and then take to take full responsibility for those needs and dreams.

First of all thank you for your post and being so open, vulnerable and honest about your issue! I can truly relate with what you said in your post; it is true. When we first awaken it truly seems that we are alone and separate on this new path and journey of awakening, and everyone else is not. Once I started to realize that everyone is one their own path, and that everyone is going through their own for of suffering, learning and awakening, it made me realize that I'm actually not alone, but that we are all in this together. All 7 billion of us. I believe the key to dealing with this feeling of loneliness and separation is try to be as open, honest and vulnerable as you can in all your relationships. This starts with listening deeply and asking meaningful questions, which often leads to the realization that indeed, everyone has their own path in life; their own rabbit hole so to speak. You may feel that you are different in certain ways, for example, that you are aware of certain truths, techniques or beauties that they may not be aware of, but trying to share those in a courageous way, and trying to create a new mutual understanding between the people around you, often does wonders. Your relationships might shift to a new level or understanding and love, or they may not, and then it might be time to accept that. New awakenings and new beginnings often come with certain endings, meaning that some relationships may no longer be beneficial, fruitful and satisfying to you. Of course, you can only conclude this when you truly tried to make yourself understandable in these relationships, trying your best to create a new flow of understanding, communication and union. That being said, I believe with family it's important to cut it off from your life because they play a big part in the development of your inner child, your personal understanding and also certain karmic entanglements. Do your best to honor, nurture and be open in your familial relationships, as they hold golden properties, lessons and surprises in your life. Hope this helps, feel free to hit me up with a more specific explanation of your experience or certain question you may have! Good luck warrior ; ) Charlie

@RoerAmit Hey Amit, Great question. I love how you are willing to work on yourself and overcome your anxieties. From my experience I believe that first of all you have to understand that everyone is DEEPLY different. Different in their conditioning, their upbringing, and also their fears. This makes it that there is no solution for anxiety that works for everyone. If you want to cure YOUR anxiety it's very important to be specific on what you want to heal, change, transmute and awaken within you. To start of with, anxiety is a very general term. What is it that your anxious about? The first definition of anxiety I found is: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Just from observing this definition, you can already see a problem because life is inherently chaotic, uncertain and unpredictable, so we never have a certain outcome on what is going to happen, whether it is in life, work or love. So first of all don't be too hard on yourself on being anxious. Feelings of anxiety are part of our human condition. But then again, that doesn't mean you can't work on yourself and really make huge improvements in how grounded, confident, fearless and faithful you navigate through life. Again, I believe the key is being more specific on what it is you are experiencing. If you know what it is you are feeling, you can then focus on that specific domain, fear or emotional nervousness. Some examples: Are you worried about being social? Are you afraid of authority in your life? Are you afraid of being on misunderstood? Are you afraid of death or being physically harmed? Are you worried about taking responsibility of your life? Are you worried about your direction, life purpose and career? Are you worried because you're taking into consideration others opinion too much? Do you (believe you) need validation from others in order to be whole, worthy and good enough? Are you struggling with emotional nervousness because there is to much built-up tension in your body? Are you struggling with emotional nervousness such as shame, the feeling that you are unlovable and not good enough? Are you struggling with emotions such as guilt and morality, the feeling that you are wrong or doing the wrong things? I could go on for a long time, but I hope you get what I mean. I feel that the term anxiety is too vague, you have to understand yourself on a deeper level if you really want to reach the highest stages of peace, faith, self-actualization, fulfilment and love. Obviously, I don't know you, but one general rule that often works is approaching your fears and anxiety with love and compassion, as in the end it is your inner child that is hurt, 'anxious' and scared. It is your inner child that is desperately sending you these signals, and the key lies in understanding what these emotional signals are trying to say. Hope this helps, and feel free to share more specifically what is you are experiencing and I'd love to share my insights. Charlie

Love this topic, and I totally agree with the power of sad songs. But I feel that there is one really important aspect of this that is not mentioned here, which is that music is deeply personal. Music that somehow links us to our past, the depths of our subconscious mind and the forgotten memories of our inner child is extremely powerful because they already hold certain energetic patterns and traumas in our body desperately waiting to be felt, re-experienced and released. Apart from finding new music, trying to find and rediscovering those songs that made you cry as a child, is a great source and potential for healing and transformation. If you're interested about the relationship between spirituality, personal transformation and Music you can read about it in this article, called 'Soul Resonance and Music'.

Hey Andreas. Great question. Here's mine and my perspective on Life Purpose in general. I know that my deepest purpose is to share and communicate so that I contribute value to others. I feel it's very much related to the throat chakra, which is all about self-expression, truth, authenticity, healing, arts and communication. After having finished University as an engineer I felt completely lost, inauthentic and conditioned with shit from society, mass media, consensus reality, school, my friends, my family and society at large. I was lost but determined to reclaim my authenticity and feel like I'm getting closer every day since that period. I see living your purpose is like peeling an onion. You start completely out of alignment with your purpose, seeking and searching for clues within and around you. Doing so you get closer the core, which is where the truth, your inner child and the Absolute are waiting with the gift of your Ultimate Purpose. Here are some key things that helped me along my journey to get closer, deeper and higher to your life's purpose. 1. Know that Life Purpose is something that is created by yourself, it's not out there. Start within with the inner child. What were some main issues in your youth? What was the main theme in your life when you were young? Some of your greatest passions, skills, gifts, talents, fears and obstacles are often great clues. 2. Doing personality tests such as Myers-Brigg and others. Although they are not specific enough to point you towards your exact purpose, they can give some pointers towards authentic hobbies, passions or career paths that resonate with your personality type. Here's a basic one. 3. Use models such as Ikigai (Google for a visual representation). It's a Japanese model around finding purpose and meaning in life. It suggests that we should combine 4 things in order to find a fulfilling, purposeful and sustainable life: - Things you are passionate about - Things you are good at - Things the world needs - Things we can be paid for. 4. Being open-minded, curious and think outside of the box. Stay open to the infinite possibilities that your Life Purpose may be, and don't stick to the traditional, conservative and mainstream path. The changing times of the 21st century is an era in which there has never been so much opportunity. Use it. 5. Ask yourself meaningful questions. The quality of your life depends on the questions you ask. What do you naturally gravitate towards? What has been the most meaningful in your life thus far? What gives you true fulfillment? What do you value in life? What resonates with the deepest aspects of yourself? What makes you come alive? 6. Be serious about finding your life purpose. Make it your life's number one priority if you haven't found it yet. A man without a purpose is spineless, always grasping at puffs of smoke but never really alive. 7. Contemplation, meditation, psychedelics, nature, solitude, vision questing, reading are all potential guides leading you towards your inner truth which is where your purpose awaits. Raising consciousness is key. Low consciousness = Asleep = Inauthentic = Seperation/EGO = Hollow. High consciousness = Awake = Authentic = Holistic/Contributing = Meaningful. 8. Spend a long time contemplating your values. There are the fundamental building blocks that not only determine the quality of your life today, but also the authenticity, vitality and excitement of your vision in the future. 9. Think in terms of service to others. Contribution, holistic perspective and serving the whole using your gifts, talents, strengths and passions is one of the most meaningful, loving and inspiring things to do. It's not easy though, or else everyone around you would be living it. 10. Leo's Life Purpose course. I took it, and I would recommend it if you are serious about your sense of Purpose. It contains the most essential, meaningful and fundamental insights, exercises and self-reflective contemplations that will help you massively in your life. Absolutely worth the investment. 11. Find a balance between information, concepts and ideas on one hand and doing, trying and actuality on the other hand. You can only be sure of things once you've tried them. Actual EXPERIENCE, KNOWING AND FEELING is key. Let your intuition be your guide but honor its divine guidance by following up on it! Hope this helps, wishing you much courage, insight and discernment on this magical trip called life. Enjoy