Shadowraix
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Everything posted by Shadowraix
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Saying it is me doesn't seem like a solid answer. "God is in the earth worm but the earth worm is far from God." I may be a part of this big mind, but to shout and say "I am God!" is a half truth. So speaking in the perspective that I am this mind. I could simply create life like humans in which they could never know the whole answer. See if I designed this body to never be able to have certainty that I designed it and to stray away from the actual truth by forcing other ideas to be logical and the actual truth to be nonsensical in the mind. So then I can see how I myself acts. Nonduality may imply duality is false, but does that mean we should resort to singularity as the answer? You might ask "What other way could it be?" and even if I answer "I don't know" that isn't actually solid proof that alternatives don't exist. If I designed myself to be deluded from the get go, isn't the actual Truth unknowable? And if this mind is a simulation of something bigger, is it possible to design it in such a way that it can't ever know it is a simulation? I haven't gone through your entire library of videos, so I didn't catch that. Much appreciated. Will watch/finish soon.
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Logic and reason is an interesting thing for it seems to be an inherent function in thinking, but im skeptical on if that even holds even ground. Infinite realities means one in which current logic and reason is nonlogical. Buying into a lot of these ideas that derive from the nondual paradigm often makes me feel deluded even though they make a lot of sense.
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@Nahm And whats to say this infinite and infinitely intelligent mind is not a simulation of something bigger that is then mentally creating what we experience? Whats to say a lot of nondual concepts hold some truth but aren't entirely true and its all one big path/possible outcome being simulated. The raw idea of duality vs nonduality is a matter in how the mind perceives. But what if there is an alternative answer beyond comprehension? We all rely on a few core principles to shape knowledge 1. Thought 2. Experience through mortal faculties. Both of which can be utterly false. Imagine a person utterly convinced duality makes perfect sense and is the truth. In general its about like that for mind to manifest us and project any idea it wants on its creation. Almost feels like some big cosmic joke mind can choose for us to be aware of or not, or even make us think we are aware of some false alternative. Also I am using nonduality very loosely than a very tight linguistic term. Consider it now all of the ideas of writings like the Kyballion or the more recent topics that Leo has taught. I'm talking about all the ideas that often come with nonduality paradigms. (I just often shortened it to nonduality for easy sake)
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"this is the only way out of this endless hell in which consciousness keeps changing forms forever" What exactly is this endless hell you're talking about? There is no way out of consciousness and its manifestation. Reincarnation doesn't exactly conflict with the one life idea. Being born in another life is just another manifestation of consciousness. Motivation for the current corporeal form you have ultimately comes from an innate desire to make use of it. Its about living in the present and using the potential "future" to morph your present into what you want.
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Shadowraix replied to Cortex's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Describing things as a hallucination is really just a good analogy and I don't think is meant to be taken literally. I mean if all is mind where do we even define what is "real" The word real is entirely flawed from the get go. We often attribute mind to hallucination so its a good perceiving tool. -
There are a lot of various ideas that come with the nonduality paradigm. You can say everything is one but that is unsatisfactory and thats where you draw conclusions of some all infinite mind, true nature of consciousness etc. A lack of something to compare it to isn't evidence that nonduality ideas is correct though. Not being able to think of an alternative doesn't inherently mean that an alternative does not exist. What if our inherent structure of logic and ideas is entirely false and illusory. What if ideas within the nondual paradigm are partially correct and partially false? How can I be certain and KNOW these things? I don't think I can. I can draw most likely conclusions. Wouldn't to see the true nature with certainty require absolute infinite knowledge?
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Shadowraix replied to MarkusSweden's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Correct, full enlightenment would imply drawing back into the all mind and knowing what the all mind knows. This would require us to be beyond our corporeal form. We may have figured out aspect about the nature of everything, but that doesn't mean we will have access to everything the all mind does. Fitting infinite into finite doesn't work. We are basically forced to experience the various depths of the all mind though until the mind decides its time to draw us back in. This mind is our home -
Shadowraix replied to Hamilcar's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I'm not sure I am understanding. Why would you experience acting upon stuff if it couldn't act upon you? To question why something isn't a certain way you must have a reason on why it should be that way. The manifestation of the universe is bound by the laws and we are bound by human faculties in the experience of the human body. -
"Stop asking the universe for things," Why? Asking the universe for things is a very useful tool in receiving answers. Or rather asking questions to the universe as you are essentially asking yourself.
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Shadowraix replied to emind's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
That emptiness you experienced is a good equivalent to pure consciousness. The ego does not want to let go and turn finite into infinite. You still have to navigate this world even as an enlightened one, enlightenment just gives you a recontextualization on how to do it through not only knowledge but experience. Dissociation is scary at first, I've experienced and embraced it many times, not necessarily through meditation. Acknowledge how you feel instead of trying to interpret it as good or bad. -
That is because mind is attributeless and can take on any form, including interpretation of itself.
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Shadowraix replied to Aaron p's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
On my DXM+LSD trip one visualization that helped me understand meditation was I saw energy in me and that energy was connected to everything, the universe. Meditation is what draws me back into myself to foster and harmonize with that energy when usually we are so focused on the outside. This is a very dualistic idea but it is a start. -
Shadowraix replied to MarkusSweden's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The Kyballion makes great emphasis on the phrase: There is absolute truth and relative truth, beware of half truths. -
Shadowraix replied to Devil's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
God is in the earth worm but is far from being God. -
One of the problems I see while yes we all do have a very vague mutual understanding of social norms in how to act and communicate there is a LOT of variation from individuals. And this often derives from personality. I love dark humor jokes and a lot of my friends and I share them. Other friends, not so much. I have friends in which insults are normal and friendly, others would get offended. Does your gf realize that while her social norm standards have some truth in what people might expect that it doesn't apply to every person? You have to really get to know a person before you truly find out what is and isn't acceptable to them which that inherently is arbitrary. Aren't you a direct example of this variation in norm standards? So why should you follow her standards and why shouldn't both of you adopt the standards of a different person? One problem with behavior is that you can act intending an expression of one thing and they interpret it another. In private 1-1 contact if your gf is still interpreting you as rude then its not only about social situations with others but she is forgetting a key component that not everybody will abide by her social standards. What she should do is be learning your behavior and intentions behind such behavior so that she can accurately interpret you. In the social standard I think there is some possible grounding in being more thoughtful in if what you could say could upset someone and potentially rephrasing it differently. People like to jump to conclusions based on voice tone and attitude and also depending on if you are challenging their ideas or not. So saying "Aw it can't be that bad!" is a direct challenge to his ideas and can make people defensive. In social situations you could see it as some kind of puzzle. Now if you get to know someone better you then you can start dropping such caution in social situations as its far less formal.
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Shadowraix replied to Shadowraix's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Good points. Although I did find one study regarding photoreceptor toxicity with LSD (Yeah 1 study so grain of salt) and the whole HPPD thing for some people is definitely a concern. It is a drug with one of the highest physical safety profiles though. I'd say prolonged use of psychs has resulted in mental problems for some, but tolerance levels and overall mental strain makes it harder to abuse. Prolonged disso abuse can lead to kidney damage and cloudy minds/ scary dp/dr symptoms if you don't give your body ample recovery time which isn't helped that you can do it every day and feel fantastic. (Erowid recommends 3 week break for 3rd plat doses 4 weeks for 4th etc between DXM doses) Maybe 5-MeO will be the single substance for me, but I do still see myself trying dissos like Ketamine and maybe mixing it with psychedelics to have the experience. If I can obtain 5-MeO instead of N-N DMT I will do so. I'm actually going for lsd+mdma pretty soon and hope to get something really special out of it. MDMA is basically a therapist for me, helped me uncover and deal with some deep trauma I wasn't aware of. 125ug for all out God mode? Wow! That blows my mind. I can't even fathom when I only got a taste of it on 1mg Information is much appreciated though. I find dissociatives to be the darker cousin to psychedelics in a way. Very interesting. -
Hello! This is going to be a very drug oriented post. Psychedelics are highly regarded as being capable of being tools for personal development and getting introduced into nonduality. My first experience of the nondual paradigm was on 1mg of LSD. An absurdly high dose. I was basically on the floor most of the time but during my come down it was pure bliss in which it clicked like a lightbulb that everything is one. I didn't know why. I just knew. It took such a high dose I think because I've grown up as a highly logical and connected person to my perceived reality. Although I don't know if autism has any role in that as I was told that I am a high functioning autistic when I was young, No idea if I was diagnosed. I also expressed many attributed behaviors as a child to this. But I digress. I stumbled upon DXM in OTC cough medicine soon after graduating high school and the idea of a dissociative intrigued me so I began to experiment. I ended up going into 3rd and 4th plateau territory in which you can perceive landscapes in darkness, tons of shapes and images. I remember visually seeing time come to a halt and seeing what I perceived as God. If you decide to experiment yourself after seeing this post, beware that high amounts of dissociation can be scary if you don't know how to handle it. Its also very habit forming. I had a bit of a problem for a little bit, but fortunately wasn't very hard for me to correct. Always do research! To the meat of the story: this one instance I decided to combine DXM with LSD. 300mg of DXM and about an hour in I took 500ug of LSD. I was also in a call with a friend for this. and OH BOY was it a ride. Its a very hard experience to recall. The first thing that happened was my mind went to heavily focus on the electrical sounds of my computer. Almost like I was tuning into it. It was then I knew I was in for a ride. Visuals and colors were cycling on everything I saw, the colors blended like a smooth gradient, the visuals like the tracers were SO intense that I felt like I could create my own reality as if my hand was a paintbrush. I remember perceiving the universe being built up from its most fundamental form up. It was as if LSD made me hyperfocused on my perceived reality but DXM was the key I needed to take my mind out enough to really let the LSD lead my mind. I remember talking to my friend about reality once I was able to get myself together to talk and I was in awe at the sheer infinite scale of reality and I just started laughing and said "IT JUST WORKS" A full near 8 hours stuck to my bed and my mind like pushed me off a cliff straight into nonduality at hyperspeed. It was this trip that meditation made perfect sense to me and I questioned why I was even confused by it. It was realization after realization. It shattered what I had thought before and I spent a long time after it just trying to fathom the knowledge I had received. This trip was also when I was shown Leo's video "The magnitude of reality" and was introduced to Actualized. This sole trip was what caused my entire paradigm shift unexpectedly when I kept doing LSD before to try and understand what all these guys on these psychedelic forums were talking about. Now it all made sense. So this has made me question. We see so much about psychedelics for nonduality purposes, but can dissociatives be a tool for such too? Has anyone had any profound experiences due to dissociatives? Maybe I just found the drug combination that worked for me? But still it blows my mind to see just adding a low dose of DXM what it can do for me that high doses of lsd was nowhere near close to doing. (I have no experience of 5-meo but DMT will be soon )
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Shadowraix replied to Cortex's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Leo describes in his "10 things you want you don't know you want" video that one of those things is you want the world to feel magical again like when you were a kid. We often become dulled to the magic of our usual perceived reality and drugs become a great exciting new experience. Those who do psychedelics way too much lose the 'magic' and it no longer is fun. Too much exposure to great things dulls it for us. Like buying that new video game and no longer playing it within 6 months. Of course that is one reason for drug use and ultimately was the reason why I even touched lsd in the first place. I wanted to see visuals. Unhealthy relationships with drugs often stems from frayed relationships with themselves, those around them, and the world around them. I had a bit of problematic DXM abuse for a bit because I was bored all the time and so I had a frayed relationship with the world being dis-satisfactory. Yet I've never had a problem with psychedelics since I've never used it to compensate for something per se but as a learning tool. There are 2 meanings to escape here and I think you and strikr are using different meanings. Strikr is using it in the way that escape is the intent to leave the current perceived reality to avoid dealing with some issue or emotion. That is a common reason to want to escape, but attaching that solely to escape is an assumption. Escape is simply a desire to leave current perceived reality into another one and that can be anything from to avoid dealing with issues to have a different mindset for self inquiry. -
Good point. I always saw shady as having some kind of bad intent but being hard and subtle to pick up that intent or acting in such a way where subtle tendencies can give off the idea of negative intent.
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Shadowraix replied to Strikr's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
You are asking questions that ultimately lead to subjectivity on what one would like the world to be. Remember that the whole point is to simulate every possibility and so the world we are living in is one out of the many. Of course that is what we would call the absolute truth. The relative truth is what is real to us. Our emotions or lack thereof is a relative truth. Even if we deem only some knowing of the higher reality as egocentric, so what? That thought in of itself is a product of the mind. What I often notice is that we project our views on the entirety of God even though we really only represent a very small portion of God. Keep your mind on the stars and your eyes on your feet. -
The you now is a culmination of all of your experiences. How you live may change but the experiences you have never truly die per se as they forever have morphed who you are. Regretting moving on isn't an uncommon emotion, and you will likely experience that. It takes a significant amount of time to adjust to the lack of an important person in your life. But that doesn't mean your action was wrong. Certainly your happiness isn't dependent on this individual? Your and that persons happiness isn't entirely dictated by this relationship so try not to treat it as some life or death situation. When you make decisions that will inherently cause some sort of pain in you and will cause your mind to freak out a little when something in your life changes, there comes a level of acceptance you need to take in. To accept that the decision you made is what you made and pondering over the past wishing you could change it doesn't do anything. Accept that you made the decision you made and go forward.
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Remember this: There is no one true perfect one for you. There are dozens of potential people to love and grow with. If you let someone go, their lives will move on and they'll find other people to build love with, and so will you. Before you immediately cut it off think about your intentions for the relationship you've established. Is that the intention you wanted out of it? Must growth occur all the time and never stagnate? Make sure to communicate and consider if there is a solution to the dilemma you're experiencing. Of course if a split ends up becoming necessary for your happiness and well being then you sit them down and say it in blunt words "I want to break up" I don't think beating around the bush and sugar coating it will help anything. We often seek advice for these kind of things because we actually don't want to handle such a painful scenario and try to find workarounds to avoiding it. But there really isn't one. I don't consider attachment an entirely bad thing. The key is being able to control that attachment. There is no 'wrong' or 'right' move to make. And even if you came to regret the action you made in the past, its all in the past and no longer exists. The present is what matters. Its not the end of the world or your life. Mistakes are a part of our growth moving forward as humans.
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Shadowraix replied to Strikr's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Definitely not. What we perceive to be darkness and evil, all the bad in the world. It is all intended. It all serves a purpose. It takes a lot to see you and a terrorist as the same being. I don't deny the existence of darkness but completely acknowledge its existence and that its serving its function. Just as you and I am serving our functions. Intellectually if my body gets ripped apart I acknowledge that as all intended, but I am sure primitive instinct would kick in as I do not think I am so far to be beyond that. Infinite possibilities all being simulated. Entirely peaceful ones? Yes. evil and everything in between ones? yeah. Is it possible to be entirely peaceful? Sure. Is it possible that will never be achieved? Certainly. We can't see that far ahead. Those of us that have an innate desire to spread peace and love are all intended as well. -
Shadowraix replied to Strikr's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Tricky thing. In essence of you follow the nondual path/hermetic philosophy you end up with the conclusion that everything we think and do is the product of the all big great infinite mind. Our happiness, suffering, communication, contemplation etc. We are puppets and indeed different aspects of the mind communicating with itself. We are just one out of the infinite possibilities being simulated by the mind. The reason I think that people ultimately share and try to lead others to such ideas is because there is a lot of value in it in the sense of having answers and it can be a process in living a more loving, happy, and fulfilling life. Leo's course isn't advertised as "Learn the secrets of the universe!" but to create and build a life purpose. All this absolute truth does really is recontextualize how you see everything. Everything is still as is. Its almost like a "the cup is half empty" "the cup is half full" idea. You take what you have and know and are shown ways to use it to meet your life purpose. -
Shadowraix replied to Strikr's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Strikr You can't see infinite moves ahead unlike an infinitely intelligent mind. Its really that simple. And no I didn't attribute lots of writing to emotional charge. I attributed previous posts of yours such as "If god created me, he is a piece of shit to curse me with "life experience". He never even give me insight about "love" in fucking 25 years, this god is full of shit, and If I m god, I m full of shit, I would never enter a game that I don't know shit about. I never loved "hardcore mode"." You can't fathom why anything is the way it is now and so you just deny it all together. Unfortunately, every possibility includes all of the ones we decide as shitty. And actually I would consider modernized religions like Islam and Christianity a rebranding of nonduality corrupted. Nonduality isn't new by any means. Everything that Leo is teaching is actually written in hermetic philosophy. Something that was around during ancient Egypt eras. To be fully enlightened would be equivalent of drawing back into the all.