Shadowraix

@Emerald I love your insights and perspectives. Initial attraction is always very interesting to me in how people pick and choose potential partners. I will often be drawn to a girl by if I find her physically attractive or not. But if her personality ends up weak and shallow to me then I will be completely turned off from her. Its not stimulating. Or if they act in ways that shows how they lack awareness of their own actions is a dealbreaker. Its probably because I want a partner I can openly grow with instead of being the only one questioning.

From my personal experience I have always seen dissociatives as this cousin to psychedelics and oh boy when you combine the two you get such an amazing result. Never done Ketamine but I have extensive experience with DXM. LSDXM was my first full blown nondual experience. Its kind of like psychedelics make me hyper aware of my perceived reality but the added dissociation expands the water to explore infinity just a little further than usual.

I can relate to this. I did LSD for the first time at 15. Was great but compared to my experiences now 100ug is childs play. But as I started experimenting at higher doses I found the threshold where things get wonky and intense. And that threshold varies between people so you gotta be careful.

Highly depends on dose imo In higher doses I find MDMA way easier to handle than weed because weed's body high can get intense quick. idk how ketamine fairs but comparing it to dxm in low doses I can see most handling it like alcohol but the higher dissociation can be very scary when you feel like you're dying.

Incorrect. I was completely satisfied in not having a relationship before it happened. The flow free is not about flowing to expect a specific result, its about being happy with whatever result you get. Hence why I was satisfied for most of my 2 years of being single.

I would actually side with the its nothing special advice. This is coming from someone who only has had a handful of relationships and nearly all of them were filled with nonsense. I got rejected by most girls and the ones that did have interest in me left me pretty quickly after their exes wanted them back. I had one relationship last for 6 months where I dealt with a radically Christian mother that hated my guts so that burned in a fire. After that I was single for like 2 years. Within that I learned to just flow with life. If I don't have a girlfriend that is ok. If I do, that is ok too. I stopped seeking after women like a horndog. I just lived and socialized with people in whatever way I wished expecting nothing out of the socialization. Eventually one of those people happened to like me and so I gave it a shot. Happily dating 1yr+ in. Its really liberating when you stop feeling the need to chase after women and just let the relationship game play out in front of you.

What do you want to play?

DUDE! Its so funny that you mentioned it. Because I came up with this concept on my own thinking 2 days ago. Leo has cleared up many biblical stories for me and so I thought about Adam and Eve and it just clicked. Singular God -> 2 humans Then I searched finding an article explaining it. and now here you are saying the same thing.

The concepts are the map not the territory. The concepts help you understand and work with whats there in awesome ways. Mathematics has proven to be a great model to conceptualize. But drop all conceptualization. All contextualizing. What is that? What is there?

@Serotoninluv Yeah you wouldn't mind if I just showed up to the class would ya? I was only in college for a short time but I would of loved to have you as a professor.

Its amazing isn't it? How you are you yet you are always learning about yourself. Today I learned a very subtle thing about myself and its thats I ultimately have a passion to teach. When I got into this personal development stuff I always found myself bouncing what I know off my girlfriend and I would find myself coming up with new ways to explain it. I always find myself trying to figure out how I can use these concepts and models to get them to deeply understand what I understand. It was like a puzzle for me to do this and I found I got great excitement to explain things. And to see that click when they've solved a piece of a puzzle is truly just amazing to me. Because when the puzzle clicks for them it clicks for me having successfully taught it to them! The teacher-student dynamic here gets really amazing. This applies to anything in general. Not just this work.

This channel has been great for game dev for me. Quaternions video was awesome.

It both has to do with you and your feelings. I find wanting to be with your partner important. That the love and stability is there. But I also see here you projecting because he is not aligning himself in the same way you do and so you tend to demonize that as bad. If you are feeling a need to insult him then there is definitely work to do there. Firstly, communicate exactly what you wrote to him. You are filtering everything through your lens. Have you even tried to match and find out his perspective?

Their concept of you is not accurate to all of reality! Stop generalizing! They have no reliable basis to know something like that. Really looks like you are just reacting to emotion blindly with no control or even thinking behind it. Thats just you applying your self pessimism. You are so far caught up in your own pessimism you can't see that you simply are just projecting this perception on yourself. If you keep indulging in your pessimism you will never break out of it. The brain is repetition based.

You loving other people is you loving yourself and vice versa. All the same. I think he was getting at by saying separation

@Nahm I saw Galyna mention you saying something and looked back to find it. Wow. I have to agree and express that this is a great explanation, An insight I never thought of. This specific part struck really hard with me. Just because im not currently "aware" or "conscious" I am doing something doesn't mean I am not doing it. Something not having self awareness from my perspective does not mean its not intelligent. Fantastic!

Precisely. No drug is either side. Caffeine is a stimulant. There are dozens of studies on documenting the effects of caffeine on humans. It won't kill you but the idea is to not engage in it so you won't find yourself depending on it to be alert.

You'll probably find some relief apologizing for it. Otherwise, just feel the guilt. Feel it as it occurs in your body. The idea is to feel your emotion without responding to it. You can take this deeper to help you not have kneejerk reactions to things. Why did you react that way? What did you feel? What about you got threatened from that joke?

Socializing is an activity. They appeal to some and not for others. Different strokes for different folks. Is a lack of socializing hurting you? Why do you wish to change this lack of desire? Its perfectly fine if you lack it. Do you think you will be happier desiring socialization?

Might affect you differently but I found MDMA to be far better as it allows me to connect with my emotions and process all the negative feelings without actually feeling traumatized by it. You have to be much more careful with LSD because if you aren't ready to handle those emotions it will get amplified and could potentially cause your mind to spiral downward quickly.

Yes, I agree with this. I was just saying anything can be an expression of love if you want it to be and there are people who feel marriage to be such an expression.

You don't know if you will or not. Don't act like you know what the future holds for you. If you want an actual stable relationship then you need some form of confidence and security in yourself. Insecurity is an easy gate to many problems down the road. You'd likely end up worrying about them cheating on you or leaving you all the time. And controlling and manipulative behavior won't solve that. Security in yourself will. You want sex and a relationship but you don't seem to be willing to put in the effort in yourself to get out there and get it.

Definitely not the case for everyone based on people I have talked to getting married to show their feelings of great love. One single expression of love doesn't hold a marriage together either. I live in the US

I've found great use from MDMA. It can really help you deeply explore your emotions and how you are feeling. MDMA helped me realize some really fundamental trauma that prevented me from connecting and loving people as deeply as I wanted to. When I figured that out, I was just crying in happiness. My first candyflip (LSD + MDMA) experience also was very beneficial. The colors and feelings and my way of thinking was so mind fuckery. Seeing the paradox and I felt like I experienced a glimpse of being absolute infinity. You probably will want to be around people but I did most of my MDMA doses alone and called a friend if I really wanted to talk. You haven't read up on it enough. If you aren't doing high doses, you stay in cool temps, and wait like 3 months at least ideally between doses its no more dangerous than your classic psychedelics. Its a very unique drug in its capability to let you access emotions compared to psychedelics. There is concern for neurotoxicity, but use the drug sparingly and you won't have a problem at all. Treat it like a vacation.

Attractiveness is RELATIVE Let that sink in. Nothing can factually tell you you are beautiful or ugly. In fact I would say everybody is both! Thats exactly what makes it relative. You're trying to derive self worth in what other people think of your attractiveness level and how many/much boyfriends and sex you have. If you don't ever have a boyfriend that is FINE If you don't ever have sex that is FINE NEITHER are necessary for a happy life. Your own fear over this stuff you are creating. Do you see this? You create your own suffering. I doubt the person who called you the ugliest woman in the world has seen every single woman to exist on this planet. This is enough to 2nd guess on if you should really consider who is telling you that. And if they are telling you that then they likely have some ulterior motive. People will call other people a bitch and ugly even if they find them smoking hot if they have something against them.