EternalForest

@something_else I really don't like how you frame things. "Men are ruining the dating forum for women". The forum is for both genders, and both genders are notoriously bad at understanding the other.

Well look at it logically. They don't want you right now. That's pretty clear, so stop giving a fuck. Focus on other things. Pretend like you're the last man on earth. What would you do with your time? Do that. Truth is, that internal urge you're feeling is going to come and go. It's biological. But that doesn't mean you have no control over it. I'm in the same position as you, and I stopped caring about the dating shit a long time ago. Once you accept you're never going to participate in it, and you're okay with that, things become a lot easier. Now obviously, if an opportunity with a woman comes your way, experiment with it. And if you look at the numbers, there are billions of women in this world. At least one of them will want to have sex with you. If you have problems with all 3 billion of those people, you've got bigger problems! Give it a shot. Just hope for the best, and expect the worst, and you'll be fine. Your frustration at the moment is that you're expecting the best because you think you're a great guy. Sadly, women don't agree lol. But it's not your problem. Just once again, focus on your own shit. The urge is never going to go away, so you basically have 2 options: a) Continue sulking and be miserable. b) Say fuck em, and enjoy your life. I'd choose Option B.

@Nilsi a) Don't assume things about people that you do not know. If you look at my post history I am very critical of Leo and the direction Actualized.org has taken since 2020. I'm also barely active here. But I saw Leo's recent video about new changes in Actualized.org to be a step in the right direction. b) In the past, Leo has always called television a waste of time and used the "jack off and play video games" analogy to describe the foolish path of life. I feel like this new attitude towards media is more healthy. Another step in the right direction.

Cambodia has to be up there: "Theravada Buddhism is the official religion of Cambodia, practised by more than 95 percent of the population with an estimated 4,392 monastery temples throughout the country. Cambodian Buddhism is deeply influenced by Hinduism and native animism."

"The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young" -Oscar Wilde

@soos_mite_ah You've obviously never seriously watched his content. People aren't just defined by their worst qualities. Tate is highly intelligent and has some genuinely good advice for young men to become tougher, braver and more hard-working individuals. You wouldn't go to a chef to get a heart surgery. Don't go to someone like Tate for spirituality and consciousness. Appreciate him for what he is. Take the lessons and integrate them into a more conscious worldview.

Such a deep question. Are there situations in life that are so traumatic, that they make us weaker? Or do they always make you stronger? What do you think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKpY8ksL1UE I love this video on so many levels. Leo is standing outside in the wind, and it's like we're weathering that storm with him in the video. One of the those times he speaks for those who are at ground zero, really talking down to earth. I'm at a low point right now and this instantly moved up to one of my Top 10 Actualized videos. It reminds me to stay hungry, especially at my lowest points.

Might sound a bit nerdy haha, but one of my best memories in life was staying up all night when I was a teenager reading about all the different paradoxes out there. Some of them are honestly mind-blowing. If you haven't explored this list yet, I highly recommend you do so. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paradoxes Which one blows your mind the most? I think the Monty Hall Problem and Grandfather Paradox are pretty fascinating myself.

Hey, be sure to watch this video. It's the epitome of what Actualized.org is about, and perhaps Leo's best video

I think high level, intellectual debates are enlightening. Leo must have been referring to the more tedious, unnecessary, dead-end debates, which I agree are a waste of time.

Overworking is a big one. People don't understand how important work/life balance is. Work to live.

@JonasVE12 We can keep this going if you want but it's clear we have different mindsets on this, because we've come from different experiences. I know you say you've been there too, but if you're not there right now it's harder for you to see how your response may read to someone who has been there. But just a few thoughts on some of what you said... First of all, my comment to you only took about 15-20 minutes of my day. So I don't think it said much about my priorities. I could have watched an episode of Seinfeld with that same time. So I didn't appreciate the fact you use that against me. Second, a nurturing reply is not a bad thing. Sometimes people need that shit. The experiences behind the pain haunt me everyday. Giving a few practical hints or steps wouldn't hurt either, even if it's not a 10 step program or whatever. I don't want to stay stuck. This is what you don't understand. I don't want this. At all. If you want to call working on other things to avoid this problem copying, then yes. I'm coping. But it's better to have something going in your life and struggle with this issue than having nothing going on in your life and still stay lonely. And again, I can't approach women at this point. All I've ever had is negative experiences, to the point where the whole thing just seems pointless and I'm conditioned to expect nothing but negative experiences going forward. Unless I find good reason to act differently, I've accepted the fact I'll probably never meet someone. If you met me, you would immediately understand why. I'm not an incel. I'm voluntarily celibate. I've quit, bro. A long time ago. Am I happy about it? No, not really. But I already know what it is. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying, but I'm definitely not going to try with the same vigor I would have, had I not experienced such suffering with women. I have plenty of friends. I'm not a lonely person. I just don't have a significant other and probably won't for a long time, until I become the type of person that women want. I'm not that person now. I probably won't be that person for the near future! I do appreciate the fact that you did actually give some practical steps in your second reply here. I'll give them a shot if I ever feel the desire or courage. All love.

Think of your highest possible goal for your life. How far away are you from achieving that?

How is arguing and debating a trap?

@Elton Thanks for sharing that. Some other questions she can ask based on those 5: Think back to any moments in your life where people bought you gifts. Did these things increase your love for them? What about giving gifts to others? Is that something you do out of obligation or deeper meaning? How much time do you find yourself wanting to spend with your loved ones? Can gifts, words of affirmation or acts of service truly replace quality time for you? How intimate do you find yourself in long term relationships vs. in person ones? -------------------------------------- There are also some great tests online you can take to find your love language. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

I usually have the best luck talking to people that are "on idle". Doesn't mean they can't be part of another group. Look for someone who's having a drink and relaxing, they're usually easy to chat up. Talk to em about something on the TV.

@JonasVE12 Hey man, I can tell you put a lot of effort into your response so I don't want this to come off the wrong way, but just a bit of constructive criticism...It sounds like you're spending more time trying to sell him some pipe dream or blow smoke up his ass than genuinely trying to help him. Do you understand what it's like to be so deprived of love that the moment someone doesn't respond to your message you delete them out of frustration? Do you understand the pain of seeing someone that you've fallen in love with at first sight walk right in front of you with another guy? Do you understand how it feels to never have a genuine connection with 50% of the population? And I ask these questions not with the insinuations that any woman owes him or I anything. I ask this question because I don't think you understand the deep pain and scars that come from rejection over and over and over again. All this adds up, and it's not as simple as "there are millions of women on the street, so go start that joyful and connected conversation". He can't. He's unable to. He needs to learn how. And nothing in your post gave him any practical steps to get there. Thing is, even though what you're talking about may not seem like an ulterior motive, it is. Using picking up women as some tool for him to gain confidence to build his business. No, that's all backwards. He should build the business first, then worry about picking up women... He needs to sit in a room alone and deeply feel everything he's feeling, and let it out in any way he needs to. He needs to find a way to build the strength you need to make his goals happen, and along the way, look for someone to love. It doesn't have to be one or the other first. One does not have to come before the other. Choosing to build his business now is not avoidance as long as he's handling his emotions in a healthy way. Again, I do not intend for this response to be combative. Your intentions are good, but I think what you wrote feels like it could be some random blog article than genuine advice for this guy. And you might say, well why don't I write my own advice? The truth is, I can't. Because I'm going through the same issues. But I can tell you that when you're sitting in the face of years of rejection, you can't be this glowing ball of liberated love and surprise everyone with your charismatic ways. Not everyone is built that that. That isn't everyone's personality. I am a logical and introverted person, but also creative. I want to use my creativity to bring joy to people. That gives me purpose. I'm not good with people, and I'm not good at directly interacting in positive ways with other people, despite any good intentions I may have. But I know the things that I've created have impact. I can see it. By your logic, are my goals self serving? That I can't use my art to make people happy just because I don't have some buzzwords like "authenticity" "diligence" or "clarity"? So it won't be genuine? Maybe I don't have those things, in spades like some may. But guess what? I don't care. I follow my heart and live my highest truth, even if no one else loves me.

You don't think anyone has ever met a friend or significant other through connecting with an employee? C'mon man.

Drinking a glass of water or listening to some of my favorite high consciousness music tends to help. Any other tips from you guys? Feeling a bit low consciousness this morning and could use a few

@Raptorsin7 It's not bad, but it's not what I need to feel better at the moment.

@Raptorsin7 Hm, gotta be honest, while reading this, the whole concept of "nothing has any meaning" and "I give meaning to everything" and "no miracle means anything more than any other miracle" is giving me nihilistic vibes. Not working for me but I still appreciate it.

Thank you! I'm reading it right now

@Raptorsin7 Okay so you're talking about the text in the main chapters, not the workbook?

@Raptorsin7 What is that? I don't see a "wisdom" portion in the text I found.