EternalForest

@soos_mite_ah You're right, style is necessary with the way that we meet people. That's why I find the text only dating apps so fascinating.

Has anyone noticed how many people complain about lack of substance in their relationships? People are usually attracted to someone's style first (looks, charm, way of talking, etc.). But style is shallow by nature and once they are a year or two into the relationship any lack of substance is going to come to the surface. Now not to say you can't make a connection with someone based on their style, but in my opinion it's substance that truly holds any relationship together. That's why I often notice friendships are the strongest kinds of relationships out there because those are often the most substance based. Any thoughts on this concept? Edit: I wanted to add that, style is not necessarily "shallow", it just obviously runs a lot less deep than substance. But there's style in substance and substance in style in a way. Fashion is an artform. Speaking is also an artform.

1. Set your alarm for 5 hours after you go to sleep 2. Wake up for 20 minutes and read, meditate, or record any dreams you had. 3. Go back to bed and visualize the dream you would like to have. Exact timing for Step 1 is trial and error. If you don't lucid dream, try 4-6 hours next time. Good luck!

You consciously decide who you want to be every day. Which means you can actively change it. If you've decided that's not who you are anymore, act like the person you want to be. This doesn't mean you pretend like the past never happened. Keep it in mind often, as a reminder of why you're choosing a different path. Best of luck.

For a life insurance commercial...this always hit me hard.

It's a Wonderful Life (1946) and The Iron Giant (1999)

It's not about never feeling "negative emotions", it's about learning to control them. This is what stoicism and enlightenment helps us to do.

Not a Spiral Wizard quite yet (many years from reaching Yellow), but people aren't generally just one stage. Someone can have elements of many stages integrated into who they are. You can be Stage Green in some ways and Stage Blue in others. Further, someone at Stage Green cannot enter Yellow without integrating all the previous stages first. Transcending is one thing, but it's including that presents the true challenge.

When I recognized that rules and laws were arbitrary things. But as for leaving Blue religion in specific, I guess it happened when I began studying other religions outside of Christianity. When all you know is one tradition, it's easy to get dogmatic about it. I'd wager the majority of Christians have never set aside time to seriously study any other spiritual tradition. Not to say that doing that would automatically make them more open-minded, but it's certainly a stepping stone.

Wearing sports clothes could cool you down.

You should live a balanced life. Keep doing your spiritual practices, but also make time for play and spending time with your friends and family. You can do both! And who knows, maybe one day they may take an interest or you'll meet new people who do.

@Carl-Richard I don't think that's a spiral dynamics issue, that's just being hypocritical. Why ask for your opinion if they only want their own opinions echoed back at them?

Strangely enough, I've been selective about who I share it with as well, but both people who I gave the entire intro and Leo's videos on SD were highly interested. I even started talking about it in a music chat room one time, and it seemed to get everyone's attention. So I think you may be introducing it to people who aren't ready yet. Creatives and people interested in personal development are always curious about it in my experience.

In Leo's latest video "How To Forgive Anyone Who Hurt You - A Powerful Trauma Release Exercise" he says there are 5 basic reasons why people hurt you: 1. Ignorance 2. Fear/Weakness 3. Unconsciousness 4. Selfishness 5. A need for love _________________________________________________ Two of my best friends for years (or so I thought) cut me out of their life a couple years ago. They stopped answering my calls and texts, and stopped contacting me. They even gave back all the gifts that I gave them. There was no formal end to a relationship or a "Goodbye". If they would have done that I would have respected it, but they instead just ghosted me. To this day, I don't know why, they only gave a vague "I'm getting my life together." In "How To Deal With Difficult & Toxic People", Leo said that doing this type of thing is a valid method of cutting someone out of your life, to simply just stop all contact. But what they did was very hurtful. I respect that their life may be better off without me, but I'm just confused because none of those 5 reasons explain what they did. They weren't ignorant or fearful about what they were doing, it was deliberate. And they could at least keep in touch a few times a year to see how I'm doing, I certainly would like to know how they're doing... So where does ghosting fit into all this? Is ghosting right or wrong?

So I've been experiencing this phenomenon for years now, and I just wanted to get your thoughts on it, and if you think there's some weight to what's going on. When I fall asleep on the ground, in a chair or some other semi-uncomfortable area and I wake up in the middle of the night, I wake up in a sort of half-awake, half-asleep state, as I'm sure many of you have before. But the mindset I experience in this state is remarkable. It's as if the invisible wall of blurriness that I experience throughout my entire day is gone, and I think more clearly than ever. I'm more self-honest (which can lead to me being a lot more self-critical), but I also find myself to be more compassionate as well. Every unconscious thing I've been doing floods to the surface and I feel as if I'm getting advice from myself as a 60 or 70 year old, once again telling me like it is with no filter. That's the thing about this state of mindset, there's no filter to it. It's gentle, yet uncompromising, conscious yet subtle. All the bullshit and rationalizing that's normally present in my thought processes just falls away and all I'm left with is direct insight. It's as if my brain doesn't have the energy to constantly defend itself, so I see everything as it is. And this can be a shocking way to view things, but it also unlocks more potential for conscious discovery. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Intriguing stuff! How would a psychedelic work in a lucid dream? Wouldn't that only work if you had a previous psychedelic experience? Lucid dreams are only working from the brain so you'd only be able to access the brain's experiences with psychedelics and recreate them. Wouldn't something like that only be possible in out-of-body experiences/astral projection? Since in those experiences you're actually travelling into other dimensions and accessing a greater connected consciousness than what's in your brain.

The prison system we have at the moment seems to be more interested in punishment than rehabilitation. We put criminals with minor offenses in the same yard as murderers. Corrupt prison guards make the experience worse for everyone. Personally, I feel ashamed with the system we have. It's a dead end for these individuals, rather than a new start. What's the most conscious solution? Do you believe all criminals can be rehabilitated or is some amount of punishment necessary?

@Jacobsrw I agree, and I think this is also why younger people tend to be more naturally creative. When you're young there's no filter to what you say, what you do, or what you create. No one's shown you the walls of the box yet. As far as you know, there is no box. Anything is possible! That doesn't mean that children don't put thought into what they do, but rather, they just let their creativity flow freely. As the drummer George Marsh said "It's not really me that's coming, the music's coming through me." I believe this same principle applies to spirituality as well.

@DecemberFlower Besides the forum, you're signed up for the main actualized.org site right? Once you sign up for the newsletter, you can listen to Leo's Top 20 Dreamkillers in the Actualized.org Store, it's all about dissecting your negative beliefs. That could really help you out.

@DecemberFlower Think of it this way, you believing that negative experiences = negative beliefs, is also a belief! Just because you have a negative belief about yourself over an experience, doesn't mean that negative belief has substance to it. But if you're honest to yourself and believe it does, do your best to learn from those bad experiences and create a new reality for yourself. For example, if experiences tell you that you have difficulty with public speaking, first set an intention "From this day foreward I'm going to do my best to improve as a speaker." Then do all the things you need to do to improve. Join Toastmasters, read a book about speaking, watch great speakers and take notes, etc. Take action! So it all starts with dissecting your beliefs to the root, and if the beliefs do have some substance (they don't always), taking action to improve yourself.

Change them by first examining them. As you question and examine them, the core reasons you believe them will come to the surface.

Thanks again for everyone's replies and advice.

@Serotoninluv @Byun Sean I took a week to think things over and I think I see what was holding me back. True love is giving without expecting anything in return. Giving for the sake of giving. I'm to the point where their apology is no longer necessary. Thanks for your help,

The best way to read a book is the best way that works for you. Assuming we're talking about non-fiction, you're going to get the same information no matter which method you use. The question, which way is the best way for you to receive and learn that information? Figure out what type of learner you are. Auditory? Use an audiobook. Kinesthetic? Use a physical book. Visual? A digital copy would serve you fine. Take an online test, google "Learning style test" and go from there!

Just play it on the computer you have now. Spend the rest of the money on your life purpose. If the game is great the quality won't matter. For example, I play Mirror's Edge on the lowest settings (I have a normal PC) and it still looks and runs great and its a blast to play because its just a well designed game. Cyberpunk will be the same. Playing games isn't foolish, but spending your entire life savings on a game is...