Identity

@StarStruck Yeah, I’ve seen quite some video’s and read part of Robert Glover’s book on it. Perhaps something to dig in deeper, I’ll sit with it for a bit ??

@StarStruck Hmm, don’t like to hear that, but sounds like there is at least partial truth to it. ”you are tucking your dick between your legs” Pretty accurate. Sexuality in general is a topic I generally have more healing to do. There are some deep beliefs and patterns I adopted of hiding my sexuality and it’s poorly integrated in my overal personality. It’s more this shadowy sub-self that sometimes comes out to play. It’s like this untamed beast within me, that is usually locked in a cage. I’m not sure yet how to integrate it in a healthy way. I would like to explore and integrate that more in a safe space where there is room to be vulnerable. Have had plenty of interactions where I just ‘pushed through’ or played the part of standing in my sexual power, without actually standing in it. That’s exhausting and doesn’t bring me any further. It’s a bit of a bit of a catch 22. No sexual mastery —> no sex —> no practice —> no sexual mastery. Any suggestions?

Insights from this video; - feels like my heart is ‘open enough’. Always more work to be done.. but is not the main problem. - asking my higher self, immediately the words ‘CREATE SPACE’ came. This seems to be right from the rational mind as well.. to be honest there is next to no space in my life right now for a partner to enter. Have been working 6 days a week with the 7th day for deep rest. The one or two social events a week I have been going to are seeds being planted in a jungle.

@somegirl Thank you ?? @Leo Gura Yes, in a wierd way, consciousness actually makes less free. In the sense that some things just no longer become possible once you’ve seen through the dysfuction of it. Not as a belief, but as something you know. @SeaMonster Indeed! That’s advise my friend gave me as well, if you try to catch a certain type of fish, go to the right pond with the right bait. Regular daygame and nightgame has proven to not be a very effective pond to fish in. Only the occasional lost fish in between the mud. I’m also part of this hippy scene group chat, but even though its deeply stage green, it’s a bit too far outside of society for me. I want a girl that’s one foot in one foot out. Will be scouting more potential ponds ??‍♂️ Already bought a ticket for the next ecstatic dance with the same group. Beautiful energy there. Literally burst out laughing when I walked into the toom because it felt so good there.

@Bob Seeker hmm, at least have to be willing to lose everything.. Detached from any outcome. Am definitely not detached from any outcome at the moment ?

@somegirl I’m not sure if there is anything holding me back at the moment. There actually have not been many opportunities with potential partners that felt like a compatible match. The one connection at the ecstatic dance I was talking about, although deep and mesmerizing, was only a brief interaction. I don’t even know her name. After the interaction I haven’t seen her, not even on that night. Usually I’ve got my eye on the ball in a scenario like that.. but my intention for the night was ‘surrender into love’. After the dance I felt at peace and decided not to go looking for her but see what emerges. Kind of regret that now to be honest.

@somegirl I am open to something serious/relationship

Really enjoyed the podcast

Life will present you with the people and circumstances to reveal to you where you are not free - Peter Crone

Just saw this post on Instagram and figured it was a good discussion starter. my personal take; It is one of many perspectives. This way of looking at some of the new-age people and content that exist does have some validity to it. Although the people he is pointing to usually might have had some genuine insight or increased their awareness, that can easily used in unhealthy, unproductive ways and be co-opted by ego to be used as excuse and separation. That being said, this post and perspective is partial and feels to me as being packed with anger and judgement. Watching new-age content and hanging around with people who use the word awakening one too many times is quite enjoyable to me. I guess this new-age wave is one of the manifestations of stage green. Making sure to take care of survival and grounding in the ‘real-world’ first, seems like a good idea to me though. What are your thoughts on this post?

> Context for this post; Having received the results from my heavy metal urine test, I am looking into a wise continuation. In no way am I putting the responsibility on anyone to give me any definite answers. Any answers here will serve as additional input next to further research I will conduct myself. I am taking full responsibility for any potential action that I will take. On the day of the heavy metals video release, I decided to order a urine test kit. The results of this current test are without taking any supplements. A bottle of DMSA is on its way. The plan is to do another test with the DMSA as described in the video. The results of the first test are shown below. Because the results are in Dutch, there will be some highlighted notes and remarks on the bottom. These are the main things to note: Creatinine: Seems to be elevated. Arsenic: 8,8 mg/g creatine seems to be 'within range', but notable if we consider having any is undesirable. Cadmium: 0,16 mg/g creatine or 0,40 mg/L is notable. Kobalt: 0,39 mg/g creatine or 0,98 mg/L looks like being quite on the edge, especially in the mg/L measurement. Nikkel: With 3,84 mg/g creatine or 9,59 mg/L, the amount of Nikkel in my body looks quite serious. Important to note is that I am not experiencing any super clear symptoms. My skin is fine, I have no health issues that could be related to heavy metals. The only thing that I would consider a possible effect is my energy levels. I do feel like these are not always up to 100%, but that could also be caused by many other factors. My intention with sharing these results is to get some feedback from people that have tested themselves and/or have experimented with detoxing heavy metals. Based on this test, the next test with the DMSA and further research, I will decide whether trying chelation will be a worthwhile effort. Thank you for your time.

It sounds to me like you are in the early stages of making this into a successful method. That is, assuming that the method you are talking about actually works (which I have no clue about). Just from the way you are talking about it, sounds like you are experimenting with different target groups, approaches to the method, approaches to the teaching, etc. That is great. However, consider that having a successful technique/method that worked for you, is maybe 10% of the work of making it into a successful method that you can use as a business to help others. So the question then becomes, are you willing to keep walking this path without the certainty that it will pan out into something successful? Welcome to entrepreneurship ?

Yes agreed, he might have a point, but it seems to be a judgement ‘from below not from above’ so to speak.

First of all, it can be useful to acknowledge the great position you have put yourself in. Building up a successful business that is generating a lot of income is not a small feat. It sounds to me that you are coming to the end of this chapter though. As described in Leo's vid about life unfolding in chapters, that comes with a time of uncertainty. It can be useful to acknowledge that the fears and doubts that come with this stage are natural. What can you do to move through this stage in a healthy way and get out the other end with more clarity and alignment?

Alright, so, I'm chilling, eating my dinner. On a microdose of LSD and smoked a tiny bit of weed, vibing, but very low dosage. During the dinner, the following video is recommended to it and I watch it: Around 15:00, the experienced woman guides the Sky Life girl to start channelling this alien energy for the first time. The intensity of the exchange made me cry. Then, there was a guiding to do this myself. Opening my mouth upwards, this energy came through me, and I was speaking some sort of 'words' much like in the video is shown. The experience also came, more importantly, with a 'feeling' and 'images' although these descriptions don't fully justify the breath of the experience. When the experience started, the internet (which always works) lagged through which automatically paused the video. The experience only lasted for around 15-30 seconds. Exactly when I closed my mouth, the internet reconnected and the video continued. This happened literally just now, so wanted to capture the report as it is still fresh.

Getting back into the whole dating game after coming out of a long-term relationship at the moment. First of all, Leo, perfect fucking timing with your video's. Very helpful. Just wanted to reflect on the interesting difference in power dynamics I'm experiencing with two girls at the moment. One girl is definitely a nice girl, but honestly, I was somewhat doubting going on a date with her in the first place. When we did go out, I felt very naturally entitled to escalate physically. In a way, my subconscious mindset was 'well, if this doesn't lead anywhere on the first date, I doubt I will go on a second date'. Things progressed quickly and effortlessly; drink in a bar, back to my place, kissing, sex. Afterwards, she was the one to further talk about setting up the next date. Texting me again today asking if we should see each other this weekend. In my mind, it's kind of like 'oke, nice'. Then today I was on a date with this ridiculously beautiful eastern European girl. Like, my body and mind is still in awe of just how beautiful this girl is. I've been the one pushing things forwards from the beginning. On the first date, a week ago, we went for a walk and had a glass of wine at my place. But I literally only gathered my balls to kiss her at the very end. I was quick to follow up with some texts to set up the second date. Today, a lot of effort was put in from my side; cooking dinner for us and making a dessert. Talking the whole evening, three hours straight. I tried to kiss her one time, which she rejected. Then, in the last half an hour we got to dancing a bit and we kissed a bit. When I started grabbing her booty, she gave me a 'na-ah'. Bit more kissing before she went. As she left, I said 'we can set something up when I get back in a week'. She responded with a 'we will see'. And still after all these hurdles, my whole being is on cloud 9 just thinking about how tasty her lips are. Isn't it crazy how the perception of our value relative to the other person plays such a huge role in how we behave towards them in these dating scenarios? With the second girl, it's a great time and all that, but I could see how if we were to get in a relationship, that would be a terrible idea for me. I would be this puppy begging for her scraps. I can see in her eyes how she just knows she has the power to do what she wants. Like, if she would not have respected me at all, she would not have come out on a second date. But I doubt there will be a third date. If there will be, and if the relationship would be to continue, it would consist of me doing everything I can to bring as much value to her as I can, whilst she would be there just twisting her thumbs, doing as she pleases. Whilst with the first girl, she is excited talking about how she will put on high heels to try some BDSM stuff. Me being the one who is like 'meh, we will see'. Just crazy to see how the difference in perceived value makes such a difference in our behaviour and the power dynamic within the relationship. Just wanted to share those thoughts and brag about the fact that I went out with this hot girl.

Actualizers looking for stage coral ?

@Emotionalmosquito pretty sure. But I’d have to become the equivalent of that to have her around. Working on it.

I want a girl that is seriously tasty. A girl who’s whole body and energy is radiating juicy femininity. I see some thick glossy lips. A booty that lends itself to be grabbed and slapped appropriately, nice and curvy. The look in her eyes is strong, confident, embodied, loving, giving. She has a lot to offer and is here to give, but she isn’t here to play around with bullshit. Her gaze looks right into my soul, because is she fully connected to hers. She allows herself to melt into surrender and love as I hold her. Her body is radiating pleasure. She is like a juicy peach that wants to be bitten into. Her heart is so open it scares me. She is so vulnerable and fearless. Love pours out through her arms as we hold eachother. I can feel it break down my own barriers as I match her love. It brings tears into my eyes to hold her. She is free, we are free. There are no expectation games, a need for the other to act in a certain way. Being together naturally emerges effortlessly and timelessly.

Maybe there is some validity to what you are saying. But what do you want to focus on, what is outside of your control or inside it? All the things you mention; the fact that it is winter, sex-drive, runny nose, are all in the circle of concern. What is inside your circle of control? What can you do inside these circumstances for your game to flourish?

@Khr @hyruga My mother is Russian and my ex-girlfriend was Romanian, so I know a thing or two about the culture @Leo Gura Yup, raised my self-esteem and perceived value a lot over the past five years. Now the content of the upper and lower limit changed whilst the same underlying structure still applies. Doubt this girl will stay around for long. It's weird, because in a practical way I do feel like she is out of my league and that she is the prize. At the same time, I do have this feeling as well that she would be lucky to be with me and I wouldn't actually want to be in a relationship with her. Guess that's also the difference in self agendas. She would be the prize to have sex with. I would be the prize to be in a relationship with.

I've been out quite a few times alone. It was very challenging for me honestly. This idea of me being a lonely creep hitting on girls was a mindset that kept coming up. What worked best for me, is to just own it. Trying to make excuses or lies was just a facade that did not make the underlying feeling go away. A few times, I just walked up to random people and told them as one of the first things that I was alone. The responses were actually very kind in general. Once I knew a few people at the party/club, I actually did not feel alone anymore. There was a base that I could go back to. From that point onwards, the response to a question like "with who are you here" did not matter much anymore, because in the end, it's more about the underlying state and confidence with which the answer is given, not the answer itself. Once in state, the results can start to come in hehe.

Thought this little excerpt from this amazing stream was a funny characterisation of stage Green. From 1:10:36 till 1:11:00 "All Ideas are welcome, all people are welcome. That's how we do around here. If you don't think that way, you can get the fuck out. Because you are not welcome. You don't agree, you are not welcome. Everything, all cultures, all people are welcome. And if you disagree with that, you are not welcome."

Around half a year ago I had an experience with a woman. We were just sitting, talking, and looked into our eyes for some time. I experienced something wierd where her face changed shape and the rest outside her face became blurry. It lasted for maybe half a minute. She told me that during that time window, she looked into my past life and told me I had been a priest in a past life. I was like oke, interesting experience. Lets just park it there and not read too much into it. Maybe it was a past life thing, maybe it wasnt, who knows. That brings us to tonight. Beside an overall quite intense evening where I opened up a lot about awakening experiences and sadness on my heart and more, something I had not done before, a second similar experience happened. My friend and I had been having a deep conversation for a while, when we made eye contact for 10 seconds or so. His face started to change shape, and similar things started to happen as the first experience. I was like “Don’t mean to freak you out here, but there is this vibe in the air, similar to a past life experience I had a while back, do you want to explore it?” He said yes. He also became present and looked into my eyes. Both of us got chills up our spines and both of us saw the other’s face change shape. Accompanied were blurring of the space around the face and the face becoming dark. Neither of us were able to perceive anything more than the wierd sensations and shifting of form. any thoughts? Similar experiences?

As I am digging into my fears and insecurities around sexuality and relationship, this interesting insight came to me that I want to share. This excerpt from the book Letting Go by David R. Hawkings gave the insight: "The real cause of "stress" is actually internal; it is not external, as people would like to believe. The readiness to react with fear, for instance, depends on how much fear is already present within to be triggered by a stimulus. The more fear we have on the inside, the more our perception of the world will be changed to fearful, guarded expectancy. To the fearful person, this world is a terrifying place. To the angry person, this world is a chaos of frustration and vexation. To the guilty person, it is a world of temptation and sin, which they see everywhere. What we are holding inside colours our world." When I go out into the world with my girlfriend, I am fearful and anxious. Especially when she is radiating her feminine beauty in a party situation. What I see, is other men as potential preditors that can capture my girlfriend. I am in fear and feel the need to be defensive and control. In reality, it is not the external world that is causing this. It is really my own guilt that I am projecting. During my pick-up fase, I was an unconscious preditor. I did not care about the girls and their potential boyfriends. In one instance, I actually kissed a girl in front of her boyfriend. Now I am carrying that guilt and am projecting it onto the world. Funny how karma works. Now I am ready to let go and forgive myself. Anyone that can relate?