ranzo1

Guys,from my personal expirience i can said that is also strugle for me. But,i was never feel better than i do something with purposse, highly motivated,eating healthy,training,be best at colledge, but... everything comes in waves,cant last for many years ,and that comes eblightenment! Being in the moment. Feel greath now but also be ambitious for the future!

Hello! I think this topic is importan for every young guy. I was watching videos of Leo , and that really inspires me,but other guys like elliot hulse, scooby... And i started to grow, fitness improve, mentally improve, started reading a books, start to positive think,started college,study hard and,improve talking to girls but at that area i still have work to do....and i just lose motivation,aloso because of Leos videos about enlightenment. He said that everything isnt important,this is the truth. You dont exist and just be happy. And now im really dont care. Fucked up grades, dont socialize, dont have motivation. And wonder myself, why everyone oppsesing with enlightenment now, meditation is really good,but why asking yourself who im i, who doing this stuff,kill ego... Is it ok to be better version of yourself, to work hard to have succes, enlightenment isnt the only way, some really happy people arent enlightened. Im not against that(i also dont know what it is exactly),and also need years to achive that,dont have sense to me, i jast dont want to do that, i have much stuff to do, and i was really happy. I must find life purpose, try different things, have amazing relationships, be successful ,when you are young, you have drive to live passionatlly. If everything is ilussion, why we want mission bigger then our life, why just people dont sit and enjoy?- because , we all need something to pursuit,to have meaning to our life. I was also motivated about doing things that im afraid,and work on my limiting bilifes. I think that every person have life stages,that when you are at this age you want to fight,you want challenges,and when you get older you just turn more to spiritual work to gain visdom. Now what is right, are our instincts tell us what is important or? Shoud i pursuit enlightenment(but im just don't excited obout that and im kinda depressed ,and i dont have strong identity and because of that, i dont have motivation to do stuff that i like), or turn to other stuff and just dont distract about that. It is sad that people that dont know about personal development are way more happier than i... Im disipointed about actualized, leo talks about lot of stuff and i pursuit that and now that isn't worthy at all...im just confused,i need to be specific,to know what i want and what is good for me, and from that point i also can help others. Also is confusing that some stuff like sex, socializing ,like Leo said,are dont have much value,or i missunderstand that. How can i learn about sexuallity which is really important,if i dont try and do lot of different things about that.Is it nice to have life that you are proud of, to inspire and help others, then just sit and dont give a shit of anything.Meditation is really important but, that is just a one part of a big picture. If you have some perspectives ,books, or something else,about what one 21 guy should do to be actualized share it, it is sad to be deppressed about self development,it is designt to help. Sorry for english :))

Man,what you said is really right! That is really greath book,and you just link that stuff with this ,and make sense. I think,that,you cant be in enlightenment, if you dont go through this stuff( life purpose,sexuallity,ambition),and you cant be free. If i just pretend that for me isnt anything important,and just can sit and meditate , that will be running away from my limiting belifes, and problems. Grow courage is really good way to be free. Every age have something to offer. Why Leo dont talk about enlightenment when he was younger? When you reach fredom,you can pursuit enlightenment. Every that i talk is from personal expirience. Feeling is amazing that i do things that im afraid to do,and things that are important to me,to free myself from anxity , and fear. You just cant tell to me that that is a lie, maybe it is, but my body knows ,what is good,i just feel that. If i have greath carrer,financial independent , expirienced with women, then, i m ready. I just screw up my grades , and dont have motivation to do stuff, but, i know that dont will do any good for me. Life isnt that black-white,that,when you are enlightenment,everything will solve. Pain is really good thing,that we can use to grow ourself.

Oh man, i just know how are you feeling. Im in similar place now. I was like on steroids, when i started collegde. Read books, listen Elliot Hulse,Actualized.org... Improve in ejucation, i was fearles... And i lost that feeling. I just want to tell you,that, you are not alone in this! You have support. This is my advice: 1) This is just one step of growing ,you can take it all it one bite. You cant learn guitar for one short period of time, and it will hurt( pain in fingers is just strong,cant press string ),but beside of that,keep going. And belive. You will learn to play if you have patience . Every big change ,cant happend in one day,or short period. It was to much for you,to much bright, in your darkness. 2) Be true to yourself!! This is really hard for me also. I just fell like i dont know what i want,but deep inside is the answer. Ask yourself,what is the problem. You will know what it is,when you fell resistance. Do things that you are afraid to do. If you are afraid to talk to girls,afraid of socializing,afraid of something that is really important to you,do it! Maybe it is scary, but , you will feel deep satisfaction ,when you do that,,beside of that fear,belive me, i talking from my own expirience,and it will not be that scary. Start small. That will bring spark to your life,and you will feel alive again. 3)Love yourself,help others Man,you just talking that you were miserable in past. Some people,don't have food to eat,they are really poor, some people are sick, and will die soon, some people don't have family, don't have water to drink. I can understand you,but,you see, you are really ok. You can change things,but most important,change thoughts about life. For every crisis you have, thanks to God. Opportunity to grow stronger. Help somebody else. Do some simple activities, for your friends, or feed hungry kid,or give money someone that need it. 4) Healthy activities Train!!! Your body is really important,one of the most important things that you have. -Meditation - really helpful,to clear mind. You can try afirmation,visualisation... This isnt some motivational speak. This look like that. This is from my personal expirience. And,at the end,dont take yourself too serious,talk to yourself i am miserable,im this and that... you are ok. And you have support. Because of your depression you discovered this site,keep that in mind! We find solutions ,if we want.

I just watched echart tollie, and, there in something in it. That is nice. I can combine that, and when im not satisfied with something,that that is just a thought. But nice feeling,when meditating,or, just dont think. And,be more in present.

Do you know it from personal experience or you just hear that from leo or you read it. That is really important. Maybe that is the case , and what is strange to me, every human are born with ambition,to create something. We have that gift to involve,animals are the same all time. We only have that gift to have sense of ourselfs. We have desiers and that is our instincts to survive. Thinking about that is hard to me, i have lot of stuff to do. To learn,to visit new places, to help others,to have passion and to be greatful what i have. maybe im wrong, but, now i will try to think with my head and learn from my expirience . Meditate ,and dont think about that. Thanks on answer

Thanks for answering. Do you happy with it,or are you enlightened? I will try that, just meditating and doing my thing. sometimes i just felt some wierd happynes when i was meditating,but not often,and maybe that is unconditional love ,but i think that to kill ego isnt imposible. If that is case,then, i just dont care, if somebody dies in my family i dont care, if im in danger i dont care... But i cant talk about something that i dont know what it is.

That is the problem, being is ok, but being with life purpose is greath, i like that there is something that is really important to me. To live for something, to do something, and createing a healthy ego, not killing it, and dont oppsesing with that stuff. Im what i am,and i want to accept me , im already fine but also try to be better and enjoy journey. Why dont chase your dreams,even if they are ilusions, this forum exist because leo was chasing his dream and now we have benefits to it.

Thanks man, simple but it is true, you are right, i just forgot that, maybe is better question "what I really want" ?

Or i have wrong opinion and enlightenment is the most important thing in my life,i just dont know, but i have lot of things that i have to be better or master it.

Thanks you man! Really simple advice and effective.If i have no purpose that isn't serve to anybody.

There is a difference beetwen old Leo and new Leo. Younger Leo was talking about life purpose, hard achieving goals,be best version of yourself, learn about things, relathionship ,also talking about to socialize more, to going out to bars and clubs... Now he is talking that you don't exist,ego death, just killing my passion, my deepest desires,... He built this forum ,actualized.org,from hard working, never built all of this if he was pursuing enlightenment. In enlightenment,you dont have desires,dont have needs, just dont think and do nothing,it isn't important your work ,money, succes... For me,this is dangerous for someone who is 21 years old... Maybe that stuff is good but i don't chase that ,i have much stuff to do, create carrier is hard in my country,im not from usa,find right girlfriend , push myself to the limits,create life purpose , try everything from life, and maybe someday i will try that. Meditation is really good but that is just a tool to be better in life... I followed Leo's advices and now he saying that it isnt important ... I m depressed because of that and cant ignore that...my friends don't have idea about enlightenment and they are way more happier than me. The point of that is, that there is a paradox between his videos, he saying that some stuff are good but in other he said that they is not. So confusing.

I just can't ignore ego death,i regret because i watched videos on this topic, and just not worked for me, i'm not pushing myself to do stuff anymore ,and im not happy because of that,just don't care of anything and don't have pashion and drive to do stuff...if everything is illusion and we are here to just live and we are actually don't exist? For me,we are all have desires and that is normal,but in this stuff desires are illusions ,but we are naturally like that.Anyway, watch this and share your opinion.

Thanks for answer. But,i think that is okey to identify with something that you want to be, for example artist,and creating your own dream story(whatever it is lie or not) ,and used that to be best self and achive golas. If i dont havestrong sense about who im i dont know where to go,im not centered,dont have strong direction in life. Is it to be best version of yourself but apricate where you are? For young guy like me that is really important...but if im nothing how to now what i want from life,im bored with that kind of life...maybe that is true,but true is also that we are here just to have kids and die like other animals, but we give to ourself stories about self actualization to be inspired ...identification with some picture in your head that is good for you,and try to be that person is working for me really,and knowing that i have bigger purpose than me to try to achive.

When i was started education on college,i also started to watch self Actualization,and i was really motivated to do stuff. My fitness improves,grades , level of happiness are pretty good,and i was pleased.Also i was excited about life purpose ,and i was planing to do lot of work about that part,but also to enjoy life, learn about sexuality and approach lot of girls(maybe find one girlfriend that i can fall in love with),travel ,socialize more(party, going out, or some other activities) and dont have any regrets ,because im young now,now or never...But.... Leo started videos about enlightenment,and talking about no-self,and that sex,party,etc..-isnt good ,and havent value(but that is for my age 21, really important, but that isnt my main focus)... Why also have life purpose ,because i dont exist, how can i know what it is because i dont know who am I( that empty space)... and,Buddha sad that you dont need any wishes ,or something that you want,just enjoy...... Now , im demotivated ,deppressed, cant do anything, dont have girlfriend, everything is pointles, i have no ego and when i die,no one will die(how can i contemplate death,to motivate my self)...for example ,I was training soccer,and that was really important to me, i loved soccer so much... but that is extreme hard,if you want to be good at it, sometimes you just want to give up but i always talked to myself that Im the best,and my ego wanted to be best ,that was my will power ,not things like im nothingness ,never mind, just enjoy ,... Please help,maybe im wrong, but im in tuff situation,i dont want to waste my time,that thought that im nothing really demotivates me,and i think that you cant kill ego,it is nice to be less egoist,but without ego i dont have real motivation. Sorry for my english,not good at it .

Right said.

Exactly, we are in years that we need to fight, to improve ourselves ,to be financial independent,to approach lot of girls,learn about sexuallity ,... we are just now to get most of life,to experience everything we can do, and than, when we get older, we can do enlingtenment, ... Leo was do lot of work,and, he doesnt know what to do next and decided to do that thing(Killing the ego),he is maybe just fed up,and now he is interested in other stuff,but he was also doing that "chimp" stuff... I don't wan't to regret,some young people not should give up on doing stuff,have parties, have sex, or another activities ,and most important have life purpose...This is solution maybe, we all have one life! Elliot Hulse ,is maybe more appropriate for our age,some good informations, and try to watch more of him,... I must learn grammer in english .

Thanks for answer,but how can i go for something if i dont have any desire for that?

Odakle si?

(My english skills is soo bad ,sorry for that,i hope that you guys can understand this) . I am 20 years old male, and i will be soon 21(for one month) and i decided to change my life,one big problem that im struggle with,is love.My childhood was so depressing because of my looks,i had have lop-eard,and my school mate were teasing me,that was really tuff, whenever i go,kids were laught at me,and my family and i decided to do surgery,and i was thinking that i will be able to have normal life,but,problem was barly fixed,my ears in right angle,but they are really big now,and i compelled to have longer haircut. Some kind of relif,but always want to have short haircut and be like other boys,and i was sad,because i want to be more musculine ,not like some girl. And that was cosing dificulties in my self estem.In that age ,maybe 7 years old, i met my first sweet hart,and oder boys were teasing me also for that,and from early years i was disipointed in Women. That is first part of story. ---------- After that, i started high school . I was okey,ordinary kid, fairly good looking,but i have had that issue of deppresion,and i was hopeing that i will have better time . I was alone, only kid in class that are from village,other teenagers were from town.My other friends went in other schools,and i was sad because of that. Again, negative coments about me, and about girls, and have school mates that are haters and depressed maybe, and lots of negativity was in my life. Later i was make friends,and become more confident,but problem is in dateing. Wasnt able to find right girl, dont do much aproach, i wanted some special girl to fill my pain,and i m just give up from that. Have had little expirience in women in highscool and lots of regerts, because teen days and love stories from that time was maybe most memorable,and wasnt experienced love,and hate people and girls,i was have one girl that i was interested in my class but i dont belive that it make it hapend. In thirth grade i started to be good looking,playing soccer,have my style of clothing,lot of shalow friends, fairly popular, and different fairly hot girls noticed me,but i didnt noticed that and i just staret to belive that i dont feel anything,always judgeing other people and girls ,no one was good enough for me,also didnt feel that i need that,but also confused how sexuality works,and i was thinking that i was akward in some way.----------------------------------- And than i started college,start eating healty,training at gym,extremly motivated, good looking guy,and at that time i was have expirienced in girls,but never relathionship, and i fall in love with one girl,that is also known from past.She is so charismatic,smart,good looking,...and she also likes me....i didnt understand my friends when talking about lovel, i just didnt feel anything,but i finaly got it....and again...problems....i was involved with her sister that i dont like but not have had sex with her,and she chased me , before... And i didnt know how to say that girl that i like her,and about that problem... And time goes on,i mess it up,she really didn't care about that,and also when i fall in love i resisting it...when i see her i also feel that feeleng,but to other girls im cold like ice. ---------- I have everything,looks,money,im talented in art, but i dont feel motivation. Love is missing maybe,i just didnt noticed that times goes on,and that are other guys are more expirienced than me,but there are not better than me generaly. Im maybe stuck in my hystory,... I feel also that now i cant find something to push me out of that , girls just dont look good to me, how i sad, truly difficult to finde someone to attract me(i can find girlfriend,but emotions are problem) ... I accepted that,im alone, and that is scary for me,because i dont feel passion,and that thing hit my other stuff in my life. My biggest fear is that feeling of emptiness. I just see her yesterday(girl that im fall in love) ,and,feeling is really good,but i also feel pain,deep pain...which is good in some way, because i can feel something. I just want from you guys to offer me some perspectives on: 1. How to let go that regrets from teen years,also i behave like child,i want to corret that ,but i cant, resisting to be happy, i cant belive what was going on, ..and to starts everything again,but i always see me like that alone child and thinking that i just waste my life? 2.How to handle with guilt and negative selftalk , when i have opportunities with hot girls or something i fell that feeling of guilt,to dont care about feelings of women,also to prove to myself that sex isnt bad, and be more sexual? 3.Maybe i should build empathy with people... I dont talking about my crush to anybody,maybe i should do that also? 4. And how to improve my view about women, to accept they like really are and not to be so choosy,to not judge and to boost my drive that i can have fun? 5.last one,enlightement -if there is such a thing should i boder anyways,that thing decreases my motivation,because, just be in the moment,you are nothing,but if you want to have succes with something you should know who you are and have your own values... Confusing if you want take comment about one of this five questions,or do that for everything,or take comment for this topic that you think that is important... Thanks guys!

Thanks man!

Leo is it hard to have no ego,and be successful like you,you are egoist, because, you have big goals and it is egotistic in some kinda a way, if you have no ego,why bother anyway,just enjoy life like it is...,this is frustrating for me, i feel so alive when i have some purpose,amazing, but after some time it burns away and go back to normal me,have you guys any advice,or comments about this one,and i hope that i was clear? Also ,this video is interesting:

@visual Thanks for answer, maybe the key is balance,do meditation and be thankful for life and nature, and use that like healing for your battle in life,to achive your passion and dreams, but you said that "You generally don't do goals when you are enlightened",how can i have that extra motivation to push my limits harder,in some point, sometimes you don't like what you are doing,but you love it,and you have that "dirty" job to do,and i think that you need goals for that purpose, in nature of a human is to compete ,to be tested,even enlightment is some kind of goal,but i know just a little about it...even Leo talks about how important are goals, and to write it down,always have some to push yourself,but if you dont have any,you are like fly without head,dont know in which direction to go...

i had also that kinda issue,and, there is a fear of disappointment,because if you feel so happy that even lasts to long, i don't know...is it something wrong if i'm happy, or is it to expensive to be ...and when i'm ,i don't appreciate that... always sadness hideing in deep myself, if you have some kinda purpose,you will be pretty happy but even that doesn't lasts to long... be yourself ,do things you like to do,has own style,be unique... but it is also confusing that Leo sad in some video that there isnt yourself and that is also confusing... anyways,share your gifts with people and you will be happy i gues... not straight at the point but maybe can help