Average Investor

I managed to get two work sessions in today. I still managed to even game for an hour today with that. I am going to do some yoga and reading still, but it seems like I got a bit of everything that I wanted in today without really feeling a rush or urge to do too much. I got about 30 items cleaned, tested, and pictured. This was pretty significant because they were larger and assorted items. I am sure a good amount of the average on them was close to $75, so that makes a huge difference. It takes up more time though with them being a bit assorted. However, I have started doing like categories and saving them up to save time. Today, I had 8 toaster oven and similar oven things to do, so they can all be tested in a row easily and quickly. I feel a sense of momentum building up for my work. I really feel like I am going to crush all of my previous sales numbers even though right now I am way below last year so far. I am building a healthy balance this time around. I really need to keep my pace up for this season. It will be crucial for me to do well this summer. I am debating on keeping around the toastmasters still. It would be possible for me to just utilize the time while I am in there. I was thinking about listing items in there while they are talking. I have no significant roles tomorrow, so it is mostly passive lol. Either way I am finishing out this term of doing it, so I might as well make the most of it. I can tell my speech is much better though. It probably is worth a break though. I can always come back. I can come in and out occasionally too next year if I want too. I am paid up on membership even past my role dates. I could just drop a bit of the responsibilities off. It would probably be wise if I am just focusing on the business right now. My over all energy and mood has greatly improved. I feel a lot more happy and energetic. I am going to keep reinvesting into my health as much as I can. I am getting a really good roi so far. I think I need to go out more even by myself to do a bit more different stuff too. I really should do some solo hiking. Although, I have been having a lot of fun just relaxing and gaming on the weekends right now. I notice that if I really just chill for the full two days I feel a urge to come and work. Once the car is finished I will venture out a bit more. I want to build up more consistency with working out again too. I have not been quite as good with that it seems like. I am not running nearly as much at all lately. I want to get back to twice a week or so soon. I am wanting to build up to 100 push ups a few times a week as well. That and a few days of yoga and a few other things with some weights.

Building this thrift route has been an amazing addition to my sourcing. I am adding in 1-2 more stores into it. I will have about 6-8 places to look for items. I found a board game worth about $150 for $4 today and some other pretty good items. I seem to be fairly consistently bringing in good stuff. I need to get about $100 worth of items a day to reach about $3k a month. More including the shipping, fees, etc. I still feel like that might be doable with this route. I think that I want to get this really well structured, then add back the dvds and start doing whole sale on them. I am not sure if that source will still get me them, but that would really keep things consistent. I am pondering some retail space, but I am not sure. It would have to be a good price to even really be worthwhile I think. I think the storage unit route would be good. I feel like if I get this going steady enough it would put me in a place to grow and expand easier. The more I lock down survival the better. I could even automate a good portion of this. I have not really studied items in a while, but if I am sourcing again it might be time for me to start studying a bit more items. I am pretty good at this point. I can find stuff most of the time, when I go into a place. One thing I know as well is that I could hone in on maybe just a couple categories. It's just hard with having inconsistent supplies. My energy and mood has been quite good. I am investing more time into yoga, meditation, floating, etc. It has been a huge benefit I think in terms of my stress and health overall. I am not over working myself either. I actually feel like I could work a second time in the day sometimes. I only work about 2 hours a day, then source for about 1-2 hours, when I source on top of it. I actually felt like working again today and that is not very typical of me after sourcing etc. I feel like I have topped with a lot of my investment stuff at least for now. I think selling off a bit more of the investments and putting it into the reselling business is much more sustainable at this point. My ROI is good on both though for sure, but I feel like if I get the reselling ball rolling more it will make a big difference financially for me with less risk. I have had a much improved relationship with money and investing now. Dramatically from even what I was during the pandemic.

I had a bit of a sluggish start this morning, but this proved to be a very productive day. This is the most energy I have had in a while. I think my brain was giving me some extra dopamine too, because I felt good overall. I went past my barrier of two hours of consistent work, but I also switched what I was doing up a bit. I took a break from posters and I cleaned, tested, and pictured about 35 items. That was a really good productive streak for sure. I am working on keeping up with the inflow of inventory, so I don't just have stuff pilling up. I still like having a pile, but it gets out of hand pretty fast lol. I feel really positive with my work right now. It feels really obtainable for me to hit high listing goals compared to what I was doing last year. I think this will really prove as a good way for me to have my survival meet. I think at any point in my life if I needed work at all this will be an option and a skill. I can easily and cheaply furnish a house with very nice stuff. I can also find myself stuff at massive discounts. Even if I was not going at this full time I can still support myself in many ways. I am starting to really like audio books a bit more now. I think the problem with most of them is just the boring monotone robot voice saying it lol. I think this is going to be crucial for me to keep up with learning. I am recapping a book I read about a month or so ago and picking up and retaining more stuff with this. I still have a good bit of stuff to cover though. I have still not scheduled to do the sky diving thing yet. I really need to work on pushing past my fear there. I should do some approaches too. I feel kind of apprehensive there just from where I am in life. I am not sure if it is really the time for me to start dating or any of that. However, that might be the best time to do it because I would not really care of the outcome lol.

@John Iverson It would be pretty tough to get most doctors to panel for much more than vitamin D. At least here in the US. Unless there is some other condition or concern. I would mention that you eat a special diet and would like to make sure all of your bases are covered. If you wanted a full test it would be pretty expensive. I have seen some where you can get a few specific ones for $100-$200 in the US. It depends what you are looking for though. If you had a specific condition like ADHD for example, then I have seen stuff suggesting to check zinc, magnesium, lithium, and copper toxicity/deficiency for example. So if you had something you wanted to check into specifically, then I would see what particular ones you should look for. Otherwise I would just get a regular blood test if you are healthy and have a good diet.

Starting to get on a roll with my business. My sales are down a lot, but the inventory that is coming in is good quality. I found a $200 game for $3 today. Definitely refreshing to find stuff like that. Very easy to ship and list too. I also found a dslr camera for a good price. I need to get a lens for it. I think I am going to use that for my photos to save time. I am using icloud right now and it is costing me like 20-30 minutes sometimes just moving photos. I can cut that down to almost instant with a sd card in the camera. I am looking to invest about $400 into shipping boxes as well. I have been very cheap with boxes over the years always getting the free ones. The reason behind this is that I will be able to confidently buy items that I know will fit these boxes. I leave good items behind just because I don't want to find a box. The boxes are probably about $4 each, but they fit exactly what I need. I have a lot of free boxes for the smaller items and stuff. This is mainly a structure component for larger items. I will be able to buy items that are worth $100-$200 more often. Even if it costs $10 in packing material I can usually net more than $50 of profit on this kind of stuff. Subwoofers are a good example. With the right box I can ship a subwoofer in 5 minutes. On some subwoofers I can net $150-$200+ of profit. I have not really been taking pictures as much as I would like, but I am starting to get on a roll. I have been getting distracted with sourcing, but that is much more fun lol. I think one of my biggest issues is constantly pulling myself from one thing to the other. I swayed way to heavily into toast masters and the youtube thing without really getting my feet wet enough. It cost me a lot of money in terms of how my business could have grown. I did gain a lot of personal skill though. I guess it doesn't all boil down to money, but money sure helps. Money will be a key resource for me building the life purpose I want. I do like reselling at least for now. I still need to get myself back on track with the LPC. I actually looked and I have read 14 of the recommended books for the life purpose course. So I have been working on it, but I need to focus on the course more for sure.

I'm really getting on top of the reselling it feels like. I am making a lot of progress with much less frustration and agony. I am having fun looking for items again too and that makes it much better. I really enjoy hunting for items and having a nice knowledge base of weird items. I just need to ramp this up a good bit more to really start bringing in some cash flow. I'm building the structure very well for this though and I have been for a couple of years. I decided to drop the book that was not giving me as much value. I am already flying through my new book. I read 70 pages in a day yesterday and I still want to read more. I need to find a balance here for sure. I need to cut something off sooner once it stops providing as much value. I extracted what I needed from that. I will finish the book still. It only has under 100 pages left. I just need to get my interest somewhere else. With the new book I am going to work on being less of a push over. I think this will really help me with the toastmasters thing. I want to build up less caring of what others think of me and take action that benefits me more. When it comes to sticking in that group it is the right thing for me to leave. I want to tell all of them though live and actually communicate with them. With the other group I just emailed them. I think that in and of itself is good practices of communication. I might still consider doing speech practice in the future for sure. However, my interest has waned quite a bit. No doubt I could keep growing as a speaker in toastmasters. In the last 2 years I have made massive progress. I think it's helped me be a lot more authentic in my communication and much more confident. I could speak to a group with ease at this point. Maybe I won't be the most interesting or funny, but I can do it now. I am really taking more notes on what I dream about. I think that survival video was pretty significant for me to work on. I had a dream of this girl that hurt my perception of women and relationships I think. This happened a couple times with her. I was quite foolish at the time, but I think this distorted my views a bit. Not in some drastic way, but I think it soured them. Something to investigate more into. Same with my last relationship really molded a big chunk of my perception of this. I have also been abused by a few adult women as a I child, which probably has not helped either. I don't hate women or anything like that. However, I think I have a lot of healing to do with these situations in order to have a healthy functioning relationship in the future.

I actually just let myself relax and play games a good portion of the day. I will admit that I had the thought of wasting my life a few times. I think it was fairly good for me though. I did actually have a few fresh thoughts on my current situation and where I am at in life. I think I should be a bit less hard on myself, but to a limit. I think that I need to take more action in my life and really build what I want. I am not going to get the changes I want by just playing video games. One big thing I notice is there is no real need or emotion being suppressed by playing a game. About a year ago I think now, when I started gaming again after a yearish break I had that issue. It isn't really a problem anymore. I think I have worked through a lot of my own loneliness and a bit of my inner demons. I think there is still a good bit of work to do though. I am going to order some books on racism and feminism. I think it will really help me expand from where I am at by learning more on these topics. I don't think that I am in an unhealthy area for either. However, I think that my view and understanding of them could be expanded. I think that most people just simply make an opinion on these topics without a lot of information. It will be interesting and I think they would be an interesting read. I am going to get about 3 books on each of those topics. I think just having something different to read would be cool anyway. I think there is a few key things for me to really tackle. OCD, shadow work, and life purpose. I think these topics are going to be really important for me to learn about. I think life purpose is kind of half theory half practice thing right now. While I think I might be finding some decent success with money lately, I really want to carve out a purpose for myself. I think these other things are important, but not sure where to fully focus in on. I am mostly just confused with LP. I did actually look into maybe becoming a NMD, but that doesn't really seem like what I want. I don't want to do 8 years of schooling, but that seemed to be if you want to be in a full service practice. You can actually be an NMD by just giving advice, which was much different supposedly. I am not sure if that is what I want to learn about, but the courses actually sounded appealing. I like looking into that stuff, but I am not sure if that is what I would want to do all the time. The college was $150k too for just the 4 years lol. It does sound interesting, but I think this is something I need to try more in practice versus just imaging what it would be like. I considered something like making healing modalities and stuff. Something like mushroom extracts or things like that. Possibly even learning about psychedelic therapies. All of this sounds cool in theory, but I think I need to do a bit more experimentation. I feel like it was pretty significant of what Leo had mentioned in his last video on how survival shapes us. He mentioned something a long the lines of how basically solving some of this stuff could really change us from a structure stand point instead of a content one. I think I could really see those benefits in doing some shadow work. I think learning about psychedelic therapy could help too. I feel like working on some of this stuff could really help me with everything else. Finding the LP etc. I feel like I really get in a rut with reading sometimes. I waste a lot of time on one book that is really not doing a whole lot for me and it makes me not want to read as much. I think part of that is resistance to doing the practices though for sure too. I suppose this is not just with reading, but in a lot of other areas in life I do this too. I just get stuck on one thing and kind of sit there.

I seem to be striking a good amount of balance with work and relaxation now. I am taking time in the week to go sourcing more, which is fun and is generating me revenue. I am doing mediation in the middle of the day again. I bought a set of guided meditations from Teal Swan that seem pretty good so far. I have not really done much guided ones, but they seemed to work well for the middle of the day. I seem to be getting back on tack with all of my habits it seems like. Reading, working out, business, etc. I just need to make sure that I am not being too robotic with stuff though. I am trying to add some things to switch it up a little. Different workouts and maybe do some longer distance sourcing and stuff soon. I am really getting the ball rolling with posters. I have about 150 pictured, graded, measured, and categorized that are not listed yet. I have just been going slow and steady with it. I am just keeping pace and getting to work. I will have 1000 items listed sometime fairly soon, which is something I have never reached before. I could see myself having a lot more if I can just keep up a gradual effort. I did consider getting a consultant for picturing my items. Just having them work out of a storage unit. Basically, I would clean and test the items and have set amounts for them to picture for me. I am not sure how I would want to go about it, but that might be an option. I could easily move out if I was on par with that kind of production. I guess a big piece of my issue here is that I just paralyze myself without making a decision. I for sure need to keep building up the business to really even need that fully. I need to be more consistent all around to do that. On the other hand I think about just focusing in on a life purpose, but the reality is that I need to have income coming in. This is basically my job that I like and have control over. I could see growing it to the next level helping excel me forward more. It has really been a huge help that I have added the floating into my schedule. I really feel like it gives me a great way to relax myself and really contact. My meditation has been supercharger in general it feels like. I hit very deep states with relative ease it seems like these days. It's very regenerative. I still struggle with some of the discipline for meditation in the morning though. Some is still forced and other times it feels like exactly what I need. I have put off the life purpose work a bit right now. I have been considering taking a week off and just working on the course more. I am getting there gradually. I am still reading the material right now at least. I am about half way I think through the course, but I am on more of the items that require more action. I notice I have a lot of issue there with books as well. I am working on breaking through that resistance though.

@modmyth https://www.youtube.com/user/rawfoods I'm not sure there is anyone more in depth on juicers than this guy. If you are thinking of starting this will save you a lot of time. He has a few really solid videos on accessories and techniques really worth watching too. Edit: I use a cheap juicer (Power XL) that I got as a gift. It works pretty good, but from the stuff I have watched I would defintely buy something $300 and up. If you wanted to be cheap just get a new open box one on ebay.

I seem to have a lot of recurring dreams about school. I seem to usually be really stressed by how things are going with it. The one I had last night I was basically a failure in the dream because I wasn't doing good in school. In the dream I was basically getting the idea that I was not going to amount to anything in life because of the bad grades I was getting. School itself was never pleasant for me. I was beaten for not getting good grades. I could have easily got straight As if I had the motivation and housing structure to support it. I was much more intelligent than most of the kids. I can tell I really feel like I wasted a lot of my life. I don't really think think that school really mattered all that much anyway lol. I think the dream shows how much trauma I had from that time period in my life. I've learned more in the last year than all of my schooling combined and that includes college. Something for me to ponder more though for sure. I am sure there is a lot of work that I can do from this time period of my life. I still have a good amount of healing for sure. As I think back on my upbringing I don't really recall any adult having a positive influence on me until I was in high school. Most of my teachers were not very developed at all. I was also quite a bit of a trouble maker, but even with that taken into account those teachers were still never that great. My cooking time has been cut down so much it seems like. This investment into my kitchen stuff has been really good. I feel like it saved me like 20-30 minutes yesterday. Ironically, with that saved time I had the opportunity to go to the thrifts with picking up my sister (making a route that saves gas/time) and I found a $400 vacuum cleaner for $10. Plus the vacuum was already cleaned out and showed little signs of use! I have flipped a good amount of vacuums and it is awful for my allergies and a pain to clean. I found a few other really good items too, but it is really powerful to get that little bit of time back. I am not even sure if I would have went without that extra time since I might have been in a rush or needed to come back and cook. I am going to get back into yoga more. I feel so good doing that it really feels awesome. It really gets me into a excellent state of consciousness compared to even meditation. I know I kind of had been backsliding on it there for awhile. It's always like I convince myself that I have no time, but I know that I could make time for stuff like that. I am starting to meditate a bit more in the middle of the day too. I noticed that my head was hurting yesterday and I was just feeling a deep need to do stuff, so the meditation helped a lot. I think I just get in that robotic routine and ignore my wellness too often. I was doing a speech in toastmasters today and a guest had given me some feedback that it seemed like I didn't have passion for that speech. I had the thought of that toastmasters on my mind too and it was at the same time the adrine (yoga lady on youtube) was saying to let go of things that no longer serve you. It's given me a lot to reflect on. I feel like a big portion I am still in the group is really just to socialize, get love, get approval, and etc. The more I inspect why I have the motivations for it. Is it to appease and impress others, or to really help myself advance my speaking? I think that once my presidency in the group is over I need to leave the group for awhile. Maybe I will come back and maybe I won't. I still enjoy those people very much and they have helped me so much. I can't really express enough how much I have improved my life with toastmasters. I just think that I need to focus on business and life purpose. Ultimately, just honing into the life purpose. If speaking is a part of that, then that is great. I just need to put the blinders on stuff that is not really advancing me right now.

@modmyth It's much different than what you might expect. Very mellow and it blends well with other flavors. Kind of think of a mild watermelon juice, but tastes like a cabbage. I've juiced whole cabbages only with some apple with it. I was doing it as part of a stomach protocol. I was doing like 1-2 whole ones with 1-2 apples or limes. I would recommend using about 1/4 of the cabbage. Get the regular (organic ideally) one. If you don't buy organic it is actually in the top foods that are least contaminated with pesticides.

I notice it it was fairly hard for me to relax a bit still. I am still kind of in this robotic zone a bit with things sometimes. I am going to work on trying to do a little less repetition. Although, some repetition is good for sure though. I looked into it a little more and there is a few more small thrift stores in town. I'm going to see if they have anything worth reselling. I am going to make it part of my routine with floating to get inventory. I can really see myself building up my income more in the coming months. I think just adding a few habits like this will be a game changer. I am working on powering through the resistance of a book. I know there is some good stuff for me to work on in here. A lot of the stuff in Leo's new video on survival kind of dove tails here. I am really on a medium to short term survival thinking. I notice that I do have some ideas of some stuff, but not sure how they would make any money. I considered doing something like informing people on toxins and health research kind of stuff. I mean maybe with coaching or something there could be some money, but most people don't care about that. I notice I kind of like doing the speeches with that stuff, but still not sure. I can tell perfectionism is a problem for me too with that kind of stuff. I really want to work on how much I talk still. My conversations are a lot better. I assume a lot of how I talk came from something that happened while I was younger. Although, I have made some massive improvements in terms of communication. I just need to get better at letting their be some silence. That and talking more about stuff that other people are interested in versus something that I am just thinking about.

Slow and steady wins the race in my experience. I can work 2 hours a day on my business and gradually do more, than working tons of hours. The effect of the work wears down into less and less if you spend too much time on it. Dedicated, focused, and deliberate work gets you much further. I've done the 80 hours a week stuff and it got me to where I did not want to work part of the year and likely cost me more than just doing a bit gradually. Although, at the time I needed to get the business working. I also have hours of work for my business that are just fun. I usually don't need to worry about the time spent doing that.

@Natasha It's pretty good. I recommend trying a lime too for taste. They give an incredible taste juiced. The outside of it is suppose to be good for you too.

I've been wanting to add a bit more things into my diet that I grow at home. I am open to pretty much any fruit or veggie. I've been thinking about doing micro greens indoors. I have a small garden outside that is already built with organic soil, but not sure what would be worth getting into. I am in Washington state with a pretty high amount of rain fall. I'm not sure gardening would really be worthwhile during the winter time, but who knows. I'm looking for something that is somewhat automated. I would be open to more stuff in doors possibly too. The main thing I would use daily it seemed like was the micro greens. I considered wheatgrass once I can consume that again.

I was enjoying a half head of cabbage in mine pretty often. Beets were also another really powerful ingredient. I would try to juice anything on sale and whole as possible.

I got third place (Out of like 6 or so people) in evaluation contest and I did not get in the top 3 of the 8 or so speakers. It went really well actually. I had a stumble during the speech, however this kept happing a bit even during practice, so not surprised. I recovered well though. I actually had not been practicing speech evaluations at all, so that was a good ranking considering that. I definitely could have practiced a lot more overall. I was so over done and not feeling good from last time I was ready to throw in the towel though. I did break a lot of resistance barriers though. I did a good amount of practice that I did not want to do. I actually felt like I would possibly want to compete in just the evaluation contest again. If I had just done that and practiced a lot I could win that. It is very relative to good speaking too. The speaking thing is a lot more theatrical. I am quite monotone and not very lively in presenting. That kind of reflects some of my regular interactions as well. I'll still keep it in mind of what I want to do going forward. I got my instant pot with air fryer and it is amazing. I can cook perfect tofu with ease now. I have really made some awesome investments into myself. I have not got stuff like this into my life for such a long time. I cook so much that all of this stuff is really going to be worth it. I will be able to try a lot of new stuff and make even better tasting foods. My digestive health is going a lot better. I feel like I have made a lot of improvements. This detox is going really well. In the future I might add in speech contests to speed up digestion if I am having issues too. I cut out all of the investing media I had been consuming. I am ready to start making a change in myself. I want to spend time on it, when it is needed for sure. Maybe a few times a year. I just don't want to look at it or do stuff with it as much. It's one of those things that hogs way too much mental space. I want to find and evolve a life purpose instead. I have a lot of other things to work on and think about as it is anyway. I think strategically right now I need to all in reselling while it is the prime season. That will run out pretty much by September. I am thinking that I can get 1-2 years worth of income (My needed expenses is pretty low living here at the moment) and have it listed. I still want to sprinkle in life purpose work though. Speaking will just be a side thing. I am still considering continuing it going forward. I feel like I am making a lot of progress in my social interactions and really over coming a lot of things just through speaking. I have considered taking a break from it, but still not decided.

@Raptorsin7 I think maybe just becoming aware of the baldness might reverse the claim.

I notice that I actually have some depersonalization after eating my big quinoa meal. I have now repeatedly tested that out at this point. I am thinking there could actually be a food that triggers that. It would seem quite likely now that I have tested this so many times and noticed how I feel. I need to keep testing more with the foods I eat to see what happens. I think there is going to be some massive health changes in myself as I go forward. My speech contest is tomorrow. I really need to kick it into gear tonight and get some practice going. I feel like I have made some really big improvements since last time. I'm not really too worried about winning or now. I notice that I am much less anxious this time. Still a little, but not even close to as much. I found a local thrift store next to my other one that is not a big company. So now I actually have some decent local sourcing to go to. I have been getting a lot of stuff lately just browsing and having some fun. I think I can add these to my floating trips and it will make a great routine for getting inventory. I'm going to work some more sourcing into my routine. I really want to hit my listing goals. If I get enough stuff I could seriously have enough stuff to start another business without much hassle on income. I am really starting to feel like I have more drive and energy for sure. I still have more work to go I feel like, but things are looking up a lot for me.

I would try to work it out with the client, or draw it out to build more clients. You might have some people pleasing stuff to work on as well. I use to be a people pleaser in business. People will steal your money, time, etc once the word gets out. Don't be surprised though if you lose clients by not being a people pleaser after initially being one. Also, would be up to you to decide what is best. I am not sure of your finances etc.

It's interesting to notice how much things pull you back into what society is into. I can tell that a lot of the beliefs and values I have has been built around society. I suppose I need to do more introspection and see what of those values are useful and which are not. I notice that even a lot of values from this forum get imprinted into me without as much resistance. Although, a lot of these things are a lot higher quality it can still be bad. I suppose it's one of those things where just by default you would have to build up these ideas and constructs to be within society. I have not been hitting the life purpose stuff as hard lately. I am really going hard with the public speaking and the reselling right now. Plus getting on top of my health. I feel like I am getting a lot more on track though. I still ponder the LP a lot, but I still need to get in and do more of the work. I think pushing it too hard forces unauthentic stuff though too. Admittedly though I think it can push out genuine stuff the more I push into discomfort on those values. I have been watching a bit of documentaries lately on 3rd world countries. It is really expanding my mind on what is needed in the word. It is heart breaking to watch what a lot of people go through in the world. I thought I had was maybe combining like the toxin knowledge with this to help other countries. Or some how help these other places. I'm not too sure though. To me that sounds pretty important to help these people, but I don't really know how. Something to ponder in for impact. The speaking is taking up a lot of time with the contest coming up. It should chill out a lot more after the fact though. I think this will help reduce stress and get me into a better state of mind all around. I notice that if my mind is stuck on something like that my performance drags a bit in other areas. I think I am going to keep working on reducing this time of looking at investment stuff. I have been having a hard time with it. The more money and risk I have in it makes it hard to turn away. I still need to keep working on balancing my portfolio better, but even for now it has made things a lot better. I am glad that I have done the balancing that I did. I have debated on actually taking out more money from them and putting it towards another business. I am just not so sure what I want to do yet. For now I think it is fine and I expect my income to start rising as I am listing more and more. I really want to aim to only check on them once per quarter. I really have no need to look at them aside from that. My health is starting to improve a lot right now it feels like. I still feel like I have some motivation issues and I need to work on my discipline more. However, I think that I feel a lot more up to things and I am being more consistent. I am not as much like a robot like I use to be either. I would force myself to be up at 5am, eat the same thing, read x amount of time, etc. I feel like maybe I am not getting as much reading or mediation done, but overall I feel better. I mainly read a ton if I like the book. I have considered reading a couple books at once to keep my interest up. Sometimes it feels like I don't have time with fun. I've been playing about 1 hour of video games a day and that has been a lot of fun. I hardly spend a much time browsing videos and stuff. I notice that I hardly have that many videos I want to listen on youtube to. I mean I have at least watched a few hundred of Leo's videos. I do need to keep adding more sources though for sure. I have been buying physical audio books to try out too. Maybe that would be a good route for me to try out. I need to get more stuff for that if I want to keep listing a lot. I notice that sourcing is even pretty good right now. It seems like how it was during covid last year. I will probably make some extra effort to source more while I can. Hard to balance finding life purpose, health, reselling, reading, speaking, etc.

Any specific things you want to know?

I pulled a muscle in my back just as I was starting to ramp things up! I probably went a little too hard I think with hiking, running, and doing the posters. The posters kind of puts my back at a weird angle. So I have taken some time to rest. I am actually feeling a bit better from it today. I think in a few days I will probably be mostly back up to speed. I am going to commit to spending $180 a month on floating. I have been getting some massive meditation benefits, when I go. These session are by far the best I get. The effects last nearly 4 hours of a meditative state through the day. It carries on later into the day much more subtle and chilled. I'm going to commit to making more money, so I can keep doing stuff like this. I really need to invest deeply into myself. I notice I am much less stressed and more productive from it too. I am facing some of the resistance with doing the speech coming up. I have 8 days (7 really now) to prepare for it. That is honestly more than enough time. I have already done this speech extemporaneously twice. I just want to polish up the intro heavily, gestures, and work on making good eye contact with the camera. I think it will go really well though overall. I am going to be a lot more chill this time I think over the whole thing. I am really getting quite a bit out of these life purpose books and course so far. I have been stalling up on the course a bit. I am working on values. I am on and off with taking breaks on it right now. I am reading the books though that compliment it too. There is for sure a good amount of resistance here. That will be the next book that I go for will target resistance. I could see myself being a really good business consultant. I have already done that in the past and helped someone get a lot of success. I am not sure that is the exact route that I prefer though, but it is an option. I can tell solving problems is likely my zone of genius. I seem to be really good at helping others break down their problems in a easy way and giving solutions. I notice that one thing I have a problem with is trusting others. I can tell this really erodes the quality of my relationships. It's kind of like this defense that I put up. I've had a lot of really low quality relationships in my life. From dating, friendships, to my parents. I've had my friends steal my car, my dad steal my money, and really had a lot of deep pain from my past girlfriend. These people were very under developed. A lot of stage red and blue. It's really made it hard for me to have really deep genuine connections. I have had such a hard time entertaining the idea of a girlfriend for so long because I just don't want to be hurt. Friendships aren't as hard for sure. The depth and the meaning though I feel can be effected from this. I tried to reconnect a bit with my dad, but it feels like a task. It's cool that I at least approached him and talked. After 7 years of no talking it isn't like it really has any meaning anymore. He was a big pile of shit, when he took care of me as well. I thought about just using the radical honesty concepts with him, building forgiveness with him, then maybe just never talk to him again. I'm really not sure what actual value I would get out of having him in my life. It sounds harsh, but I honestly don't know the point of it right now. It's more of a task, than anything. I won't make any final choices though now. It seems more loving to talk with him, but I just don't know. I also understand that his behavior came from his level of development and life experiences. Not to say that I have not built some really good friendships over the years either. I can just see this as an area that I really need to work on. If I could trust a woman to be in my life it would probably really enhance how I live. I need to learn to allow others to trust me more though too. Not that I think I am not trust worthy, but work on acting more on others best interests and not just my own. I am watching a bit more investing stuff again. I don't feel anxious about it though really. I seriously need to work on looking at prices at certain dates though. I just waste time and mental energy. I am still working on balancing out my portfolio and such. Stocks are really over priced mostly right now anyway lol. It's still interesting to build out strategy with my retirement account. I really need to focus the extra funds into diversified funds though and do a bit less of the research I think. Research the funds well for sure, but that takes a lot less time, than individual stocks. I have been kicking some ass on single stocks for sure though. I see the need to step back more. I will still treat it like a hobby. I don't mind looking into a company here and there. It's all in the balance.

Read the first money book on Leo's book list, that guy has a pretty solid life purpose that isn't toxic in the same field. It all depends on how you go about it and what you find meaningful to you. As you mentioned the space is filled with a lot of toxic bs, but it doesn't have to be. There is a lot of ways to help people reach financial freedom that isn't toxic.

Working on building back up with my discipline. I feel like a big chunk of it has just been a lack of energy for so long though. I am able to sustain most of the day now it seems like lately. I am picturing 20 posters per day right now, which is 100 per week. That is a good number for me to be on track with right now. I am making a lot of progress on the posters. I have put them on the back burner for quite some time, so to come in and have them going like this is nice. I am putting off any distractions to picture other items that would sell faster. I just want to stay in the groove and keep at these. I am feeling better towards the toastmaster group I am still in. I feel like that group is much more supportive and knowledgeable. I am considering still finishing my dtm. I feel like continuing to build my speaking skill at this pace is more well rounded. I am on the track for mastery, but I am not 100% sold on it. I can tell it is really useful though. Leadership is one thing that really seems to fit my personality and the things I do. I naturally gravitate towards leadership. I think with just one group it really lays off the pressure and I can still do it. I enjoy creating good speeches. I am more relaxed now and not really pressured to perform. I think that is the biggest thing that has held me back from creating a sustainable LP. I really just need to fully enjoy what I am doing and build a good pace to go at it. surely, I will hit a dip and resistance though too. Not discounting hard work either. I think all of that plays into it. I just need to not do such a big load of work at the start that it throws it off. I notice I am tempted to do more hours of posters for example right now, but I just need to pace myself. Maybe move it to 3 hours sometime soon a day. Which is honestly great. It seems like I have been having issues on and off with tea it seems like. I have not really got fully to the bottom of that. I experienced some fatigue today for a bit, but I got myself to really push the limit today. I am getting so much stuff done with much more ease overall. I need to practice more for the speech contents. I have not really been practicing much. Ironically, I made a better speech this time without really even practicing. I was able to do it really well without even practicing. I need to practice though. Even once a day would help a lot. I don't mind too much on the result. I am just going to relax and have fun with it. That is what ruined it for me last time.