Average Investor

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I use to run a lot. I had a lot of similar issues as I keep ramping up the distance. A few major things that will cause injuries will be bad shoes and not enough stretching. Those two alone can cause a lot of problems. You might be going to often or too long for what your muscles are ready for too. I recommend looking up how to test if running shoes are bad and build a good routine of stretching multiple times per day.

Making the first million dollars is going to be quite tough in the first place for most. It is totally doable over a lifetime though even if you worked minimum wage I think. Obviously, a lot of factors are involved, but assuming someone can spare any money and invest regularly. I think this is best placed a long side most things. If you actually listen to people on finance shows you will come across some that finally hit that number they need. Then all of the sudden they have nothing to look forward to. All of their energy and happiness was coming out of the pursuit of getting that money and they have it now. Financial independence is greatly important though. Going the middle way with investing and finances will probably suit most the best. It's needed for building wealth, but most go too far with it. Learning key concepts and really having a good understanding can make most a millionaire on that alone in their life time. I don't personally get all that jazzed up about retiring early. Ideally I would like to find the work that I would want to do in retirement, but do it now instead.

Sales are up 300% from last month just on ebay alone. I finally have my money back I dished out on a ton of inventory. I am going to be expanding with 12 more storage bins soon too. I am almost out of space from all of the back stock that I have. I donated a bunch of old stuff and I am still clearing some stuff out. It's look really good for this summer. I am only 20% shy of where I was this time last year. I was massively killing it last summer. I am pricing all of my items at high premium prices and selling them fairly quickly at that. Even putting numbers higher than the other items sold for and getting it sold. I think a big part in that is my really good photos, and I have perfect feedback. For some reason I have really been feeling intrigued on making videos again and practicing speaking. I had also come up with the idea of an invention for water filtration the other day, but I am not fully sure how it work. It would be really niche if it did, but something I would buy haha. I still have to play around more with some stuff. I am really liking the speaking, but I do need a break for now. I notice I am very relaxed speaking in toastmasters now even if I am just pumping out bullshit at the last minute. I just overwhelmed myself with too much stuff at once. I am going to start doing more solo bowling and some solo hiking. I really need to get out and do other stuff. I think that will really help expand and grow me. I did find a really nice rei tent for $6 the other day I thought about keeping for solo camping. It probably would not be a bad idea to keep that around. I think I would really benefit from just going out and doing that. Even if I just meditated and walked around.

I want to be attracted to them for sure. However, I'm not super particular if they make up for it elsewhere.

I would add a work on adding a bit more options with more protein. Some tempeh, tofu, and quinoa would be nice additions to what you have going. Also, I would use a nutrition calculator to get an idea of what might be missing in your diet. Some things to consider looking into would be vitamin D supplement and you will need B12 if you are not already doing that.

I did get approached by another girl. Was kind of strange. I don't think I have seen her before. I'm not sure if she was just making a joke or not, but she added to a joke about how much I come to one of the thrift stores. She might have just been joking, but I doubt I have ever seen her in my life. We laughed about that no problem. As I was walking away from the building she called out to me and said that she didn't catch my name. I walked up to her and we exchanged names and I turned around and walked to my car. She showed a lot of interest in me with her facial expression. Instantly a "no" had popped in my mind at glance with her. I have been learning about self esteem and I wonder if that is part of my problem with stuff like that. I mean no doubt she wasn't a model, but she wasn't bad looking either. I didn't give her a change at all. I wasn't rude either. We made good eye contact and etc. I wasn't nervous or anything, the opposite if anything. I could have easily carried on a conversation with her, I feel like I should have. Even for just practice sake. I do that kind of thing fairly often it seems like. I don't really want to lead people on though either. I am doing some work on self-esteem and I can see a lot of old things I use to do had a lot of low self-esteem with them. One dynamic I notice is that I use to try to get women a lot who did not want me. So if a woman come onto me easily I just rejected them. That is one thing I use to do a lot, but I am sure there is more carried on into that. My last relationship was started basically around the desire for just sex, which was another thing for low self-esteem. I have also entertained a lot of relationships where the person might have even been subtly abusive to me and I would just be okay with that. That would be another indicator of that too. I have massively improved myself for sure, but I did not really know how much I use to do a lot of this stuff. I can imagine that these types of things are still in my life in much more subtle ways. I am going to keep working on identifying them and working on them. I am reading about this right now and I think after this I am going to do more on confidence building and charisma. I feel like I have really been coming out of my shell though. I laugh a lot with just random people I meet thrifting regularly now it seems like. I have still be thinking about skipping on any sort of romantic relationships for awhile anyway. While it does sound fun and intriguing. I think in terms of how much time and energy I have I want to put a lot of that into building an amazing life. I think in part too I will only be able to get higher and higher quality women as I raise the quality of my own life. No doubt I want to build up social skills I would be maybe open to a date if it comes up. I just don't really want to focus on this stuff as a main thing. Right now I am really building up my reselling business. Then I want to deeply work on my life purpose. I am going to keep growing and expanding a lot too. I feel like I make improvements fairly often and consistently.

Finally got a good amount of the new items listed. Sales are up over 200% from last month. Last month and the last few months have been pretty trash though lol. Down 40% from last year to put it in perspective even with this. I don't expect that too last long though. With the new route I have built up and my energy I am really rapidly expanding my inventory. I am thinking that I could be able to get a few hundred items for sale a month. Not a crazy number, that would be a massive boost. A good chunk of the items I sell are worth at least $50 too. I am trying out my more focused reading with a new book. So far I read about 30 pages today, which isn't so crazy, but I will probably hit about 50 tonight or more. I am going to get some good hours in tomorrow and I might even be able to get close to half way finishing the book. I am much more hooked at the start of the book, so this really helps me keep my attention. I should be able to create new ideas much fast from this since the information will be more condensed. I have been having some thoughts about not talking to my Dad still. It's been a few months now. Maybe 3? I actually recall now that I started talking to him again around fathers day last year. I don't know. I am really thinking about the people that I spend the most time with. Obviously, he is not one of those people, but I am allowing him in my life. I notice my back hurts a bit, when I do yoga in the spot he hurt me and I find it hard to let that go. I still have more forgiveness work to do. However, just because I forgive someone doesn't really mean that I should be interacting with them. I sort of want to sit him down and really discuss the things he did. I also would like him to pay me the money he owes me. Those things are really not that important though. I think that if I were going to really talk to him much at all or even have any sort of relationship it would probably require those things to be done though. Even then I just feel like I am putting time into something that really doesn't matter a whole lot. I think my own healing and moving forward is important here. Just not sure about actually maintaining anything with him. I really need to buckle down and keep my business in motion this month. I need to really be going at it. I got two boxes full of free items today from a garage sale. I have been getting solid stuff lately too. I think that I can really scale if I keep going at this. I really want a stable income. I don't want to be worried at all about finances. It's been really fun this season too. I feel really in the groove with it. I am not over working myself and not overdoing it. Keeping a nice balanced schedule and taking care of myself. I think that I will reap a lot of rewards from that.

A good part of that is just knowing what you are buying. You could get a laptop with 16gb of ram that probably has plenty of power for $500. Even cheaper if you shopped around since there is so much abundance.

It's actually starting to get a bit closer to a year since I last tripped. I was thinking shorter than that. About 9 months I suppose to be exact. I investing in a lot of books to help me to do psychotherapy with psychedelics. I have not started reading them yet though. I feel like in the past I have been missing a lot of the benefits. I have also needed a lot of time I feel like to integrate that experience. I think in particular with LSD I just would not want to feel depressed and depersonalized after the fact and that has had me avoid it more. I want to do mushrooms though. That really seemed to give me a ton of benefits with little to no downside. The trip itself was not nearly as pleasant though lol. I want to actually study this and really use this tool optimally. I think it has been good for me to take a break for awhile. I don't think I did much more than get my feet wet though. I seen some big benefits for sure, but I think it is time to start diving in more. My energy and mood have been amazing. I feel like I can work almost the entire day it feels like. I am really getting the gears moving with the reselling business. I have been really on top of it and constantly putting in work on it. I hit 900 active listings for the first time and I feel like I am going to hit 1000 easily. I am more than half way to my listing goal of $50,000 too. I feel like I can hit that in a few months if I really keep at it this season. This is the best I have felt in years. I feel so calm and good. My health had been so shitty for so long I guess I just have forgot what it feels like. I always just kind of thought I was getting lazy or did not have the drive to do stuff. I am going to keep my focus on reselling until about September. I am going to figure out the best ways to keep this optimized during winter and keep some stuff still coming in. I want to really start working more on life purpose then. I want to figure out what I want to do for my next business. Reselling will keep me a float for sure if I keep the time in it at least for now. I have been thinking about doing the youtube route again. I would just want more clarity for the direction. It does still seem like a viable way to make money and I really enjoyed it last time. I was looking forward to making more stuff, but survival got in the way.

I am starting to do yoga as a part of my morning routine. This seems like a good fit and I seem more mindful throughout the day so far adding this. I am kind of liking this versus running and stuff as much. I have kind of fallen off with running. I've jogged hundreds of miles of the last couple of years as it is. It isn't quite as thrilling as it once was. I think a good part of that was just me forcing myself to keep the habit too. I am working on adding a bit more upper body stuff. I am going to keep trying to do at least one jog a week though. I think the running has it's place. I have mostly just been more focused on working. Thing seem to be going quite well for the business. Sales aren't up just yet, but the pace is really good. I think that I am going to be able to expand more on my store and organizing space. I am going at a really good pace. I am working on coming up with more ideas to get items more easily. I think that is one of the biggest time bottle necks is really just how long it takes to get items. For sure the most fun part of doing this though. I really need to just keep getting items up asap. I need some decent cash flow coming from this. I really want to keep working on increasing the amount that I read. It seems like I am really short of time if I move it towards the end of the day. I might try to add it more into the morning routine, but it is pretty tough. I can tell I am getting a ton of benefits by still reading consistently. I feel like I need to be increasing that. I have had a big decline in the amount of stuff I listen to right now as well. I find myself just jamming to music a lot more lately it seems like. I think part of that is just that I have listened to so much personal development and related for so many years in a row now. There is for sure a lot to learn and still work on. I am sure at this point I have watched hundreds of hours of even just Leo's videos.

I definitely still get a bit of thought loops on stuff. Not really bad at all though like I use to. Particularly only if something happens that stands out. It seems like my mind just has to repeat the topic over and over until I have nothing less to think about it. I am sure a lot of people have that issue with things. I would like to keep improving on that. I want to be able to detach so much from the result or what happened, that it just doesn't bother me. I am having a bit of a hard time getting myself to just relax a bit still here and there. I think in terms of meditation I have a bit of backlash because of the floating sessions. I am getting really deep with those sessions though now it seems like. I am still working on practicing though. I am not being as forceful with it either. If I am too tired I am not going to sit there and meditate for 30 minutes. I just let it go. Although, I admit I enjoy the calmness and the state of the meditation. I am trying to let myself just game if I want to. I have been playing a bit more since I got a really good game. It seems to help me keep in balance. I still notice that I think about life a bit with it. I am not getting quite what I want out of life. I suppose I really don't fully know what I want is the issue. I do want to be working on something bigger than the reselling thing. I would like a deep committed relationship as well. I suppose those are a few things to keep working for. I am going to try longer book sessions and powering through a book in a few sittings versus as much spaced reading. I notice I lose interest a lot more towards the end of the book. Like the initial interest could have me reading for hours the first day. I learned about a concept of reading vacations that gave me this idea. I am going to work more on approaching women. Asking that girl on a date has really helped me improve. I think this will be a lot more effective than toastmasters for right now too. I can really do a lot of work on myself from this it seems like and still really improve my speaking. Still doing a little toastmasters though right now too.

I did ask the thrift girl on a date, but she is married. She wasn't wearing a ring though. We laughed it off and it was good. I did really good conversing with her and really working on being more authentic. I mentioned meditating she just was blank about that, so I kind of figured it may not work any how. It was good practice. I feel a lot more confident about it. I did not feel nervous while I asked. More so of just starting the conversation with her. It will take some practice for sure. I will still see her occasionally and I am not really worried about it. She is pretty cool. I have been crushing it buying local items. I have like over 200 items back logged ready to be listed. At least close to 200 cleaned, tested, and pictured! I should be having some good income soon. Meditated for almost my full 90 minute float session today! I hit a point where I just became the feeling of warmth. Felt as though I had lost all of my senses otherwise. It was an amazing session.

Did really good at an estate sale today. I am learning a lot about kitchenware and vintage household items. I found a really nice set of 1940s pyrex stuff today. I am continually trying to push myself a bit more and learn more and more stuff. Most people don't seem to mess with that kind of stuff. I notice a lot though how many people are resellers at these kind of things. I peak at their phones to see if they are checking ebay a bit to get a gauge of that lol. I know quite a bit and still can show up a few hours after it opens and do well. It just shows how much of a limit there is in terms of competition. No doubt I can just know more than most people and do fine. Just that being in something so competitive isn't really where I want to be. I want to create something in the future. Still I have been getting the kinks worked out on this business a lot. I feel like this season is really going to rock. I think that I am going to just go ahead and ask the thirft store girl out. She is quite cute. I don't really know a whole lot about her. I have been trying to strike up longer conversations with a little a luck. I am doing really well with the eye contact and stuff at least. I am not really too worried if I get rejected. It isn't really that big of a deal. I did look at her a little better and she is more thin than I though too. So good looking and healthy. Who knows though. She seems a little older than me, but not by too much. Even if she says yes I need to be wary of just being too lustful. I need to be grounded and really inspect what I might be getting. I am also going to be upfront about living with my mom early on if we go out. I am fine with being rejected over that. I just want it out in the open early on. Well, with anything in general I want to be upfront. I think I have a good vision for my life though that a girl would find quite attractive comparted to most. I have been studying creativity and how to come up with ideas more lately. This is intriguing to me and seems well worth it. I have been trying to add more of the requisite variety into my life too.

The thrift route has been really making a ton of progress for me. I have a ton of inventory coming in regularly it seems like. I am noting the days that are the most stocked on my calendar. Once I figure out the less optimal days I am going to start traveling out of town on them to get larger loads. I am keeping up well with my stamina. I feel really good. I am not over doing it at all it seems like right now. Just steady progress and I am chugging a long. My health has made some significant improvements. I seem to be able to eat foods that were making me sick before. I feels way better every day. Still room for improvements, but is has been a lot better. I am working on building up my creativity a bit more. The stuff I am reading seems really solid right now. I am only reading about an hour a day right now. It would not hurt if I were to ramp it up in the future. I think I just need to space it out. I am still having a hard time balancing work with it all though. I am putting my business at the top of the list since it is coming into the best time of the year to be doing it. I can focus more on other aspects of my life during the rest of the year. Still even then I can see creativity helping me with this business more. The more creative I am about finding ways to get items and run my business will make a big difference. I went out to the bowling alley the other day. It was really nice to get out and socialize in person. I've made so much progress it seems like. I had even used radical honesty a few times while I was out. Stuff I would not normally have said was not an issues. Pre-covid I would not have even bothered with that. I was so much less worried about what I said or did etc. I still have room to improve, but that was great. I nicely even told a guy that I did not really want to hang out with him unless he was with my friend. I made the situation fine and even explained that most people would just lie and say they are busy. There is nothing wrong with the guy, but he has a lot of SD blue and orange values. I just want to be around people who are wanting a lot more in their life, open minded, expanding a lot, and have high integrity. In general I would like higher quality friends for in person hanging out, but this is fine for now.

@Logan Check out the book Presenting to Win by Jerry Wessman. This would save you from a lot of BS that toastmasters does for a speech structure wise. If you start with his techniques first you would progress much faster. Depends what you want though. This book covers a lot on structure. I read it like a normal book, but jumped around when I was actually applying something. So when you are working on a opener of a speech go to that chapter for example.

I feel like 75% of my desire for that girl is just sexual desire. I mean in a sense it is just purely that. Since I really don't know anything about her. I was considering asking her out today and I just decided not to. Maybe that will come at some time, but I am not really that worried about it. I think a big part of that is just sexual energy and not knowing where to place it. I have so much to discover and figure out I am just not sure where to start right now. I think that I probably should do some more life purpose work. I just need to make it a lot less of a grind. I think that is what ruins it for me. I think I want to read some books on creativity. I think that is really the part that I am lacking for coming up with solutions for designing my life. That and even just within my work. I am not really all that creative even in reselling. I am making progress though for sure. I just need to change the way I go about things and ultimately myself. If I don't change myself I am just going to be a reseller who lives with his mom and stay doing the same stuff. No doubt I have it pretty nice with those things. I don't even hate living here at all. It's actually pretty nice aside from misc tasks I get asked to do often. It's pretty solid here. I don't really feel any fear about money or anything really, but I could admit it could get too comfy. I feel like I should make way more money than I do. I probably would not be fucking around if I had my own place. Even then I still spend a good amount of time working and doing personal deployment. I don't just sit around and play video games all day. One thing I have been noticing with the floating is that I feel as sense of panic sometimes with it. Even though I know that I am in the tank. It's like a go into a meditative state and come back in a panic. Like I feel the bit of pressure on my ears, the darkness, etc. I had that feeling 3 times today while floating for 90 minutes. I am not sure what to really make of that. It doesn't seem like a big deal just not sure why I feel like that. I have been having a bit of a hard time meditating as much lately. Mostly from just doing a lot of work I think.

Invest into some good quality books to really get the fundamentals of speech construction. Toastmasters is good for providing advice on gestures and style in my opinion. It is also a nice place to learn and try new things out with a live audience. Keep in mind too that there will be a lot of armatures in the groups. Not that you can't learn stuff from them, but if you are getting your advice from just newbies you are not going to progress fast and in some cases even pick up bad habits. You could actually join an online meeting now with people really anywhere in the world since it is mostly online. If you were looking to get a taste and feel for it would be a good start for someone just starting.

I think once my car is fixed I might start to do more out of town sourcing. I could possibly book a hotel for one night to help me not have to spend a lot of gas and time. Gas is literally like $60 per day. A hotel is like $100, but it saves me about 2 hours of waking up early and a lot of driving. I can fit a lot of shit into my SUV, but the only problem is if it looks like stuff people want to break in and steal. I think this would be worth it, but probably should pay a little more to park in a good spot. I usually get a lot of stuff even in one day. I could stack things to the celling if I needed and I have. I think this would be the solution to really ramping up production. I could do this once a week maybe once I get back. I can usually find a couple items right off the bat to pay for my expenses too. Something I have to consider is the meals and such though. I just need to figure out how to make most of my stuff with the instant pot and I should be good. I thought about investing into like a 5 gal stainless steel water container too. I could use these hotel nights to even meditate and relax by myself, which I normally can't do. I will definitely keep this in mind in the future. I notice that I am still having a bit of a hard time balancing reading, exercise, and business work. I am really focused in on my business right now. I really want to get this stable and working. I need to make sure I am taking good care of myself physically though. I could try to workout a bit more in the morning possibly. Even if I were to just do yoga or something that would be a lot better than nothing. I have not really been running as much. I still like to run though. I just don't feel the urge to go out all of the time and do it. I know I still should get myself more on track with the life purpose course. I am going to come back and work on that more in the near future. I might do a bit more of that on the weekends. I have not really deeply jumped into something to work on for myself right now. I am not sure where to start for trauma healing if that is what I do. I think part of my problem is that I don't really feel like the trauma is that big of a deal. I don't really feel all that burdened or anything by it. Even though I had a good amount of abuse and stuff growing up. I am not really sure where to start with that. I've got some books to read on it though. I am working on some of these techniques from this book. I am adding a little more ruthlessness to my business and the things I do. I am not really a ruthless kind of guy lol. I am much to light in fact. I have allowed people to steal thousands of dollars from me and really let myself get pushed around. I am starting to do just a bit more ruthlessness. I think it will balance me out. So with business I am going to do more of whatever it takes to get the items that I want. I'm still going to be mindful and let go of the need for them. I am also not going to directly hurt people. If I have to show up to garage sale events 2 hours before it starts, then I will and not feel guilty about it. If I move some items or use knowledge to my advantage I am not going to feel bad about it. If some old lady sells me her stuff for a few bucks and I make a thousand bucks I am not going to feel guilty about it. I am not going to let others walk over me. If someone owes me money I am going to collect. My dad owes me $1,200 that I have not really explicitly asked for. I actually have not talked to him in a few months. I need to collect on that. He has owed me that for 7 years. I honestly don't really give a shit what he thinks about me. I honestly considered just telling him that I am going to straight up call the grandparents who gave me a portion of that money and tell them he stole it if he does not pay me. I am sure he will have some bullshit excuse for not paying me it. He is a millionaire and stole all of my birthday money saved up for years. I am not going to let him get away with that. Even if I have worked on forgiving him for doing so. I need to collect that money just for my own self. I need to not let people just fuck me over, when it is convenient for them.

With your mother and grandmother directly, I would work on becoming aware of the emotions while around them. If you inspect them further it is something that you are perpetuating and not the reality. For example if you feel like your mom is annoying. You will be around her making yourself annoyed because you are carrying that idea that she is annoying. Even if she hasn't really changed her behavior. As for other women. I would see what kind of patterns of behavior that you have as a result of this. Then working on finding out where those behaviors came from. You might be able to pin point it to a few times that something happened. You can then work on forgiveness if it is needed with those situations. That and identifying things that you unconsciously decided from those situations.

There is something deeply wrong there for him to not want to have sex for that long. For the guy to want to refrain from having sex shows that he isn't really interested in having the relationship. As I started to lose interest in my ex the sex dropped with it. There is something going on there. If he is not willing to work on it or talk it out with you, then there is really no point in being in that relationship. I don't know where you stand with him, but just based on the information you shared I would recommend leaving. You will have to really consider what would be best for you though. Consider the fact that you have already given him 3 years to work on this as well. If this even gets resolved you could be stuck with other major issues for decades if you keep in it. You're basically still in this because of the sunk cost fallacy.

I'm pretty sure I have figured out how to at least make $100 a day of profit with reselling consistently. It will be more rough though in the winter for sure. I am going to have to really grind once I am doing taking a break to really put things into place. Right now though just between two thrift stores mainly I have been brining in good stuff. I am going to try to work on adding more requisite variety to this though. I really need more methods of bringing in these items. Once I really have this foundation built and stable I am going to be able to focus much more on life purpose or whatever I decide to do. I did shot a video review and I feel really good about how far my speaking skills have come. I still have a lot of work that I could be doing for sure, but this has been quite good. I genuinely felt good about doing the speaking. I think that my main thing with it is just the fact that toastmasters is boring versus actually doing some speaking. I think another big thing is I just don't want to ape what everyone else is doing. I'm not sure that I really have anything that is that unique or original. No doubt that can come over time still. I am just not too sure about it. I honestly feel like shit going to toastmasters now. I have reworked my schedule to give me the most energy and going to the meeting just fucks up my whole day since it is so early. That and I just don't really feel that excited to try and get awards or prestige in the toastmaster world. None of that really sounds that appealing. I feel like there is so much bullshit that picks at you in there that you don't really get a lot of time to speak. I can literally critique a speech better than anyone in the group I was in and the one I am in from reading one book. That's not just me saying that either. I went into competition for it. I might find a way to keep honing this maybe. The video stuff is kind of cool for sure. There is one girl at one of the thrift stores that obviously has some attraction for me. Through our eye contact and how nervous she gets with me. She is pretty cute for sure. She isn't super slim. She's a bit curvy for sure. Not fat though. I'm not too sure how I feel about that. I would feel like anyone eating healthy would be quite lean. I notice in the past I don't really set the bar high enough with some of that. I guess I am not too picky on looks. I could probably get some really good looking women though if I applied myself to it more. I have had a hot girl literally approach me and say I was cute before, but I blew that lmao. I am much more well groomed, fit, dressed, etc now. I have much more desirable qualities as well. Not to say that this girl isn't cute or anything. I am sure I could do better in regards to looks if that is what I wanted more of. I've never been the type to really play around or just want sex etc. I have been really weak with women in the past. Maybe that is why I don't go for the most attractive. I've been kicking around the idea of asking the thrift store girl out. I want to try practicing keeping a drawn out conversation with her. Maybe just in that I can get a better idea if I even want to try with her deeper. I for sure have a lot of stuff that I personally want to work on. My finances and living with my mom isn't really idea for having a girlfriend. Although, the finances are getting improved for sure. In the past I have been a pretty shitty judge of women. I mean I definitely dodged some bullets though too. Just overall I have made some really poor choices lol. I have not really done a lot of theory on them. Although, I do have a lot more knowledge on human development at this point. I could probably weed out people a lot better. I do kind of want some sex though too if I am being honest. I do like the idea of having a partner to do stuff and interact with though. My last partner was quite cut off emotionally. We did have some good times just going out and doing stuff though. I suppose there is no reason I could not just do that stuff by myself though. I feel like my baseline happiness would improve with a girlfriend. Assuming it isn't like my last relationship lmao. I am not really at a point of need or anything like that really. It's been over 2 years since I left my ex. I am quite content being alone. In fact I feel like a good chunk of being alone would be lost due to dating.

Well, it might be worth trying to figure out why you feel so heavy after eating. After a good meal I can usually get in some more work. There are some varying factors though for sure.

I think this time around I want to pair tripping with life purpose work. I think maybe that could help give me some of the insight that I am looking for. I think my focus should be on the reselling mostly for now. Since the prime season for getting items will only be a few months. I am thinking about planning a full month of just 5 days a week stock piling inventory. Once I hit a point where I won't really need a flow of items I can cut out most of the sourcing time. I still like that, so I don't mind going, but I won't need to go as much. Once it hits winter it isn't nearly as good anyway. I am not sure if I am just hitting a wall with work, or I just am reacting to reintroducing honey. I hit the fatigue a bit again today. I worked for a good while. I feel like my energy was just not fully there. I feel like I was wasting a lot of time. I could have probably got a lot more focused work done if I had more energy in me. I seem to have high energy every other day so far with the longer hours. I am working on getting rid of guilting myself. It is more just negative self talk. It's something I need to drop. I feel an urge to always be working on things that advance me. I am doing the relaxation and stuff. I just mean overall. I always feel like I am not exercising, reading, learning, etc enough. To an extent that is true though sometimes. I am not putting reading at the top like I use to or exercise for the moment. It's hard to have all of that in the day and really balance it all out. I do play video games a bit too. Usually 1-2 hours. Which I could drop to an extent. I don't even always have that much fun playing them. It is more of just a way to take a break I suppose sometimes. It has it's moments though for sure. I could probably do away with a bit of that and just do some reading. I feel a lot more stimulated by a good book it seems like a good portion of the time. I know to a degree it helps moving towards this stuff, but I think I am just going to naturally want to keep doing it anyway. Feeling a pressure to do it all the time probably has the reverse effect.

I feel like I am really steam rolling things with my energy right now. I doing about 2 hours or work, eating, work, rest, then a bit more work. I am pretty sure I got more than 5 hours of work in today. It was a really slow start though. I think my natural energy spike is closer to noon. I am pretty sure that is why I even feel like working a bit even this late at night. I think I have found a good balance point though. I am making sure to relax and watch a bit for tension too. I notice if I have been working for awhile my muscle get tight and I get to lasered in. I am doing a bit of conscious breathing and releasing while doing it. It seems to really help. I am looking forward to doing shadow work in the future. I am still compiling stuff. I am going to work on doing trips again sometime soon. I have not tripped in well over 6 months. I want to see what I can do to work deeply on myself with them. I want to be more pragmatic about my use with them. I feel like I can make some massive progress with them. I am in no big rush though either. It has been nice really adjusting and integrating what I have experienced in the past. I am having a bit of a hard time balancing work with everything else right now. I am going to try to do more reading on the weekend, but I feel like I am lacking with it on week days. Reading is super powerful. I suppose I have a lot of theory to work on and integrate. I should do more audio books I think and really recap a lot of the stuff I have been learning.