Average Investor

I think most of the issue stems from this. Work on building up your self-esteem would be a great start. You should be high value to yourself and others. This "looks scale" is pointless. I would start out by reading the 6 pillars of self-esteem. This would likely help your results a lot if you apply the stuff said.

@herghly I would like to hear how it goes as well.

I finished the whole book and didn't find it all that great. There was a pretty good layout for the heros journey though. I extracted a few good nuggets of wisdom for sure.

Whatever, I have been sick with has slowed me down a lot. Sleep has been hard, digestion, energy etc. I am taking it a bit slower. The time off got pushed a little back, but I am going to go light until then. I am going to get some work in, but I will go easy on myself with this. I do feel a bit better today, but I have just felt like garbage. I am going to start weighing options on how to expand my business, when I get back. For some reason I have a fear of expanding it seems like. I want to see what the biggest space I get at a lower rate would be. I want to model this inventory system of a guy that is close to making a million a year. I think I am ready to start growing it in that direction and just be more consistent overall with it. For some reason, I always feel scared/hesitant to make moves like that. It slows me down too much, but I know that I need to do it. Hopefully, I can find something kind of close. I think once I get survival handled with the reselling it will be time for me to really keep working on committing to a life purpose. My biggest issue for sure is just not sticking with stuff. I still kind of feel like making yotube videos or something would be good for me. It just seems like I am not really providing something unique or original. I talk a lot, so I think making that into a creative outlet would probably be good for me as well. I'm still going to finish out the course and really extract my values. I know my strengths pretty well at this point and I use them regularly. I also want to make something that has vertical growth with me. If I want to reach high levels of development in life, then I want to have something that can scale similarly. It's just been hard for me to think outside of the box. I'm sure I could contribute a lot of good stuff if I dedicate my life to any field really.

@7thLetter We are about the same age and I feel where you at with the situation. I don't personally disapprove of it. I think that using it as a building block to help escape wage slavery can be useful. I don't trade, but I invest for the same kinds of reasons. Even for me in my situation, it's not the end stop for me. It's a building block for sure. I have had second thoughts a lot about it. I am just at a point where I need it to generate enough money to survive, then help me pursue other creative adventures. Being able to enjoy the work I do is crucial too. Don't let what anyone says limit you on what you decide to do. I for one have not got it all figured out, but have some experience with it. I think Leo has some solid advice for it, but you have to start with where you are at and what you want. I enjoyed looking at stocks and such for quite awhile. I have read a good variety of books on the topic too. I feel much better now only checking on it 4x per year. It caused me a lot of unneeded anxiety. However, if I was to look for new investments I can put in some work. I've also never been able to rely on it for my full income either aside from maybe a few months and I wasn't trading. Even with that though it is stealing from someone. I am sure there is a lot of people though who bought that at the top price and lost money. Regardless of who they might be. A lot of the people involved in that are talking about it like it is a good thing they are doing. Like it's a robinhood type of situation. The situation is so normalized in our society. I think it is a good example that highlights the issue with those activities. I almost put $50 into GME at $5-$6. You can be sure I would have cashed out my profits had that been the case.

@7thLetter One thing I notice is that it is very easy to self deceive, when it comes to survival. Even in the reselling business I have to be ruthless with some things and I notice myself perpetuating a story that favors me. It's very difficult to sperate the two. Where in one customers or sellers eyes maybe they see me as a thief or the bad guy. In mine I did the right thing or the best I could. Of course I try to apply more consciousness as I go. My income also isn't at a point where I can let someone just take $500. Or let someone know they're selling something for 100th of it's value. I would recommend stepping back and consider meta wise where you are with stocks. Not saying you do that with the stocks, but I know it was easy for myself to get really wrapped up in them. I also use to be a guy who would pump up crypto stuff on youtube maybe 3-4 years ago now lol. I've surely developed a lot since then. I have had other businesses that were just wrong, but still convinced myself that I was doing the right thing. I agree though that the crypto stuff is incredibly low conscious stuff. There is some trickles of great innovation I see coming from it at least. I have invested there, but I don't spend my time listening to all the BS around it anymore. With investing, I think funding businesses is very important. A lot of that money that gets raised actually helps a lot of companies and a good amount of them are doing a lot of good. Even if just at a minimum creating some jobs. It's set up in a way though where it is hard to even make the most money if you fund the most conscious investments. Then if trading is sprinkled on you see stuff like the GME stock situation and AMC, which takes more and more away from the good it could do. No doubt some people made out big on some of that stuff, but they scooped up all of the money from a lot of people who simply didn't have much of an idea what they were doing. Also, if you have not read Leo's top book on the booklist for money, I highly recommend it.

@Bob Seeker Wow, that was great. I really enjoyed listening to her reasoning for getting married. Not something you would typically hear in US culture.

I think the big split there is the value creation difference. Even in drop shipping you are still creating value for someone. When it comes to investing I have heard numbers in like the 90% area for people who cannot out perform the market. Not only that it creates no value or service at all for other people if they are just trading. From what he mentioned with the stock market it is kind of a theft. If you took a bunch of profit off people and the price tanks on something, you basically just took their money. Similar to something like playing poker isn't really creating value either, besides maybe some entertainment. I actually resell stuff myself and you would be surprised how often people are very thankful of the services that I provide. I had a guy today thrilled about rare collectible book I sold, which I will ship with a printed out texted for the recipients birthday. I have never once had someone thank me for selling some investments at the top. Even with the book the guy who sold me it knew I was going to sell it on ebay and was happy with what I paid as he didn't want to mess around with selling stuff online. That might not always be the case, but there is still much more consciousness and positive impact than most regular jobs. My guess is he would still not promote or encourage any sort of reselling either because of the fact that it isn't a powerful life purpose. Although, I have seen some instances where people have made a lot of positive impact in their communities with it. It's also still filled with the survival aspects of "how can I get this cheaply off of you and make some money." It isn't much of a creative domain either. There is leeching off of things like premade products and structures. Jeff Bezos for example created the pathway for all of the Amazon sellers, so it would be leeching off of that structure in a sense instead of making your own. Not to be confused with extrapolating with that platform either though. Still it is a legitimate way of making money where you can have some conscious control over how you operate your business.

I actually put a bit more effort into my toastmasters speech today. I had been doing a lot of just extemporaneous speeches. It felt good to put together something that was pretty good quality. It's much easier now that I have no obligations in the group. I no longer need to show up 30 minutes before the regular meeting and handle all of the business. I can sleep in a bit more and be a bit more prepared. I do want to try harder in there, but I for sure need a break. I am coming up on two years and I was in two groups most of that time. Crazy to think about how much I have progressed now doing it. I hit 1,000 items for sale! What an awesome number to hit before I take a little vacation. I am just tearing though my listings it feels like. I actually enjoy listing the stuff a bit. I listed 20 items today in an hour and 15 minutes. That was a pretty solid amount of time for that many listings. The stuff I am selling is only getting better and better quality too. I am for sure listing way more value than $22 profit per item average right now. The trick will be able to sustain that longer through the year. I am going to give it my best though. I am going to easily hit my goal of $50,000 listed once I come back. I could seriously hit that in a week or two. Crazy to think how before it was hard for me to even list $5,000 worth of stuff and now I could do that in a week. I really want to hit $100,000 listed by Christmas time. That will be quite difficult because sales will start coming in heavily in quarter 4 and I will have to ship a lot, but I will see what I can do.

If you are having issues with allergies, then it might be worth trying out some licorice root powder and quercetin. Of course if you can find the root cause that helps a lot more, but this still work. Quercetin will especially help breathing quality in my experience and drop stuffiness. itching, etc.

If I could sell 17.4 items per day with a $22 net profit each I could make $100,000 per year just doing this. It would be hard for me to sell that many right off the bat, but I could at least try to aim to list that much per day. That is about 2 hours of listing. I would not include extra time that stuff gets listed from help either. I could just make a habit of even 20 items per day and that would not really be too bad. I think that would be obtainable for me. Even if I sold half of them by the end of the year and I got $50,000 that would be total game changer. I could do a lot with a bit more money in my pocket. I am going to do some testing, when it comes more into winter time this year. I want to see how many items I could get at the bins on a regular day of the week about an hour trip away from where I love. It would be possible for me to move just to somewhere where I could easily find 20 items a day like that. I could even try to rent a hotel somewhere and do it, but that sounds expensive. I am still going to play around and see what I can do here too. It looks like the one guy still has the DVDs in bulk, so I might be able to keep a similar deal to last time. That would help me get closer to hitting my goal. I would profit about $15-$20 just keeping it at my one guys store not having to think about it, when they sell. I can keep working on some other connections to sell in bulk or place in stores. Even if I could manage just a couple sales of these boxes a week it would help get me closer to that goal. I am not going to try to lose focus much, when I get back from the break. I am less worried now about taking a vacation. I feel like I really need one. I think if anything it will help energize me more. I am just worried about having the funding I need to really get all of the stuff I need during these few crucial months. I haven't been selling stuff cheap, so that slows down sales a good bit. I want to just list more stuff and try to not worry about that. I can gradually go down on prices in due time, but if anything my stuff will be worth 10-15% more in some cases once 4th quarter is here. I still feel fairly sick. I feel a good amount of fatigue and it is just hard for me to want to get up and really do a whole lot. I did manage to get the yoga in this morning and I am still on the ball a bit with other stuff. I only have a few more days of this until I am taking some time off, so it would not hurt for me to try to get whatever I can do for now at least. I might be better off trying to list more if anything I suppose. Once I am back into the groove I am going to work on life purpose work again too. I think a few weeks off of listening to Leo and all of that stuff would be good. I am planning to read though, but I would like to do that while I am taking some time off. I am going to keep myself off of the internet as much as possible too. I am not going to check the forum for a few weeks, facebook, etc. I will need to monitor ebay sales while I am gone a bit, but I am going to limit that as much as I can.

This one is best to cycle in my opinion. The effects wear down too quickly if I use it often. I go for about once a week. I do a bit larger of a dose and focus it towards a long mediation session. You might find it different for yourself though. As for it's effect with others I don't know. I have personally considered it before tripping due to the fact it relaxes you and puts you in a meditative state easily.

I notice I am starting to gravitate a bit more to my higher self. I felt less compelled to play a game today even though I loaded it up. I just turned it off and went to reading. I also got myself to do some more mediation. I think I hit some ego backlash with mediation from doing the floating. For whatever reason I had been doing 1 hour a day for the last couple years and I just hit down to 25 minutes and struggled a bit with even that. I don't think the time really matters all that much. It does have a really drastic effect on my mind if I have a good session though. If I can even get myself to do a bit more here and there while I am working it would really help me. I guess on the same topic with the ego backlash I had hit some with exercise too for a long time. I jogged thousands of miles in the last couple years I imagine. Now it just doesn't really seem as interesting. However, it is more of something I would have to force myself to do. I don't really feel the enjoyment for it that I use to. I enjoy listening to the same stuff I use to on the runs though. I think my main thing with running is that it is hard for me to just sit down and watch a couple hour video sometimes. So I can have it playing while I go out for a run. A nice run is still enjoyable for sure, but not something I need. I am struggling a little being consistent in other exercises a bit too. I can give myself some slack right now with being sick though. I am for sure going through some sickness. I slept about 10 hours today and it really helped me. I don't think I give myself enough self-love, when it comes to things like this. I have felt sick for a bit now and I just keep working like normal even though I am struggling. I guess I do that fairly often with my health in general. It's hard for me to just let go of the momentum that I am building up. I think taking a few weeks off is really going to be good for me. I can already see how much of a relief this will be. I am planning on reading a good amount while I am out on the trip though. I think that will be really fun. I will have some time to explore a bit too. There is really interesting connection with safety and growth. The mind either goes to one thing or the other. I can see with myself I have a hard time getting stuck in safety with things. I think everyone does though. Until they are able to make the growth a more rewarding or less scary thing. I can tell with myself I have been living here out of my need for safety. It is hard out there for sure, but if I had more money to back me up it would not be the case. I have a fear of working long hours for little pay to survive. I just need to keep steeping my game up and be consistent. I think this business will provide me what I need.

There is going to be a ever growing disconnect between the two of you if only one is self-actualizing. The motivations and quality of life is drastically different between the two. One will be stuck trying to fill lower needs, while the other is trying to bring the other one up to their level. You value integrity, but you have to ago against that value to explore your own growth more. To me it sounds like this is more of an anchor to you. If you want to continue this with him, then exploring more authentic and open communication is going to be key. Being in a relationship and hiding stuff for personal growth sounds dysfunctional. You are going to want to also determine how much you value your personal growth vs this relationship if it is holding you back.

I am working on not being a victim with this and taking action. I have been listing myself now more and I almost hit 35k listed! My goal is to have 50k in September and I know I can do it. I am doing really well at this rate adding new stuff. I actually enjoy listing the products. I can just listen to youtube videos and work. I know I was bummed the other day, but looking at my stats I am actually up 60% in sales from this time last year. That is surprisingly good. It does not quite feel like it with how much I have been spending on inventory, but that is okay. I have a ton of back stock right now. I almost filled up all of the 12 large storage bins I just added. I will easily have them all maxed this week. I will need another 8 for sure next time I am able to get them at costco. I am actually starting to get to where I might need to upgrade to a storage unit, or start adding some storage tubs into the garage. I could probably fit another 12-16 tubs there. That would be insane if I had that much product. I feel a bit of slow down in how much stuff I am finding right now though. I need to maybe change some of my tactics. I am going to work on not playing video games as much. I got a lot of my fill this year for sure. I want to focus more on playing the best games, when I do or playing with friends and family. Not as much just playing them alone. I want to get more in focus with working on stuff like life purpose and reading on the weekend. It is strange how it works, but reading is much more satisfying than games, but harder to pick up and do it. My exercise hasn't been as great either, so I need to keep up with everything a bit more. I am ready to start ramping up my yoga more now that I have worked on techniques to keep my wrists together. It seems I have caught some weird stomach virus from my family. I guess they had the symptoms I have been having for about a month. Seems kind of excessive, but it has not been too big of a deal. I get some fatigue and bloating from it. I thought it was maybe my stomach issues coming back, but I don't think that is the case. Hopefully, it will go away in the near future.

It seems like I work so hard and I don't really have that much income. I mean the more I think about my time spent it seems like I waste a lot of time. I am still on the grind a lot and really building a business. I mean I don't really expect the results to come easy, but I have seen other people who have done this same kind of business in the same period and have it 10 larger than what I have. The area I am in makes a massive difference though too. That is quite a bottle neck on what I am able to do for sure. A good part of that though is my consistency with it too. It seems so difficult to make a decent income. I mean if I could even do $40k a year in profit that would be a massive game changer for me. I know I need to buckle down and keep consistent. It eats at me a bit though. It just seems like I could be having a lot more progress. I know I did get distracted a lot with life purpose stuff, toastmasters, and just all sorts of other stuff to improve myself. I play video games more though now. I quit for a year, but even then it does not take that much time out realistically. Even if I played one hour a day, and it took out 365 hours in a year there is still so much unaccounted for. Yesterday was the first time in a while I felt hard on myself. I got so upset over the fact that I have hardly any money right now. I could have cashed out more investments, when they were up and had thousands more laying around. I didn't lose any money or anything technically since it was just profit I guess. I had the most cash I had in months awhile ago. I just have not had any decent consistent income. I have been trying so damn hard to get my lister to list things for me. I have probably at least 100+ items that are not listed. I am doing it myself now with it and just going to leave the less profitable stuff to them. I spent thousands on my car in preventative maintenance and repairs and now it needs even more. I bought a new battery for it today, but it probably needs like $400-$500 worth of work in the near future. I didn't really waste all of the money I had. I tried to use it as strategically as I could. I have probably dumped at least $2,000 into inventory in the last month or two. Now it seems like I am just down to hardly anything. It's just disheartening that I am having a hard time making money and my expenses are not super high. I still pay decent rent and stuff, but it still sucks. I know this time of year is generally not that great for sales either too. I need to make some massive changes. If I have to work all day to make a living then I will. I am tired of being fucking broke. If I have to change my mindset, myself, or whatever it takes I am going to do it. I am at least optimistic moving forward. If I can pull through slower summer sales and work hard I bet I could really kill it this holiday season. I know if I just keep a powerful routine going that I will get there. I can do a lot more than I have ever done in the past it feels like. I am not getting gassed out easily. I worked at least 6 solid hours today and I am going to get a little more in. I am starting to list stuff, when I get a bit fatigued of the manual work. It seems like a good split between the two. I have been putting together some research on healing trauma. I think this is a good thing for me to keep focused on. Self-esteem seems to be a key pillar here to work on to help with it as well. I had found some stuff about yin and yang integration that seems to be a very important part to work on. I have been reading the 6 pillars of self esteem. I am planning on doing all of the practices and hopefully that can help me heal some as a start. I think integrating feminine is important as well. I would like to trip in the next few months possibly too. I would like to try tripping while doing the forgiveness video from leo. I think the more I can forgive will make a huge difference. I notice I still have a fair amount of resentment towards my dad. Still more research and thinking to go from here.

For about the last year I have smelled a bit of gas while the car first starts up. I had a lot of gas related stuff fixed. Today, I was out driving and had a lot of power issues. I looked up all of the symptoms and it seems that my injectors are leaking. Since it was super hot today 110+ degrees it allowed me to figure it out lol. Since the gas likely was no longer is liquid state as much it just leaked a lot and had issues. That will probably set me back another $400-$500, but it will be worth it. I guess my bit of mechanical knowledge is doing me some good. I am still a little uneasy with leaving the reselling thing for awhile. I guess I am just afraid of missing out on potential profits. I've really steeped up my standards lately. I have been really increasing how much I spend on the business and it leaves me needing to make much more. I am working on building out a few streams of income with it. I got my one guy who has a store to work a deal with me on having my products in there too and going 50/50 after I get my costs back. I am going to work on getting my bulk DVDs back and just leave them there for them to deal with. I think this will be critical in helping me build a better income. It works for storage on them too. Even if I made an a couple hundred extra month with bulk stuff it would be a total game changer. I felt quite uneasy today it seemed like. More irritable, fatigue, etc. I am assuming it is from having lemon. I thought that I might have an issue with that in the past and now I think I can confirm it. It was just with some tea, so not even really that much as it was already within the tea itself. I am going to try the same type of tea without lemon added to it and see if this happens again. So far it seems like some of the high fodmap stuff is just a problem too. Lemon is not high fodmap, so that is weird. I still have a lot more testing and playing to do. I have noticed especially lately that I don't really feel that itch to have a relationship at all. I am so much more focused on my business and my own personal development. Granted, I don't really meet a whole lot of girls either, so it makes it bit easier. The ones at goodwill aren't usually what I am looking for haha. Although, if a girl could thrift well that would be a plus. I feel very content in terms of where I am relationship wise right now. I enjoy not having any of the longing for a relationship. When the time comes I think I will be much more level headed and selective.

That was by far the best run of a garage sale event that I have ever went to yesterday. I did over 50 sales and it did take a lot of the day. I was out from 8am to almost 5pm. I spent $300 and came back with over $5,000 worth of inventory. It's hard to believe the stuff that a lot of people just walked by all day. I didn't even show up to this early and did my best to be mindful and slow throughout the day. Of course even with this really good haul I still manage to guilt myself over some items that I left behind. There was some parts to some sort of BMW parts laying in a box that I did not grab because I had ran out of cash. I didn't go back once I went to the atm and I really should have. It kind of looked like there were lawn mower parts, but BMW does not make those. That sale was selling stuff cheap. They sold a pair of $1,000+ pair of speakers for $40 to someone else there. So I probably could have snagged that box for $10. I don't really know what it would be worth. Hundreds at least I would guess just from the branding, but I need to let it go. Otherwise, I really killed it. It was hard to believe how many times I spent $5 and was getting items worth $200 or more! I found one subwoofer for $5 that I think I can get about $800 for. I found some Boeing 727 manuals that I think I can try to get upwards of $600 or so for. I paid about $5 for those. I notice it has been hard for me to relax as much. I am so much into the hustle lately with my work. I am taking a few weeks off during my prime time to get items. Not the best idea, but I am going to do it. It will probably be good for me to do it. I think that I could come back really refreshed and hitting it hard. I feel like I need to detox my mind a bit from reselling though in general. It's very consuming of my mind and it would be good to let off of that for a bit. I want to get my reading back up to par. It has just been hard with how much I have been working. I spend so much time cooking as well. By the time I come to my room I am usually tired and just get sucked into looking at the pc. I did set some site blocking and now a timer for facebook too. Facebook is really good at stealing some time. It is amazingly useful for my business. I would not have known about that sale yesterday, but I think I need to set the limit to like 20-25 mins. It's easy to get distracted looking around on there. I need to make sure that I am allocating more time to relax, meditate, and read. I have been doing really good with the yoga. I feel really good doing the yoga almost daily. I have been doing one that strengthens my wrists right now and most of my wrist pain is now gone. It also has been giving me proper ways to do stuff like downward dog with my wrists that were actually hurting them before instead. I think if I just got the reading part in more I would be a lot more happy with that. I feel like when I am reading more I advance a lot as a person.

Compound interest is really powerful. Most people are just looking mindlessly for the next thing to get rich. If you are disciplined and continually add money in a tax advantaged account it is very powerful for your later years. https://www.investor.gov/financial-tools-calculators/calculators/compound-interest-calculator For me I am not super wealthy or anything. My income is pretty weak at the moment. However, at the start of the pandemic I was able to scrounge up a couple thousand bucks to invest into the stock market in a roth ira. I managed to more than double that money. I am spreading it out into large index funds and solid vetted investments. So for me I am 25 years old. I plan to invest for at least 40 years, but the taxes will come at 59 1/2. Let's say I am only able to contribute $60 a month, which is really on the low side. I have a base amount of about $6,000 invested now. So if I get between 8-12% interest a year on that I will have $316,000 to 1,100,000 at age 65 depending on my interest rate. Of course I want to contribute more than that, but that is super powerful. That is literally only $720 per year for 40 years. $60 is what people spend on their phone bill usually. If I can up that to $300+ in the near future it will have a dramatic difference. Taxes towards the end will take off a good bit more though too. However, most of that will be made tax free. Of course it might not pan out either. Basically, I would be risking $28,800 (not including base amount) to potentially 10x or more. It's something you cannot ignore, but I would not recommend sucking all of your time into it. Read several good books on the topic. Set up the accounts to get started. Then add funding monthly and check on the portfolio each quarter.

I've encountered some work environments like that. Most of those people are pretty full of themselves. I would not take it too personally. I am sure there is some improvements that you could make though too. Unusually, these type people exhibit a lot of the expert stage if you are familiar with the 9 stages of ego development. Still you can find some truth to work on here. I am not very good at all at these types of positions. It sounds like something that you are aware of as well. You need to find something that matches your top strengths. If you keep messing around with this kind of hands on type work it probably isn't going to go well for you. I learned this lesson with a lot of time and error. I did some mechanics in college, as a hobby, etc. I would always have similar people to who you are talking about put me down for my skill or knowledge about cars. Even if I was not in a professional environment for it. However, I experienced a similar thing even just working at a oil shop. Even working there I knew I was excellent at customer service and messing with the cars was my weak point, but they had me work on the cars. Now I have reach a point where I don't even want to do my own oil changes and I have done some fairly complicated repairs and restoration. It is my zone of incompetence and I also hate working on cars lol. You are more than capable of making a living wage, but it is going to have to take you trying to new ways to go about doing it. You can change yourself and develop yourself too, which will help you go at things from a different angle. For example you mentioned the ADHD being a problem. You could work on solving that issue if it is being a burden and that alone could change everything for you. You could read some books about money and find new ways and techniques that you had not though of before as well.

Alright, I am starting to take action and listing items myself. I am not going to wait around on people or lose money simply from one kink in the line. I am debating on trying to get a VA to help me list sometime soon. I think that would really help me get some stuff flowing. It isn't too bad doing it myself though either, but I only have so much time to do everything. I am just going to mostly be listing the cream of the crop items though. Pile up the rest, so if I get help they can do those. I have a massive pile of stuff ready to picture. I am literally out of space until I get more storage tubs! I am thinking about getting more than 12 and start really maxing this out. 12 will help a lot for now, but I am finding so much stuff it is hard to keep up. I have never had the business expand this fast. I am starting to get a grip on what I am doing though now. It is strange how fast I am starting to drop the intense thoughts from OCD. That is the best way I can explain that. It's like my brain hits these states of deep thought into something and drops awareness of what is around me. That and while doing something like hand washing, petting, etc. I notice it is just kind of going away. Easier said than done though originally. I would not have done it in the first place if I could have just stopped easily. It's been fairly easy to stop. I notice some things that trigger it still, but it is very minor. I have made massive progress on this over the years. It use to be a lot worse. I have had times where this kind of stuff was seriously effecting my life. I am excited to see how mushrooms will effect me with this moving forward as it helped a lot last time. I feel a lot better through the day. I actually do feel a fair sense of relief from one of the people I had apologized to. Not really sure, but it did lift some weight off my shoulders. I don't feel guilty anymore about that. That situations was probably one of the more fucked up things that I have done. Given my age and my up bringing it wasn't something crazy or unheard of. I am glad that the person was receptive to the apology. I had poked around a bit on their facebook and it their mom had died within the last year, which I imagine was pretty rough on them. The whole thing was a solid lesson. Just on how to value life and how you use your time. It made me reflect more on doing the things that I want in life.

Got a massive deal on some new inventory today. It really pays off to be consistent. I know this week I was not really feeling it much since it was a lot of crappy items at the start of the week. I definitely need to get some more stuff selling though. I did manage to pay off the $475 return so far with my sales lol. I have to expand my storage space with more tubs asap. I have so many items coming in that I cannot hold all of them right now. I am trying to be a bit more picky too. I wasted a bit of money here and there on crap. I did actually see the other girl again and she is much more attractive than I thought. I still just gave her a nod and a smile. It's intriguing for sure. I feel like hopping into any sort of relationship right now would be me taking my eye off the prize. I am doing so much inner work and making a lot of progress. I am finally starting to get my business to make me some decent money as well. There is so much to improve and do with myself. I feel like I could sucker myself into something that just deters me. It's not really that I sit around feeling any need for a girlfriend or something. More of the fact that I am just attracted and interested. It's hard to be rational about that feeling. One one hand I really would like to talk to this girl and take her out. More of a instinctual urge if you will. On the other I likely know that I am just getting sucked into something I probably don't really need right now. Sure, it could be the best thing for me. I just haven't had that experience as such. My brain would most likely just give me a big dump of euphoric chemicals for a few months and have me chasing this instead. It also isn't like this is some sort of limited resource. I don't really have enough girls I regularly talk to and meet to pick the best one either. It would be relatively easy for someone to out do my ex, so I find it could make me settle for less. I feel like my amount of attritive qualities is only rising. I am still getting my life together though for sure. I have some shit that I am still stuck on, but I am getting there. It's kind of like holding onto a rising stock that you know is going to be worth more in the future. If I sell out now I could be losing a lot of the potential on it.

Alright, I reached out to people whom an apology was due. I feel a bit of relief from that. Hopefully, there is some correspondence, but even if not I tried. I am sure there is a lot of things that I could find that I did wrong and make them right. I think in terms of what I can realistically do and stuff that had brought me some guilt is now corrected. I've grown so massively that the person who did those things is not even recognizable as me at this point. I want to continue making better and better decisions moving forward.

Going to keep working on my integrity more deeply. I think it is something vital to having a good life. I am working on making things right and apologizing for things I did in the past to people. I only have couple things I can think of where I really deeply wronged someone. They are pretty superficial, but even then I think this will be good to remove any possible lingering guilt. In one case I am going to try to send a guy $25 because I ended up keeping a game account I sold him. Of course it was wrong, but that is what I did at the time. It's been over a decade for these things. I still think owning up to them is important. Who knows to that guy could maybe need that money now. I do need to pick up more on my exercise and be more disciplined with my wake up time. It seems like I can always sleep in a bit and I waste a good bit of time on that. If I get up earlier it makes it easier to workout and not be in any sort of a rush. I am not really too rushed, but it still helps space stuff out for me. If I want to reach my goals I probably need to start listing more items myself. Or I can look into hiring someone else to do some listing for me. I am not sure yet, but it will really make a change. I cannot rely on things that are out of my control. For now I need to at least do batches of all of the best items. I need to list those myself to really help keep cash coming in to get more items. I looked in my shed too and I could try to max it out with 5 storage containers high. If I did that I could fit about another 10 more containers than expected. The shed will be at the absolute max though for sure lol. I want to be able to hit that kind of size for my inventory in the near feature. It is going really well working on stuff related to OCD. I have already done a lot of work towards unraveling this stuff. I am trying to focus on one thing at a time and this is it right now. I have a backlog of practices to work on. I keep notes in books to do the exercises, but I read the books faster than I can do them. I want to practice being more funny as well. I have some stuff from Leo's video on it to do, but that is on the back burner for now too. I just want to nail this piece down because it will help me much more.

I had a lady initially accuse me of not describing my item well, then she said it was her fault once I said I would take the return either way. It's strange how things work like that. She actually gave me really good feedback after that. No doubt I do similar stuff though in a sense. The mind always want to frame things to get my way. So when someone wants to return something or whatever it falls back onto me. Of course I want to find some way to pin the blame or get more money out of it to make up for all of the money I lost from them sending stuff back. Most returns all bullshit though no doubt. I mean in this case the lady could have just said she changed her mind and I have to take the return lol. The policy I have set just lets them return for whatever reason. Which that benefits me by having that. It would not matter if I set it otherwise it would actually be more harmful to me. Still even with that policy most of the people sending stuff back just lie about why it is coming back. I thought I found a really good item, but it is broken lol. So that kind of sucks. I have a return open for a $475 item as well, which sucks as well. In this case the buyer just wants to send it back pretty much as well. Item has some oil on it, but I showed them on the manufactures site that is normal to happen in shipping. Is what it is. I noticed with that item it was in a bit lesser condition before sending it. Had nothing to do with the oil, but a leg on the item was bent. You couldn't actually tell unless you flipped the heavy item over, which I had to do to ship it. It doesn't actually effect it structurally though. I would have got some less money though with showing that I imagine. It's a tough call of what to do with something like that. In this case the buyer was ready to just return this no matter what pretty much. The pictures did actually show some damage to the item, but I myself didn't even notice it holding the item. So hard to say. I think in this case my mind of course wants to side more with justifying that. It's hard survival wise to just risk $475, so the mind of course has a hard time with it lol. I am always trying to improve my listings though. I don't want them sneaky or deceptive. That isn't how I want to do it. Something to be more mindful with going forward. I am working on trying to be consistent with my listing and how I am getting stuff. I feel like the thrifts have been ultra dry right now. Even though I am pretty packed to the brim with stuff lol. I am still going daily and really being consistent. I am still thinking about going out of town sometime in july more for strictly sourcing items 5 days per week for at least a or week two. I really want to max out the potential earnings for this season. I feel like I should be earning a lot more in the future. We will see. I It will be nice once it hits closer to winter and I can start explore a bit more with other passions. I notice I am really into psychology stuff. I am really interested in human development. It's genuinely fascinating to me how human minds evolve. Maybe there is something there with this since I do notice I really want to read more deeply on this kind of stuff. I think with reading in general I want to explore a lot more books. I usually only slip in about an hour a day though. Sometimes it is tough with stuff going though.