seeking_brilliance

Marijuana puts you in touch with your subconscious by producing strong theta waves while still awake. It is amazing for shadow work. But gets addictive when using it for fun or for chasing the feeling of being high. So be careful and try to only use it ceremoniously.

September 26 2019 Time :15 minutes Object of attention : box fan I've really got to start waking up earlier.... Anyway I do think I held my attention on fan for a good portion. Had a dreamlet about showing someone around London. Thought about work a little bit.

September 25 2019 Time :15 minutes Object of attention :box fan Not much time to prepare for this one so went back to box fan. Very groggy so lots of images and a few dreamlets. Lots of returning attention back to fan. Didn't really feel like much of meditation but don't have time to restart.

Your experiences are awesome! We are alot alike with these experiences. And that shoulder rub sounds amazing hahaha

September 23rd 2019 Time :15 minutes Object of attention : rain on tin roof video on youtube I think I like the rain sound because the randomized sound patterns seem to be easier to hold my attention. Definitely wasnt perfect though lol. Had a practically full color dreamlet of me, my mom, and my husband walking down an old country road with fenced in fields on both sides. We seem to be trying to sober Micheal up a bit, and on the right there was a road which led to a row of cabins. My mom pointed them out and we walked closer and Micheal wanted to go see them. Otherwise I do think the rain sounds is holding my attention better. The journey continues ?

they have nails that crack concrete? I didn't know that

When you dream at night, even if you become lucid, at which point did you choose the scenery? or the objects and people populating the dream? Or the actions taking place? And these are YOUR (shaun's) dreams. So why would you think that shaun would have any input on this waking reality lol.

September 21 2019 Time : 15 minutes Concentration object : box fan Little groggy, but was able to hold attention on fan for longer periods of time... Maybe 7-10 seconds at a time. Saw lots of images, one was an Australian Sheppard. He was cute.

September 20 2019 Time : 15 minutes Object of attention : box fan Lost in thought the whole time. The king kong lady was yelling something at me from his giant hand. It's too bad I don't have enough time before work to attempt this again because I'm not satisfied. I might have to try and do a session after work as well, not including my concentration practice before bed.

Thought you would like this:

September 18 2019 Time :15 minutes Concentration object : box fan About as usual.

September 17 2019 Time : 15 minutes Object of attention : box fan Probably a bit too sleepy for a good session this morning, coming off of 6.5 - 7 hours of sleep. The dreamlets came in hard and split second quick, to the point of almost dozing off to them, so no interesting ones to report. Typically they are superimposed onto my meditation practice, and I never really feel like I'm dozing off to them.. My timer anxiety is all but gone. Constant redirecting back to the fan, but definitely not much focused attention.

Just to be clear, I was not saying that all channeling is ego. I said all channeling is yourself. If you want a taste of infinity, explore your imagination.

at the same time, its all within. All the answers to the universe can be found within, inside of imagination. The universe IS imagination so where else would you go for answers? Take everything with a grain of salt, but don't give these experiences less value either, just because its coming from imagination.

Maybe you could say that omniscience= knowing thyself. What better way to know yourself than to create trillions upon trillions of yourselves throughout 'all space and time ', and have them do the work for you? You have a special role in the omniscience of God.

you are only channeling yourself. the trick is not to give it too much importance, and to not take any importance away from it.

I promise I am not trying to do this every other day, but things keep arising. Things will settle back down to normal, as this is only the second week after getting home. My husband has completely exploded into being outgoing so I'm trying to support that- hence why I was out til 2 am last night and had to open this morning. But anyway, I still pledge to meditate everyday, even if it doesn't happen everyday. (my official meditation reports, I'm still doing my 15 minute concentrations at night)

HAHA so true... well I'm still working on the second part...

@mandyjw (ignore tag) Sept 16, 2019 Time: 15 minutes Object of attention : box fan Husband wanted to go for a walk in the park upon awakening, so meditated after. Mind chatter was slower, and not all over the place. 75% of it was commentary on how the meditating is going and how I would describe it in here. But constant redirecting attention back to fan. My eyes did several focuses between relaxed and focused, I just let them do their thing but kept the muscles around them relaxed. No dreamlets today because I guess it was later and not still producing Theta waves.

@mandyjw just a quick post - trip observation. I was very naive to think this trip would 'fix' me. I expected (first problem) to return refreshed, unwound, and anxiety free. Well the reality is my mind was refreshed but my body in pure exhaustion. I had two days of rest before returning to work, and one of those I spent in bed because I felt ill. (exhaustion)... I succumbed to anxiety and anger at work and got really disappointed in myself and in the trip. I joked that I wish I had my money back. Huge ego backlash. Today was my last day of the week I'm finally seeing that I was basically asking for this huge change and no work. For free. But the trip was not supposed to do these things for me. That was never going to happen, and expecting it to is so laughable. I could only come back as the same person, relatively (because paradoxically I'm a different person by the second). What the trip accomplished for me was a refreshed mind, new perspective, and the energy to take on difficulties with more confidence. That's all I needed anyway. Sharpened tools to do the work more efficiently. Unfortunately the week of whining has masked these truths of the matter. I also have finally broken my habitual need to smoke at work, something I haven't been able to do for years. I suffered a huge nicotine attack yesterday that lasted for at least 2 hours. I was a bitch for sure but I didn't give in! No attack today although still dealing with other anxiety related issues.

@mandyjw ok I know what to do: I'll stick with the fan meditation for our official morning meditation which I report here on. At night I will do fifteen minutes concentration practice with an object. Obviously these will evolve over time. (story of life ?) I'll watch the video later, at work right now.

I would love to focus on the energy field that's a huge goal of mine. I was thinking of something different like holding an object and feeling the weight of it in my hands. May have to rub by fingers over it and just feel it. Attempts at feeling energy or focusing on breath has been difficult for me in the past so I thought maybe something more solid for now might hold my attention better. I own the illuminated mind book and want to try that again, but if I remember correctly it works with focusing on breath or the feeling of air on the nose something like that. A goal of mine will be to start that book over but I really want to increase my concentration skills a bit first. I'd that reasonable or am I overthinking it?

Sept 14 2019 Time: 15 minutes Concentration object : box fan Did feel a bit calmer in thought this morning. Still constant mind chatter but wasn't too excessive. No whacky dreamlets except for one of this African American lady handing me some kind of information flyer. Did kind of start to nod off right before the timer went off, but I am proud that my timer obsession has subsided greatly over the past few weeks. Thinking about trying a new concentration object, maybe something more tactile, because the auditory one just seems to go in one ear and out the other while I'm still lost in thought.

Maybe you are wanting to connect with a certain deity that you would like to call God. But I don't know what the vibrations would be. Maybe check out a spiritual group on Facebook

@mandyjw and only Mandy.... You can respond on here and we'll leave the guidance thread alone until I have a specific need, that alright?