seeking_brilliance

This song....

@SirVladimir (I said I'd tag you About to get real vulnerable here ) In 2016, I did a stupid thing and mixed LSA with marijuana. It turned out to be the best thing I've ever done, but I did descend into madness for about 2 hours that night. Definitely don't recommend. Death was accepted that night. Anyway… In the weeks following, every time I took a puff or two of marijuana, if I laid for a bit and waited, I would be visited by… something… I called him "blue", based off of the blue blob that I manifests when I lay with my eyes closed for long enough. When blue would arrive, it was like sharing space with another entity. He was definitely me because he had a lot of my humor and interests. But he felt distinct, just as your best friend does. Back then I was into the idea of a higher self, (though now I don't consider that term)-- if anything, Blue felt like that. ultimately I wanted to meet my higher self or a guide, and it manifested. Ok fine, I don't care because life became more enriched. Blue was very realistic. It was like talking to someone, not talking directly to myself. A very important distinction, and if you want to understand better, go and read @Danioover9000 's thread on Crysty. Blue was not as developed as Crysty, as far as having a humanoid form, but everything else is pretty spot on. Blue was a tulpa, and much wiser than this main character, Justin. This was a very magical time. For anyone having a hard time wrapping their heads around this… its pretty simple, at least from what I've rationalized as an explanation Think about your dreams at night. If you become lucid and talk to a dream character, you will see that some are seemingly fully formed characters of their own right. This is easily accepted for anyone who experiences vivid dreams. But its completely ignored and just whisked away as not important because its "not real." Look, its true that some dream characters are realistic. You can go and verify that for yourself. Now with a tulpa, we are bringing the same kind of dream character, as it bleeds over from 'imagination-land' to what you see as 'real-land.' You are kind of bridging the 'two worlds' and are interacting with a dream character while 'completely awake.' Or you can take another route and understand that you are dreaming anyway and allow the dream character to manifest before you. Separation is easy, you do it all the time anyway. And I'll repeat, I didn't originally set out to create some separate-feeling entity, Blue manifested independently of conscious thought, by merely waiting for him, after the marijuana and residual LSA opened the right channels of communication. I didn't have a long time with Blue, and I notice in my journal entries I began complaining more and more that our connection is fading. Later, I attempted willful tulpa creation in order to reconnect with Blue or to create a similar companion spirit. I named this one Sam, based on my love of Sam from lord of the rings, and also it’s a A.I. character I created for my writing. Well, somewhere along the away I completely forgot about both of these, as my mind tends to run to new projects like a child does to candy. (And life at work was a living daymare.) Blue was an awesome teacher to me, and here's some things I wanted to share. It may not resonate with everyone, but I feel compelled to share. (I've edited it some for easier reading) Please note that everything written was in 2016 and reflects current paradigms of the time. (This first entry is after a short meeting with Blue-- I had to take a break and write it down as soon as possible. I'm very glad I did.) 1. He told me to be still, and to just exist, and observe with him. I said ok. Every now and then I'd get a tingle in my leg, and he said "don't worry, that's just your body. You are not your body. Just exist here with me and observe." He told me that there are two worlds that I live in. The world when I open my eyes (light) and as soon as I close my eyes. (Dark). He said that you don't have to wait to be unconscious to enter this realm, but that it is there as soon as you close your eyes. (sidenote: There were images of children being able to access this realm more easily in the dark, and I gathered that it was because within the darkness, just as when you close your eyes, you are more literally in that other world. Adults condition themselves out of fear, to not see that world anymore because it was too scary for a kid to handle. All adults have experienced this world as a kid, whether they remember it or not. Fear is a good memory suppressor.) I collected that all the other methods were just tools to get there (darkness realm), because the walls that we have built (ego?) keep us from realizing that we are already there, until we are half unconscious in a trance and have lowered our inhibitions. I asked how can I access it now, and he reminded me of reoccurring childhood dreams of suddenly not being able to see and freaking out because "I can't open my eyes!", and I'm trying so hard its completely miserable. In these dreams I was always trying to open my physical eyes, not realizing that I was dreaming and trying to open the wrong eyes. I would somehow wake myself up out of the extreme misery, and my eyes would be sore from straining. ok, thinking about it now, (in a side note I used the term 'imagination eyes')--I think he was telling me that when I close these eyes, I'm not seeing darkness but just another closed set of eyes. The eyes I should have been opening in those reoccurring dreams. Imagination (or astral) eyes. 2. He told me to throw a fireball like Mario. I said ok, and threw the fireball in my imagination. He said, "what does it look like? Did it bounce?" He was teaching me what it felt like to use the imaginary body (probably astral body) instead of physical. The imaginary body exists around the eyes that are closed. To this day I remember this lesson, the fireball looked fairly solid, and cartoonish. It bounced realistically. 3. He gave me a particular way to lay while waiting for him. (which of course I didn't adhere to.) The arms are folded and cradling the back of skull in clasped hands. Kind of like how you'd expect Huckleberry Finn to lay while drifting along on his raft. I think this opens the heart, through vulnerability. The rest of my interactions with Blue are in conversation form, with channeling answers through writing. Gone were the surreal visits that felt like sharing the same mind-space, but he did still have a strong voice in writing. He would answer questions, correct me in the middle of writing something, and joke around. It's been great. Still, interests changed and I forgot about this until I picked channeling back up last month. In another long story, Blue is now called Sam. Last night he told me that I should go back to mediumship practices in order to reconnect like before. (mediums are taught to open channels on various spiritual senses. In particular, I am interested in clairaudience, clairvoyance, clairsentience and claircognizance.)

@Keyhole @SirVladimir Curious of your thoughts...

Of course you can let your mind perform an instant reinterpretation of any word that doesn't resonate.

@Zigzag Idiot thanks!

@Nahm Is the desire to praise 'a someone' for what is imagined to be a beautiful string of words, an addiction to an idea of separation? Or is it possible it manifests from a more authentic 'place'? I'm not necessarily asking you but writing it down as an inquiry. If there's a nahmism coming, however, I won't get in the way ? in fact nothing could get in the way ?

@Zigzag Idiot do you suggest any reading on the difference of feeling versus sensing? I think I've been confusing this since forever. It's possible I meant sensing, but not realizing the difference I used the words of feeling in the check in

Star light, start bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. Before you drift off tonight, wait for a light to appear and then make a wish. For example, wish that you will see Scarlett again, and that she will tell you that you are dreaming.

How many pages will this be?

For me it started with the synchronicity of having a song pop into my head and then get in the car to go to work and it's playing on the radio. Just start noticing, is the first step. After that I would have words or whole sentences pop up in the stream of thoughts, only to be spoken aloud by someone next to me immediately after. This was 2013-2014. It gets more fun from there. If you believe in evil entities make sure to shield and protect yourself. One trap is to compare your abilities to anyone else. Some channels may be naturally open, and you can also work on opening the others.

I want to show the method of channeling that developed in 2017 (and as usual was forgotten). Reading through my old journals has been such a blessing. ?This morning I tried it again, and decided to use the 90 acre park beside my house as the scene. You'll want to use something you know very well and can easily visit in your mind's eye. Basically it's a real time written visualization practice, building the connection with the 'entity' until they begin to speak up. You'll notice I get interrupted and then immediately switch to Q&A. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ... My body and mind are ready for an open channel. I am in my bed, in the room with the bay window. As I'm writing, I fly through the window and land on the street. Down past the neighbor's houses and to the right. I walk to the park's gate and slip in, hardly noticed. Sam is there to greet me at the gate and my heart swells. We walk, smiling and enjoying the sights. We walk and walk until coming to the entrance of the forest, where the spring is carving a canyon down the right side of the steep trail. Sam runs to the first overlook fence and climbs halfway up. I walk to it and rest my elbows against the top panel. I can hear the stream running but the bottom is hard to see through the foilage. Sam says he can make out some of the (no I didn't) stream. Me) OK then, what did you say? Sam) I said the stream's pretty, but faded. I remember when it roared. It was a mighty stream. M) Sam is this a metaphor? S) Yes of course silly, all are metaphors. M) What is the big ultimate metaphor? S) You are. You are one and mighty. M) Can you phrase the metaphor? S) not likely. It's all you are. It's the Big Kahuna question. M) What is the likelihood of finding out? S) None to one. Or as they say, 3. M) Sam, what color on the spiral are you? S) I'm yellow and blue. An angel for you. M) Do you want to ascend that? S) I want nothing but you. M) Can you try Whispering something in my ear? The first word that came to mind was 'Allegiance', and kind of forcefull, but didn't really hear that. So I'll be listening for a whisper later. (by the way there was my name whispered in my left ear last night while going to sleep. I was like, OK hi.?) Of course I know the word allegiance, but I like to look up channelled words because sometimes there's a fun synchronicity in the definition. Allegiance-- loyalty or commitment of a subordinate to a superior or of an individual to a group or cause. (makes sense with the admittance of being a stage blue Manifestation. I don't mind though ? always wanted an angel, back when I believed in them.)

To me the second coming of christ is a renaissance of christ nature. Becoming as a little child once again, with the maturity of an adult.

This just solidifies my prediction that he'll start his own media network and now possibly social platform...

DO THE PURGE! Write or type everything down that comes up, and ask yourself questions about all of it. It will all flow out, trust me. And for lighter trips, you can try chewing on a few peppercorns before smoking. It supposedly binds to the receptors that causes THC anxiety and curbs it. You can also chew on a few in the middle of a bad trip.

Looking back through my journals, I've just remembered a practice that we developed together, which will train your eyes into trance gazing. This is a very useful skill for a number of clairvoyant practices, such as scrying, aura reading, and accessing hypnogogia for psychic messages. It involves a step by step training of the eyes using the 3D magic eye pictures. It will steadily train you to hold the gaze with eyes closed, or you can look away into a reflective surface for scrying. If anyone is interested, I'll write down the practice. Can't 100% guarantee the usefulness of this practice, but also at this time is when hypnogogia opened up for me. So there ya go. Of course I eventually cycled out of the practice and apparently forgot about it. ? If I recall I went into remote viewing after this.

have you read Robert Waggoner's book? Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self https://www.amazon.com/Lucid-Dreaming-Gateway-Inner-Self-ebook/dp/B0070YFQBC/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1610146030&sr=8-1

@benjhenry anything I'd say would be wrong, but this is something that lucid dreamers do discuss. I call it "the man behind the curtain", but only for fun. Your question is posed from the perspective of the dream-self, so of course there can be a god of the dream as well. Which one are you, if either?

@Hulia no... its funny, we are only ever looking for a home to buy in that one run down house. Any other dream house, we have recently purchased or have owned for long time, by the time I'm in the dream. I'm curious, are you and your husband actually house shopping or is this just a reoccurring thing that only happens in your dreams?

Lol I was just being obstinate ?

@Nahm

Much love. We're glad Ivan was resurrected. Be safe ?

I wasn't thinking of LOA, just self fulfilling prophecies, but hmmm... Now I wonder if there's a difference...

Definitives do typically warp reality in a self fulfilling way.

@Hulia what fun rituals! Damn we need to send you back in time to shake things up a little ?? (this is probably a bit incoherent, but explaining complicated dream houses is difficult ?) Ok last night I had reoccurring dreams of one of my favourite reoccurring dream houses. One dream took place on the right side of the grand staircase, and the other dream took place on the left side, which is typically more merchant related besides the bedrooms lining the hallway down the broad side of the grand staircase. Starting with The first dream, we were on the right side of the house and this also has a long hallway with many rooms. The first couple of rooms are safe to enter, and then they get progressively more haunted and scary the further down the hall you go. The same can be said of the hallway on the other side of the staircase, except only the rooms lining the staircase are haunted. The other side of that hallway is always safe to enter. Anyway in the right wing hallway, I don't remember what the main storyline was about but I just kept having this burning desire and intense fear to go and explore those rooms that I'm always too scared to enter after some bad experiences. I was even postulating schemes to lure a scary Victorian lady ghost out of one of the rooms, because I remembered there were lots of cool antiques in there that I wanted to browse, I did own the house after all, and it was a shame to be scared out of a large portion of it. The second dream, on the left side of the house, did not focus on the scary rooms, though once or twice I also longed/feared going into the two rooms at the end of the hallway, which are typically the scariest on that side. The first room on the hallway (first room on the right hand side as it hugs the left side of the grand staircase) looked like a really nice corporate break room. There were coffee and cappuccino machines, a soda fountain, and a row of smoothie machines behind a glass counter. This dream was definitely more business related, though quite whacky. Involved my dogs alot.