seeking_brilliance

honestly it just is what it is. If there's mental masturbation, then that is what is. If the masturbation stops, then that's what is. The mental masturbation just comes and goes, like everything. If you appear to be focusing on the "I AM", then great, that's what is. But if not, that is ok too. Just be, and stop trying to do this and that.

@Matt8800 yes thank goodness

some would say the non-duality is actually expertly hidden, instead of it just being poorly communicated. You have to remember the bible was written for the people of the time, and in their current understanding and culture. And the nondualism is more implied, in teachings like "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", instead of banging the hebrews over the head with it, because they would have never accepted it. Hell, they didn't even accept the watered down version.

It's unfortunate that perhaps maybe just more of the most active members act this way, so it becomes the personality of the forum. But you can't generalize the entire forum this way. A lot of people make threads that never get a second glance, and I do think it should be the responsibility of the moderators to encourage posting and redirect those who may be off on their theorizing. But even the moderators are sometimes seemingly very judgemental, or cherry picking, even those who claim to be far along. Oh well, we're all human I guess.

Yes, I agree. I'm being too judgemental of the racing thoughts. Still trying to take control... How silly of me

@Leo Gura yeah... unfortunately..

It is very helpful. I'm beginning to see why a quiet mind is so crucial for self inquiry, because inquiry seems to be the simplest thing to 'do', but if the mind doesn't SHUT UP there is too much awareness on the story and not on awareness itself. In my awareness, there are endless trains of thoughts that won't shut the hell up and get out of the way. But I can't do anything about it but accept it. Oh well....

Yep. And an excellent time to learn to surrender, from the nightmarish hallucinations which typically accompany it. The last time I had this, I saw my husband reaching out for me with long, creepy tree-branches for fingers, presumably trying to strangle me. Unfortunately it scared me so much the mind put a wall up against paralysis and haven't experienced it since, even after I learned it can be used as a tool. ??

@Leo Gura yeah that's what I'm getting.... Seems like the most logical explanation once you see there's no doer, but it also falls apart. Any pointers? Where should I look to grasp this? I think right now it's mostly a belief that time is non linear, and maybe that's holding this back. I can explain the illusion of time by merely saying that time implies separation, and there is no separation. The big bang didn't happen billions of years ago, the Big Bang is-- now.... We are the big bang, therefore it is not something that happened, but something that IS. So in a sense I can grasp non linear time but it's still seems to be based on beliefs.

I don't know why sleep - paralysis is often times scary, but that's not even always true, and if you are good at it you can will the hallucination to be something pleasant. I've heard things like it's a fear test for astral projection. As far as I know it is not astral projection itself, but can lead to it, once you surrender to the fear or will it into a pleasant experience. The hallucinations stem from either dream imagery being super - imposed into 'reality', or the entire bedroom is dream imagery and you only think you have partially woken up.

Well, spiderman came and rescued me from a shootout, and then offered me a ride (on his back of course) to school, since I missed the bus. On the way we fought off a full scale nazi like invasion with airships, then arrived at school and ended up being in one of the same classes, which happened to be alchemy class. But no, I've never become a certain superhero although I have swung around on webs or flown like superman. And yes, lucid dreaming is perhaps the best recontextualizers for awakening, and it's absolutely free!

@Fairy what I can't unravel is, after seeing there is no one between the thoughts, where does the feeling of contolling them stem from? For example, it's easy to say that there's no thinker, thoughts arise just as they do, everything just happens exactly as it does and it's only an illusion that you are doing it. Ok and that's fine and all, but at the same time, thoughts seem very controllable. At any point you could have seen your fingers typing by themselves and stopped it. Or do they only stop by cause and effect, and there's merely an awareness of this? Cause and effect seems the best way to describe the order of things happening, minus a doer, but cause and effect needs time to occur, and time is an illusion. So is there really cause and effect, or does the mystery of happenings go deeper?

@FoxFoxFox Yes, ideally you fall asleep at the end while the affirmations are playing, but it does not have to happen this way. You can listen to this just sometime before bed, as long as you are actively trying to visualize the scenery, and multiple times a day helps too. You have to remember that dream incubation is never 100% effective, but the point is to influence the topic of the dreams you may have that night. Perhaps one of the most effective ways to do this, which I still need to verify myself, is waking up in the night and listening to this while falling back to sleep. Your hypnogogia imagery will begin to mimic the scenes which you are visualizing, and hypnogogia can sometimes lead straight into dreams. Try it out and at least give me suggestions on the quality.

@Jeff Zhang glad you liked it. She is the co-creator of liberationunleashed.com , a site which has a forum you can join and they will help point you to seeing past the illusion of a separate self.

@Marcell Kovacs so jealous .... well I guess I better get started then

@Marcell Kovacs I have a question... was it hard when you started the shamanic breathing? I've tried it a few times but can't even keep it up for a few minutes because my lungs are burning... seems like its a great workout for the lungs... but can't imagine doing it for prolonged periods of time.

The question is, could you ever control your body? Ok, I'll stop being annoying. (not that I have a choice...) I'm sure it is scary to experience the body moving on its own, if you are not ok with the idea that it does this anyway. I would say just surrender and let it happen, unless it starts harming yourself or others, which MOST likely won't happen.

Yep I like to do this. So weird to one minute be "me", then slip into someone else (micro-dream) , then back again. Really neat.

Memory is an illusion. There are thoughts of memory, which arise. Memory comes and goes, arises and falls, like any other thought. For what seems like 16 hours in a day, I remember (there is a memory of) being this person named Samuel, who goes about his life and does this and that. This memory appears to be accompanied by countless other memories, anywhere from what "happened" in the immediate past, all the way back to as far as Samuel can "remember". But looking at this in direct experience, there are not countless memories bundled together to form anything, there is only this memory, as it appears in thought. Just as the idea of self seems to appear in the very same Thought. Interestingly, there are a few hours in the night where there is experience of being a somewhat different kind of Sam, or something completely different altogether. And these experiences also appear as memory in the "16 hours" of "normal" Samdom. These times spent as someone other than "normal" Samuel, are labeled as dreams. In truth, as far as I've found, there is no separation between dreaming, and waking, (aka, normal Sam time). These are not separate experiences , but one unending experience. The separate experiences only appear as memory in thought. There is only the experiencing that is happening now, and for some reason (says thought) it appears to be an experience of Samuel, according to memory, or whatever.

*off the page bump

Yes thank you so much. My second point to the post was the programmable nature of thought, or is that just an illusion as well. But I'm sure its just an illusion. However it seems closer to truth than being the actual thinker of thoughts.

Who does this? If there is no thinker of thoughts, how does one give up anything? There are thoughts of giving up desire... so it seems. And a self only appears in thought... Is the point of your answering something like this not so much to tell 'us' what to do/not do, but more of programming thought by positive/negative input? Thought communicating with thought, so it seems? But can thoughts be influenced, or do they arise exactly as they do?

Memory is an illusion. There are thoughts of memory, which arise. Memory comes and goes, arises and falls, like any other thought. For what seems like 16 hours in a day, I remember (there is a memory of) being this person named Samuel, who goes about his life and does this and that. This memory appears to be accompanied by countless other memories, anywhere from what "happened" in the immediate past, all the way back to as far as Samuel can "remember". But looking at this in direct experience, there are not countless memories bundled together to form anything, there is only this memory, as it appears in thought. Just as the idea of self seems to appear in the very same Thought. Interestingly, there are a few hours in the night where there is experience of being a somewhat different kind of Sam, or something completely different altogether. And these experiences also appear as memory in the "16 hours" of "normal" Samdom. These times spent as someone other than "normal" Samuel, are labeled as dreams. In truth, as far as I've found, there is no separation between dreaming, and waking, (aka, normal Sam time). These are not separate experiences , but one unending experience. The separate experiences only appear as memory in thought. There is only the experiencing that is happening now, and for some reason (says thought) it appears to be an experience of Samuel, according to memory, or whatever.

Journal entry - 9-24-18 Practicing spiritual autolysis. I'm supposed to write down something I know to be true and then rewrite it until I have something that is true. Here's something I know to be true. I am unhappy with my body. So first of all, I don't know what I am, so how can I say I'm unhappy? Why would I be unhappy with my body? Because I don't like what I expect it to look like? Because I have ashamed of it since puberty when it got all wonky? I also don't know what a body is, so here's a truer statement : I (whatever that is) am unhappy (whatever that is) with my body (whatever that is). What is unhappy? What is happy? If I am not happy now, then how do I know it exists? I don't even know what existence is. So assuming I could know what I am to be unhappy about, why would I be so unhappy with my body? Because of what I think to be what others like to see? I don't even know what they see. I don't even know what I see about the body is true. Or as others see it. I don't even know what seeing is. I don't know what knowing is. I don't know what "is" is. I don't know... I don't... don't... .... There's no way to say it. I don't know if there even is something to say. I don't know what "is" means. Perhaps I could say "it is something that is everlasting". But I have to use the word "is" to describe what is is. Perhaps that is the answer. Is is. Put it together and you have Isis, the goddess of hope. But I don't know what a goddess is. I assume that phrase was pulled out of Samuel's construct, but I don't even know what a construct is. Or what a Samuel is I don't know what hope is. I don't know what anything is. I don't know what "is" is. ------- End of entry. Looks like I got really off track with breaking down my original statement, but it did go somewhere unexpected.