seeking_brilliance

September 21 2019 Time : 15 minutes Concentration object : box fan Little groggy, but was able to hold attention on fan for longer periods of time... Maybe 7-10 seconds at a time. Saw lots of images, one was an Australian Sheppard. He was cute.

September 20 2019 Time : 15 minutes Object of attention : box fan Lost in thought the whole time. The king kong lady was yelling something at me from his giant hand. It's too bad I don't have enough time before work to attempt this again because I'm not satisfied. I might have to try and do a session after work as well, not including my concentration practice before bed.

Thought you would like this:

September 18 2019 Time :15 minutes Concentration object : box fan About as usual.

September 17 2019 Time : 15 minutes Object of attention : box fan Probably a bit too sleepy for a good session this morning, coming off of 6.5 - 7 hours of sleep. The dreamlets came in hard and split second quick, to the point of almost dozing off to them, so no interesting ones to report. Typically they are superimposed onto my meditation practice, and I never really feel like I'm dozing off to them.. My timer anxiety is all but gone. Constant redirecting back to the fan, but definitely not much focused attention.

Just to be clear, I was not saying that all channeling is ego. I said all channeling is yourself. If you want a taste of infinity, explore your imagination.

at the same time, its all within. All the answers to the universe can be found within, inside of imagination. The universe IS imagination so where else would you go for answers? Take everything with a grain of salt, but don't give these experiences less value either, just because its coming from imagination.

Maybe you could say that omniscience= knowing thyself. What better way to know yourself than to create trillions upon trillions of yourselves throughout 'all space and time ', and have them do the work for you? You have a special role in the omniscience of God.

you are only channeling yourself. the trick is not to give it too much importance, and to not take any importance away from it.

I promise I am not trying to do this every other day, but things keep arising. Things will settle back down to normal, as this is only the second week after getting home. My husband has completely exploded into being outgoing so I'm trying to support that- hence why I was out til 2 am last night and had to open this morning. But anyway, I still pledge to meditate everyday, even if it doesn't happen everyday. (my official meditation reports, I'm still doing my 15 minute concentrations at night)

HAHA so true... well I'm still working on the second part...

@mandyjw (ignore tag) Sept 16, 2019 Time: 15 minutes Object of attention : box fan Husband wanted to go for a walk in the park upon awakening, so meditated after. Mind chatter was slower, and not all over the place. 75% of it was commentary on how the meditating is going and how I would describe it in here. But constant redirecting attention back to fan. My eyes did several focuses between relaxed and focused, I just let them do their thing but kept the muscles around them relaxed. No dreamlets today because I guess it was later and not still producing Theta waves.

@mandyjw just a quick post - trip observation. I was very naive to think this trip would 'fix' me. I expected (first problem) to return refreshed, unwound, and anxiety free. Well the reality is my mind was refreshed but my body in pure exhaustion. I had two days of rest before returning to work, and one of those I spent in bed because I felt ill. (exhaustion)... I succumbed to anxiety and anger at work and got really disappointed in myself and in the trip. I joked that I wish I had my money back. Huge ego backlash. Today was my last day of the week I'm finally seeing that I was basically asking for this huge change and no work. For free. But the trip was not supposed to do these things for me. That was never going to happen, and expecting it to is so laughable. I could only come back as the same person, relatively (because paradoxically I'm a different person by the second). What the trip accomplished for me was a refreshed mind, new perspective, and the energy to take on difficulties with more confidence. That's all I needed anyway. Sharpened tools to do the work more efficiently. Unfortunately the week of whining has masked these truths of the matter. I also have finally broken my habitual need to smoke at work, something I haven't been able to do for years. I suffered a huge nicotine attack yesterday that lasted for at least 2 hours. I was a bitch for sure but I didn't give in! No attack today although still dealing with other anxiety related issues.

@mandyjw ok I know what to do: I'll stick with the fan meditation for our official morning meditation which I report here on. At night I will do fifteen minutes concentration practice with an object. Obviously these will evolve over time. (story of life ?) I'll watch the video later, at work right now.

I would love to focus on the energy field that's a huge goal of mine. I was thinking of something different like holding an object and feeling the weight of it in my hands. May have to rub by fingers over it and just feel it. Attempts at feeling energy or focusing on breath has been difficult for me in the past so I thought maybe something more solid for now might hold my attention better. I own the illuminated mind book and want to try that again, but if I remember correctly it works with focusing on breath or the feeling of air on the nose something like that. A goal of mine will be to start that book over but I really want to increase my concentration skills a bit first. I'd that reasonable or am I overthinking it?

Sept 14 2019 Time: 15 minutes Concentration object : box fan Did feel a bit calmer in thought this morning. Still constant mind chatter but wasn't too excessive. No whacky dreamlets except for one of this African American lady handing me some kind of information flyer. Did kind of start to nod off right before the timer went off, but I am proud that my timer obsession has subsided greatly over the past few weeks. Thinking about trying a new concentration object, maybe something more tactile, because the auditory one just seems to go in one ear and out the other while I'm still lost in thought.

Maybe you are wanting to connect with a certain deity that you would like to call God. But I don't know what the vibrations would be. Maybe check out a spiritual group on Facebook

@mandyjw and only Mandy.... You can respond on here and we'll leave the guidance thread alone until I have a specific need, that alright?

Sept 12, 2019 Time :15 minutes Concentration object: box fan on the right side This is my first official meditation report since returning from a two week vacation. Finally feel like things are settling back down to normal. Non stop mind chatter. This is usual for me. However I did not really think about work so that's a huge improvement. I constantly redirected attention back to the fan, but was unsuccessful at keeping it there. Kind of felt like I was taking to myself the entire time which is disappointing because I can do that anytime (and I do!) While sitting, I had a few dreamlets (my word for short mind movies). One was this impression of talking to a few people who were line cooks at a diner and they were bustling around preparing food. Only lasted a few seconds but afterwards I was reviewing what I just saw and a voice said 'it's OK, at least they don't have to do it for Buckingham palace " lol! ?‍♂️?‍♂️ Another dreamlet was I had my vacation itenerary folder out on a table and this person began stepping on the visible pages which I knew my husband would have wanted to keep clean for souvenir purposes. I didn't know whether to brush the shoe print off or if that would make it worse. The person seemed to feel a little bad about it but assured me it was the French way of keeping a souvenir by showing your foot print. ?‍♂️?‍♂️ Wow I do love my imagination.

You create hundreds of these voices with complete personalities and tones of voice every night, whether you remember or not. They are called dream characters. They are all you and yet have a very distinct personality and presence. I wouldn't consider these voices in your head any different, and yet that does not make them any less special or awesome. I wouldn't jump to conclusions that they are being projected into your mind from an outside source (relatively) but I wouldn't count it out either. But in the end all IS you so it really doesn't matter. As long as you enjoy it.

So you asked for similar experiences but not interested in discussing further? You are a voice in my head so I think I'll take option 2 and ignore it.

@Strangeloop well I shared how I have had similar experiences and got no response. That's usually how conversations begin.

@TrynaBeTurquoise https://www.amazon.com/WILD-Way-Lucid-Dreaming-Demand-ebook/dp/B01CXPD7BI/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?keywords=The+wild+way+to+lucid+dreaming&qid=1567756533&s=books&sr=1-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExMEo2MFdUWFhVOUlGJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwOTY5OTE1MUozTkhKQTU4VVdWMSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDQxODE3NVZRWE4zMVEwVDIwJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU= That's the link to the book. Besides the author's claims that it can be achieved in 14 days by any normal person, and his complete bias toward WILDING as a means of lucid dreaming, this is the best guide to WILDING I have ever found. He also has a Facebook group where he can guide you through the process and help you with any obstacles. Although not really mentioned in the book, a strong meditation background is the biggest factor, which is why I have not had much luck besides the one achievement. But I get close many many times.

I think it must go both ways. It has been imagined that I AM all people at all space and time, and also it has been imagined that there are soul journeys to take for the sake of growth, self discovery, and integration. I don't think both views must contradict each other.

Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds. You only need to take 4-8 or so. I was silly and smoked a tiny bit of Marijuana after I thought I was having no effects. Went into full blown trip. Had many insights and visions and then Marijuana brought this teacher for weeks afterwards. Was hearing voices also at awakening like my name being called or someone saying hello or just random words. This is normal hypnopompic hallucinations but hadn't had them regularly like this before this trip. Was a very magical time. I felt little nausea which is another reason I thought the seeds weren't working. But I also have a pretty strong stomach. They say if you chew the seeds and hold them under your tongue for 15 minutes then spit out it prevents nausea. As for the dreaming there really is no transition from this reality to that one. I can account for that first hand having experienced it. It's just that most people loose consciousness between realities even if just a second or so. I can recommend a great book to teach you to do it.