Wisebaxter

@Nahm Those are great passages Nahm. I think that within all humans there is a knowledge of the call towards truth and awakening, which manifests in various ways. Sometimes it remains unconscious but it's always there and can be brought to the surface more by various life events. Deception and ego seems to be the main thing blinding us to it. This one really blew me away. Sounds like the call to acceptance of oneness and the author is struggling to let go of his castle of identity. I've definitely been afraid of letting go, especially as I'm afraid my life purpose of being a music producer will go to as I'm worried that was a part of my ego. But, something else, something deeper and more pure is urging me to just let go and unattach from it. There is still the hope that once I've done this the universal intelligence will want to create through me and I'll just flow with it and do it's work, but perhaps I should even let go of this hope. To be and to just flow with the river seems like the most amazing thing in the world. Since I've begun letting ago I've experienced deep love of life that I'd lost. If having a life purpose means manipulation, control and neuroticism then I don't want it anyway. Whatever is there once control has ceased, I'll accept it as the truth.

@Action What type of meditation are you doing? There are quite a fee different kinds so was just curious

@Moreira The effect the drug had on you was, maybe, that you simply didn't care about any negative consequences of failing social interactions, so you could relax enough to be yourself. I've been contemplating communication recently and I've discovered that my anxiety during social situations comes from the concept of 'failing,' getting it wrong. Maybe if we didn't give a shit we'd be fine, with or without drugs

Great journal, I'm getting a lot of ideas for my own enquiry here. I haven't done much but so far I've ascertained that there are two version of I. The I that is a thought and the I that knows the I thoughts. This seems like an energy field that can be trained on specific experiences. Ramana Maharshi said that when thoughts silence the world disappears and there is only the true self. But what confuses me is, even I don't label something, I can still see it there. It's not really gone, just my perception of it...but I'm just starting out What interests me is, reading someone else's journal is almost a chore for me, as if it's not nearly as interesting as my own. This must mean I'm still very ego identified. Your enquiry is my enquiry after all as we're one. I haven't experienced this yet but have faith in it. I'd like to do more work on viewing us in this way, instead of being seperate. At present the concepts seem so detached from me as they're not in my experience

Hey man, keep going with this and don't beat yourself up for losing focus - that's exactly why you're doing this stuff, to train your focus. You'll get that monkey mind tranquillised in time, don't worry. It's all trial and error so enjoy the process and don't expect results too fast. Hope it's going well

Have really enjoyed reading your posts. It seems like you're having a pretty great time at the moment, really feeling in love with life, maybe after your enlightenment experience. That's a very good question and I'm not sure it can be answered by anyone else as our own subjective experiences are so hard to convey. The mind will always try and ask question though as it's seeking meaning. Surrender into the experience and let those thoughts come and go because thoughts can only operate within the relative, dualistic plane. What you're experiencing is the absolute and thoughts will only distract us from it.

How are you getting on there buddy? Any luck? I was addicted to smoking too, but smoking weed. Have been off of it for 3 weeks but every day is a struggle. Are you trying to cut down or just go cold turkey?