Wisebaxter

@TheBeachBionic Why do you think guys might not want to sleep with you?

Beautiful words, love it. Your ego has obviously been sidelined quite effectively as I can sense the universe speaking through you

Yes, this is a great point. My issue is of course making assumptions and not contemplating the words I'm using properly. I think my fear also came from having a craving for something as I've just quit a major drug addiction and any cravings worry me now. I get the fear that something is going to get control of me again, distract me and take over, you know? Obviously this is all fear based stuff I need to work on and perhaps differentiate between higher and low consciousness urges. Sweet man, love that. That blew my mind and kicked my fear straight in the nuts This is some deep shit. I think I'm getting what you're saying - namely that the very act of separating the I from the process of meditation (non self) is an illusory boundary. You're saying that the urge to meditate could be an escape from the I, which is itself an illusion? I'm now thinking that all there is is awareness and consciousness and this is the case whether meditation is happening or not...otherwise, as you say, this separation could actually embolden the separate self even more. I'm going to contemplate these passage you posted, thanks Hmm, this isn't quite what I got from what faceless posted, but then again I'm rocking my own relative domain To me it seemed like he was providing a warning against separating the illusory self from the process of meditation by potentially having it as an escape from that Ahh I sense some pain occurring in you here dude. Could it be that you've developed a set of assumptions about faceless and they're charging your perception of what he's saying? Remember that there is no Faceless really and that he's you after all, so I think it would be cool if you could accept him as he is and love him unconditionally as you love yourself. If you don't agree with him that's something else, but I sense you may have created an ideology out of disagreeing with him and now you're judging him based on that. This is one of the worst things we can do to someone, pigeonhole them into an identity and not allow them to just be. But of course, I'm making assumptions here too so I would hate to be a hypocrite and judge you as I don't know all the facts (if indeed that's possible). Maybe some of my words will mean something positive to you, I hope so. Maybe not. It might be worth watching Leo's episode on Moralising as the more conscious you are the less you'll take offence. I still get offended myself so I'm not saying I'm perfect. We all have triggers. Have a look into why Faceless triggers you and work on that as I would imagine there's some fear there somewhere or an aspect of your survival that's being threatened. I think examining it would really benefit you. Much love to you brother

@DustyWhy When you discover the truth it goes beyond trust. If you have to trust in something then you really haven't discovered anything. Most of us were brought up believing that all you can hope for is trust and faith when it comes to any kind of spiritual pursuits, but there are things you can actually discover for yourself within the domain of metaphysics, things you can actually experience. Sure faith can be helpful to keep you going until you dig into some gold. If it's useful at all the book that got me my first actual experience of what actualized.org is about (although it goes a lot deeper) was the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, so that might be a good place to start to build up some inspiration and get a taste of truth rather than chasing it's tail.

@Outer Beast! Thanks man This is what I was hoping to hear. I'll jump in head first then

@Nahm Thank you To handle the 'thinking' side of the coin I've generally just been allowing it to happen and not identifying with it, which the meditation and the idea of 'letting go' has allowed me to do. I wouldn't say there's bliss involved there yet as with the meditation, but there's definitely more calmness. You raise a really goof point about paying attention to my experience of being when I'm 'off the pillow' as it were. Focused stomach breathing...interesting. I'll give that a go. Thanks for the link too, what a great list! So far I've been sticking with 'do nothing' meditation as I love the way it just allows you to flow with the moment and not resist it through any kind of doing. I know the focused meditation has some uses and I will get into that at some point, but at the moment it seems to involve effort, which I'm trying to move away from. Looking at that list...sky gazing meditation...hmm, sounds awesome. How many have you tried from the list? @PsiloPutty Ah, its so nice to hear enthusiasm from others about my new habit. It's been such a major, life changing thing for me and you guys obviously know where I'm coming from. I wonder how long a strong determination sit would be. At least 3 hours do you think? I'll have to watch Leo's video again. I reckon I could handle two hours at the moment. Have you done any? I do remember Shinzen Young saying these sits are the fastest way to enlightenment. But what if you need the loo? lol. Do I wear a diaper? Yeah I'm doing a bit of contemplation and self enquiry too, although isn't the answer just 'there is no I?' I've had that given to me as a spoiler by various sources. I literally can't find myself and I've realised the self is an illusion so I'm wondering what is it about repeatedly acknowledging this that leads to enlightenment. Maybe I'll ask on another post.

@universe Hell yeah man, that Needy vs non Non Needy perception video changed my shit up big time. I was literally going around labelling everything and now I'm in a state of acceptance and I'm just seeing everything for how it is, not how I want it to be. It has shifted my consciousness. I supplemented it with some Adyashanti videos on letting go and also with a solid practice of 'do nothing' meditation (which helps release control) and I'm loving life right now.

@Your place at Heart Very interesting dude. I've had this fear for years so I think I'll follow your advice and start contemplating it. I've even avoided watching that video of Leos due to fear. Hearing you talk so passionately about your results has inspired me

Indulge me here. I'm just watching Leo's recent episode entitled 'Life is a Maze' and immediately I'm reminded of one of my favourite films growing up, Labyrinth. If you've seen it you'll know what I mean straight away. Here are some of the similarities I noted Sarah begrudgingly accepts her hero's journey for enlightenment, which is personified by her baby brother, stolen from her by David Bowie, who I see as standing for deception, in fact he's a master of deception. So he steals enlightenment (the baby) from her and she must travel through the maze to find it. She meets Hoggle, her guide who agrees to guide her through the Labyrinth Straight away she realises that The Labyrinth is incredibly counter intuitive and the rules she was taught about reality don't apply at all. The first path she finds herself on seems to go on forever, until she accepts the wise words of a little worm guru who tells her that the truth is right in front of her and that there are doorways everywhere, so she progresses When she gets one of her first challenges wrong, by a couple of creatures that give her a paradoxical riddle, she is cast down into a dungeon to be forgotten about, which could easily be seen as a metaphor for depression. Luckily Hoggle knows a way out though! She finally learns how to solve paradox when she completes a riddle given to her by a couple of talking door knockers, and she progresses. the rules of the maze often change on her, for example there are some little imps that keep moving arrow signs around to confuse her, and she loudly exclaims that 'this place is so unfair!' Another strange guru creature then arrives to tell her 'the way forward is sometimes the way back' and also 'sometimes it seems like we're not getting anywhere, when in fact, we are.' All of the companions she meets have a simplicity about them but their defining characteristic is braveness. Bowie appears to offer her shiny objects and casts her into a materialistic fantasy. Some little goblin hoarder arrives and starts offering her loads of crap that she once found meaningful, stuff like makeup and objects relating to her identity. She exclaims 'this is all junk!' and starts smashing it up (this bit really blew me away). She basically realises that it will distract her from her quest for enlightenment. At one point she has to escape a bunch of weird creatures who can swap heads with each other, a perfect metaphor for the nature of identity and how transient and illusory identity is. Near the end they're being attacked by Bowie's goblin minions (who could embody the deceived masses) and she has to call on nature itself to help her defeat them. Her final challenge is the hardest and trippiest of all, wherein Bowie leads her into a very counter-inutivie 'strange-loop' type of maze, exactly like the one created by Escher. Bowie is pulling out all the materialist stops at this point, offering her everything she's ever dreamed of. She can only escape once she exclaims 'You have no power over me!' and then wakes up enlightened (with her baby brother back at home).

@B_Naz Yeah I understand you completely. When you realise that all thoughts/concepts are illusory it can leave you feeling quite disoriented. This is something I've been grappling with recently, trying to figure out what direction to take, what's 'right' as you say..and I finally feel like I'm making some progress. Leo and Peter Ralston, two gurus I follow, are always talking about the truth of direct experience...what this means is..what's true in your experience? If you experienced it, then it's true for you, even if on further investigation, in turns out to be a manipulation. I'll use an example. I'm angry with my wife as she said she wants to leave me. Thats the truth as I'm experiencing it right now. Right now I am authentically angry. But what else is there, in my experience? What's behind the anger? What is the anger protecting? Fear that she no longer loves me. I just had a tangible sense of that..so the anger is a way of masking that vulnerability. So there's another truth. What I'm getting at is, anything I experience is true, even a concept, even a manipulation. If I worry that I'm manipulating, then it's true that I'm worried I'm manipulating, so I investigate for further truths, for effects that are leading to effects. The effect of her saying she's leaving makes me scared, the effect of being scared makes me vulnerable. When I'm vulnerable I get angry to restore control and power. In my maze, everything I experience is true, from one experience to the next. A manipulation is still a truth, see? But it in and of itself is making another truth. So we peel back the layers. For a life goal example..I want to be a music producer. I have a feeling its because I want to connect people through music...so that feeling is the truth. I also have a fear that I'm just doing it for attention...so that fear is the truth, not the thing it points to (me doing it for attention...but the fear itself). Why is this fear there? What's behind that? Maybe I'm afraid that my ego is hijacking me - why am I afraid of that? Because then I won't be able to muster up the passion to actually do it...another fear. So what direction do I go in? I've discovered all of these fears but still I'm not sure what action to take. I'll take this back to letting go of control again. Once we do that our true intentions will start to become clear over time. The universe will speak through us and as long as we remove manipulations that are there through control (manipulations are always there to force control and are a tool of the ego/survival) then I can learn to trust myself again. This is all a question of trust, right? Let go of control and your heart will speak, the true universal self. Are you referring to discovering a manipulation has taken place? If so this should be a sign that you're doing something right. You're allowing things to be and then discovering that there was more at play than you first assumed. Don't get demoralised by these 'failures,' as they're actually great successes. You're being an explorer and not a crazed gold miner. There is a truth here that discovering manipulations make you feel like shit? Why is that a truth for you? What is behind this feeling of disappointment? A fear of having wasted time? A fear of helplessness? Hone in on that feeling and discover further truths. You sound pretty switched on so I'm sure you'll figure this all out. From reading your other posts a lot of this has probably been teaching you to suck eggs somewhat. As long as you're on the path and you're contemplating you'll get to the truth. I'm still learning myself so I can't be sure all of this is accurate, but one thing I know is, it's true that I just experienced it all See how much I had to write though to try and get some truth on this? And I'm not even sure it wasn't all bullshit hahaha - there's a truth. I re-iterate - the quickest way to truth is so let it all go and then see what surfaces from a neutral space. If you're still in doubt, read Peter Ralston's 'The Book of not Knowing.' Get the advice from an enlightened master on this exact topic.

@B_Naz I've had this question floating around in my mind too. How many of my actions are ego and mind based? How can I trust myself? Am I reacting to the enlightened me or the ego? This may not capture your enquiry perfectly but hopefully it's in the same ball park. The answer to all of my confusion and turmoil has recently revealed itself to me - let go, of everything. Stop forcing your mind and creating resistance. Resistance always comes from the illusion of control, of needing an 'I' to be in the driving seat because we're afraid of what will happen if we submit. The truth is there is no 'I' and control is an illusion anyway. When you try and answer these kind of questions you create resistance, not control. It's easy to deceive ourselves into thinking we're now in control, whereas really we've just manipulated ourselves and created a new experience of resistance. The universal intelligence will be able to speak through you, or you'll become it, once you let go and accept whatever's there. Empty your mind of idealogy and this desperate need to 'know' and your intuition will then kick in. Whatever you feel drawn towards, naturally, that's where you should go. Flow with the river of life and let it lead you. Practicing 'Do Nothing' meditation will help build up this skill.

@Colin Was this screenshot taken when Link has already completed the Maze? He completed his hero's journey, great!

@Nahm Those are great passages Nahm. I think that within all humans there is a knowledge of the call towards truth and awakening, which manifests in various ways. Sometimes it remains unconscious but it's always there and can be brought to the surface more by various life events. Deception and ego seems to be the main thing blinding us to it. This one really blew me away. Sounds like the call to acceptance of oneness and the author is struggling to let go of his castle of identity. I've definitely been afraid of letting go, especially as I'm afraid my life purpose of being a music producer will go to as I'm worried that was a part of my ego. But, something else, something deeper and more pure is urging me to just let go and unattach from it. There is still the hope that once I've done this the universal intelligence will want to create through me and I'll just flow with it and do it's work, but perhaps I should even let go of this hope. To be and to just flow with the river seems like the most amazing thing in the world. Since I've begun letting ago I've experienced deep love of life that I'd lost. If having a life purpose means manipulation, control and neuroticism then I don't want it anyway. Whatever is there once control has ceased, I'll accept it as the truth.

@Action What type of meditation are you doing? There are quite a fee different kinds so was just curious

@Moreira The effect the drug had on you was, maybe, that you simply didn't care about any negative consequences of failing social interactions, so you could relax enough to be yourself. I've been contemplating communication recently and I've discovered that my anxiety during social situations comes from the concept of 'failing,' getting it wrong. Maybe if we didn't give a shit we'd be fine, with or without drugs

Great journal, I'm getting a lot of ideas for my own enquiry here. I haven't done much but so far I've ascertained that there are two version of I. The I that is a thought and the I that knows the I thoughts. This seems like an energy field that can be trained on specific experiences. Ramana Maharshi said that when thoughts silence the world disappears and there is only the true self. But what confuses me is, even I don't label something, I can still see it there. It's not really gone, just my perception of it...but I'm just starting out What interests me is, reading someone else's journal is almost a chore for me, as if it's not nearly as interesting as my own. This must mean I'm still very ego identified. Your enquiry is my enquiry after all as we're one. I haven't experienced this yet but have faith in it. I'd like to do more work on viewing us in this way, instead of being seperate. At present the concepts seem so detached from me as they're not in my experience

Hey man, keep going with this and don't beat yourself up for losing focus - that's exactly why you're doing this stuff, to train your focus. You'll get that monkey mind tranquillised in time, don't worry. It's all trial and error so enjoy the process and don't expect results too fast. Hope it's going well

Have really enjoyed reading your posts. It seems like you're having a pretty great time at the moment, really feeling in love with life, maybe after your enlightenment experience. That's a very good question and I'm not sure it can be answered by anyone else as our own subjective experiences are so hard to convey. The mind will always try and ask question though as it's seeking meaning. Surrender into the experience and let those thoughts come and go because thoughts can only operate within the relative, dualistic plane. What you're experiencing is the absolute and thoughts will only distract us from it.

How are you getting on there buddy? Any luck? I was addicted to smoking too, but smoking weed. Have been off of it for 3 weeks but every day is a struggle. Are you trying to cut down or just go cold turkey?