Wisebaxter

@tenta I like this answer. It makes me feel like I don't have to go and dick around with Orange any more. But I have a bad feeling it just appeals to my sense of weakness and laziness, and to my misconception that Green is somehow better so I'm above Orange. The more I think about it the more I know, deep down, that I need to go back to Orange and do it properly, in my own way

@non_nothing Lol is that you dad? No seriously you got me over a barrel, you know me too well. I'm an ungrateful snivelling little wretch stuck in ego, concept land. I did do that care job for approval as I felt like I was a worthless son of a bitch and it made me feel better about myself. Hey, I still feel good about doing it though So, I'm just trying to summarise your actual 'advice' aside from all the brutal 'home truths' and ass kickings. You're saying to man the fuck up and go and nail orange? Thanks for pointing out that I was assuming higher stages were somehow better than lower ones. I was falling into a classic trap there. Thanks for taking the time for write all of that too and helping me out

@Jack River Yeah I really loved it. Tolle was able to get across the essence of his work really succinctly and neatly. King just allowed him to speak without interrupting him or giving his two cents every few seconds like some interviewers do. This is the first time I've seen King actually.

@Jack River Very good point. King did seem to be without ego. I think we may be projecting.

@Joseph Maynor It could be that unconsciously Larry was a little bit intimidated by Tolle's legendary status and wisdom and went into 'aloof mode' to compensate

LOL

@Serotoninluv Forgot to say, thank you for this great explanation RE the process of shifting stages

@Nahm If we're one and the same how can you be Maya? Is this some kind of paradox?

@aurum Very good point there. Leo mentioned recently that money is just one more area to master in life, but due to the hang ups that you mentioned I'm having trouble with it. A big part of it is I feel I'm going to have to spend time doing stuff I don't want to do to make progress, whereas I've gotten very used to have so much free time. This might not be true though, if I just hammer at the life purpose and monetise that - could take a while though. I have a book from Leo's book list that will help me to change the way I look at money, so that should help. You're so right, it's all about getting rid of these hang ups. @electroBeam Yeah man, again this comes back to what Nahm said about inner game I think, learning to stop judging and letting my past define me. Interesting point that just learning some Orange skills alone won't solve the problem. @Nahm I'm reading a book on shadow work at the moment and doing the exercises, but a part of me still worries that I'm just digging these things up and cementing them in my mind by looking at them. Another part of me is inclined to follow your other advise and just focus on the future, but I'll see where this leads for now. Oh yes, I've definitely become aware recently that I'm addicted to certain lines of thought, but meditation is helping me to detach from thoughts in general and I'm going to use your great advise and focus on more empowering 'facts,' such as embracing what I truly am now, instead of a story about myself based on lies. @Space Very good observation here, I'm certainly missing that integration of other stages from my Yellow-ness. Ok Maybe I'm not balls deep - half a shaft perhaps I'm going to contemplate on your advice here because I think it's very astute. This was kind of my thinking when I created the thread, that I'd have to go back and integrate properly. I have some bigger picture thinking happening but I'm crap with money and to be honest even my Green is lacking...I'm quite emotionally immature and don't think enough about environmental issues.

@Nahm Dude that was amazing, you're a legend. So what you're saying is I need to just see these beliefs for what they they are, just repeated thoughts...strip all that away and get in touch with the fact that I already am everything I need to be. You're words are very relevant to me at the moment as this last couple of months I've been going through a process of stepping aside so let the universe guide me. Watching Leo's video on 'having no free will' really helped something to click for me and ever since then I've been seeing signs everywhere I look, that the real goal is to stop resisting, to realise my true nature as perfection and to just bask in gratitude and love. Your post is another addition to this collection of messages from the divine. Hell yes, my dad was always obsessing about money, telling me how hard it is to make and communicating that our bank balance defines our worth. He stressed me out about it so much that I went into lockdown. But enough of the victim mentality. That was in the past. “I’m done with the past, it’s gone, I have everything I need to love myself right now, and anyone and everyone I cross paths with too.” Yeah that felt good to say. That's a powerful mantra right there. Ah I see what you're getting at - focus on the positive version of what I said. Love is the opposite of fear, so if I focus on that it's better than focusing on 'being without fear.' That's still a fear based approach. YES! I don't want to resist what is, I don't want to always be stuck in the perception that there's something lacking, something that I need to add to myself, when I'm perfect already. I want to stop controlling and fighting life. I want to take action in the moment, with effortless effort, whether its making music, strategising for the future, whatever. With your post you nicely summed up where I've arrived at recently in my life (uncanny) and given me a jolt to make me realise that by making statements such as 'I can't do this, I can't do that,' or 'I need this,' I'm living within my old illusory identity and not as my true self, which is divine perfection. I'm going to manifest what the universe wants me to manifest and follow the path I'm on, reading through Leo's booklist, meditating, visualisation, all the stuff you mentioned, each morning Thanks for your help brother

@Serotoninluv I see, so what do we take from Orange that's positive? Critical or strategic thinking perhaps?

@Nahm To self-actualise. To live without fear. To master all areas of my life, Health, Life-Purpose, Money, Spirituality (enlightenment) and relationships. At the moment there are still areas where I have fears and unhealthy beliefs, namely money and relationships. I feel like I can't make money and at present I'm not financially dependent, I rely on the taxpayers money to survive and I can't buy what I need (new clothes) or what I want (psychedelics, solo retreats, travel). It gets me down a bit as although I'm on this amazing journey of spirituality and truth seeking I feel life is also about having fun experiences and adventures, seeing exotic places and engaging the senses. I'm also scared to have relationships with people as the responsibility feels like too much and I don't find socialising particularly enjoyable (maybe because I need some yellow/turquoise friends). So basically Nahm I just want to be a well rounded individual who can use forms with no hang ups and operate efficiently within the dream, to experience the dream fully as well as the infinite. That and a haircut wouldn't go amiss Having written all of that I think I can see the problem. It's all me me me isn't it. All about self gratification. I didn't write 'to help others, to love everything as much as I can, to lift others up through the spiral and make the world a better place.' I think perhaps I should focus some visualisations on becoming more self sacrificing, this is the only way to receive true abundance in all areas anyway. Let's add something else to the list then....to be a conduit for pure, unadulterated, divine love.

@electroBeam Great advice bro, thank you. I am getting a bit too obsessed with spiral dynamics. Basically I spent my life learning how to play the guitar, sing, write songs, program music and do personal development. I have my life purpose down, which I'm working on daily, but missed out on the stage Orange skills of being able to turn a skillset into a way to make money. That's why I was thinking of going back and integrating somehow. I do have enough money, as this is how much I should have at this moment in time, for the path I'm on. The universe is seeing to that. But this intelligent mind is also drawn towards making more money as it obviously needs it for something. I'm just letting it do it's thing while my ego sits in the passenger seat. I see the main message of your post as, 'employ some strategic thinking to figure out how to use your existing skills to add value.' Yes..thank you universe. Thank you for speaking through the illusory identity known as electroBeam, and thank you ElectroBeam. @Serotoninluv Hmm, I've never looked at it like that. Maybe it's just the materialism of Orange that I rejected then and I did take some stuff from it, like Reason, logic etc. For some reason I've become overly focused on seeing it as a shallow, money hungry stage only

@Serotoninluv That's nice of you to say, means a lot to me, thank you. Sounds like you are too

Hey guys, last couple of days, during and after meditation I've had this really nice fuzzy feeling in my body which has been with me throughout the day, mainly in my head I think but pretty much through my whole body. It kind of feels like I'm high. Just feel super chilled and very at peace. During the meditation I felt some. Warm tingles in my body but don't know if it was psychosomatic as I've been reading about kundalini and I wanted it to happen. Has anyone else had this? What does it mean? I guess I'm wanting to hear things like 'you're becoming enlightened my friend, have at it! Or, yes, the powers of the cosmos are awakening with you' lol. Another thing I noticed is that my dreams have become more intense and vivid. Last night I dreamnt my girlfriend was ignoring me and wouldn't speak a word and I became so panicked amd furious I picked up her cat by the tail and threatened to garotte it lol. So fucked up. I felt awful afterwards. I wonder if my shadow side is emerging in my dreams so I can work on it.

@Serotoninluv Well...I believe (although I'm not sure) that I'm at the stage where I've become an observer of the thoughts. I'm not using an object of focus you see, like the breath, I'm actually residing as awareness and watching for thoughts. However when the thoughts arise they do seem pretty close and have a sense of 'me-ness' about them. They only really arise when my alertness disappears and I forget what I'm doing, then when awareness returns I note the thought and reside in that state again for as long as possible. If I can stay alert and keep hold of the thought that I'm watching for thoughts, then no thoughts arise, although I find this a little odd as I'm almost using a thought to stop thoughts lol. But the stopping thoughts 'thought' does take a bit of a back seat, so there's still some pure awareness, I think. As for judgement or criticism, the content of my thoughts are usually quite tame, luckily, so they don't leave a bad taste. I live quite a simple, solitary, virtuous existence, so that helps. When they do occur they're usually of a dumb film I watched, like today I bizarrely started trying to remember who won the fight in Batman vs Superman lol. If there're judgements it's usually me judging myself for losing awareness, but perhaps that's what you meant. But anyway, the thoughts aren't quite 'weak and distant' like you said. That would be lovely. The idea of watching them like logs floating down a river and realising they're not me sounds very blissful. Om Swami likens it to stepping-off a Ferris wheel you were on and just watching it from below. I only really see that on an intellectual level at the moment, but I can feel it happening very very gradually. Enlightened duality huh? I did watch a video of Spira talking about that. I'll go back over it and focus on the object + observer stage, like you say. I'll see what he says about how to move up to the next stage too, without putting the cart before the horse of course Thanks for the great dialogue and all these awesome tips my friend

This is a good example of how the over-extended compassion of Green can put them in danger of being harmed by Red - warning, quite shocking.

@Serotoninluv I'm happy to hear you're making some progress with your inquiry into form. I like what you said about not phrasing things as a question to avoid getting a conceptual, word-based answer, I'll remember that. I'll be honest I haven't really gotten anywhere with the small amount of self enquiry that I've done. I ask 'what am I?' and I just get the same answer. 'I'm here, I'm this body and this mind. I just can't seem to disassociate myself with being a body at all. I feel so....located in space and time. But I really haven't done much. Maybe now I've made some progress with the meditation I'll get some better results. But patience and perseverance is the key I'm sure. I have a couple of books to read on self-enquiry from Leo's booklist so that should help me out. I'll drop a subtle question or two into my meditation perhaps, like you suggested and see what unfolds Thanks for the link

@Serotoninluv Ah thank you, thank you, not much I want to add or ask about your first two paragraphs as you phrased all the stuff about thoughts so well and it made perfect sense to me. Those were powerful words and I'm going to study them intently. I'm feeling so much love for everything right now, it's crazy. This fuzzy feeling, that's what it feels like, pure love, like I've taken a mild psychedelic perhaps (if my memory serves me as its been a while). Sorry, are you saying this line of inquiry I.e thought based ( about neutrons etc) is to be avoided? Are you saying that the answer to such a question should come from a more intuitive place? I might need to watch that episode again. Which one was it exactly?

@Nahm Haha, that's the first time someone has quoted Anchorman to me, which is surprising seeing as I've used this name and this image for so long and its such a popular film. You know how to cut right to the core of me Baxter. I'm an electronic music producer (life purpose) and I'm trying to think of a good artist name. it's been bugging me for ages and I was wondering if I should just use Wisebaxter. Do you think its a bit crap for an artists name though? Honestly?

@Serotoninluv Yes it certainly is nice to have something to chase. I've already meditated once today and I here I am itching to have another session. I just want this feeling to stay put and I have this urge to keep feeding into it. Great point, thank you. You're saying it's a trap to separate thoughts from emptiness...as they themselves are empty? Just modulations of awareness? I've heard Spira talk about this and other teachers say everything is comprised of emptiness. Or is that thoughts are forms that arise from this emptiness? You mean, they come to you as something other than words in your head? So do you mean images, or something deeper, something intuitive and beyond words?

@Serotoninluv Well now I've actually experienced some real, tangible effects from my meditation I'm in it for the long haul. I was operating on faith before somewhat but I've been feeling high for two days straight now and my awareness is as sharp as a blade so I want more, more, give me MORE haha, na I know its not good to chase these states as firstly you can't rely on them and secondly they're a distraction on not the real deal, so I've read. Adyashanti warns against chasing feel-good states, seeing as your real, true state - the enlightened you, as you put it, is stateless. I think that's what he said anyway. The insights you mention, which come when your mind is empty...do you wait until after the meditation to contemplate them, or do you follow them when they occur? Or maybe they don't require any further contemplation. I'm just confused about how meditation, which is supposed to be about becoming 'thoughtless,' (unless you're doing neti neti or whatever) can be used for insights...

@Rilles Yeah that seems to be the thing that's made all the difference recently. I've started being able just to stay in awareness for longer in between thoughts. Basically watching for the next thought allows me to do this. It was during a long spurt of awareness that the warmth appeared. Lol, I made that sound like I either jizzed in my pants or wet myself. You know what I mean though @Nahm That's really interesting, non duality stops you dreaming huh? not surprising as they're based around relative concepts, just like the waking state. I'm reading a book on shadow work at the moment and digging into my unconscious mind a bit as I want to be befriend the shadow before I start taking psychedelics. Although these dreams are disturbing I'm very grateful for them and to the higher power that's helping me to uncover all of this stuff.

@Rilles Ah cool, so basically it means I'm doing it properly? It's taken me a while of trying out different techniques and getting my posture right etc so maybe I should continue with the particular method I'm doing, which is mindfulness meditation.

@herghly I have to confess I'm no expert but I would be doing them at least 4-5 times per day. Pressing against the palm of one hand with the fingers of your other hand, or just stopping to ask yourself, am I dreaming right now? Maybe set up a timer on your phone to do those, maybe at the same time. Then your subconscious mind will be primed to ask that question when you're asleep. Start to get into the frame of mind that you could be dreaming at any point, and in fact, your waking state is a dream according to Leo so you pretty much are anyway. Interesting about the NoFap. I find meditating every day makes my dreams super vivid. This video seems pretty good. I would take this guys advice over mine as he seems experienced and I got most of my info from him: