Wisebaxter

@Sahil Pandit Ah I see, yeah that's a great idea. If I ever lose my juice then I'll just re-capture the feeling. Saying that, this is almost a low I'm going through as I'm worrying I can't sustain it or that I'm gonna suffer from fatigue or something. Plus my girlfriend is feeling neglected as I keep snubbing her for PD lol. When you'd rather work on an exercise to release your positive shadow than have sex then that can't be a good sign...

@Sahil Pandit Thanks man, but could you elaborate a bit on that? Do you mean the feeling of excitement? A reference for what sorry?

@Sven I'm not authority by any means as I've haven't tried either, but I've read that with DMT you get a lot more visuals and hallucinations, like you might see aliens and shit, whereas with 5-MeO you're completely lucid but you experience ego death and become God. It provides an experience of Non-duality. You'll basically get the same experience the Buddha did sitting under that Bodhi tree, so you will be aware of your surroundings and you won't see any crazy stuff but you will experience your true nature. That's why they call it the God molecule. It's much, much more powerful than DMT, the most powerful psychedelic there is. Leo also has a video on YouTube expressly about 5-MeO and an interview with Martin Ball, who claims he reached enlightenment taking it. Both worth a watch.

@Tony 845 @Jack River Yes, in the words of Mr Rupert Spira, where is the 'I' that knows the suffering? The concept of suffering is only created through identification with thoughts and feeling, themselves concepts, interpreted by the finite mind, within the illusion of time. In the Now there is only the 'self' as Jack put it, or the 'I' (I believe they're referring to the same thing.) Next time you tell yourself you're suffering, take note of what it is that's aware of your suffering and turn your attention to that, that constant thing which is always there. Watch it for long enough and you'll see that it is the 'knower' of experiences and perceptions. Just keep your attention on it and notice it's completely pure and untainted by anything. Another thing to look into with your suffering is...what are you resisting? I find that at the heart of suffering there's usually resistance to something Also, have you done any shadow work? You may have have an unhealthy ego or a shadow side that you need to integrate. Enlightenment is all well and good but as Leo is always saying it's only one side of the coin. I believe we need to work on our psychology as well as discover our true nature. The merging of the Ego with the Self will help us integrate any enlightenment experiences and could even bring them about faster. After all the ego is a part of the self in a non-dual sense. it's not something to be demonised or denied, as doing so is the surest way of creating a shadow side that will sabotage you. Lastly, psychedelics are very therapeutic apparently and can help bring what you need to work on to the surface. Have you tried them before? If not it might be worth dipping your toe in the water there, maybe not with 5-MeO straight off the bat, but something a bit milder. I've recently bought some LSD and I'm going to be tripping within the next few weeks for my first time, so I'll let you know how that goes.

@Trinity A book I'm reading on Shadow work recommends as an exercise trying to integrate all of the positive traits of every sign and acknowledge and work on all of the negative traits. This is because it's actually a great model for the entirety of the human psyche. This has sparked my interest in the signs.

@Tony 845 Apparently Martin Ball became enlightened taking 5-MeO, look him up on YouTube, he has some videos. Maybe you could even email him and ask him how many others he knows of. My thinking is though, why not take some? What have you got to lose? Oh yeah your entire identity...but that's what you want right? I'm gonna take some once I've worked my way up to it with other psychedelics, on the advice of the experts.

I could never settle into stage Orange as I was too much of a goddam hippy rebel and kept smoking too much weed and not giving a shit about conforming or listening to authority. So I kept getting sacked from jobs all the time or just quitting. I've always disliked Orange as my family are Orange and they're a bunch of shallow ass-clowns. I feel like I'm balls-deep in Yellow with my tip in Turquoise at the moment as I'm reading lots, seeing the bigger picture, unravelling my ego, meditating every day and spending all my time self-actualising. However my finances just aren't there. I claim benefits and live with my girlfriend, who works while I do the house work haha. I can still afford to eat, I have a gym membership and not working does give me plenty of time to self-actualize and work on my life purpose (music production) but the spectre of Orange still haunts me. Do I really need to dive into that shit and learn how to make some money? My music isn't making me money yet as I'm not advanced enough at it. As for Green, I did do a care job for a couple of years and looked after mentally ill people and I've always cared about others, but my social skills suck ass. I have no friends, no social life and so my ability to feel love for others and experience an emotional range through having deep relationships just isn't there. I feel happy where I am and making great progress with meditation and not giving a shit about success or having lots of money (although I'm not completely detached from that need yet) so do I really need to go and do orange? Like, don my suit and go and work in an office with a bunch of apes? Maybe it would be good for me as I could nail some green too whilst I'm there (be an agony aunt for the apes) and also afford some nootropics and psychedelics. Taking psychedelics could help me shed any remaining fixations I have with money and help be figure out what's going wrong with my social skills... What are your thoughts?

@zambize Hey man, yeah I've checked out Leo's videos on psychedelics, they're great aren't they. I'm doing what he suggested and taking the time to set my intention before I trip, the questions I want answers to etc. I bought some acid today actually so I'm gonna wait for the right time and get on the case with that. How often do you use psychedelics? Have you tried 5-Meo? That sounds like the holy grail. You sound like a really cool dude. Thanks for helping @non_nothing Thanks man! Those are very encouraging words. much appreciated

@zambize Hey man, yeah I've checked out Leo's videos on psychedelics, they're great aren't they. I'm doing what he suggested and taking the time to set my intention before I trip, the questions I want answers to etc. I bought some acid today actually so I'm gonna wait for the right time and get on the case with that. How often do you use psychedelics? Have you tried 5-Meo? That sounds like the holy grail. You sound like a really cool dude. Thanks for helping

@Preetom That's super useful, thanks. Now I know I'm on the right path

Is it the kind of thing that slaps you around the face, that you really can't miss? Do fireworks shoot out of your asshole or something? I was hoping I'd seen the Ox but I'm really not sure. I mean, I can reside as awareness on command, outside of the land of dualities, and I feel like it's my true nature. I get that my self identity is a lie and that being, the 'Now' is all there is and that's what I am in essence and that it's infinite. But it feels like I 'know' it more than I've experienced it, though the knowing feels very profound and tangible. When I meditate I get a nice warm, fuzzy feeling all over my body...but what does a mystical experience feel like? Can someone describe it? Lots of gurus say that having some kind of sensual experience isn't it at all and its more like just experiencing your true nature, like quite a simple thing, so what am I looking for? I need to catch me a glimpse of that Ox's ass ASAP. Should I just do some psychedelics and be done with it? I was going to do that anyway but I kind of wanted to see that bugger first so I don't feel like I cheated straight off the bat y'know?

Ok, I've purchased 4 x LSD tabs, 120ug doses. The guy selling them says they're 98% pure or something. Can't wait. But I'll have to wait until Jan to do them though as I'll need to get paid again before I can afford to rent a hotel to use. This is the problem with not having integrated stage Orange - low cash flow. Working on that. I can do a bit more shadow work in the meantime though and read some of the psychedelic books on Leo's booklist - prepare my questions, set my intention etc. I'll be sure to post my trip report on here. Thanks for all your help guys

@VioletFlame That's really interesting, I haven't considered much how my chosen art-form could be used to increase my consciousness. I haven't delved that deep into it yet as I've been so focused on other practices but I'm looking forward to it even more now. I've had a lot of limiting beliefs about it in the past, Do I have what it takes to master it? Am I just doing it for money and accolades etc. These were real concerns I've had to address as I to an extent I was being driven only by success. I can't wait to dive into it though and just love the process and connection to the infinite creative consciousness (coming soon ) Thanks Violet, that's a really useful description. @lmfao Thanks for this bro, I'll be sure to keep it in mind as I think that looking beyond myself is definitely a huge trap, like you say. It's about the falling away of illusion right? We don't actually 'gain' anything , that's what I've heard anyway. @purerogue Congratulations man! Sounds like you're keeping a level head about it though. There are usually higher levels to attain so keep on going with what you're doing as it's obviously working. Hmm, that's really interesting. So these experience stack up on a scale and can start at just a few seconds. I have had a few moments whilst meditating where the whole world has just fallen away and all there is is being, but it didn't seem all that profound and different from my usual state. I did feel some energy moving through my body but I know these things can happen as a psychosomatic thing when you want to believe they're true. My mind was saying 'woah, this is it, here it is,' haha, so if my mind was there I'm sure it wasn't the real deal. Maybe it was just a little sniff of that Ox's sweat. @PukkaDanks Nice to know I'm not alone on this. Sounds like you've been at it for a lot longer than me though. Your mushroom experience is going to be pretty damn deep I'm sure if you've been working on yourself that much. Mystical experience or not you've done a hell of a lot of prep work. I hope you post a trip report on here as I'd love to read it

Very well said, thank you very much for pointing out the harsh nature of my language to me. Part of it is for humour and effect but there's definitely some hang ups there so you're not wrong. I had some pretty awful experiences working in offices wherein I felt really rejected and deflated but if I'm honest I had it coming and also I only suffered in my pride. I'm come along way since then and I now believe in showing love and kindness to everybody no matter what, so I don't know what happened with my post. Well, I kind of do...I guess I still have some baggage tucked away. I'm working my way up to psychedelics and plan to take some AL-LAD just after Christmas. I've been doing some shadow work to rid myself of some of these issues and if there's anything left by that time then the substance will show me what it is - I'm hoping. I am blessed like you say and moving forward I don't want to judge, ever. I'm going to go to these Orange people with my heart open and treat them as equals. Everyone can teach you something right?

@Serotoninluv Really? Wow. Well that's very helpful, I'm getting an idea of what I'm gunning for now. I was deluding myself thinking I'd had a breakthrough, but that's ok, at least now I know. I've got so much from personal development already so its exciting to think I haven't even scratched the surface

@Leo Gura I did 30 minutes of shamanic breathing and felt incredible afterwards. I don't think it was anything deep though. It felt more like I've been feeling recently from doing 40mins of meditation. I guess I'd better try it for longer. I find it quite uncomfortable though the way it makes my teeth feel while I'm doing it. It just feels unpleasant in general but I know I need to stop being a pussy and just get on with it if I want results

@Serotoninluv Yeah I did consider being out in nature, but it's cold as shit here right now lol. Freezing my arse off might be an even worse decision, unless while I'm tripping I think I've become the abominable snow man and take it in my stride I think rent a cheap motel like Leo suggested. We having something here called Travel lodge, £45 per night. I'll stock up with food in there and I'll be gravy.

@Sahil Pandit Yeah I do remember Leo saying that you can get ego backlash after a while when starting a meditation habit. You'll think you've given stuff up then wham! the cravings return. Well this time I'm ready...I know why it's happening and I won't backslide. I'm gonna see it as a good sign that I'm making progress and thank the universe for giving me this blessed sign I've come to far to screw up now.

@Leo Gura Gocha man, I'll go for some good personal growth then and prepare myself for a possible bumpy ride. I think I'll be ok as I used to smoke massive bongs and had weed induced panic attacks on numerous occasions. But I won't underestimate the power of psychedelics, that would be dumb. Good idea about the motel, I hadn't thought of that....thanks for the tips

@Serotoninluv Well that's what I'll do then. Problem is I live with a bunch of people, my girlfriend and two of her tenants as well as six frigging cats that I'm sure will freak me out if I'm tripping. I've never done any psychedelics before you see. I could shut myself in my office but I'd have to come out for food. Unless I stock up in there. I was thinking of pretending I'm sick over Christmas and tripping on Christmas Day as everyone will be going home to see their families. But then I might get a major guilt attack because I'm not with my family and start sobbing or something lol. Anyway I'll figure it out.

@Leo Gura Ah cool, thanks for clarifying Leo. I'll grab myself some AL-LAD and get cracking with it then. Remember you saying it was a good starter substance. I've been stalling on it a bit because I was worried I had some unconscious baggage that might come up during the trip, but it's nothing too major, just some failed relationships, some resentment towards my parents for making their love unconditional, the usual shit. I'm knocking out a bit of shadow work right now so that should take the edge off

@aurum Ok dude, so there's my answer...I'll just keep following the footprints diligently and with faith.

Ah thanks for saying that man, I really appreciate it. It's nice to get that kind of encouragement as I'm quite a hermit and don't speak to many people to get feedback. You've made my day there. Uncanny you should mention negative feelings. This has been an issue for me over the past week. Have been getting bad cravings for weed again. I gave up a 20 year habit 4 months back and haven't wanted it until recently. But I'm gonna power through it with the strength of my self-actualizing vision. Plus I know the cravings are an illusion anyway just based on images in my head, words and feelings. Pure awareness is always perfect so I'll just reside in that. Thanks again bro

@Sahil Pandit Cool man, I sure hope so I totally feel like I'm gaining ground on the Ox, like there's something divine happening. I Recently gave up on the notion of free will too and that seemed to shift my consciousness even more and I felt a load more weight just 'shift.' I now get this sense that I'm closer to my true nature. Yeah actually my schedule couldn't be better. I'm not working at present so I have all day to myself to do whatever I like. This has helped me massively. At the moment I'm reading mainly turquoise books, going to the gym every day and doing 40mins of meditation, 30mins of visualisation and various other practices I got from Leo's videos, like practicing 'being cognition,' noting self deception mechanisms, stuff like that. But I have this sense that I need to start some hardcore self enquiry and contemplation, perhaps some psychedelics (although I wanted to do more personal development first). I'm reading a book on shadow work at the moment though which is amazing, but still, I need something that's gonna take me deeper...maybe more meditation too...but you're saying that the best way would be to just sit and be conscious of my surroundings? This is a good method huh? Oh yeah I'm doing a bit of life purpose stuff too, music production

@Sahil Pandit Yeah interesting you should say that as iI'm just watching an Adyashanti video and he's saying you just have to give up wanting and surrender. Give up trying to get it with your mind and feel it with your heart. I'm always trying to grasp something with my mind, to achieve some kind of 'state.' It's funny though as my life did get drastically re-contexualized after I read the Power of Now. I just came fully into the moment, stopped suffering almost completely. I let go of all my desires. It felt like some kind of awakening. I think I just have to let go even more though as the desires are still there under the surface and I still feel this need to be 'doing' all of the time and chasing my life purpose. I still worry that I won't amount to anything. I just wish I could have an experience, like some kind of big event to fire me up and get me even more motivated. Not that I'll ever stop the practices anyway as they've already benefited me to much, even with a mystical experience.