Wisebaxter

@Girzo Well of course we can make exceptions for Osho and Rumi....that goes without saying. Nothing gets me harder and ready to bone than a Ruminator quote. If the chick is versed in that shit then that will appeal to a man's intellect and he'll get horny - but we're still talking about sex here. His heart won't start swooning or anything and he won't turn up at her place with a dozen red roses reciting more Rumi loudly at her window in between marriage proposals.

@Nahm That's awesome Nahm, thanks. I've read many times that spontaneous, intuitive insights can come from a state of being, from what they call in the scientific field 'diffuse mode' as opposed to 'focused mode.' I think I've been coming at it all from too much of a neurotic angle, focusing my attention on questions like a laser beam and when nothing comes I start to feel frustrated, or if something comes it just feels a bit unnatural, like it came from my ego and not somewhere deeper. I'm going to carry out the practices you suggested and see how that goes. @Leo Gura Thanks a lot Leo, that's really helpful. Perhaps I need to reset my outlook a bit to how it used to be before I learned about Non-Duality, where concepts of cause and effect and practicality were just what they were. I can keep my new-found understanding of absolute truth there but like you say I need to realise that when there's a relative goal then there will also be a relative solution to that goal. I think I'm trying to bring considerations of absolute truth into my practical daily affairs and it's fucking with me a bit. Also, the 'how' to get something done is one aspect of things, but something else I'm struggling with is the 'what' and even the 'why?' What criteria should I use when choosing what to do with my life? How can I discover a direction for myself and trust myself to come up with the right one? Is the answer basically an avoidance of pain and a pursuit of pleasure? The avoidance of suffering? I'd imagine your life purpose course is good for this one. Intuitively I feel the answer has something to do with 'creating' as that's an act of love. I'm sure @Nahm's meditation exercise can help me find direction here too. I might be fundamentally dealing with an issue of low self-efficacy. I'm reading Nathanial Branden's 'Six Pillars of Self Esteem' at the moment and making some progress with that. I realise I'm coming across a bit like I need you guys to run my life for me lol, but this shit is seriously confusing me. I think I need to enjoy the process more and be able to deal with paradox as well as 'not knowing' without freaking the hell out. @Truth Addict For sure dude, maybe I'm overthinking things too much. Like I said I might need to just leave certain things alone and accept them as being useful without picking them to pieces.

Most men will be put off if you fly staight in talking about lofty concepts like love. The way to a man's heart is through his loins. My honest advice is to drop all the intense stuff as it will never attract a male. If you want a loving relationship, jump their bones and make some fireworks happen, you'll soon see them switch on the romance after that, trust me. I know women who stay stuck with this issue for years. It's tough because they start getting cynical and thinking of men as shallow. Theyre not, they're just wired a bit differently. Have some fun, get laid, forget about love for now. That shit comes later, when a good physical connection is established. Women put the cart before the horse with love. Love is built on physical intimacy, not words. I understand that women feel they need an emotional connection first, that's their biology and it's a bit of a cruel trick on natures part. All of my long term relationships have come after having sex very early. Become a maneater, get in touch with your sexuality. Men will be queuing up to romance you then. If I read you wrong I apologise. My advice still stands for anyone else though.

Don't overthink it. Just ride that shit to Asgard and back and see how you feel after that.

Turn the tables on her dude and let her come to you. You may come across as more desirable that way. Of course, try not to fake it. Get into the mindset that sex is just sex and don't think about it so much. Meditation should help with this.

@ajasatya Sure, but how do I know which concepts to get behind, which concepts are right for me? I also struggle with the paradox of disciplining my mind and practicing non-resistance. When I control my mind it feels unnatural, but when I let it do what it likes I feel I'm wasting time and not figuring anything out, or I'm letting old, negative pattens run rampant. To be honest I don't know what the hell to do with my mind. There's too much to think about, too many questions to answer...it's tiring. I can never decide where to focus it. Even with something like contemplation. Where do you even start with something like that? What should be prioritised? See what I mean, too many questions. Maybe I need to meditate more as my mind is driving me a bit nuts right now.

@Aakash That's all great advice dude. I'm gonna dig into it and contemplate what you've said before I come back with anything. I might shoot @ivankiss a line too, thanks for the pointer there

That was a great post, thanks. You summed up the issue perfectly. So emotions are they key? I thought this might be the case. Maybe I need to develop more emotional awareness. My EQ is rubbish to be honest. I'm so stuck in my head it's ridiculous. There's really no emotional connection to the music. When I create a good chord progression or whatever, yeah it sounds nice but I don't really know what I'm trying to express and there's no inspiration behind it. Just from having this discussion I think I'm getting somewhere. Lack of inspiration could be my issue. I feel it in my bones that creating beauty is the way forward, but perhaps first we need to be inspired by beauty...more walks in the countryside maybe, or just getting out there and engaging with life and people instead of being such a hermit. This is just a paradox, like you say, and one I have to accept and reconcile somehow.

@Aakash Yeah I see what you're saying, that taking care of yourself should be put first, but I can't muster up any passion for anything now other than reading self help books, watching non-dual videos and carrying out spiritual practices. Nothing on the level of form seems to excite me as I can see that its all meaningless. I feel that the only thing worth while is enlightenment. Sure I'd love to get my finances in order and money causes me a lot of stress (currently unemployed) but I feel like I have to become a bullshitting animal and shoe horn myself back into society, which I'm finding difficult. I've always been creative and I've taught myself music production over the last 3 years. I play the guitar, sing etc but I'm feeling that even this has all been tied up with the concept of 'succeeding' (due to my early programming) and so there's no joy in the actual process of creation. Perhaps this should be my focus, learning to enjoy creating, but I don't know how. It's a tough one. Thanks for the help

@Serotoninluv Yeah I hear ya, I guess that's a product of language and the fact that words are always just signposts. Tolle says that himself. I got it into my head that everything he says is infallible, but words never are right?

Ok I think I get it. It does raise some other questions for me but I think that as I'm operating from an unenlightened perspective my questions will be racked with assumptions and concepts and I'll just confuse myself even more. For now it's enough to understand that anything observed in this world is both imperfect and perfect. I think that's what you're saying and it makes sense. I'm a shameless Tolle fan-boy, that's the problem

I have found your answers on here really helpful and insightful but I was a little shocked and I'll admit it, even offended, to read the piece on your blog slamming Eckhart Tolle. I think this is because Tolle opened me up to spirituality and changed my life so drastically. My question is, how does an enlightened individual view anything in this world as being less than perfect, less than it should be, if all is one? Does this mean that being enlightened doesn't necessarily stop one from being judgemental and critical? I was especially surprised to see such criticism levelled at someone like Tolle, who has done so many great things for humanity and helped so many people.

Who does these practices separately? And who blends them together? As I mentioned on a similar thread, the meditative practice of 'residing as awareness' and the Self Inquiry Leo outlines as 'watching awareness' seem somewhat similar, or is there a difference? Perhaps the former is more about letting go and the latter requires more focus. I'd love to know what you guys do. I would like to combine the practices if possible to save time. My goal is realising my true nature, so I'm wondering what would be the best and quickest way to get there. 5-MeO maybe lol. That's on the cards, but I want to use traditional methods too for lasting growth.

@Aaron p Thanks dude, but without the correct knowledge, how do I know I'm doing things correctly? Do you just mean I should experiment and not get obsessed with theory etc?

@tedens Thanks buddy, that's good advice and quite uncanny as this has been the thing that's ben helping me recently, since I discovered it. Putting awareness on my consciousness. With you now saying this - I know the universe is speaking to me and telling me to carry on with it

@Nahm You're the best Nahm, thanks

@Nahm So perhaps I can make love a pivotal element of any practice. If it makes me more loving - I'm heading in the right direction? If it decreases fear and increases a sense of connection etc

@How to be wise I have to say that from what I've read it sounds like a classic chakra-related issue. You may have awoken some kundalini energy and it's hitting you like a steam train. Is it painful? Or just uncomfortable?

@Nahm Hmm, that does sound like a good way forward, to become as conscious as possible of the shift in awareness after meditation and to notice how your mind pulls you back into Maya. To be able to compare the meditative state with the 'normal' state seems very powerful. I'll give that a shot. Thanks for your help.

lol a heart attack? Come on dude, I think they'd have worked it out by now if they were going into cardiac arrest.

I didn't quite understand this sentence Nahm, could you clarify? Sorry, what's in+? As for shortcuts, Martin Ball claims to have become enlightened through taking 5-MeO DMT. How can we be sure he hasn't? Only he knows. I'm not looking for a short cut per se - just to be able to do things correctly and not waste time

@How to be wise That sounds intense. Interesting that it's unpleasant. It could be some kind of kundalini buildup in your heart chakra, due to one of your energy centres becoming unblocked, pending the experience you mentioned. I wouldn't like to give you the wrong advice as I'm no expert, but I have a feeling that the answer will be something along the lines of 'allow it to be and don't fight it. if you fight it the energy will have trouble flowing.' Try that and see if it works at all.

So just to wrap this one up guys - we could actually blend meditation and self-inquiry into one session? Where we might flip back and forward between letting go (mediation) and focusing on awareness? (self inquiry). Or should we really be doing some kind of separate practice for both of them each day? Perhaps the answer is just to experiment. I just always have this fear that I'm going to be wasting time doing things wrong. I would really love to be able to blend the practices together though, to save time.

In Leo's new video on self inquiry he mentions that the essence of self inquiry is 'observation of observation' and then adds that this is also what you're doing during meditation. So is there really a difference? Could you incorporate the two practices into one? When I meditate I do Adyashanti's 'True Meditation,' where you allow everything to be and watch your awareness, so this is indeed very similar to how Leo describes self inquiry. Of course there are types of meditation which aren't so similar. Could the difference be that with self inquiry you're not 'letting everything be' so much? Maybe you're exerting more effort into the process of concentration, so there's much more laser focus...

Its funny you should say that as I've been experiencing this for the last few months. When I stare at patterns for long enough they start melting. First of all I put it down to detoxing from weed, but I don't think it's that. The other day it was really intense, almost the same as on an actual trip. Glad I'm not the only one. Maybe it's what @Aakash said, that reality is breaking down, perhaps as a result of spiritual practices?